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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Austin, Is it snowing there now? I miss the snow and staying inside all cozy with the wood stove burning. It always put me in the mood to read a good book and every so often glance out at the snow falling. Such a good memory :)
Christina I am so sorry for what you are going through-you know you are doing your best for your Mom-I wonder if they realize how much they are huring her-it must really hurt to know some of your kids do not care enough to visit you. I know there is nothing I can say to make it better for you. I see that in my own brothers-I do not think they would even care if our Mom had to be placed. I am glad we have our AC family.
Now that's how to Vent Christine!! Applauds! We all need to vent more to get those feelings out, it helps to get a physical release when we vent and God knows we all need that. It's the weekend and I'm getting out the Crazy Blonde today and tomorrow cause It's time for a bit of craziness on my part. No offense to my blonde friends but when I came across the crazy blonde icon I just couldn't resist the urge to keep her for my inner crazy girl's self expression. LOL love you all.
Morning girls and Cuz, I had one margarita, LindaHeart. Had to keep control of myself after taking Mother to get the cat scan. Hubby went with me and he helped. He was on the verge of tears the whole time. Very sensitive guy, lost his Mother when he was 11, so very devoted to mine. She is stiff and head cocked to left side, arms up to her chest, and rambling. Random blurting out of people, things, bits and pieces of flashes from 94 years of life. It is devastating. She would not hold still for the cat scan. The tech was patient, but said she saw the behavior with dementia and Alz. Not much works to calm her, not talking, pleading, meds, reassuring, nothing. Her head was taped down, and her arms were velcroed, and a wedge pillow under her knees, but she would not stop moving. Finally, I explained 3 times that hubby needed her to cooperate, and when I mentioned his name, she relaxed. She likes men, all men, any men, especially ones who are kind to her lately. I said the doctor needs a clear picture of her head so he can see what is causing the pain behind her eye, that we are trying to help her. She said, "I know", which was the only coherent thing she said in 2 hours. Finally, she held still long enough to get a decent image. We took her back home, grabbed some 81 mg aspirin on the way since doc says it might help prevent TIAs or a major stroke. I can't imagine at this point what can help her. I agonize over this, and maybe I need to learn how to distance myself, or protect myself from feeling everything, but I haven't managed to learn that yet in my life. After my sister's response yesterday, I emailed my brother that going to see our Mother who is so far gone, should not be deterred by a windstorm that will do nothing but mess up her hair. He told me that he liked it better when he was getting along with his relatives and couldn't I just "rise above the petty little things I let bother me". Sometimes I just want to f---ing kill myself. There is no satisfaction or reasonable discussion, or relief from this. When my Mother passes on, they will go with her out of my life. I cant take it anymore. I am going to try to spend all the money on her care and clothes, and extras, anything that will cut ties with them. She did everything for my sister in the beginning, and gave all her money to my GFN brother throughout his life, until he got out of prison. She even gave him a third of the money from the sale of my childhood piano, which no one ever touched but I. Screwed up bastard family. Well, I will continue to do the best I can for my Mother, but they can go to hell. I have had it, but will I do anything differently? God Please Help US. All. xo
Kuli - I think of my Moms funeral last month as the last hour I was "in charge" of her - making sure her last wishes were carried out as she wanted. It was bittersweet if that makes sense. I knew it was her time, I knew I'd done my best to accomplish that. I knew she would want me to be "tactful" in my dealings with her long-lost sons and threir families- and I held my tongue and did just that (although in my mind I was having the Jerry Springer throwdown by the casket). I wish you strength and peace today, and please know we are all there beside you in spirit, our hands holding yours and encircling you with our love.
Morning to all from snowy Frederick, MD. Nahla turned and ran whe she saw it coming down this morning.
I remember days when I was particularly sick, tired or overwhelmed when my caregiving for Mom was extremely mechanical/robotic. No loving how do you dos or any of that - just did what I had to do and got out. Other times I would announce I was sick or in pain or whatever, tell her it wasn't always about her, "it can't always be exclusively about you, Mom - there are other people on the planet". (But again, Mom had Alz, so it didn't really matter what I said - it was all in how I said it).
Snow is expected-I got wood in for the wood stove-hope everyone has a better day. So far when Mom is mean I just ignor her but I am not with her all the time so it is different-her mind is sharp so she knows what she is doing-I do not know why she is so angery-she has it very good-a nice appartment and people to take hher whereever she needs to go-and no money worries. SSK I am glad you got a respite of a few days.
Sskape, he is adorable. Diane, I have become a damn machine a long time ago. Kuli I hope there will be some children with you tomorrow. They would help you... Goodnight everyone. It's early morning here.
Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Today was tough, I expect tomorrow will be even tougher - the final good bye. And even though I know in my heart I did a good job, it has been so nice for so many to reaffirm that tonite. Dad looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping only better. A nice image to remember. Hugs and peace to all ~ Kuli
deflex - i sorry ure down in the dump , ur mom talkin mean to u and ure trying to keep her safe . its the damn dementia . my dad s a sweetheart and never talk mean or hateful to me , is there any way u can get a break from ur mom . few days or so ? u sure need a break , big hugs to u dear .
got the barn decorated up ready for halloween party tmr ., going to be cold but hey theres bonfire for that lalala .
ssk !! good to see you ! i was thinkin about u the other day . glad u pop in and got ya another baby u saved his life from the pound , awwww . big hugs to u , how is ur mom ?
pa didnt eat much today , lit nibble and sleep and sleep . not lookin good , :(
i best get off here and get my jamies on and head for bed , gota a long day ahead of me tmr , be so busy busy , mariesmom ! happy dancin for u too , tmr i ll realy be jammin and it all be for u :-) . woo woo hooooo . christina _ did u drink extra margaritta for me ? yummie , love frozen margaritta , ohhh my ... think tmr i ll have vodka , wwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeio howdy do do . oh excuse me im a schizoofrannic lalala , he heee hahaha , love you all sista !!! xoxox
Kuli, my heart goes out to you. The next fews days and weeks you will be on auto-pilot. Give yourself time to physically and mentally adapt to the new normal. Grief is a process and doesn't happen overnight.
Barb, I am so happy someone is getting good news around here.
I'm a mixture of emotions right now after another bedtime struggle with mom. Once she takes her Requip after dinner she get mean and antagonistic. She says some very hurtful things. It's bad enough for her to hurl these awful things at me, but when I am fighting the family so hard to do what she wants, you have to wonder, WTF! I honestly don't know why I'm here. I feel like I'm being mentally and physically tortured. I wish I could snap my fingers and disappear. I'm so tired of hurting so much all the time. I have cried enough tears to fill an ocean. I need to shut down all my emotions and just become a damn machine. I'm just so tired of struggling. I'm sorry to vent, but I have no one else but you guys;
Hi everyone and welcome Baum we will keep you sane or happlly crazy-we vent and laugh and cry and pull each other out of the black hole when needed. My husband died two years ago but stay here because of all the friends I came to know here and at times I can pass along my experience-I live in NY state. We are expecting our first snow storm tomarrow. Hope you all have a good night.
Right On - a Bichon!!! Name? Rockette is 14 but still good for a couple miles. Check my FB for yesterday's video. It was cool so she wore her faux leopard jacket. She's my endorphin - always happy! Looking forward to more photos! Congratulations!!!
Hey Rip, I have a bichon puppy, named puff. I finally got a respite , put my Mom in a nursing home for 5 days, went to San Diego with my son's dauchund, and he had gotten me a puppy, well, a bichon from a shelter, it's a yr old but acts like a puppy, (is chewing up the rug as I write). I got home a week ago, but am ready for another respite! I'll catch up on some posts now to see what's going on. ssk
Baumgart welcome Mom went thru a log spell of mean - and while she never kept her hands in her pants she did flash everyone for a while. I got her a sports bra and that helped. Maybe you could try one of those 'tummy wraps' (I'll look it up) like my daughter wore when she was pregnant - also tell her straight up if she has an 'itch' it is HOUSE RULES that she leave the room to scratch it. You have to establish who is the top dog in your home.
Happy dance for you here in Indy Barb! This is the place for us all to rant and vent! Rant away! Cool thing is that we all understand each other here! Cheers to you and your hubby! Hugs, Kim
OUR funny Linda. Philosophical. Actually, it will be margaritas tonight, after the cat scan, at the Mexican restaurant. I have regained my composure. Thank you.
Huh? What did I say, Rosella? I was saying that your posts effect my deeper thoughts and I get philosphical. Crap, now I can't even spell. whatever. This is my last post before I go get Mother. Baumgark! Welcome to the crew of a very whacked out cyber boat. ARRRGGGGH. Where's our Pirate? Well, well, hands down the pants. I thought guys did that while sitting on the sofa watching football. Playing with something. However, not my husband, ever. He does not even fart, that I know of, or burp. I have seen it. Yuck. wonder what are funny Linda will have to say about that!?!?! You girls have fun. Yes, Rip, I know it's 5 there. Oh, not it's not. haha--you're in my time zone. tra la. OK--well, let's ride that Bultaco back to Florida and pour some shots! Whoo Hoo!! BBL when I know I will need at least a glass of wine. Going to dindin with my neighbor who is moving tomorrow. Love you all, Christina, with an A
Christina! I was talking about Barb's post! The raspberries didn't come out of the blue! Come on, girl! My cousin found on Facebook the recipe of an apple pie which seems the best in the whole world. I have translated it for her in Italian, while if I send it to you I don't need to translate it. Are you interested?
