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Ann, I think I am going to forward your article to some friends of mine. A friend called last night and asked if husband and I could go out with them tonight. I told husband works weekends. She then commented that "Well somebody has to work". I guess caregiving isn't work! I don't even bother to respond to these remarks anymore, but it does amaze me that people are so clueless! Hope your back pain eases a bit! The body pain, emotional drain that we all feel is horrendous! Dad lost all ground after breaking his hip and going into rehab. Hope your sweet Mom bounces back! I wrote to the administrator of the first hospital Mom was in. He made the head nurse write a letter of apology! Nothing from Dr. Bender! Oh well.....!

Miz, hope you and your husband will go out and have a good time! You two both deserve it! Bless your hearts! Sorry about your phone.

Cricket, still hanging in there! Dad has gone back to sleeping all day! Up most of the night! Appetite is down again. Still haven't heard back about blood work or urine. Hope it doesn't take them a month again! I'm just tired! No more accidents
yet! LOL

Linda, how is your Pa?

Diane, I hope your Mom will be up to going to the fair on Monday! Sorry the Meds are making her feel bad! Happy though, that they found out she had UTI and can treat it! :) Maybe if she can get out for a little while, she will feel better emotionally! Dad won't go anywhere! He was kind of always that way. Mom was the social one! Take care!

Jen, hope you are feeling better! My daughter gets those heavy ones too! Not fun! I used to get it like that my whole life. Finally started having it every two weeks in my late fortys and they did an ablation. No more periods after that, but I do remember how awful it was! Take care!

Deef, hope your hip pain is getting better! How is RLS doing? Mine has come back with a vengeance! Tormenting! I think I need to change to a new medicine!

Rosella, enjoy that meal! Looks delicious!

Msm, you do need to grieve, the crying helps relieve all the stress that has built up inside you that comes with losing a parent. Love your pictures!

I am foggy again today! Just know, I love all of you! Have a great evening if you can! xxoo to all!
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Girls, I might read your posts but I am not going to write for a while. I hit my dog with my car tonight and I killed her. I was home, it was dark and I realized I had lost my cell phone. I thought it could have fallen from my pocket when I fed the stray cats. So I decided to take the car to try to find the cell phone. I had not realized that Nicky was in the garden, I thought she was in the house. I took the car and I didn't see anything, I hit something and I thought I had hitten a stone. So I went to look for the cell phone. When I came back home I found Nicky on the alley, dead. I am shocked now and I have not well realized yet. After the accident she had with the dogs, she had become very clingy and she didn't leave me a second. She was always walking between my feet. She was in the garden when I took the car. I didn't see her. When she saw me take the car she wanted to come after me and she was hit by my car. So I killed the living being who loved me most in the world. We have been together for 13 years and she literally lived for me. . I wanted to tell you because you have been so wonderful when she was in the hospital and you prayed for her. I know that you will be very sorry. So forgive me if I disappear for a while. I will probably read your posts.
I love you all
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Miz, I had one of those moments last night that reminded me to county my blessings. It was a 20/20 show about some children they followed for a year and a half that lived on an indian reservation in South Dakota. I;m thankful for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, my clothes (though tight), my car even my miserable family. These kids have nothing. Their homes are falling apart, their parents are alcoholics, their schools are falling apart. One 11 year old girl tried to hang herself. I know I am still down in the dumps, but my basic needs are being met. I'm only suffering from rejection. slander and exhaustion.

It is a gorgeous day here in South Carolina. I can imagine the kids are having a wonderful time at the State Fair. Maybe if mom feels better we can go Monday afternoon. Today she has stayed in bed all day. I think the antibiotics are kicking her in the butt.

I hope everyone's charges are feeling better today. Ann, I'm sorry your mom is not springing back after the fall and the ER trauma. When they lose ground, no matter how briefly, its hard to regain again. I did read your article and in fact forwarded it to all the family members that don't talk to me. I thought if they still had a heart somewhere they may have some compassion....Wasted effort thought, no response from them.

I want to say thank you to each of you for being here to offer support, advice and comfort. You mean the world to me.

Love ya,
Diane
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Ann, your poor mom. That crappy doctor!! I'm so sorry about your back. Do you have any pain pills for it??

