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I am continually amazed at how much emotional abuse many of us lived through as children. Maybe it's the reason we are caregivers today. Maybe we are still trying to get our Parents love and approval along with doing what we believe is the right thing to do. Barb, I'm sorry you had to endure that with your Mother but I must say you didn't let it drag you down, you rose above it and that is a really good lesson to bring with you in life.
I'm in a rush to get outta here and get grocery shopping done so I will say bye for now. Love you all and sending warm wishes for you today.
Ah the TV . . . gawd how mom loved it and NEVER turned it off. Didn't matter who was there or what was happening it was omnipresent. One was expected to talk over it. (The first thing I do when someone drops by - or calls - is to turn off the TV). She also used TV as a weapon . . . Mom had several ways to wake us as kids. One was to stand over our beds and beat a pot with a metal spoon. Really. Another as to stand and flick the lights rapidly yelling "get up get up get up" as if it were a fire drill.
And then there was the TV. Ours was a small (bout 1200sf) house. Mom would turn on the local morning show and turn the volume UP AS HIGH AS IT WOULD GO just as the elderly once-almost-was-an-opera-singer woman came on to do her 'entertainment' bit. Oh, the horror of that aged contralto vibrato resounding throughout the house with renditions of "A tisket, a tasket" or other such banalities. It STILL haunts me. This TV as a weapon was also how I learned of RFK's death. Brother and I had turned off the TV right after Bobby said "It's on to Chicago and lets win there". (Brother and I took a keen interest in RFK and ending the war - our brother was in Vietnam for his 2nd tour). Mom woke us with the news of his shooting not with tender condolences but with the news bulletins at full volume the next morning.
Oh Barb, I am so sorry that happened to you! It hits home with me! When these things happen to us as children it is like a stab in the heart that will not heal! It is traumatic and cruel on the part of the very person we love and so much need to love us back! Keep venting please! When you share something another person can relate to so vividly, you are giving them a gift! Makes other people, me for one, feel less alone and certainly more connected! Love you and sending many hugs your way! Kim
Hi Jen! Two hours sleep? Not even enough time to dream:( tonight, you will Sleep. Poof!! Believe it:! Love you, Jen. xo MsM... Hmmmm? Similar observances and experiences and ponderings of my own Mother. Unusual behaviors I saw in her, from my old soul as a child. We are so different from them. Our children reflect that. I see the photo of hour daughters and know how they love and admire you. My daughter, the same. My son, that's something else I have turned over. His behavior is in no way reflective of the love and life he was shown growing up. But, just as we are surrounded by those poor souls who missed out on the piñata candy, I told him the other day, I will survive his hatred. I hope he does. Anyway, fantastic post, Barb. I agree with Jen-- don't ever shut up around us. You put your words together in a harmonius, technocolor style, and it is appreciated by all. About 30 some years ago, I was visiting my Mother for the weekend. In the evening, we were sitting on the sofa 'having a conversation', but really it was watching TV, because that is what people do so they don't have to talk to each other. She became amazed over some philosophical idea I had about life and asked me. "how and what" would make me think of things like that? I said that was how my mind worked and what type of things did she think about every day. She answered-- and this is one of those 'brands' in my memory--"Oh, what am I going to wear today, what am I going to have for lunch...things like that." Non-plussed is a good word to describe my reaction. I think I decided to watch whatever was on the tube. Sigh. Keep venting. Love you All! Christina xo
mariesmom - that broke my heart that ur mom did that . glad ur dad barked at her and said shame on u shame on you , damn it ! cruel people i swear . i never could do that to my kids , im always happy to see them , i hug em when they come in and hugthem when they leave . i love my kids ,,,, hope one of em would love to give me the loving care and care for me when i get to be a demented . if they dont ill bite em in the ass . other day daughter and i and granddaughter too . was lookin at all my neckist that hubby for me for cmas every year . i told my daughter well now u all girls gotta fight over who gets this who gets that , when im dead and gone . she didnt like to hear that part of me begin dead and gone ~~~ granddaughter said i want that cross necklist , which im wearing now . but anyways im glad that i