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Paying bills . . .sigh. I'm finished with Christmas shopping and will not give into the urge to buy anything more. My last gift was to my local Hospice - a case of disposable razors from their wishlist. I went through a great deal of razors with Mom, keeping her chin smooth. It was one thing she made me promise her early on, and shaving her chin the night before she died was the last thing my youngest did for her grandmother.
LindaHeart: hubby might be jealous you went to Boat. haha. Whenever I want to win my husband over, I use the old trick. You know. Mine does not like animals in the house; he was raised on a very large ranch in the PNW, was used to his Dad bringing half frozen calves into the mud room and giving them a raw egg in a shot of whiskey---ahhhh, the old school ways... Anyway, he is fussier than an old woman ( not the kind we know:), and you would think he wears white gloves on his butt. Drives me nuts with the "Is there hair on the sofa?" Now, I am not a slob, and I run an air purifier and vacuum and dust all the time--well, not all the time-- but Sanura sheds. I have mentioned this before, but he does not believe me when I tell him I clean up just as much of his bear hair as the cat's. He had his back waxed when he went to China and it took him 6 months to recover from it!!! Also, I am positive Linda would not do anything to harm even a fly, and she never gives up, so Bandit will end up another mushy fan of LindaHeart. As an old psychic told me once: Husbands come and go, but your children and pets are with you forever". haha!! I think I didn't think that was quite right, but I kind of understand. One of my aunt's had a plac over her door that read: Divorce never, Murder maybe". wow--I am surrounded by strange people, aren't I? But still, I know right from wrong. And sex does work. Wha ha ha!!! YeeHaw!!! Oh boy, Cuz is gonna look up some really good jokes after that comment. {{{{{{{{{{{{Love and Hugs to the Captain, as always. Across the land and over the sea, may you feel the love I send to, uh... THEE:) }}}}}}}}}} xoxoxoxoxo Annt, Anniegirl, CG, Miz, LindaHeart, Jen, Rip, Rosella, MariesMom, Diane, KIMMY, LILLI, KULI, Cricket, Maxine/Austin, SSK, SelfishSiblings, StillStanding BJ, Newbies--md, Ted and Cuz guys, Headbanger, Careshare, Pirate, if you're reading: BIG HUGS AND LOTS OF BLESSINGS. Se llamo!!! Christina xoxo
morning you all . almost noon here .. rossella kimmy -my daughter got on cragislist and got 5 calls already . one called said i hope he s free im broke and was late paying trailer rent , daughter said u cant have him ... i said oh my goshtrailer ! no way in hell , he would destory that trailer and if shes late payin trailer rent how is she goingto buy dog food ! we can just picture him chain up and be long forgotten nanana .... not happening . im about to tell my hubby OBMAJ ! tired of him wearing pants around me and tell me i cant paint or cant do this orthat , uhhhh i thought this is my house too ? i won the battle about keeping louie in the house 5 yrs ago whenhe was just a purtty lit kiten , he was hell piss off about it but i didnt care . bandit is too much on me but i feel like he s home sick and wants to come back here . it is just breakin my heart , when i take the rental car back to the rental place i will come home and focus on sheba , she will be staying inside here and yes im gonna give her a good bath . louie will be piss off bt he ll just have to get over it . lalalalaa.
dad sat in the kitchen and watch me do dishes , sort out bills , make list of grocries and cut up onions carrots celer and ham , flop it all in the beans in crockpot , yummie , cant wait to eat them . pa slurp some coffee and enjoyed what i was doing . then i took him to the front door so he can see the snow that is left on the van , the ground has no snow . its al gone waaaaa. he enjoyed the morning and that makes me feel good inside . you all have a happy day , will meow at ya again later tnite about sheba .. christina - u are a good hearted daughter always there for ur mom . she is so blessing to have you and i know deep inside she loves you very much and she appercaites that ure there for her . always watching out for her and that tells me youre a angel ! when bobbie and i was talkin about sad times , we got choked up i got up and gave her a good hug , i told her this is not a bear hug it is a angel hugs . she smiled from ear to ear ... im sending you all a angel hugs !!!! lalala . gotta zoom around , have so much to do and seems like theres more to do . my herat is still crackin more and more when i think about bandit , i honeslty do love bandit , i do want to keep him . hubby knew i was mad at him cuz i didnt tuck him in bed last night , he didnt sleep well and got up and said u didnt tuck me in i said u didnt tell me u were going to bed . then i felt bad i went in there about an hr later and tucked him in and gave him a bear hug . in back of my mind i was saying OBMAJ !! heeheee . later gators !!! xoxoxox
The story of Christina today was heartbreaking, like the "help!" of Sskape and the story of Carolyn yesterday and the difficulties of everyone with parents falling, getting more and more lost.... I am too sad to comment. I just wanted to say something to Linda: Kimmie is offering to help you with Bandit. Please, as you live not far from each other, accept her help. He could go to a shelter where he will not be killed, and miracles happen, one day some other person could adopt him. My Heathcliff is the same. He destroys everything, he is unbearably full of energy... Perhaps a person, as crazy as I am, will keep Bandit the way I keep Heathcliff. Please Linda, don't give him to be killed, you would regret it all your life! Kim has a great heart. She will help you.