My cell phone fell in the sink at work yesterday when I was washing my hands and so now it's not working. Just pretty multicolor snow on the screen. I've been wanting a new one for awhile now because after I answered it in the shower at my in-laws the battery loses power too quickly. Hubby and I are going to do some research probably today and try to find a deal so we can both get one. He has one where you buy the minutes. Wow, our problems are so minor compared to so many of you all. I guess I need to thank God for my blessings and I do. Love You All.

miz
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Oh Miz, good for you. Go have some fun with your hubby. You definitely deserve it.

Cuz, as I do so often, I stole your nutz joke and posted it on my fb page. You know I actually had a squirrel hide his nuts in my house one time. I was finding acorns and almonds(I had a bag on my kitchen counter) in places like closet corners and even my sock drawer!! We finally found the hole in the eaves that he was using as his front door and we closed it up. Poor guy! He must have been real disappointed when he came back for dinner that first time. It was freakin my grandson out. He was afraid to spend the night cause he thought the squirrel would get on him during the night. Poor little guy! So we would throw the nuts out in the yard. Maybe he found them again. I learned to put my almonds in tupperware after that.

Hope all your moms and dads are doing ok this morning. After mama's injury and the resulting bad experience at the ER, she has regressed quite a bit. She can hardly walk now. Her voice is weak and tiny and she doesn't joke around like she was doing. I hope it's not permanent.

My back is really bad right now. It's getting so much harder to pick her up. Her bed is not low enough for her to do anything but sit on the edge, so I have to lift her up to get her in the middle and she can't get off the sofa without my pulling her up......so back ache. Just supporting her when she walks is hurting my back and arms....*sigh* Wish I had started this in better physical shape. Should have been doing weight training all along. My laziness is biting me in the arse now.
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That's cute, cuz. :) I'll probably be next to go.

Well, Mom's house closed yesterday after some minor drama. It's the end of an era. I don't imagine I will hear from my sister again. My sister-in-law, however, feels blessed to have me in her life. The good thing is that hubby and I can breathe a little bit and get out and do some things. I so need that.

My weight is coming off slowly. I hope I can continue with my diet. Gotta fit in my clothes. :)

I hope everyone is doing okay. I know it's difficult...believe me I know. Love you all.

love,
miz
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The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a cold winter ... must be true cuz the squirrels are gathering NUTS & 3 of my friends have disappeared.


Are you OK?
I'll probably go missing next.
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I just caught one episode the other night of SVU and they were talking about Stabler being dead and now Benson has a new partner. Wish I had seen the final show of last season. They didn't say how it happened.

Barb, sometimes the viseral gut wrenching sobs are what cleanses us of the most pain. You have to go through the steps of grieving to move on. I did that when I got divorced. I howled and rolled off the bed onto the floor hugging my belly like my guts were going to pour out. Later, I felt stronger and did what I had to do. You don't expect to really go thru all the steps of grieving but you usually do. Whether it's death or divorce. And it does take years to fully recover. It's a long process that seems to take baby steps to get there. I'm glad you were able to take care of all the business and make things easier for yourself.

I'm bushed tonight. I'll check back in tomorrow. Nite y'all.
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Hey Y'all,

Just stopped in to say hello. Same old same old here. Had a busy week at work and need to work 1/2 day tomorrow. Might try turn in early tonight.

Have a good night and I'll chat more tomorrow.

Love ya,
Diane
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Hi everyone, I got outta the house this morning and went to breakfast with the hubby. I talked like crazy and it was good. Almost caught up with laundry, finally. Just have to fold all the sheets (the part i hate). Then off to the grocery store again. I'll probably hemhaw and lolligag around the store for awhile like usual to get away again. Dad is doing pretty good this whole week. His spirits are up and that makes things easier on me. Linda sorry your Pa isn't feeling to good. Tell me about the "gel bed", what is it?
Austin, it's nice to meet you. We might have met before when I first posted here but I don't remember. probably early AD on my part. It seems like the more I'm around the older ones with it I pick up some of their patterns.. I hope it's not AD.
Linda, Bobo, where are you and how's your day going with your Dad?
Cuz, that prayer was precious.
Deef, Diane, Jsom, Anne, Christine, SS, Bobbie, Mary, I hope you are all hanging in there. XXXXXOOOOO
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Msm, please allow yourself to grieve and be kind to yourself.

love,
miz
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Closing on Mom's house today. Feeling sad and tired. This has me thinking a lot about Mom & Dad. I sure miss them. Feel like an orphan. Feelin' bad. Msm & Bobbie, I know you know what mean. I don't have to go to the closing so that's good. Austin, I haven't found a new job yet. I'm still working part time. I hope something comes along soon. We need another full time income badly. Well sorry for the sad stuff. Everyone hang in there. We need you here. Love Yous.

