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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I will print the Knot Prayer, Cuz. Thanks for finding that. I think that's where the saying "Are you a knothead"? comes from. I think I am one:) working on it!
This one was kind of neat The Knots Prayer Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots, may nots, might nots that may find a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots, would nots and should nots that obstruct my life. And most of all, Dear God, I ask you to remove from my mind, my heart and my life all of the 'am nots' that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough. Amen
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart . The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart . 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife . 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies . 'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping . A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket . What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband . 'It's my face cream . It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife . Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price . '
I right clicked on the happy blonde on the article to the right to see if I could DELETE her - and guess what? It asked me if I wanted to blo-ck image and I said yes and it did. Ha. Today I have had a success, however small, and I shall rejoice in it.
Linda, I had missed your daughter's operation. I am sorry, I am happy she is alright. Kim, I don't know if my dogs realize that Nicky is "dead", but they are terribly sad and quiet. When we mention Nicky, Camilla (who was her friend for a lifetime) raises her head. So I have stopped saying Nicky's name in front of her. I miss my little dog and the trauma for her death will not be easy to overcome. We were so close, we lived in sort of a symbiosis and I feel I have lost a part of myself. Yesterday I told the story to my favourite cousin Franca who was shocked of course and she is calling me, sending me e-mails to know how I am, several times a day. As she is a person that hides her feelings (most of the times) behind a joke, she said that she can come to my house and move her tail and take Nicky's place. She manages to make me laugh even if I don't feel like it. Oh my, how is difficult life, I don't know how many times I said so. Forgive me, I will be blue for a very long time...
Hi everybody. Going to make this quick. I do have a sinus infection and on zpac. Dizzy, headache and nausea. Blah
Thoughts are with you Kuli. Sending many hugs and lots of love your way!
Linda, Happy to hear your daughter came through the surgery and they only had to take half of the ovary. She is going to feel much better now. You called me Kimmy in your post! I love it. All relatives on Mom's side call me Kimmy ever since I was litttle kid! Hugs to you!
Cricket, I may just move into that apartment! I think I will make it into a respite for caregivers. They can come here and hide out until they feel like going home! No more BooBoos yet! I have to be careful for sure! LOL
Miz, sorry about that little dog. I know it is cold here and the little terriors we have couldn't make it out in the cold! That is heart breaking! Our big dog Luke thinks he is a little dog, so he mostly stays in the house too! He was just a puppy when he came here , so the little dogs were like his mother! He still looks up to them as mothers, and when Mattie died in May, he grieved the most of all of them.
Jen and Christina, hope you feel better soon. Feeling sick and care giving so difficult. I feel like crawling under the covers until I feel better! I can rest some today because husband is off!
Rosella, happy to see you posting again. Glad you were able to talk to your friend on the phone! Helps so much to be able to talk with someone you feel close to when upset! Many hugs to you! We buried Mattie in the back yard. She has a Celtic cross on her grave! I still look for her. She was a happy soul and like Nicky, she never complained. Right before she passed, she wagged her tail and her legs moved as if leaping toward someone. I hope it was into my Mom's arms. Seemed as if she knew whatever or whoever it was. It was strangely comforting to me! I let the other dogs see her after she died. They filed past her bed and all knew she was gone! They are all just now getting out of their funk and personalities getting back to normal.
Barb, hope your husband gets that job soon! He will. Probably when you least expect it! You guys need a break from all the worry so you can get on with your lives and feel secure! I have become afraid of feeling too comfortable about anything, because it seems when I am almost there something else rears it's ugly head!
Diane, I read your bra joke and it is hilarious! I think I am already a size H and moving toward the German model! LOL Dad is sundowning bad and isn't wanting to eat much these days. He won't put his teeth in! AGH Hope things get better for you and Mom!