OK - my posts were bounced repeatedly arrgghhhh. So a synopsis
Chris thanks I looked up a DIY herb pack recipe online and took some advil.
My FAVORITE cookbook ever is A Taste of Georgia (now in its 25th yr of printing) by the Newnan GA Junior League (can you hear my accent whn I say that?) and it has recipes for possum and taters and other such delicacies. I just made Senator Russell's Sweet Potato Casserole for Turkey Day (a shout out to my roots) to go with the "Yankee Thanksgiving" feast my sister cooks, and have just now sent my BIL a recipe for Vinegar Pie. Yum-yum.
Christina: I really like those packs you can freeze or microwave. I used them on Mom all the time when she got swelling above her eye....took it right down.
MsM: don't blame you for not wanting to take the caregiving gig...too many fresh memories, I think....I hope you find the perfect job.
Cg and Md: welcome aboard.
Cricket and all: you just have to try the chicken recipe I posted under "Favorite Recipes." Now, ya' know that if I posted it, it has to be "foolproof" (wait a minute...does that make me a fool??...hmmmm.)
Kim, Jen, annt, Diane...please, let's not lose you to the black hole....so easy to slip into one. Try making one change that will improve things...even if it is something small...empowerment and drawing boudaries saves us.
Rip, Linda, Bobbie (if you are peeking in), Rosella, Miz, Austin, sskape2 (long time no see), and to anyone I missed: Hugs to you all wherever you are on this journey
Cuz, you crack me up....and your "un-PC" posts were just too funny: Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe. (apologies and a wink to our southern friends)
Mom is in the hospital again and we are trying to get her out and home where she can finally get some rest and exercise....the things that will actually do her some good. Long-distance caregiving is no less stressful, as far as I can tell....and, in some ways, its more difficult.
Lighting lots of "online" candles and sending up prayers for us all.
Carolyn, just buy the cookies by Nestle's in the case by biscuits. They come in little cubes and there are 2 dozen. You can bake them all or a few at a time. I put 2 cubes together since they come out small. Last week I got the oatmeal raisin, hubby's favorite. Trust me, it is NOT "baking". You will survive it. Heehee
Barb, it sounds like neuralgia. Do you have an herbal pack? Put it in microwave for a minute and place on your ear and jaw. Take an advil or whatever you take for pain. Take zinc and Airbourne 3 x today. Fight it by indulging yourself with rest and sleep today. Keep using herbal pack as long as it feels good. I bought a collection of different herbal packs at a kiosk in the mall several years ago. There is one that has straps you can put on your lower back, one that drapes over the shoulders-- used that for Mother on cold mornings under her fur stole-- and a 4x8 inch pillow that it good for face, wrist, ankle. I've used them all for different people and ailments, and bought several as gifts. You can put in freezer or microwave, filled with lavender and flax seeds. I'm posting recipes today for pea soup, butternut squash soup, and a very hearty vegetarian lentil stew with cornbread dumplings. Ok-- the doctor is Out. Haha. Love Y'all. xo
I'm not sure if you all can see the flowers in the profile picture I'm showcasing today, it is of my "yesterday, today and tomorrow" bushes in full bloom in my backyard this morning! I just had to share :) Chirp!
Before I signed in here I read an article on this site: "Is Alzheimers (or dementia) the patient's problem ... or yours?" It was a good reminder of why we have this forum - because the problem is OURS.
Before I read the article, I was going to sit down and vent because yesterday I spent 20 minutes on the phone with Mom subtracting one transaction in her checkbook. I lost patience, but not openly. Thank goodness she couldn't see my body language! ( How many times can you repeat "no, Mom, zero from 8 is not 9"?)
The article reminded me that Mom's fear and anxiety is behind this situation. So, I come here to tell you all about....my anxiety. Wow. Thank goodness you are here!
Thankfully, I did sleep better last night so I feel I can make better sense of life today. I do want to thank all of you for your kind words, advice and information about EMTs and 911. I will file this helpful information away for future use.
Mariesmom - yes, we did take the Cape May Ferry to Lewes. We've done it many times over the past few years because we live in western PA and it cuts out part of the drive. I grew up spending some summers boating so I don't have any sea sickness issues. I really enjoy boating. By the way, I liked your joke!
Diane, I'm so sorry this is such a rough patch for you and your Mom. Please try to find some respite for yourself - you need it and deserve it.
Jen - yes, it will come to an end someday for all of us. Somehow, we have to look at ourselves and be reminded that we care for our loved ones by choice. Even when it's been sort of "dumped" on us because no one else can or is willing to do it. We still have a choice. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. You are a wonderful person and you are coping as well as you can in a difficult situation. Mom can't thank you or let you know how precious what you are doing is to her - but we can. Thank you, Jen.