miz
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austin - great to see you again . i like loose shawls , those tight ones just too tough and rough , that is so nice to make them for elders innursing home . i know if i go outside without my scarf i freeze ! sometimes begin in the house im nippy i put the scarf around my neck and it sure does keep me warm ,
hope everybody is good today .
pa s lit whiney , says he dont feel good , breaks my heart ... the bath lady will be here in a bout an hr , the company is suppose to bring the gel matress out today . so far i havent seen them yet . gosh waited all week for that .
you all have a good friday and will be meowing at ya later . got house work to do barf barf .. xoxo
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Hi everyone I am still behind reading post Deefer our little Wed group are making 285 shawls for a nursing home at first others said mine were too loose-now others want to learn how I do it that way-they like it-I do about 2 aweek and have started asking for free yarn. Miz it sounds like you got a job that is great-hope you all have a good day and that your burdens are lighter today.
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FYI Mom's death certificate listed causes of death as
a. Heart failure due to chronic hypertensive disease
b. Dementia
c. Alzheimer's Disease
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Evening all. I think I'm caught up on everyone except bobbie - is bobbie still cleaning the house?

The trip down with daughter was good. Family great.

On Tuesday first thing I went to probate court, and was told by the same person (heavy accent) I had spoken with on the phone that I needed an appointment.

I told him "No. I called ahead last week. You said no appointment. You said I could get my business done in a day. I drove 800 miles to be here this morning and I need the paperwork to release my Moms funds to pay her final expenses" I told him.

He got his supervisor (who was not very bright), and then she got the Judge to send me away. This is when I started dropping names of all the Judges I knew (I worked in the courts for 10 yrs there). So I lucked out because I knew people and this Judge liked to gossip . . .

So after 3 1/2 hrs, I walked away with a "Common Form" rather than a "Solemn Form" to Probate Will. Simply stated this gives me authority to do stuff - and other heirs (my brothers) have 4 yrs to contest what I've done. With the usual "Solemn form", even though I am the Executor, the other heirs have to agree in writing sworn before a notary, that I am the Executor before I could do anything!

Check your documents now! If your parent is willing and competent look into having any funds made "payable on death" to you. If they want you to have the house, the car, anything of real value look into it now - arrange for it now or prepare for possible legal headaches.

Now this is GA law, and may not be true elsewhere - but I convinced the Judge (truthfully) that my brothers and i were estranged, and they might not sign. So, I was able to go to the bank where Mom had the funds in her name alone, and after an hour of paperwork get these funds, and then I went to where I hold the "big money" together with my brothers, deposited it, and then had my 1/3 wired directly to my bank. Now if crazy brother cleans out the account he will not get my share - so I am happy about that.

Of course that leaves the house still in question. I wrote my brothers 12 days ago and asked for their decision about the house. I have yet to hear anything. So as they have not rsponded - there is nothing I can do but wait - and I am not in any hurry. I figure they will eventually respond as they want their share of Moms money, and it would require them going to Georgia to get it - and I can't see that happening since they don't have checks or a bank card or anything. So this is where I have left it. If husband and I decide - and we will make a decision before the end of the month - that we are going to live in the house, we should be good for at least a year there, and a year is a long time.
----
I was handling everything fine emotionally until my last stop of the day to take new flowers for the winter out to Mom and Dad's grave. But once there I lost it. I believe if daughter hadn't been with me I'd still be there crying and wailing like a sick dog. It was visceral.
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Mr GOD - One of the Sweetest Prayers I've ever heard...