Ann, hope your Mom is doing better too! So hard when they like to get up and wander around. Our house has lots of steps here and there too! Dad will be able to use the chair in the apartment. The shower is big and the chair can be rolled in there too. The only shower in the house is up a flight of stairs and it is becoming hard for him to go up those stairs even with us supporting him. Hope your pain is better.
My new icon is Agnes our black cat. She is the one that we adopted when she was two weeks old and had to be bottle fed. She is almost five now! She is giving you all a big Meow! She likes to wear clothes because Hannah has been dressing her up since she was little! LOL Her Halloween costume this year is a duck costume. I will take a picture of her in it and put it on as my icon! LOL
Golf, glad to see you back! My energy is zapped out now! I think I will go rest for a little bit.
OK, I have a beef with the pictures on the right of the screen too! Do you see the pretty blonde smiling with the caption underneath reading " The Number One issue that Causes Caregivers to Break Down???? Why in the hell does she look so happy! Not an attractive or happy subject at all! Maybe she just finally lost it! Looks like she has a strange and wicked look in her eyes! Just saying.........
Love and hugs to all of you! I am foggy right now so forgive me if I left anyone out, but I am thinking of all of you!
Results still not in for Dad's tests! Like I posted earlier, we will probably receive them by Carrier Pigeon! He did let us give him a shower, cut hair, shave, and now he is back in bed! Will be up around 1am I am sure. Probably be ready to eat his dinner around then too! So it goes.........
Ann, the problem is that people have no money now... Chris, your brother can participate in the competition "best brother of the year". Blow his words away as if they didn't belong to you. Jen, Monty is a very lucky dog to have a mom like you. Life goes on here. A working weekend is in front of me. I shall have to leave mother with some caregiver hoping to find the money to pay her. Money money money makes the world go round, the world go round, the world go round
Cuz, loved the encouragement story. Of course I copied and pasted it as an email to my family and friends. The Ole and Sven joke was hilarious! It's on my fb wall now. You get copied and pasted more than anybody I know!.lol!
Kuli, we're all praying for you and your Dad. I would also choose to keep him comfortable or rather I would with my mom if it came to that. I pray you have strength and comfort. The hard decisions are always up to us. If our siblings were able to do the difficult stuff they would be taking care of our parent instead of us.
Mom had her staples out today. Went to the hospice Dr and the nurse took them out in just a couple of minutes. Didn't hurt a bit. Mama was so relieved. And as a plus I got to spend the morning with my youngest son since he went with us to do the wheelchair lifting for me. I seldom get to spend any alone time with him. Having mom in the car is like being alone since she is so quiet. It just made my day. I took the money my brother sent me and paid my property taxes with it. I'll have to find money to get out of the house some other way. I had to get that off my mind to find some peace. Y'all know how it is.
Barb, your husband is over qualified. He is so good and educated that potential employers are afraid he will demand too much. Isn't that a screwball way of looking at things? There was a time when being mature and educated and experienced was a big plus. Now everyone is looking for cheap labor. And they don't give a hoot in hell about quality,performance and customer service. I guess I shouldn't say everyone.....but many are like that these days. My husband is a master carpenter with 40 years experience in doing anything with wood and also commercial doors and windows etc, but a jackleg carpenter I know who under cuts everyones prices and does crappy work gets all the jobs. People don't want to pay for quality anymore. Crap they don't even know quality when they see it. They just want cheap and fast. *sigh* That's my soapbox for today!
Morning everyone, Low energy here in California-- on the surface-- but earthquakes happening and building. Dr just increased Mother's Depakote as nothing works to calm her desparation. I'll go over to give her a haircut and manicure this morning. More difficult to accomplish now with her rigidity. Brother sent me an ugly, unsolicited email last night-- said all the lessons he has learned from me were "nasty and hateful". Wow. I drove 8 hours to visit him in prison every month for a year in 2005. Worked with his po to get him relocated to Mother's county, lots of things other sister never would take the time to do. These things very hard for me to deal with. Oh well. Still not feeling very good since flu shot. No energy. Fighting my urge to crawl into a hole. Hopefully Mother will enjoy her pampering today and behave herself. Doing something nice for others is supposed to be a cure for depression. Isn't that what WE do all the time? Have a great day and weekend, all you beautiful caregivers. I'll check in while we are in training. Love you bunches, Christina xo
Thoughts are with you kuli, hope it is quick and peaceful and he is surrounded by loved ones, best way to go...