Md - beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing it with us and Welcome! Linda - I hope you can get Sheba in the house and find a good place for Bandit. Our friends here gave you good advice! Ro - thanks for your kind words. You are just so very special Cricket - Hey girl! I am not sure I have read all the posts...I got lost about the BOAT TIME but it sounded like fun. Kimmie - I so hope you can get some rest. I know myself how hard it is to cope when you are so exhausted. Take care, girlfriend.
I need to get busy here this morning. I should make cookies or something for Hubby's lunches (I love to cook but hate to bake!). Ugh. He's a good guy and I can't get to the store on my own so, I'll be a good guy and do it for him. lol
Oh, good news. I learned my sclera lens finally arrived and I have an appointment 12/13 to get it. I don't really want to wait that long, but it's an hour drive to the specialists (I have to see 2 docs) and I had to coordinate the appointments. If all is well and no adjustments are needed, it may be a GREAT Christmas. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Hugs to all! If I didn't mention you by name forgive me. You are important, too! Bee
Christina, You inspire me to be a better person. I to am going to adopt Linda's Lalala attitude. That's sort of where I am with Dad now. He is having an issue with his bladder or prostate gland so I'm about to make an appointment with the Urologist. Dad lays in bed and moans so loud like he is dying in agony and it's one of his forms of passive aggressiveness, I can tell he is just demanding attention because when he hears me in the kitchen his moans get louder and louder then when I go in he stops, lalalalala I'm going to take him to the doctor just in case though. When he acts like this it makes me want to slap him (not that I ever would) but then I remind myself to remember compassion. Being a caregiver can be a direct path into ones soul and if we let it, it can help us grow by teaching us more and more about ourselves. Oh boy is it hard at times!
Christina stop your post made me cry. It was so true and so real and how that lump comes up in your throat when you have to admit to folks that no else gives dam about crazy old Mom (or dad) but you. And how yes yes yes you are the best person in the family - period- because despite our desire to eat ice cream(or HUGE bags of chips) sometimes coupled with the thought that instead of checking on Mom we should run - not walk - far far away, we don't run away. We show up. Awesome post there. -- I've got that weird kind of pain in my ear running ithrough my jaw and into my throat thing going on since last night this morning. Feels kind of like a earache/ toothache and its trying to bother me when I swallow . . .I've had it before but can't remember how I got rid of it. No fever or other symptoms. Any ideas?
Husband off to Jersey on a press check. We actually made decent money this quarter with our home business - but not nearly enough - and there is nothing else in the queue. We have trimmed down and jazzed up his resume and posted it everywhere and even to headhunters.
I continue to look at the want ads for me and am even now considering the one job I can probably get at a decent wage - elder caregiving. But of course it is the one thing I really don't want to do for a number of reasons all of which I am sure all here understand.
Lovely and COLD here today in Maryland. Love you guys.
Very nice, md. Welcome! You seem to have the whole perspective. Lots of wonderful people here on Grossed Out, and fantastic support throughout the site. Hi Crew. Diane, sorry you are in the pits right now. I asked you a while back if you can put guard rails on your Mom's bed, or does she have a hospital bed? I was so used to my Mother not being able to do anything on her own, except jump off the sofa to wander, so I am puzzled about your Mom and Kim's Dad falling? Because my Mother was legally blind, we never let her out of our sight, that's why she never fell. It is a scary thing to hear things going bump in the night and I am sorry you are going through this. Is there anything that will help? The time I am spending with Mother now is at the stage of her yelling and getting herself worked up into a frenzy, then she closes her eyes, exhales and relaxes for a brief moment. She repeats certain words over and over with a frantic look on her face. It is devastating. She says, Mama, and NO, and Oh my gosh, and Oh NO, over and over and over loudly. She can say a few things normally, but only as a response. I am pretty sure my brother will NOT come see her again, as he is too sensitive to handle it. Last weekend my sister brought her husband, and that is the first time he has seen her in over 2 years. Her kids have never visited, as she was not an active Grandmother to them, but what about "respect?" It is definitely an emotional roller coaster, but I don't do the physical jobs anymore, so I can deal with it. I must admit, as I walked out of the care home today, I immediately thought about buying an ice cream, or something, anything comforting to eat. I was so aware of it, and talked myself out of it quickly. Up until now I have been aware, but didn't care. Now, I have caught up with myself, how I look and feel, and know I must do a turn around. Today a hospice worker was at the home when I got there doing an update on another woman. She witnessed Mother's behavior, saw that I take her into her bedroom, then take her outside for a long walk. I do that for many reasons: to get Mother out into the fresh air and sunshine, give the others a total break, and burn off some of my anxiety from each visit. Some days she doth protest too much, but I say Lalalalala, Mother (I learned that from LindaHeart:) Put on her hat, sunglasses and sweater or a throw, and off we go. What surprised me today was the visiting hospice nurse said. "You're so patient and sweet with your Mom". I just looked at her, thought I was going to cry. She looked like she was going to cry. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued pushing her wheelchair. She asked, "Is there any other family to help you?" Then I could feel my throat tighten and I shook my head no. Mother all the while is yelling and saying, Oh no, Oh, no, and I just want to focus on the walk because it's enough to deal with. It has become a ritual. I feel good that I have this much aware time with her, I can address the most meaningful situations with regard to what can I do for her that she cannot think of for herself. Today, maybe before today, I realized why I am the best person in the "family", to be her caregiver. Love you all, Christina xo
Linda you lucky girl getting to go meet Bobbie! That's great :) You know I'm kinda nutty and that's okay, but how about bringing your dog inside and put her in a warm tub with some Epsom salt to ease her joints then give her a s-poo :) I've been reading all the posts and have been catching up from the Thanksgiving dinner. Today I had two old fillings removed at the Dentist and new ones put in. Our weather here is so gorgeous that I've been doing some gardening outside everyday.