I'm sorry for keepin' ya up late.
But, I wanna know
If'n you're too busy, I can wait.
You see grandpa's been forgettin'
A lot of things. Mamma says so.
He forgot my name, today, Mr. God,
And he's a walkin' kinda slow.
Yesterday, he jest left
Without even sayin' bye.
Daddy brought him back and
He had a tear in his eye.
So, I was wonderin', can you fix him?
He has somthun' called 'all tizers', daddy said.
He forgets who we are sometimes,
And he forgot that grandma's dead.
Mr. God, you give him a new brememberer
'Cause I miss him playin', and stuff, with me.
He used to talk 'bout you a lot.
Now, he jest talks to himself and,
Mr. God, he don't know himself
From the pictures on the shelf.
Sometimes, he calls me 'little boy'
And pats my cheek or hair.
And he don't seem to care.
Please, Mr. God,
Will ya fix him, all new again,
A'fore he gets lost and
Can't bremember where he's been?
He ain't sang a Jesus song
Like I like to hear him to do.
Daddy says 'cause he is getting old.
But, he's not as old as you.
Daddy says you never forget and
You are older than anyone, anywhere.
Mamma says, "All we can do is
Bremember him in prayer.
So, Mr. God, I'm jest askin'
'Cause I don't know how to pray.
'Cause you un'erstand what I try to say.
Does Jesus have a grandpa
And does he forget people, too?
I guess he would be your daddy
And wouldn't he be older than you?
Well, I gotta go to bed.
Would ya keep grandpa safe, O please,
So as he won't wander off and get lost?
He forgets his hat and coat,
and he could freeze.
I love him lots and
I wish he bremember I'm his little Andy
And even share my candy.
Tell my friend, Jesus, I was here and
Give Him a hug from grandpa and me.
He used to know Him and I heard him say,
"Thank you, Jesus, for little Andy."
Good night, Mr. God. Are ya tired?
You work, so hard, all day.
I'll be back a'morrow, to visit,
Before I go out to play.

XOXOXO
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Duct tape and superglue! Nothing like them in the world! Thought about duct taping Dad's weenis to the cup! LOL Joking too! We do have to be really creative at times though! All of our minds churning all the time! Gonna try to take a nap now! TTYL
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Linda, what about duct tape? duct tape the urinal to his wee wee? ouch, jk. however when there is no answer to something, i think...duct tape.

It gets dust bunnies to...
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Linda, good luck with the urine sample! xxoo
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Hey Y'all,

Welcome home Barb. It sounds like we are all dragging today. Linda I understand when you say the body is asleep by the mind is racing. Between stress and being up with mom I've had about 6 hours sleep in 3 nights. I lay in the bed just thinking. I even took 1 and only 1 xanax and I still couldn't turn the brain off.
Jen, you are probably in the dreaded "peri-menopause" that can last as long as 12 years. I finally had my uterus removed but I still have my ovaries. I have hot flashes and night sweats. Oh the joys. The doc won't put me on hormones because I have a genetic predisposition to blood clots. Luckily I haven't had any blood clots that I know of.
They killed Stabler? Someone has to fill me in. I'm hooked on Castle and Body of Proof. Thats to add to my favorite of Grey's Anatomy. Looking at the previews I say they are going to kill off the little girl Meredith and McDreamy were going to adopt. Drama....at least its ok on TV :)

Ann, I received you email but I have not had a chance to read it yet. Mom is sitting out on the front porch enjoying the breeze, so maybe I'll get to read it now.

I had a text from Bobbie this morning and she said she is getting through a lot of the stuff there.

Dust bunnies...I have a whole family and they are multiplying quickly. Don't look behind the door...Yikes! I can't be everywhere and get everything done to perfection.

I know I haven't acknowledged each and everyone of you, but please know you are all in my thoughts every day. Y'all are what pulls me through each day. I hope you have a nice afternoon and I'll try check back later.

Love ya,
Diane
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nurse s office called n said they got dad urine samples and need to get another one done cuz it has been contaimenated ! what the hell !
so tmr mornin i gotta be sure he is clean realy good . gosh !!! hope i can get the samples before it all goes in diapers . wish me luck ...
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Welcome back Msm. Happy to hear you got back safely!

Linda, when I breathe the bunnies in I get a buzz! :) Maybe that wasn't a wolf spider I saw a while back! Probably dust bunny! LOL

Dad's urine just got off to doc's office with husband! What an ordeal just to get it in the container! Finally success! Husband off today and tomorrow! Yay! Muscles sore all over! Think it is from this rainy cold weather! I am gonna try and take a nap later if I can get comfy! Probably not, but my brain is tired! Wish body would cooperate! Love you guys
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mariesmom ! welcome home . wooo glad to hear u made it without a pblm . yes atlanta is a nightmare . cant believe theres so many people out there , i cry everytime i have to drive thru there . always made sure that ifi have to drive thur there it be 3 am ! but if dad s with me i always have to do it during rush hr cuz he wont let me drive all night . hotel linda !!! suxs ! its even worst when people are on spring break . all goin to fla or all leavin fla . oh gosh ! found out the bypass 275 its even worst . WRECKS ....
anyways glad ure home safe n sound .

dust bunnies :) theyre all over here . i breath in em . wooo .
took a nap my mind was awake , thinkin too much but my body was asleep . i looked to see whattime it is uh one hr later gosh ! so i flip over to otherside ohh yeah minds starting to doze off . waa waaaa hearin pa . sniff wimperin i did , got up to feed him . now whats for supper ? xoxo
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I have found that dust bunnies make incredible pets! I am becoming very attached to mine! LOL
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Hello mateys. I'm back from my 2nd RT to Georgia/Alabama to do Moms probate and such. Made the trip home solo after dropping lovely daughter at Atlanta airport. It was the worst drive EVER with traffic, rain, and darkness and was oh so haopy when hubby met me t door with a Tylenol PM and a large glass of wine.