You stay right here Baumqark! This thread is your new home. I lost my dear father last spring but stay with my cyber family - they KNOW! Fill out your profile for us? Saw you hit another thread with some history. Wow ...
Hey guys, I ventured out into AC land a while ago. Noticed some if not most of the threads now have "thumbs up" rather than stars. We still have stars so we must be the stars.
I'm rummy from lack of sleep. Still fighting the Fkn' bronchial thing. As my tentitive introductory post read: "You guys Rock!" SO true! That was June 2010. We've multiplied.
Tra la, tra lala, my iPhone does not want me to spell trala tra lala. Barb, I'm happy for you and hubby bear. Wheeeeeee!!!! Decorate with lights and hang your stockings on the mantle, a horn of plenty for Thanksgiving!!! Happy Happy Happy! I knew we would have a party today! Yes, very voluptuous, Barb, and cute, too. Wha aha! Leaving in 1 1/2 hours to take Mother in for cat scan. Rip: riding motorcycles today?! Hugs all around... And shots of tequila!
I wonder sometimes, now that I am focused on the subject 'end of life', if death could be at the other end of the spectrum struggle that birth is. Both seem to struggle to achieve--forget the middle--and both are traumatic from a physical point. If a baby's soul has awareness, does it struggle to NOT come in, the way an elder struggles to stay? Life is such a mystery. I look at death as 'graduation', but that is where I am now. It will be interesting to see what the perception is when one is close to 'the other side.' I have only gotten answers from people who have a faith, that it is 'going home'. Gee, I was out gardening and when I came in to get water, I read Rosella's post. She usually effects me in a deep way. Heehee. Just ignore me. Sunstroke.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I had one margarita, LindaHeart. Had to keep control of myself after taking Mother to get the cat scan. Hubby went with me and he helped. He was on the verge of tears the whole time. Very sensitive guy, lost his Mother when he was 11, so very devoted to mine. She is stiff and head cocked to left side, arms up to her chest, and rambling. Random blurting out of people, things, bits and pieces of flashes from 94 years of life. It is devastating. She would not hold still for the cat scan. The tech was patient, but said she saw the behavior with dementia and Alz. Not much works to calm her, not talking, pleading, meds, reassuring, nothing. Her head was taped down, and her arms were velcroed, and a wedge pillow under her knees, but she would not stop moving. Finally, I explained 3 times that hubby needed her to cooperate, and when I mentioned his name, she relaxed. She likes men, all men, any men, especially ones who are kind to her lately. I said the doctor needs a clear picture of her head so he can see what is causing the pain behind her eye, that we are trying to help her. She said, "I know", which was the only coherent thing she said in 2 hours. Finally, she held still long enough to get a decent image. We took her back home, grabbed some 81 mg aspirin on the way since doc says it might help prevent TIAs or a major stroke. I can't imagine at this point what can help her. I agonize over this, and maybe I need to learn how to distance myself, or protect myself from feeling everything, but I haven't managed to learn that yet in my life. After my sister's response yesterday, I emailed my brother that going to see our Mother who is so far gone, should not be deterred by a windstorm that will do nothing but mess up her hair. He told me that he liked it better when he was getting along with his relatives and couldn't I just "rise above the petty little things I let bother me". Sometimes I just want to f---ing kill myself. There is no satisfaction or reasonable discussion, or relief from this. When my Mother passes on, they will go with her out of my life. I cant take it anymore. I am going to try to spend all the money on her care and clothes, and extras, anything that will cut ties with them. She did everything for my sister in the beginning, and gave all her money to my GFN brother throughout his life, until he got out of prison. She even gave him a third of the money from the sale of my childhood piano, which no one ever touched but I. Screwed up bastard family. Well, I will continue to do the best I can for my Mother, but they can go to hell.
I have had it, but will I do anything differently? God Please Help US. All. xo
Morning to all from snowy Frederick, MD. Nahla turned and ran whe she saw it coming down this morning.
I remember days when I was particularly sick, tired or overwhelmed when my caregiving for Mom was extremely mechanical/robotic. No loving how do you dos or any of that - just did what I had to do and got out.
Other times I would announce I was sick or in pain or whatever, tell her it wasn't always about her, "it can't always be exclusively about you, Mom - there are other people on the planet". (But again, Mom had Alz, so it didn't really matter what I said - it was all in how I said it).
Diane, I have become a damn machine a long time ago.
Kuli I hope there will be some children with you tomorrow. They would help you...