Cuz, omg the jokes have been great! Thanks for posting them. And Barb, the one about the freckles/wrinkles was priceless.
Carolyn, Sorry you're having to go through those difficulties with your Mother. It's hard I know. I'm glad you unloaded a little here. I think they (parents) repeat the same things over and over because it's their way of trying to keep from forgetting. My best friend out in Cali who is old enough to be my Mother also has the beginnings of dementia seems to be obsessed with her bowels also, LOL The poor dears just don't have anything else to talk about. It's pretty sad really. I hope your back at home safe and getting a breather.
Diane, dear Diane, you've taken on so much stress and responsibility in the last few weeks it's no wonder you've got IBS and the black hole syndrome :( we are here for you. I wish I could say or do something to help you more.
Kimmy, I knew something was going on with you cause I didn't see you posting as much as usual. Sorry you're not getting much sleep. If you're getting little cat naps in during the day that's good.
It's late and I better get off to bed. Everyone just know that you and your loved ones are all in my prayers. Love you all. Chirp Chirp Cricket
The thing that we who care-give all share and understand, If Mom thinks she's our daughter now, Or Dad plays with his hands. These changes in the folks we love are far beyond just sad. They make us crazy too, it's true, they also make us mad. Our worlds have been turned upside down, life as we knew it gone. As are many friends and siblings - yet alone we soldier on. It is a choice, we realize this, we could just walk away And leave the ones who gave us life to somehow find their way. Yet though our hearts are breaking, our minds and bodies shot, We will not be the ones to leave those others have forgot. We'll forge ahead, and do our best, and give love every day. We'll tend their wounds, and clean their poop, and wipe their tears away. For while we may feel abandoned in our choice to wage this fight, When we look into our parent's eyes, we know our choice was right.
Linda-what kind if dog is bandit? I think there are some no kill shelters here. You might check with Pet Smart. Sheba probably wouldn't have any odor if you threw her in a warm tub with some good smelling shampoo. What a heartbreaking situation for you! Luv ya lots....Tired Kimmy
thanks miz , yes she is a hoot and a very good person inside and out . someday i do want to go back ... 2 days just wasnt enuff . ssk - happy to hear from you , i do think of u often and wondering how u guys are doing . gotta stay near by so we wont worry as much . wheres cricket ? saw her picture in facebook . my gosh she would be a blast to hang out with ! come on cricket where are u ? hope all is well there , keepin warm i bet . son doesnt like bandit so he doesnt know what to do with him . i told himi take him back , hubby yelled noooooooo i dont want that damn dog back , my heart crack a little . son said im sorry mom , that dog barks all night and all day and his 2 other dogs doesnt care for bandit cuz he is so anoyyed , crack my heart more . i think i ll take him to the pound and let them put him to sleep cuz i know nobody wants a hyperactive dog . chews on everything , jumps on ya , runs off wont listen when u hollar . he is just tooo much , i bet that is whythe first owner took him to the pound , now this will be his 2nd owner to take him back there . im just sad , if m hubby just let me keep him i could work with him but noooooooooo! damn ,, sheba wouldnt get out of her dog house , her back leg just wont work , hubby put some straw in her house and said she looks bad , i said yes i wish i could bring her in the house cuz i know the cold air is hurting her hips , he said we ll see how she is tmr if she still looks bad , i could bring her in and stink the house up , shes 14 yrs old , anybody wants bandit ? xoxo
Linda, I am so glad you got to THE BOAT and to meet Bobbie. Isn't she a doll and a hoot!! Such a good hostess too!! Someday maybe we can go and stay longer. What a ball that would be. Now you are in the club of those fortunate enough to meet our wonderful Captain!! :)) And Bobbie got to meet you!! You deserve all the fun in the world after all the work you put in day in and day out for your pa and all of the rest of your family. So glad you had BOAT TIME!!
Ya, the puppy is helping me get thru it! Thanks he's always happy to see me We were doing pretty good, but have had about two weeks of this nightly agitation. Two hours and she will go to bed, yay!