Hello everyone, from Dante's third ring of hell, Smello-vision not needed here, the stench rolled out of his room like a fog...the puddle was so big, it could have been intentional and he puts the room deodorizers by the vent like the smell is coming In or something..what ever. I clean it up, mom caught my cold, so is now sick and tired and... well... sick...
I am going to the Pawn Shop again gonna sell my dollhouse, my tongue drum (African Musical Instrument) some cd's videos game unit I never used, a picture...I need money for Monty's meds and as mom freaks over any usage of fp money I won't even bother...Anything will help. Let ya know how I do....
When Mom (89 with Alzheimers who died 5 wks ago) began to refuse anything by mouth, I too had to decide re stopping her regular meds, as they were not available in sublingual form and I did not want her to have an IV (which she surely would have torn out). I did go with a catherer (we had to tape it down, and put on a brief as well to keep her from removing it, as well as tucking her sheets in beneath the mattress), and if I had to do it over again, would have done so sooner. I am satisfied with our decision to keep her at home - but there were two of us available 24/7 as well as hospice - so this is not the right choice for everyone.
Please keep us informed, and know that we stand ready with our lit candles to sit vigil with you and your Dad. Big hugs from Frederick, Maryland.
Kuli yes these are difficult decisions to make. When it happened to my father I would have choosen to make him comfortable. My mother and my brother instead decided to treat him heavily until the end. And the result, at the end, was the same... And I am sorry for him because he had asked them to stop treating him. And my brother and my mother didn't listen to him. And by the way my father was 70 and he hadn't any AD or dementia. We were lucky anyway because the things went very fast - it was a matter of few days. To pass where you are sleeping is a great luck... I hope it happens to your father and I hope even more that he feels better and lives very well, without suffering, for some time more. Many hugs
It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking..
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'
The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.
Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!"Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I hear you can drink dat jet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?"So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How is you feelin dis mornin?"Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?"Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?"Ole says, "No dat jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often."Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"Ole stopped to think. "No ""Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Iowa
Hey cricket. My handle on the cb radio is Under Dog and the wife is Sweet Polly Purebred but I don't think she will let me put sexy in front of it. Maybe 40 years ago but not any more luvCuz
Hey, all, don't mean to rain on the fun here but just wanted to check in. Dad is very bad - sundowning every night, confused, short of breath. Hospice suggesting inpatient treatment to get meds regulated so he sleeps at night. Have to decide if it's time to withdraw some of the meds for his heart failure and just keep him comfortable. I so hoped I wouldn't have to make these kinds of decisions. Please say a prayer that he passes quickly - like in his sleep if he ever sleeps again. Been reading recent posts but haven't felt up to posting myself. Black hole, here I come. Kuli
OMG!! Tell me they don't have a link to "Better Sex in 5 Minutes"!! OMG!! AC!! NO!! You have sold out. Please stop with this stuff. Please. I'm sorry but I'm not. This site is about care giving. This is not Cosmopolitan magazine. These women and men are TIRED. Okay, I'm gonna stop now. Gonna have a smoke and check to see if that poor dog is still outside in this cold with the plastic doghouse and then off to bed. Good night, everyone.
Ok - the article says we should come up with cute names for our privates, give meaningful glances, and occassionally look at porn. Really???? Thanaks AC - this advice really helps me get through my day!
Hmmm . . .I'm too sexy for my bone, too sexy for my chow, too sexy to chase cats . . .sorry - I was channeling "sexy dog" who I visualize as a black standard poodle. Loved the joke and sent it to my sis so it will be all over the wrold by in the morning!