love life , and yes i love bobbie s coffee too . missing it . shall make another weekend trip just for her coffee and that bed ! geeze u lay on it and poof ure fast sound asleep . so comfty ! missin u too bobbie ~~~ . jsomebody - we all care about you and u are a wonderful person inside and out . dont let ur faimly tell u any diffrent cuz this side of cybers families loves you and we think of u all the time . big hugs to u jenny girl ... alrighty pa s speakin german , try so hard to understand him . do u want to lay on ur side or on ur back . gibberish blah blah . uhh on ur back ?. giber giber , oh u want on ur side ?, YEAH he says , rolled him over to his back . sleepin like a baby now . sheba is all perked up cuz bandit is back home again . i have never seen sheba smiled so big ! she hop and hop and bark happy . bandits like ohh mommmmmyyyyyyyyy and he licked her face . that broke my heart . he is so happy to be back home , hated it over my sons house , he was annoyee and wouldnt mind and chewed up everything thats in the yard . my son said grrr he barked all night and all day . damn him . he brought him back last night and now he s happy camper and so is sheba . the guy called my daughter and said he has 11 acres of land and he needs a good barking dogs to let him know if theres someone on his property and he lives not far from here , mmmm he said he s coming tmr to see him . if he decides he wants him then im gonna ask if it be ok we come visit him every now and then . :-) if he said uhhh i dont want him t hen i sure hope in hell that i can throw myself on the floor and throw tantrum at my hubby to keep him lol , i love bandit , he just needs a good lovin . alrighty im blabbin away i best get my hindend in third gear , love u all and have a good day xoxox austin - dont work too hard chrocheing , xoxo
I can feel that one....just sort of lodged in to un happy. I think it is genetic in my family...We always veer on the negative in all situations..It gets old... Don't shut up M it makes me feel better to know there are others who understand not just who sit back and think why doesn't she shut up and get a life if she is so unhappy...
ADH day few errands two hours sleep.....Good Weekend all..
Morning all. Another cold and beautiful morning here in Maryland.
Remember when Friday was longed for all week? Pay day, date night, football game, leaving for a weekend getaway - whatever - it was THE best day. I miss that.
Caregiving our elderly often leaves us with the feeling that one day is very much as another - especially if our elder is one who never sought out the joy in life to begin with. My Mom was like that. She lived her life - at least when I knew her - in a washed out 'black and white' way. No depth, no sparkle, no intense feelings one way of the other - just 'flat'. The only thing I saw Mom excited about was her when she thought she had possession of a rare dime that was worth millions. She got so ga ga over this that I bought, highlighted and bookmarked a coin book before I could convince her that 'her dime' was worth only about 25 cents. Then there was the Readers Digest or PCH sweepstakes she was so certain she would win she made me promise I'd accompany her to NYC.
Sigh . . . but Mom never got excited about real life. I didn't truly realize this as a child. When I was about 11 there was a Zale's ad in the newspaper for a 'mother's bracelet, and Dad covertly agreed to help me get it for Mother's day. I looked up the birthstones for Moms three kids and her one grandchild at the time, and went to Zale's and ordered it - even paid extra to have it gift wrapped. I was SO excited when the day came to give this special gift to my mom. She opened the package, laid the bracelet across her wrist, and the next moment threw it across the room - stating that it wasn't large enough to fit her wrist. That was the only time I ever heard Dad yell at my Mom . . .shaming her. I never saw the bracelet - ever again. No apologies were ever made. My Mom seemed to default to unhappy, and to take pleasure in sharing her unhappiness to those around her.
I prefer, even now with so many things in my life not as I wish them to be - to try my best to live my life in bold, vivid Technicolor rather than washed out black and white. Bring in the surround sound and the smell-o-vision! Embrace the good and the bad, the heartache as well as the joy and be grateful for the ability to FEEL the emotions that make us truly human. Be grateful I have people who love me, and who would be pleased to receive any gift I may give them - whether it fits or not - because it was given with love.
I miss my Mom, I loved my Mom - but I never, ever sought to emulate the way she lived her life.
Blah blah blah - these thoughts spring into my head and I have to get them OUT. Venting . . .that is why we're here, right?
Love you guys. I will shut up now - my gift to all of you!