Hi I haven't posted for a while, hope all are coping ok. My Mom's agitation is getting on my last nerve. It's either sundowning, UTI, or I don't know what. AAAHHHHH!! No one here understands this but I know you guys will. I feel better already.
Yay!! Snowing here now! Big beautiful flakes! Something different really helps lift the mood!
Diane, sorry to hear your Mom fell! Dad had that week with three falls and I was on pins and needles! Every little noise would have me running to check on him! Try to rest as much as you can with the IBS! I know it is easier said than done! Hope James is doing much better too! XXOO
I think I am becoming very sleep deprived and can't focus on anything well at all these days! Find myself nodding off throughout the day! Oh well, it is what it is.....and so it goes!
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered into his grandma's face, and said, "Wrinkles."
So Cuz won't alone in his offending anyone . . . --- "Hello". "Mrs. Smith, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Smith, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's tests to the lab yesterday, a test from another Mr. Smith arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Smith asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Smith.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him".
Carolyn, your story is very well written and very sad. I am sorry for you and your mother. You know she won't be able to live alone, very soon, and she refuses help. I know how hard it is. Diane I am sorry you are still so depressed. Try, as much as possible, to stay positive and think that at least James is better... Barb I am happy you are seeing beautiful places. Linda I am happy about your vacation and your time with Bobbie. Christina I hope you are well and recovering from the tiredness of Thanksgiving. Sorry if I forgot someone. I woke up very early and I am sleepy...+ Great politically incorrect jokes, Cuz! The one about Italians was very cute.
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Mine does not like animals in the house; he was raised on a very large ranch in the PNW, was used to his Dad bringing half frozen calves into the mud room and giving them a raw egg in a shot of whiskey---ahhhh, the old school ways...
Anyway, he is fussier than an old woman ( not the kind we know:), and you would think he wears white gloves on his butt. Drives me nuts with the "Is there hair on the sofa?" Now, I am not a slob, and I run an air purifier and vacuum and dust all the time--well, not all the time-- but Sanura sheds. I have mentioned this before, but he does not believe me when I tell him I clean up just as much of his bear hair as the cat's. He had his back waxed when he went to China and it took him 6 months to recover from it!!!
Also, I am positive Linda would not do anything to harm even a fly, and she never gives up, so Bandit will end up another mushy fan of LindaHeart.
As an old psychic told me once: Husbands come and go, but your children and pets are with you forever". haha!! I think I didn't think that was quite right, but I kind of understand. One of my aunt's had a plac over her door that read: Divorce never, Murder maybe". wow--I am surrounded by strange people, aren't I? But still, I know right from wrong. And sex does work. Wha ha ha!!! YeeHaw!!!
Oh boy, Cuz is gonna look up some really good jokes after that comment.
{{{{{{{{{{{{Love and Hugs to the Captain, as always. Across the land and over the sea, may you feel the love I send to, uh... THEE:) }}}}}}}}}} xoxoxoxoxo
Annt, Anniegirl, CG, Miz, LindaHeart, Jen, Rip, Rosella, MariesMom, Diane, KIMMY, LILLI, KULI, Cricket, Maxine/Austin, SSK, SelfishSiblings, StillStanding BJ, Newbies--md, Ted and Cuz guys, Headbanger, Careshare, Pirate, if you're reading: BIG HUGS AND LOTS OF BLESSINGS. Se llamo!!!
Christina xoxo
rossella kimmy -my daughter got on cragislist and got 5 calls already . one called said i hope he s free im broke and was late paying trailer rent , daughter said u cant have him ... i said oh my goshtrailer ! no way in hell , he would destory that trailer and if shes late payin trailer rent how is she goingto buy dog food ! we can just picture him chain up and be long forgotten nanana .... not happening . im about to tell my hubby OBMAJ ! tired of him wearing pants around me and tell me i cant paint or cant do this orthat , uhhhh i thought this is my house too ? i won the battle about keeping louie in the house 5 yrs ago whenhe was just a purtty lit kiten , he was hell piss off about it but i didnt care . bandit is too much on me but i feel like he s home sick and wants to come back here . it is just breakin my heart ,
when i take the rental car back to the rental place i will come home and focus on sheba , she will be staying inside here and yes im gonna give her a good bath . louie will be piss off bt he ll just have to get over it . lalalalaa.
dad sat in the kitchen and watch me do dishes , sort out bills , make list of grocries and cut up onions carrots celer and ham , flop it all in the beans in crockpot , yummie , cant wait to eat them . pa slurp some coffee and enjoyed what i was doing . then i took him to the front door so he can see the snow that is left on the van , the ground has no snow . its al gone waaaaa. he enjoyed the morning and that makes me feel good inside .
you all have a happy day , will meow at ya again later tnite about sheba ..
christina - u are a good hearted daughter always there for ur mom . she is so blessing to have you and i know deep inside she loves you very much and she appercaites that ure there for her . always watching out for her and that tells me youre a angel !