Goodnight everyone. It's early morning here.
got the barn decorated up ready for halloween party tmr ., going to be cold but hey theres bonfire for that lalala .
ssk !! good to see you ! i was thinkin about u the other day . glad u pop in and got ya another baby u saved his life from the pound , awwww . big hugs to u , how is ur mom ?
pa didnt eat much today , lit nibble and sleep and sleep . not lookin good , :(
i best get off here and get my jamies on and head for bed , gota a long day ahead of me tmr , be so busy busy ,
mariesmom ! happy dancin for u too , tmr i ll realy be jammin and it all be for u :-) . woo woo hooooo .
christina _ did u drink extra margaritta for me ? yummie , love frozen margaritta , ohhh my ... think tmr i ll have vodka , wwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeio howdy do do . oh excuse me im a schizoofrannic lalala , he heee hahaha ,
love you all sista !!! xoxox
A teacher at a High School in New Orleans asks one of her brightest students to use the word "handsome" in a sentence.
The girl named Latisha says, "Sometimes when I be suckin' Leroy's Soul Pole, My jaw gets sore and I hafta use my handsome."
The quality of our educational system sometimes brings a tear to your eye! And someday, these people will vote.
Kuli, my heart goes out to you. The next fews days and weeks you will be on auto-pilot. Give yourself time to physically and mentally adapt to the new normal. Grief is a process and doesn't happen overnight.
Barb, I am so happy someone is getting good news around here.
I'm a mixture of emotions right now after another bedtime struggle with mom. Once she takes her Requip after dinner she get mean and antagonistic. She says some very hurtful things. It's bad enough for her to hurl these awful things at me, but when I am fighting the family so hard to do what she wants, you have to wonder, WTF! I honestly don't know why I'm here. I feel like I'm being mentally and physically tortured. I wish I could snap my fingers and disappear. I'm so tired of hurting so much all the time. I have cried enough tears to fill an ocean. I need to shut down all my emotions and just become a damn machine. I'm just so tired of struggling. I'm sorry to vent, but I have no one else but you guys;
Love ya,
Diane
Harper & Rocky say "Hi" Puff!
Rockette is 14 but still good for a couple miles. Check my FB for yesterday's video. It was cool so she wore her faux leopard jacket.
She's my endorphin - always happy!
Looking forward to more photos!
Congratulations!!!
Snow will be a new thing, huh?
I'll catch up on some posts now to see what's going on. ssk
Mom went thru a log spell of mean - and while she never kept her hands in her pants she did flash everyone for a while. I got her a sports bra and that helped. Maybe you could try one of those 'tummy wraps' (I'll look it up) like my daughter wore when she was pregnant - also tell her straight up if she has an 'itch' it is HOUSE RULES that she leave the room to scratch it. You have to establish who is the top dog in your home.
Thanks guys for your woo-hoos!
Baumgark! Welcome to the crew of a very whacked out cyber boat. ARRRGGGGH. Where's our Pirate? Well, well, hands down the pants. I thought guys did that while sitting on the sofa watching football. Playing with something. However, not my husband, ever. He does not even fart, that I know of, or burp.
I have seen it. Yuck. wonder what are funny Linda will have to say about that!?!?!
You girls have fun. Yes, Rip, I know it's 5 there. Oh, not it's not. haha--you're in my time zone. tra la. OK--well, let's ride that Bultaco back to Florida and pour some shots! Whoo Hoo!! BBL when I know I will need at least a glass of wine. Going to dindin with my neighbor who is moving tomorrow. Love you all, Christina, with an A
I have no words. I am staring in front of me, visualizing the scene.
Have FUN in the SUN for me! Just started pouring here.
My cousin found on Facebook the recipe of an apple pie which seems the best in the whole world. I have translated it for her in Italian, while if I send it to you I don't need to translate it. Are you interested?
Fill out your profile for us? Saw you hit another thread with some history. Wow ...
Hey guys, I ventured out into AC land a while ago. Noticed some if not most of the threads now have "thumbs up" rather than stars. We still have stars so we must be the stars.
I'm rummy from lack of sleep. Still fighting the Fkn' bronchial thing.
As my tentitive introductory post read: "You guys Rock!" SO true! That was June 2010. We've multiplied.
I need to go kick some cyber-ass.
Cheers ~
Rip&Pets
Welcome Baumgark! :)) What does she think she is doing with her hands in her pants anyway, or would you rather not talk about it? LOL
I knew we would have a party today!
Yes, very voluptuous, Barb, and cute, too. Wha aha!
Leaving in 1 1/2 hours to take Mother in for cat scan.
Rip: riding motorcycles today?! Hugs all around... And shots of tequila!
Gee, I was out gardening and when I came in to get water, I read Rosella's post. She usually effects me in a deep way. Heehee. Just ignore me. Sunstroke.