Christina - My beloved wonderful tall good-looking husband of almost 30 yrs (he's not perfect - he has toes like a possum and loves SciFi "B" movies) is degreed in Chemistry and Biology, but has held mid-management jobs (Plant Manager, Director,VP) last 20 yrs in print and direct mail, primarily for non-profits - our little ole co-sole proprietorship company is running a job for the U.N. now promoting condoms - we do have some work. But the margins are small, and we haven't generated enough income despite our best efforts since spring to meet our monthly obligations. And neither of us knows what the fella was thinking today! He fdoes have another "opportunity" interview on Tuesday, although we don't expect anything tocome of it - at least this one is in Baltimore just up the road. There are jobs out there for which he is qualified - and we have been steadily applying for them - but most of the applications go through a 3rd party (ADP is doing it) these days, which dimishes the chance of YOUR resume being seen. Its really starting to get to me. We seriously need some income to come in.
Ah the forgiveness thing. I believe only in movies is it ever so easy. Remember the old man and his formerly estranged family making up at the end of Home Alone?
My brothers CHOSE their estrangment from Mom and me. My older brother was never close to Mom or me anyway - he left home at 18 (I was 6)and never looked back, so I don't feel this loss so much. At the funeral he came, he scowled, he left - oh and he smarted off at my dear oldest daughter.
My younger brother is a different story. We were thick as thieves. I LOVED him. But he is a functional alcoholic with a prescription drug dependency and has been treated and institutionalized for 'mental instability' in the last 10 yrs. He is not the brother i once knew. He is the one who hijacked Moms funeral after not speaking to her at all the last 6 yrs of her life. Arrogant, narcissistic, egomaniac drunken pill gobbler. My efforts have all been rejected. I cried for yrs and one day just rolled all my feelings for him into a ball and threw them out the window. I am too old now to suffer unrequited love. Losing him will always be a tragedy of my life but their is nothing I can do to change it.
Life is short, and it is precious. The people I love have held on to me, and I to them, through all of our disageements and messes. These are the people I want in my life. These are the people who matter.
Annt - make sure you TELL THE HOSPICE DOCTOR UP FRONT the truama your Mom went through with the "mad" doctor so he will be extra, extra nice.
You guys see the ad over there on the right for better sex in 5 minutes? Sounds like my 1st husband could have wrote that. maybe that guy should have named his dog "Better Sex"?
What if we change the dogs name from Sex to Sexy, then we could call it Sexy Wiener, Sexy Terrier or Sexy Sheppard! Then their are the cartoon dogs. How does Sexy Scoobie Do, or Sexy Lassie! Sexy the cowardly dog or Sexy Underdog. Then there are the other cartoon characters... Sexy Angry Beavers, omg see how fun this could be? LOL
Hey anne--yes, the cadence of it reminds me of A&C. Too, too funny. I think the hurt we hang onto is part of the manipulation we were victims of. We must get rid of it all. Easier said, since we are sensitive. However, I do like the "heap burning coals" visual, don't you? I think if we go through the motions, even if we do not "feel it", the intent is honored. When we repeat affirmations, soon we believe it, it becomes real, and feelings have nothing to do with that. My opinion. Barb--I have been avoiding responding to the "job results", because I was so very disappointed and deflated for you and hubby. I don't get it. You must be fuming. What kind of work does your husband do? Sales? Consulting? Today, my hubby threatened his construction boss with quitting if he didn't pay him up. I woke up to that drama. Whoo Hoo! It was resolved by 3 pm. He is the same guy that is his partner in the wind energy business, which is nowhere right now, so const. boss has the edge. haha. It has been gloomy and low energy the last few days here. Supposed to be in the 80s again tomorrow. We're going to a training seminar up the coast so I'll get my fill of Rah-Rah this weekend. Joy. Talk to y'all later, Gators.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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The Knots Prayer
Dear God:
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that may find
a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all,
Dear God,
I ask you to remove from my mind,
my heart and my life all of the 'am nots'
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen
Author Known To God
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart .
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart .
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife .
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies .
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping .
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket .
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband .
'It's my face cream . It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife .
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price . '
HUSBAND DOWN!, HUSBAND DOWN!, AISLE 7
Thinking of you all. Good night.
Kim, I don't know if my dogs realize that Nicky is "dead", but they are terribly sad and quiet. When we mention Nicky, Camilla (who was her friend for a lifetime) raises her head. So I have stopped saying Nicky's name in front of her. I miss my little dog and the trauma for her death will not be easy to overcome. We were so close, we lived in sort of a symbiosis and I feel I have lost a part of myself. Yesterday I told the story to my favourite cousin Franca who was shocked of course and she is calling me, sending me e-mails to know how I am, several times a day. As she is a person that hides her feelings (most of the times) behind a joke, she said that she can come to my house and move her tail and take Nicky's place. She manages to make me laugh even if I don't feel like it. Oh my, how is difficult life, I don't know how many times I said so.
Forgive me, I will be blue for a very long time...
Thoughts are with you Kuli. Sending many hugs and lots of love your way!
Linda, Happy to hear your daughter came through the surgery and they only had to take half of the ovary. She is going to feel much better now. You called me Kimmy in your post! I love it. All relatives on Mom's side call me Kimmy ever since I was litttle kid! Hugs to you!
Cricket, I may just move into that apartment! I think I will make it into a respite for caregivers. They can come here and hide out until they feel like going home! No more BooBoos yet! I have to be careful for sure! LOL
Miz, sorry about that little dog. I know it is cold here and the little terriors we have couldn't make it out in the cold! That is heart breaking! Our big dog Luke thinks he is a little dog, so he mostly stays in the house too! He was just a puppy when he came here , so the little dogs were like his mother! He still looks up to them as mothers, and when Mattie died in May, he grieved the most of all of them.
Jen and Christina, hope you feel better soon. Feeling sick and care giving so difficult. I feel like crawling under the covers until I feel better! I can rest some today because husband is off!
Rosella, happy to see you posting again. Glad you were able to talk to your friend on the phone! Helps so much to be able to talk with someone you feel close to when upset! Many hugs to you! We buried Mattie in the back yard. She has a Celtic cross on her grave! I still look for her. She was a happy soul and like Nicky, she never complained. Right before she passed, she wagged her tail and her legs moved as if leaping toward someone. I hope it was into my Mom's arms. Seemed as if she knew whatever or whoever it was. It was strangely comforting to me! I let the other dogs see her after she died. They filed past her bed and all knew she was gone! They are all just now getting out of their funk and personalities getting back to normal.
Barb, hope your husband gets that job soon! He will. Probably when you least expect it! You guys need a break from all the worry so you can get on with your lives and feel secure! I have become afraid of feeling too comfortable about anything, because it seems when I am almost there something else rears it's ugly head!
Diane, I read your bra joke and it is hilarious! I think I am already a size H and moving toward the German model! LOL Dad is sundowning bad and isn't wanting to eat much these days. He won't put his teeth in! AGH Hope things get better for you and Mom!
Ann, hope your Mom is doing better too! So hard when they like to get up and wander around. Our house has lots of steps here and there too! Dad will be able to use the chair in the apartment. The shower is big and the chair can be rolled in there too. The only shower in the house is up a flight of stairs and it is becoming hard for him to go up those stairs even with us supporting him. Hope your pain is better.
My new icon is Agnes our black cat. She is the one that we adopted when she was two weeks old and had to be bottle fed. She is almost five now! She is giving you all a big Meow! She likes to wear clothes because Hannah has been dressing her up since she was little! LOL Her Halloween costume this year is a duck costume. I will take a picture of her in it and put it on as my icon! LOL
Golf, glad to see you back! My energy is zapped out now! I think I will go rest for a little bit.