when bobbie and i was talkin about sad times , we got choked up i got up and gave her a good hug , i told her this is not a bear hug it is a angel hugs . she smiled from ear to ear ... im sending you all a angel hugs !!!! lalala .
gotta zoom around , have so much to do and seems like theres more to do .
my herat is still crackin more and more when i think about bandit , i honeslty do love bandit , i do want to keep him . hubby knew i was mad at him cuz i didnt tuck him in bed last night , he didnt sleep well and got up and said u didnt tuck me in i said u didnt tell me u were going to bed . then i felt bad i went in there about an hr later and tucked him in and gave him a bear hug . in back of my mind i was saying OBMAJ !! heeheee .
later gators !!! xoxoxox
I just wanted to say something to Linda: Kimmie is offering to help you with Bandit. Please, as you live not far from each other, accept her help. He could go to a shelter where he will not be killed, and miracles happen, one day some other person could adopt him. My Heathcliff is the same. He destroys everything, he is unbearably full of energy... Perhaps a person, as crazy as I am, will keep Bandit the way I keep Heathcliff. Please Linda, don't give him to be killed, you would regret it all your life! Kim has a great heart. She will help you.
Chris thanks I looked up a DIY herb pack recipe online and took some advil.
My FAVORITE cookbook ever is A Taste of Georgia (now in its 25th yr of printing) by the Newnan GA Junior League (can you hear my accent whn I say that?) and it has recipes for possum and taters and other such delicacies. I just made Senator Russell's Sweet Potato Casserole for Turkey Day (a shout out to my roots) to go with the "Yankee Thanksgiving" feast my sister cooks, and have just now sent my BIL a recipe for Vinegar Pie. Yum-yum.
MsM: don't blame you for not wanting to take the caregiving gig...too many fresh memories, I think....I hope you find the perfect job.
Cg and Md: welcome aboard.
Cricket and all: you just have to try the chicken recipe I posted under "Favorite Recipes." Now, ya' know that if I posted it, it has to be "foolproof" (wait a minute...does that make me a fool??...hmmmm.)
Kim, Jen, annt, Diane...please, let's not lose you to the black hole....so easy to slip into one. Try making one change that will improve things...even if it is something small...empowerment and drawing boudaries saves us.
Rip, Linda, Bobbie (if you are peeking in), Rosella, Miz, Austin, sskape2 (long time no see), and to anyone I missed: Hugs to you all wherever you are on this journey
Cuz, you crack me up....and your "un-PC" posts were just too funny:
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
(apologies and a wink to our southern friends)
Mom is in the hospital again and we are trying to get her out and home where she can finally get some rest and exercise....the things that will actually do her some good. Long-distance caregiving is no less stressful, as far as I can tell....and, in some ways, its more difficult.
Lighting lots of "online" candles and sending up prayers for us all.
Sending everyone calm waters today.
I bought a collection of different herbal packs at a kiosk in the mall several years ago. There is one that has straps you can put on your lower back, one that drapes over the shoulders-- used that for Mother on cold mornings under her fur stole-- and a 4x8 inch pillow that it good for face, wrist, ankle. I've used them all for different people and ailments, and bought several as gifts. You can put in freezer or microwave, filled with lavender and flax seeds.
I'm posting recipes today for pea soup, butternut squash soup, and a very hearty vegetarian lentil stew with cornbread dumplings.
Ok-- the doctor is Out. Haha. Love Y'all. xo
I'm not sure if you all can see the flowers in the profile picture I'm showcasing today, it is of my "yesterday, today and tomorrow" bushes in full bloom in my backyard this morning! I just had to share :) Chirp!
Before I read the article, I was going to sit down and vent because yesterday I spent 20 minutes on the phone with Mom subtracting one transaction in her checkbook. I lost patience, but not openly. Thank goodness she couldn't see my body language! ( How many times can you repeat "no, Mom, zero from 8 is not 9"?)
The article reminded me that Mom's fear and anxiety is behind this situation. So, I come here to tell you all about....my anxiety. Wow. Thank goodness you are here!
Thankfully, I did sleep better last night so I feel I can make better sense of life today. I do want to thank all of you for your kind words, advice and information about EMTs and 911. I will file this helpful information away for future use.
Mariesmom - yes, we did take the Cape May Ferry to Lewes. We've done it many times over the past few years because we live in western PA and it cuts out part of the drive. I grew up spending some summers boating so I don't have any sea sickness issues. I really enjoy boating. By the way, I liked your joke!
Diane, I'm so sorry this is such a rough patch for you and your Mom. Please try to find some respite for yourself - you need it and deserve it.
Jen - yes, it will come to an end someday for all of us. Somehow, we have to look at ourselves and be reminded that we care for our loved ones by choice. Even when it's been sort of "dumped" on us because no one else can or is willing to do it. We still have a choice. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. You are a wonderful person and you are coping as well as you can in a difficult situation. Mom can't thank you or let you know how precious what you are doing is to her - but we can. Thank you, Jen.