Good morning everyone! I get tired just reading about some of the situations you all go through on a daily basis! Angelhair, you are amazing - and still smiling after the bathroom incident! You go girl. 4 Kids, a husband and the patience to deal with two patients. Wow. You are a saint. I'm exhausted this morning so I'll make this short. Venting might be good but I just don't have the energy. I hope you all have some peaceful moments today. . Hugs to all. Bee
You have received this angel because you at some point in life have been an angel. No one saw your wings but they felt your love.
GUARDIAN ANGEL Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of them.
Angel
A is for always thinking of others N is for numerous kind acts G is for going above and beyond E is for endless devotion L is for how much you are loved luvCuz
You must have very big wings, angelhair. You have quite a huge responsibility. Bless you. Any time you need to vent, we hear you. Lots of water under the Boat here since Bobbie first told the toothbrush story. Wow. Other toothbrushes doing multi tasking. Just like you, and all Angel Caregivers. Hugs
I care for my husband's step-dad who has alzhiemers and grandmother who is 96 years old. The other day I got a call from the school saying my 7 year old daughter slammed her hand in the door, I also have four children by the way. I was gone maybe 10 minutes, but when I got back Grandma says that he locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out. When I went to check on him there was a tooth brush in the hair gel and the bathroom looked like a scene from that movie "Daddy Day Care". It took forever to get him and the bathroom cleaned up and I was afraid to touch the toothbrush. Now I look back and smile, but holy smokes, at the time I think I was ready to scream.
Thank You!! De Nada!!! {{{{{{Cricket}}}}}} when I think how helpless all our poor relatives are--including the siblings, I wonder why intelligence, ability, and every other characteristic Seems to have been handed out like candy off the ground from a broken Piñata. I guess WE are the pushy pigs that got all the candy. Well, that's one way to look at it:) Love You Beautiful talented Piggy Caregivers!!! Ole!!!
Yesterday after waking up I go into the kitchen to start making breakfast and I hear ...ohohoh ohohoh ohoh ohoh this goes on all the time everyday then I do something and it makes a little noise then I hear OHHH OHHH OHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I go in and check on him because he sounds like he is dying from being torchered by that actress in the movie "Misery" after being "Tommyknockered" or something and there isn't a damn thing wrong with him except he wants me to jump on the pity potty with him.
Please don't think I'm insensitive to him. He plays the role of the victim and tries to make me feel like I should change the way he feels when this really needs to be changed by himself. He likes to be catered to, waited on, for just about everything when he is perfectly capable of doing these things for himself. Sometimes this just really gets to me.. it's like if I let him he will suck all the life out of me. I really hate this situation but he is who he is and the only thing that I can do about it is to do the best that I can to take care of him and be firm about him doing what he can for himself. He is so subtle in doing this that it catches me off guard and the next thing I know is I doing for him again something he shouldn't be asking me to do.. Well I found a little solution that has helped me with this and that is...I bought an Ipod and downloaded audiobooks onto it. I plugged in my headphones, clipped it to my shirt and turned the volume way way UP! I was actually able to get my whole house cleaned up for the first time in years without constantly being interrupted by him. If he wanted something it became easier for him to get up and get it for himself than to get my attention. LOL I just had to vent and share.. Should I say sorry or thanks?
hi u all ! kimmy is today ur bday ? hope u have a happy day today . i smell like a wet dog , i shall take a shower , gave sheba her bath while ago , oh my lord waters so black . need to giver her more bath i think i shall wait till tmr . give her time to dry up . now my house smells like wet dead dog ! gawd ! bandit may go live with a guy that has 11 acers of land . one guy didnt show up and the other guy told my daughter he ll come saturday to see bandit , he s the one with lots of land . that would be so perfect for bandit to have all the land to run and roam . prayers plz . i still miss bandit . i do want him back but hubby still wears the pants around here . ahh . ok im sick ofs mellin wet stinky dog on me i shall go take a shower . meow at ya all later gator xoxox
It's noon all ready. I can't believe it. Laundry going, sun shining, the cats are napping and I spent some time cyber shopping.
We now have three grand daughters (ages 2, 11 months, and 3 months) and I'm having a blast shopping for them!