OK, I have a beef with the pictures on the right of the screen too! Do you see the pretty blonde smiling with the caption underneath reading " The Number One issue that Causes Caregivers to Break Down???? Why in the hell does she look so happy! Not an attractive or happy subject at all! Maybe she just finally lost it! Looks like she has a strange and wicked look in her eyes! Just saying.........
Love and hugs to all of you! I am foggy right now so forgive me if I left anyone out, but I am thinking of all of you!
Results still not in for Dad's tests! Like I posted earlier, we will probably receive them by Carrier Pigeon! He did let us give him a shower, cut hair, shave, and now he is back in bed! Will be up around 1am I am sure. Probably be ready to eat his dinner around then too! So it goes.........
Chris, your brother can participate in the competition "best brother of the year". Blow his words away as if they didn't belong to you.
Jen, Monty is a very lucky dog to have a mom like you.
Life goes on here. A working weekend is in front of me. I shall have to leave mother with some caregiver hoping to find the money to pay her. Money money money makes the world go round, the world go round, the world go round
Kuli, we're all praying for you and your Dad. I would also choose to keep him comfortable or rather I would with my mom if it came to that. I pray you have strength and comfort. The hard decisions are always up to us. If our siblings were able to do the difficult stuff they would be taking care of our parent instead of us.
Mom had her staples out today. Went to the hospice Dr and the nurse took them out in just a couple of minutes. Didn't hurt a bit. Mama was so relieved. And as a plus I got to spend the morning with my youngest son since he went with us to do the wheelchair lifting for me. I seldom get to spend any alone time with him. Having mom in the car is like being alone since she is so quiet. It just made my day.
I took the money my brother sent me and paid my property taxes with it. I'll have to find money to get out of the house some other way. I had to get that off my mind to find some peace. Y'all know how it is.
Barb, your husband is over qualified. He is so good and educated that potential employers are afraid he will demand too much. Isn't that a screwball way of looking at things? There was a time when being mature and educated and experienced was a big plus. Now everyone is looking for cheap labor. And they don't give a hoot in hell about quality,performance and customer service. I guess I shouldn't say everyone.....but many are like that these days. My husband is a master carpenter with 40 years experience in doing anything with wood and also commercial doors and windows etc, but a jackleg carpenter I know who under cuts everyones prices and does crappy work gets all the jobs. People don't want to pay for quality anymore. Crap they don't even know quality when they see it. They just want cheap and fast. *sigh* That's my soapbox for today!
Low energy here in California-- on the surface-- but earthquakes happening and building. Dr just increased Mother's Depakote as nothing works to calm her desparation. I'll go over to give her a haircut and manicure this morning. More difficult to accomplish now with her rigidity. Brother sent me an ugly, unsolicited email last night-- said all the lessons he has learned from me were "nasty and hateful". Wow. I drove 8 hours to visit him in prison every month for a year in 2005. Worked with his po to get him relocated to Mother's county, lots of things other sister never would take the time to do. These things very hard for me to deal with. Oh well.
Still not feeling very good since flu shot. No energy. Fighting my urge to crawl into a hole. Hopefully Mother will enjoy her pampering today and behave herself.
Doing something nice for others is supposed to be a cure for depression. Isn't that what WE do all the time? Have a great day and weekend, all you beautiful caregivers. I'll check in while we are in training. Love you bunches, Christina xo
miz
Hello everyone, from Dante's third ring of hell, Smello-vision not needed here, the stench rolled out of his room like a fog...the puddle was so big, it could have been intentional and he puts the room deodorizers by the vent like the smell is coming In or something..what ever. I clean it up, mom caught my cold, so is now sick and tired and... well... sick...
I am going to the Pawn Shop again gonna sell my dollhouse, my tongue drum (African Musical Instrument) some cd's videos game unit I never used, a picture...I need money for Monty's meds and as mom freaks over any usage of fp money I won't even bother...Anything will help. Let ya know how I do....