Md - beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing it with us and Welcome!
Linda - I hope you can get Sheba in the house and find a good place for Bandit. Our friends here gave you good advice!
Ro - thanks for your kind words. You are just so very special
Cricket - Hey girl! I am not sure I have read all the posts...I got lost about the BOAT TIME but it sounded like fun.
Kimmie - I so hope you can get some rest. I know myself how hard it is to cope when you are so exhausted. Take care, girlfriend.
I need to get busy here this morning. I should make cookies or something for Hubby's lunches (I love to cook but hate to bake!). Ugh. He's a good guy and I can't get to the store on my own so, I'll be a good guy and do it for him. lol
Oh, good news. I learned my sclera lens finally arrived and I have an appointment 12/13 to get it. I don't really want to wait that long, but it's an hour drive to the specialists (I have to see 2 docs) and I had to coordinate the appointments. If all is well and no adjustments are needed, it may be a GREAT Christmas. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Hugs to all! If I didn't mention you by name forgive me. You are important, too! Bee
Christina, You inspire me to be a better person. I to am going to adopt Linda's Lalala attitude. That's sort of where I am with Dad now. He is having an issue with his bladder or prostate gland so I'm about to make an appointment with the Urologist. Dad lays in bed and moans so loud like he is dying in agony and it's one of his forms of passive aggressiveness, I can tell he is just demanding attention because when he hears me in the kitchen his moans get louder and louder then when I go in he stops, lalalalala I'm going to take him to the doctor just in case though. When he acts like this it makes me want to slap him (not that I ever would) but then I remind myself to remember compassion. Being a caregiver can be a direct path into ones soul and if we let it, it can help us grow by teaching us more and more about ourselves. Oh boy is it hard at times!
Hi Jen :)
Everyone have a good day. Love you all.
Chirp Chirp Cricket
--
I've got that weird kind of pain in my ear running ithrough my jaw and into my throat thing going on since last night this morning. Feels kind of like a earache/ toothache and its trying to bother me when I swallow . . .I've had it before but can't remember how I got rid of it. No fever or other symptoms. Any ideas?
Husband off to Jersey on a press check. We actually made decent money this quarter with our home business - but not nearly enough - and there is nothing else in the queue. We have trimmed down and jazzed up his resume and posted it everywhere and even to headhunters.
I continue to look at the want ads for me and am even now considering the one job I can probably get at a decent wage - elder caregiving. But of course it is the one thing I really don't want to do for a number of reasons all of which I am sure all here understand.
Lovely and COLD here today in Maryland. Love you guys.
Hi Crew. Diane, sorry you are in the pits right now. I asked you a while back if you can put guard rails on your Mom's bed, or does she have a hospital bed? I was so used to my Mother not being able to do anything on her own, except jump off the sofa to wander, so I am puzzled about your Mom and Kim's Dad falling? Because my Mother was legally blind, we never let her out of our sight, that's why she never fell. It is a scary thing to hear things going bump in the night and I am sorry you are going through this. Is there anything that will help?
The time I am spending with Mother now is at the stage of her yelling and getting herself worked up into a frenzy, then she closes her eyes, exhales and relaxes for a brief moment. She repeats certain words over and over with a frantic look on her face. It is devastating. She says, Mama, and NO, and Oh my gosh, and Oh NO, over and over and over loudly. She can say a few things normally, but only as a response. I am pretty sure my brother will NOT come see her again, as he is too sensitive to handle it. Last weekend my sister brought her husband, and that is the first time he has seen her in over 2 years. Her kids have never visited, as she was not an active Grandmother to them, but what about "respect?" It is definitely an emotional roller coaster, but I don't do the physical jobs anymore, so I can deal with it. I must admit, as I walked out of the care home today, I immediately thought about buying an ice cream, or something, anything comforting to eat. I was so aware of it, and talked myself out of it quickly. Up until now I have been aware, but didn't care. Now, I have caught up with myself, how I look and feel, and know I must do a turn around.
Today a hospice worker was at the home when I got there doing an update on another woman. She witnessed Mother's behavior, saw that I take her into her bedroom, then take her outside for a long walk. I do that for many reasons: to get Mother out into the fresh air and sunshine, give the others a total break, and burn off some of my anxiety from each visit. Some days she doth protest too much, but I say Lalalalala, Mother (I learned that from LindaHeart:) Put on her hat, sunglasses and sweater or a throw, and off we go. What surprised me today was the visiting hospice nurse said. "You're so patient and sweet with your Mom". I just looked at her, thought I was going to cry. She looked like she was going to cry. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued pushing her wheelchair. She asked, "Is there any other family to help you?" Then I could feel my throat tighten and I shook my head no. Mother all the while is yelling and saying, Oh no, Oh, no, and I just want to focus on the walk because it's enough to deal with. It has become a ritual. I feel good that I have this much aware time with her, I can address the most meaningful situations with regard to what can I do for her that she cannot think of for herself. Today, maybe before today, I realized why I am the best person in the "family", to be her caregiver. Love you all, Christina xo
Linda you lucky girl getting to go meet Bobbie! That's great :) You know I'm kinda nutty and that's okay, but how about bringing your dog inside and put her in a warm tub with some Epsom salt to ease her joints then give her a s-poo :)
I've been reading all the posts and have been catching up from the Thanksgiving dinner. Today I had two old fillings removed at the Dentist and new ones put in. Our weather here is so gorgeous that I've been doing some gardening outside everyday.