I don't have any jokes, but I bet I can make you chuckle a little. Yesterday I said was going to bake cookies for hubby. I did. I used the recipe off the Toll House label but made them 50/50, chocolate chip/peanut butter chips.
While I was mixing the batter Mom called and I got distracted. So my "cookies" were not flat and had the consistancy of biscuits. I guess I over beat the batter because they really rose up! Hubby was surprised (because I rarely bake) and he didn't complain. He said they taste good but he did make note of the consistancy.
He said they were unique just like me. lol
Ok, how about this. Last night at about 7pm a teenage boy rang our door bell and asked if hubby would make a donation to the "Young Achievers Fund".
The kid had no Fund Raising papers or anything! Paul told the boy "You are very enterprising but we'll pass on this opportunity."
Cuz, I can't come up with jokes like you do, but my life is comical at times. ;-)
Yesterday, Mom called because she is concerned about the "kids". She told me they don't have warm clothing and she wonders if she should buy them jackets.
I wish I had a private jet so I could get to her.
One of the cast members of "The Chew" on ABC just said he has a new take on the Serenity Prayer. He said he wants "the wisdom to know when it's time to take a Prozak".
This morning I haven't read all the posts but I was thinking about you, Christina, knowing how bad the winds are there. Paul's cousin lives in the LA area, too. I can't comment on everyone's concerns right now, but I want you to know that I'm thinking of you all and admiring your strength, tenacity, courage, love, and compassion. Hugs to all. Bee
Well, I need to go hit the cyber mall and get some more shopping done. It takes me forever using the magnifier.
Hi Everyone. I got through yesterday pretty well considering what day it was. I am trying to stay positive. I hope everyone has a tolerable day and know that I think of you and care about you even though I have not been posting much. Love Yous!!
Good Morning Friends, High winds last night and this morning here on the left coast. Glad your ear is better, MsM. Mine are finally clear. I guess we are In that time of year when some go into the black hole and reflect. It's the time of year I am usually the happiest. Maybe because I am cooking more, thinking about what gifts to buy or make for others. I have all good memories of holidays, except for that one New Year's Eve when my parents had the break up fight and he left, drunk. I despised New Year's Eve and day for years, and what a terrible, negative way to end and begin one's year! I was not sure for a long time why I did not like it, then remembered that fearful night. I do not go to parties and usually go to bed earlier than usual, as I don't like to be out on the roads. Going to San Diego for the weekend and we'll be busy at convention for our home business. We need a pep rally, all of us. Looking forward to the positive energy. I'm sorry I did not post recipes yesterday, more distracting news from my son, but I am just moving on with my life. You can't fix some things. Ann, I understand the lack of focus. It's a strange dynamic of this lifestyle. I have not had time to research what causes it, as I cannot focus long enough on one subject to get it done. Get it? Hope you all enjoyed the Grateful video. I thought of you, appreciating each of you within the beauty of the message and photography. I sent to everyone I have email for. Have a good day, all you wonderful Angels. Love, Christina xo
Morning all and Happy December! Turn the page on those calendars!
I woke with my ear and throat pain gone - at least for now - so I am extremely grateful for this - and for the abundant sunshine this fine day. Husband woke worrying - so I've sent him off to the park for a walkabout to clear his head. It is only 30 degrees here!
Has anyone ordered groceries/household staples online? I mention this because I received a coupon in the mail this morning from Peapod by Giant. I used them for home grocery delivery several years back when the kids were here and we both worked full time - and I was very pleased with both price and delivery. It saved me loads of time to shop this way, as once I made my initial list, I could press a button and order it again or add to or delete from it with weely sales. It saved me money because it allowed me to stay strictly within my budget. Even with the delivery charge (which was $10 then) I came out way ahead as I didn't do any 'impulse' shopping. Just wanted to pass this on as a timesaver.
Ordered personalized Holiday cards for our home business to send to customers online from CVS yesterday - with a photo of my 3 daughters at Christmas when they were very young - and a personal greeting. With my coupon I got 20 of these cards for $12 and they were ready same day. Another bargain - and a gesture of good will towards our small but loyal group of customers.
Love the jokes, Cuz. Hi everybody. Things are pretty much the same around here. Mama seems to have come out of the stall she was in. Perked up day before yesterday. She had lost 3 lbs during this stall, maybe she'll gain it back now. She's been sundowning earlier since the time changed. Goes to bed now at 5:30.