Hope everyone has an un-chokey weekend...Jen
When Mom (89 with Alzheimers who died 5 wks ago) began to refuse anything by mouth, I too had to decide re stopping her regular meds, as they were not available in sublingual form and I did not want her to have an IV (which she surely would have torn out). I did go with a catherer (we had to tape it down, and put on a brief as well to keep her from removing it, as well as tucking her sheets in beneath the mattress), and if I had to do it over again, would have done so sooner. I am satisfied with our decision to keep her at home - but there were two of us available 24/7 as well as hospice - so this is not the right choice for everyone.
Please keep us informed, and know that we stand ready with our lit candles to sit vigil with you and your Dad. Big hugs from Frederick, Maryland.
Many hugs
luvCuz
Change Your Thinking
It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking..
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall..
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'
The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.
Do not keep this letter.
luvCuz
miz
Christina - My beloved wonderful tall good-looking husband of almost 30 yrs (he's not perfect - he has toes like a possum and loves SciFi "B" movies) is degreed in Chemistry and Biology, but has held mid-management jobs (Plant Manager, Director,VP) last 20 yrs in print and direct mail, primarily for non-profits - our little ole co-sole proprietorship company is running a job for the U.N. now promoting condoms - we do have some work. But the margins are small, and we haven't generated enough income despite our best efforts since spring to meet our monthly obligations. And neither of us knows what the fella was thinking today! He fdoes have another "opportunity" interview on Tuesday, although we don't expect anything tocome of it - at least this one is in Baltimore just up the road. There are jobs out there for which he is qualified - and we have been steadily applying for them - but most of the applications go through a 3rd party (ADP is doing it) these days, which dimishes the chance of YOUR resume being seen. Its really starting to get to me. We seriously need some income to come in.
Ah the forgiveness thing. I believe only in movies is it ever so easy. Remember the old man and his formerly estranged family making up at the end of Home Alone?
My brothers CHOSE their estrangment from Mom and me. My older brother was never close to Mom or me anyway - he left home at 18 (I was 6)and never looked back, so I don't feel this loss so much. At the funeral he came, he scowled, he left - oh and he smarted off at my dear oldest daughter.
My younger brother is a different story. We were thick as thieves. I LOVED him. But he is a functional alcoholic with a prescription drug dependency and has been treated and institutionalized for 'mental instability' in the last 10 yrs. He is not the brother i once knew. He is the one who hijacked Moms funeral after not speaking to her at all the last 6 yrs of her life. Arrogant, narcissistic, egomaniac drunken pill gobbler. My efforts have all been rejected. I cried for yrs and one day just rolled all my feelings for him into a ball and threw them out the window. I am too old now to suffer unrequited love. Losing him will always be a tragedy of my life but their is nothing I can do to change it.
Life is short, and it is precious. The people I love have held on to me, and I to them, through all of our disageements and messes. These are the people I want in my life. These are the people who matter.
Annt - make sure you TELL THE HOSPICE DOCTOR UP FRONT the truama your Mom went through with the "mad" doctor so he will be extra, extra nice.
You guys see the ad over there on the right for better sex in 5 minutes? Sounds like my 1st husband could have wrote that. maybe that guy should have named his dog "Better Sex"?
Have a good night all, Muah!
Barb--I have been avoiding responding to the "job results", because I was so very disappointed and deflated for you and hubby. I don't get it. You must be fuming.
What kind of work does your husband do? Sales? Consulting?
Today, my hubby threatened his construction boss with quitting if he didn't pay him up. I woke up to that drama. Whoo Hoo! It was resolved by 3 pm. He is the same guy that is his partner in the wind energy business, which is nowhere right now, so const. boss has the edge. haha.
It has been gloomy and low energy the last few days here. Supposed to be in the 80s again tomorrow. We're going to a training seminar up the coast so I'll get my fill of Rah-Rah this weekend. Joy. Talk to y'all later, Gators.