Cuz, omg the jokes have been great! Thanks for posting them. And Barb, the one about the freckles/wrinkles was priceless.
Carolyn, Sorry you're having to go through those difficulties with your Mother. It's hard I know. I'm glad you unloaded a little here. I think they (parents) repeat the same things over and over because it's their way of trying to keep from forgetting. My best friend out in Cali who is old enough to be my Mother also has the beginnings of dementia seems to be obsessed with her bowels also, LOL The poor dears just don't have anything else to talk about. It's pretty sad really. I hope your back at home safe and getting a breather.
Diane, dear Diane, you've taken on so much stress and responsibility in the last few weeks it's no wonder you've got IBS and the black hole syndrome :( we are here for you. I wish I could say or do something to help you more.
Kimmy, I knew something was going on with you cause I didn't see you posting as much as usual. Sorry you're not getting much sleep. If you're getting little cat naps in during the day that's good.
It's late and I better get off to bed. Everyone just know that you and your loved ones are all in my prayers. Love you all. Chirp Chirp Cricket
All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey,
expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?"
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in the hell is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No", says the Canadian "A taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi, I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "Its okay boys. He's one of us."
The thing that we who care-give all share and understand,
If Mom thinks she's our daughter now,
Or Dad plays with his hands.
These changes in the folks we love are far beyond just sad.
They make us crazy too, it's true, they also make us mad.
Our worlds have been turned upside down, life as we knew it gone.
As are many friends and siblings - yet alone we soldier on.
It is a choice, we realize this, we could just walk away
And leave the ones who gave us life to somehow find their way.
Yet though our hearts are breaking, our minds and bodies shot,
We will not be the ones to leave those others have forgot.
We'll forge ahead, and do our best, and give love every day.
We'll tend their wounds, and clean their poop, and wipe their tears away.
For while we may feel abandoned in our choice to wage this fight,
When we look into our parent's eyes, we know our choice was right.
ssk - happy to hear from you , i do think of u often and wondering how u guys are doing . gotta stay near by so we wont worry as much .
wheres cricket ? saw her picture in facebook . my gosh she would be a blast to hang out with ! come on cricket where are u ? hope all is well there , keepin warm i bet .
son doesnt like bandit so he doesnt know what to do with him . i told himi take him back , hubby yelled noooooooo i dont want that damn dog back , my heart crack a little . son said im sorry mom , that dog barks all night and all day and his 2 other dogs doesnt care for bandit cuz he is so anoyyed , crack my heart more .
i think i ll take him to the pound and let them put him to sleep cuz i know nobody wants a hyperactive dog . chews on everything , jumps on ya , runs off wont listen when u hollar . he is just tooo much , i bet that is whythe first owner took him to the pound , now this will be his 2nd owner to take him back there . im just sad , if m hubby just let me keep him i could work with him but noooooooooo!
damn ,, sheba wouldnt get out of her dog house , her back leg just wont work , hubby put some straw in her house and said she looks bad , i said yes i wish i could bring her in the house cuz i know the cold air is hurting her hips , he said we ll see how she is tmr if she still looks bad , i could bring her in and stink the house up , shes 14 yrs old ,
anybody wants bandit ? xoxo
love,
miz
We were doing pretty good, but have had about two weeks of this nightly agitation.
Two hours and she will go to bed, yay!
When all else fails ~ hug the dog!
No one here understands this but I know you guys will. I feel better already.
Diane, sorry to hear your Mom fell! Dad had that week with three falls and I was on pins and needles! Every little noise would have me running to check on him! Try to rest as much as you can with the IBS! I know it is easier said than done! Hope James is doing much better too! XXOO
I think I am becoming very sleep deprived and can't focus on anything well at all these days! Find myself nodding off throughout the day! Oh well, it is what it is.....and so it goes!
Love and hugs to all! Check in later! Kim
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered into his grandma's face, and said, "Wrinkles."
---
"Hello".
"Mrs. Smith, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Smith, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's tests to the lab yesterday, a test from another Mr. Smith arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Smith asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Smith.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him".
Diane I am sorry you are still so depressed. Try, as much as possible, to stay positive and think that at least James is better...
Barb I am happy you are seeing beautiful places.
Linda I am happy about your vacation and your time with Bobbie.
Christina I hope you are well and recovering from the tiredness of Thanksgiving.
Sorry if I forgot someone. I woke up very early and I am sleepy...+
Great politically incorrect jokes, Cuz! The one about Italians was very cute.