I haven't been able to keep up with what's going on with you all. I hope nothing too terrible has happened lately. I think about you all every day but can't keep up with all the comments or post much myself. Just know that I love you all and hope you are doing well.
Not going to try to mention you all by name. You are all in my heart. Have a good evening.
Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"
Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world." Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I got a flat tahr." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.."
Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' " ***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
Arrrrgh - ear and throat pain . . . Ummmmm - creamy fudge. I wonder if I were to make some hot creamy fudge and place it in my right ear i would feel better? Aftr 4 glasses of wine to ease the ear pain it sounds like a lovely idea.
If anyone has an easy recipe for creamy fudge...would you please post it in the recipes thread?...I am looking for recipes that you have actually tried. I like the rocky-roadish fudge and penuche too.....too wimpy to try one off the internet... thanks, Lilli
Barb, my cold started like that a month before Thanksgiving. Try to pop your ears. Plugged Eustacian tubes. Hurts like hell. Then it went into my nose and kablooie. That was last week. Take Good Care!!!
Hey Y'all, I'm trying to sit in the recliner but my gut is objecting bitterly. So this will be a short post. Mom is still having bad days for no apparent reason. Puzzled and frustrated not knowing what to do. Sister is still being evil. Brother only semi annoying. James is doing good. Still in the black hole but not at a crisis stage like I was before. Barb, please don't disregard the jaw pain. This is also a heart attack symptom. I guess I'm on high alert still. Linda, I know you will find a home for Bandit. Christina, I love your posts. Jen, hang in with me girl. Kimmie, Cricket, Austin, lilli, rip and everyone else, you're the best sisters possible. Oh, and Cuz thanks for the laughter,
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I am continually amazed at how much emotional abuse many of us lived through as children. Maybe it's the reason we are caregivers today. Maybe we are still trying to get our Parents love and approval along with doing what we believe is the right thing to do. Barb, I'm sorry you had to endure that with your Mother but I must say you didn't let it drag you down, you rose above it and that is a really good lesson to bring with you in life.
I'm in a rush to get outta here and get grocery shopping done so I will say bye for now. Love you all and sending warm wishes for you today.
Chirp Chirp Cricket
She also used TV as a weapon . . . Mom had several ways to wake us as kids. One was to stand over our beds and beat a pot with a metal spoon. Really.
Another as to stand and flick the lights rapidly yelling "get up get up get up" as if it were a fire drill.
And then there was the TV. Ours was a small (bout 1200sf) house. Mom would turn on the local morning show and turn the volume UP AS HIGH AS IT WOULD GO just as the elderly once-almost-was-an-opera-singer woman came on to do her 'entertainment' bit. Oh, the horror of that aged contralto vibrato resounding throughout the house with renditions of "A tisket, a tasket" or other such banalities. It STILL haunts me.
This TV as a weapon was also how I learned of RFK's death. Brother and I had turned off the TV right after Bobby said "It's on to Chicago and lets win there". (Brother and I took a keen interest in RFK and ending the war - our brother was in Vietnam for his 2nd tour). Mom woke us with the news of his shooting not with tender condolences but with the news bulletins at full volume the next morning.
MsM... Hmmmm? Similar observances and experiences and ponderings of my own Mother. Unusual behaviors I saw in her, from my old soul as a child. We are so different from them. Our children reflect that. I see the photo of hour daughters and know how they love and admire you. My daughter, the same. My son, that's something else I have turned over. His behavior is in no way reflective of the love and life he was shown growing up. But, just as we are surrounded by those poor souls who missed out on the piñata candy, I told him the other day, I will survive his hatred. I hope he does.
Anyway, fantastic post, Barb. I agree with Jen-- don't ever shut up around us. You put your words together in a harmonius, technocolor style, and it is appreciated by all.
About 30 some years ago, I was visiting my Mother for the weekend. In the evening, we were sitting on the sofa 'having a conversation', but really it was watching TV, because that is what people do so they don't have to talk to each other. She became amazed over some philosophical idea I had about life and asked me. "how and what" would make me think of things like that? I said that was how my mind worked and what type of things did she think about every day. She answered-- and this is one of those 'brands' in my memory--"Oh, what am I going to wear today, what am I going to have for lunch...things like that."
Non-plussed is a good word to describe my reaction. I think I decided to watch whatever was on the tube. Sigh. Keep venting. Love you All! Christina xo
other day daughter and i and granddaughter too . was lookin at all my neckist that hubby for me for cmas every year . i told my daughter well now u all girls gotta fight over who gets this who gets that , when im dead and gone . she didnt like to hear that part of me begin dead and gone ~~~ granddaughter said i want that cross necklist , which im wearing now . but anyways im glad that i love life , and yes i love bobbie s coffee too . missing it . shall make another weekend trip just for her coffee and that bed ! geeze u lay on it and poof ure fast sound asleep . so comfty ! missin u too bobbie ~~~ .
jsomebody - we all care about you and u are a wonderful person inside and out . dont let ur faimly tell u any diffrent cuz this side of cybers families loves you and we think of u all the time . big hugs to u jenny girl ...
alrighty pa s speakin german , try so hard to understand him . do u want to lay on ur side or on ur back . gibberish blah blah . uhh on ur back ?. giber giber , oh u want on ur side ?, YEAH he says , rolled him over to his back . sleepin like a baby now .
sheba is all perked up cuz bandit is back home again . i have never seen sheba smiled so big ! she hop and hop and bark happy . bandits like ohh mommmmmyyyyyyyyy and he licked her face . that broke my heart . he is so happy to be back home , hated it over my sons house , he was annoyee and wouldnt mind and chewed up everything thats in the yard . my son said grrr he barked all night and all day . damn him . he brought him back last night and now he s happy camper and so is sheba .
the guy called my daughter and said he has 11 acres of land and he needs a good barking dogs to let him know if theres someone on his property and he lives not far from here , mmmm he said he s coming tmr to see him . if he decides he wants him then im gonna ask if it be ok we come visit him every now and then . :-) if he said uhhh i dont want him t hen i sure hope in hell that i can throw myself on the floor and throw tantrum at my hubby to keep him lol , i love bandit , he just needs a good lovin .
alrighty im blabbin away i best get my hindend in third gear , love u all and have a good day xoxox
austin - dont work too hard chrocheing , xoxo
Don't shut up M it makes me feel better to know there are others who understand not just who sit back and think why doesn't she shut up and get a life if she is so unhappy...
ADH day few errands two hours sleep.....Good Weekend all..
Remember when Friday was longed for all week? Pay day, date night, football game, leaving for a weekend getaway - whatever - it was THE best day. I miss that.
Caregiving our elderly often leaves us with the feeling that one day is very much as another - especially if our elder is one who never sought out the joy in life to begin with. My Mom was like that. She lived her life - at least when I knew her - in a washed out 'black and white' way. No depth, no sparkle, no intense feelings one way of the other - just 'flat'. The only thing I saw Mom excited about was her when she thought she had possession of a rare dime that was worth millions. She got so ga ga over this that I bought, highlighted and bookmarked a coin book before I could convince her that 'her dime' was worth only about 25 cents. Then there was the Readers Digest or PCH sweepstakes she was so certain she would win she made me promise I'd accompany her to NYC.
Sigh . . . but Mom never got excited about real life. I didn't truly realize this as a child. When I was about 11 there was a Zale's ad in the newspaper for a 'mother's bracelet, and Dad covertly agreed to help me get it for Mother's day. I looked up the birthstones for Moms three kids and her one grandchild at the time, and went to Zale's and ordered it - even paid extra to have it gift wrapped. I was SO excited when the day came to give this special gift to my mom. She opened the package, laid the bracelet across her wrist, and the next moment threw it across the room - stating that it wasn't large enough to fit her wrist. That was the only time I ever heard Dad yell at my Mom . . .shaming her. I never saw the bracelet - ever again. No apologies were ever made. My Mom seemed to default to unhappy, and to take pleasure in sharing her unhappiness to those around her.
I prefer, even now with so many things in my life not as I wish them to be - to try my best to live my life in bold, vivid Technicolor rather than washed out black and white. Bring in the surround sound and the smell-o-vision! Embrace the good and the bad, the heartache as well as the joy and be grateful for the ability to FEEL the emotions that make us truly human. Be grateful I have people who love me, and who would be pleased to receive any gift I may give them - whether it fits or not - because it was given with love.
I miss my Mom, I loved my Mom - but I never, ever sought to emulate the way she lived her life.
Blah blah blah - these thoughts spring into my head and I have to get them OUT.
Venting . . .that is why we're here, right?
Love you guys. I will shut up now - my gift to all of you!
I get tired just reading about some of the situations you all go through on a daily basis!
Angelhair, you are amazing - and still smiling after the bathroom incident! You go girl. 4 Kids, a husband and the patience to deal with two patients. Wow. You are a saint.
I'm exhausted this morning so I'll make this short. Venting might be good but I just don't have the energy.
I hope you all have some peaceful moments today. .
Hugs to all. Bee
You have received this angel because you at some point in life have been an angel. No one saw your wings but they felt your love.
GUARDIAN ANGEL
Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of them.
Angel
A is for always thinking of others
N is for numerous kind acts
G is for going above and beyond
E is for endless devotion
L is for how much you are loved
luvCuz
Well, that's one way to look at it:) Love You Beautiful talented Piggy Caregivers!!!
Ole!!!
Yesterday after waking up I go into the kitchen to start making breakfast and I hear ...ohohoh ohohoh ohoh ohoh this goes on all the time everyday then I do something and it makes a little noise then I hear OHHH OHHH OHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I go in and check on him because he sounds like he is dying from being torchered by that actress in the movie "Misery" after being "Tommyknockered" or something and there isn't a damn thing wrong with him except he wants me to jump on the pity potty with him.
Please don't think I'm insensitive to him. He plays the role of the victim and tries to make me feel like I should change the way he feels when this really needs to be changed by himself. He likes to be catered to, waited on, for just about everything when he is perfectly capable of doing these things for himself. Sometimes this just really gets to me.. it's like if I let him he will suck all the life out of me. I really hate this situation but he is who he is and the only thing that I can do about it is to do the best that I can to take care of him and be firm about him doing what he can for himself. He is so subtle in doing this that it catches me off guard and the next thing I know is I doing for him again something he shouldn't be asking me to do.. Well I found a little solution that has helped me with this and that is...I bought an Ipod and downloaded audiobooks onto it. I plugged in my headphones, clipped it to my shirt and turned the volume way way UP! I was actually able to get my whole house cleaned up for the first time in years without constantly being interrupted by him. If he wanted something it became easier for him to get up and get it for himself than to get my attention. LOL I just had to vent and share.. Should I say sorry or thanks?
Love you all,
Cricket
i smell like a wet dog , i shall take a shower , gave sheba her bath while ago , oh my lord waters so black . need to giver her more bath i think i shall wait till tmr . give her time to dry up . now my house smells like wet dead dog ! gawd !
bandit may go live with a guy that has 11 acers of land . one guy didnt show up and the other guy told my daughter he ll come saturday to see bandit , he s the one with lots of land . that would be so perfect for bandit to have all the land to run and roam . prayers plz . i still miss bandit . i do want him back but hubby still wears the pants around here . ahh .
ok im sick ofs mellin wet stinky dog on me i shall go take a shower . meow at ya all later gator xoxox
Happy day!!!
We now have three grand daughters (ages 2, 11 months, and 3 months) and I'm having a blast shopping for them!
I don't have any jokes, but I bet I can make you chuckle a little. Yesterday I said was going to bake cookies for hubby. I did. I used the recipe off the Toll House label but made them 50/50, chocolate chip/peanut butter chips.
While I was mixing the batter Mom called and I got distracted. So my "cookies" were not flat and had the consistancy of biscuits. I guess I over beat the batter because they really rose up! Hubby was surprised (because I rarely bake) and he didn't complain. He said they taste good but he did make note of the consistancy.
He said they were unique just like me. lol
Ok, how about this. Last night at about 7pm a teenage boy rang our door bell and asked if hubby would make a donation to the "Young Achievers Fund".
The kid had no Fund Raising papers or anything!
Paul told the boy "You are very enterprising but we'll pass on this opportunity."
Cuz, I can't come up with jokes like you do, but my life is comical at times. ;-)
Yesterday, Mom called because she is concerned about the "kids". She told me they don't have warm clothing and she wonders if she should buy them jackets.
I wish I had a private jet so I could get to her.
One of the cast members of "The Chew" on ABC just said he has a new take on the Serenity Prayer. He said he wants "the wisdom to know when it's time to take a Prozak".
This morning I haven't read all the posts but I was thinking about you, Christina, knowing how bad the winds are there. Paul's cousin lives in the LA area, too.
I can't comment on everyone's concerns right now, but I want you to know that I'm thinking of you all and admiring your strength, tenacity, courage, love, and compassion.
Hugs to all. Bee
Well, I need to go hit the cyber mall and get some more shopping done. It takes me forever using the magnifier.
miz
High winds last night and this morning here on the left coast. Glad your ear is better, MsM. Mine are finally clear. I guess we are In that time of year when some go into the black hole and reflect. It's the time of year I am usually the happiest. Maybe because I am cooking more, thinking about what gifts to buy or make for others. I have all good memories of holidays, except for that one New Year's Eve when my parents had the break up fight and he left, drunk. I despised New Year's Eve and day for years, and what a terrible, negative way to end and begin one's year! I was not sure for a long time why I did not like it, then remembered that fearful night. I do not go to parties and usually go to bed earlier than usual, as I don't like to be out on the roads.
Going to San Diego for the weekend and we'll be busy at convention for our home business. We need a pep rally, all of us. Looking forward to the positive energy. I'm sorry I did not post recipes yesterday, more distracting news from my son, but I am just moving on with my life. You can't fix some things.
Ann, I understand the lack of focus. It's a strange dynamic of this lifestyle. I have not had time to research what causes it, as I cannot focus long enough on one subject to get it done. Get it? Hope you all enjoyed the Grateful video. I thought of you, appreciating each of you within the beauty of the message and photography. I sent to everyone I have email for.
Have a good day, all you wonderful Angels. Love, Christina xo
I woke with my ear and throat pain gone - at least for now - so I am extremely grateful for this - and for the abundant sunshine this fine day. Husband woke worrying - so I've sent him off to the park for a walkabout to clear his head. It is only 30 degrees here!
Has anyone ordered groceries/household staples online? I mention this because I received a coupon in the mail this morning from Peapod by Giant. I used them for home grocery delivery several years back when the kids were here and we both worked full time - and I was very pleased with both price and delivery. It saved me loads of time to shop this way, as once I made my initial list, I could press a button and order it again or add to or delete from it with weely sales. It saved me money because it allowed me to stay strictly within my budget. Even with the delivery charge (which was $10 then) I came out way ahead as I didn't do any 'impulse' shopping. Just wanted to pass this on as a timesaver.
Ordered personalized Holiday cards for our home business to send to customers online from CVS yesterday - with a photo of my 3 daughters at Christmas when they were very young - and a personal greeting. With my coupon I got 20 of these cards for $12 and they were ready same day. Another bargain - and a gesture of good will towards our small but loyal group of customers.
I love you guys.
I haven't been able to keep up with what's going on with you all. I hope nothing too terrible has happened lately. I think about you all every day but can't keep up with all the comments or post much myself. Just know that I love you all and hope you are doing well.
Not going to try to mention you all by name. You are all in my heart.
Have a good evening.
Love and hugs,
Ann
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"
Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.."
Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
thanks,
Lilli
Evil sisters, brothers bad,
Of zero use to Mom or Dad!
I'm trying to sit in the recliner but my gut is objecting bitterly. So this will be a short post. Mom is still having bad days for no apparent reason. Puzzled and frustrated not knowing what to do. Sister is still being evil. Brother only semi annoying. James is doing good. Still in the black hole but not at a crisis stage like I was before.
Barb, please don't disregard the jaw pain. This is also a heart attack symptom. I guess I'm on high alert still. Linda, I know you will find a home for Bandit. Christina, I love your posts. Jen, hang in with me girl. Kimmie, Cricket, Austin, lilli, rip and everyone else, you're the best sisters possible. Oh, and Cuz thanks for the laughter,
Love ya,
Diane