Probate is ridiculous bureaucracy. I have learned much to share. Will write more when I get caught up with my biz and all of you. Kisses and hugs from someone who very much values the friendships I have here.
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I figured out that you can keep the mammograms from hurting so much if you press your body into the machine, so lean into them and ask the tech to show you how. It makes a huge difference.

I havn't been able to watch the newer SVU's so I'm curious.. how did they kill off Stabler? I hope they let him finally kill one of the bad guys, yay! LOL
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good noon u all !
rainin outside and cant go play outside either .
nurse came ck pa out says he s a good .
trying to clean my house , yikes
never ending job ....
cuz i love that lit boy s joke .
jen ! good to see u . bleeding yikes ! i havent had em for like good 5 or 6 yrs , such a pleasure , when is the last time u had a pap ? maybe it shall be time for u to have a ck up and yes of course FP CAN PAY FOR IT , i had my pap last week and havent heard anything , i guess its all good . ill see my doc next mondayi think ... weds i have to go get a mamogram , damn it hurts ! smash ur boobies flat , what the hell ....
shit i spelled bobbie instead of boobies and caught it and fixed it :-)
where is bobbie lou ? i know ure busy and worn out . type in hey folks i be happy with that . knowing ure good .
alrighty i best get back to my slavery day , kinda wanna take a nap . good rainin day is so good to sleep ...
miz- ure so lucky that ur hubby walks with you . i cant even get mine to take a walk . he cripes i stand on my feet all damn day now u want me go for a walk ! are u outta ur mind !!! oh ok fine i ll walk with the dogs . yep men just dont see a foresights on anything . they say that a woman can do 5 things at the same time while men can only do one thing at a time - aww poor babies ,
annt i am so happy to hear ur hubby s perkin up and helping you out tons . give him a hug for me .
later gators xoxoxo
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They killed off Stabler??!!
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Good morning....
Cricket...the house will be there when you're ready for it I promise you. Of course, the dust bunnies will multiply and there's a danger they will eat your pet food, but that's the pooch's problem right? Let him fight them off. Yes.....the glamorous life!

Jen....what blood? Did I miss something or have you stabbed FP? Hope it's not you. I remember the bad ole days when I had to wear pampers to bed to protect my mattress. A hysterectomy at 30 took care of that problem. Now a days they would just remove the fibroids not the part they grew in. My Dr wanted to remove my ovaries too even tho there was nothing wrong with them....said I wouldn't need them. I told him he better not even touch them!! Sometimes male Drs just suck! Of course we're talking 30 yrs ago. I think they've gotten a little more sensitivity training now.

I love Criminal Minds too. And all the Law and Order episodes. I hate it that Stabler was killed off on SVU. Guess they had done all they could with that 'almost romance' between him and Benson.

Love the jokes Cuz. And thanks for the kind words. You know I went to that paper's blog and it seems they want a comment on the article on breast cancer first. Oh well, maybe we could comment on the breast cancer then mention the caregiving info and tell a little of our experiences. I would love for them and anyone else logging on to that blog to know some of the stories here.

Linda...good morning..I hope..how's Pa today?
Kuli? Y'all doing alright today?
54j...still praying for you. Are you taking care of yourself? Resting? Eating? I know these are stupid questions in the circumstances cause you're probably not able to do any of these things. You're in our thoughts daily.

Hey Miz....walking with your hubby...nice. I love that.
Kim, you are right. Men do think differently and I'm trying now to cut him a little slack. He's been sooooo good with mama. He let's me sleep later in the morning knowing that I'm up so much at night. When I get up he has already given mom her coffee and a glass of ice water and something like a coffee cake or donut to eat. He's really helping out a lot more now. His meds are working and he is working some too. So I should just shut up and enjoy it. I mean really....how needy can I get???

I have a string of people who want to go staple that Drs johnson to his belly button. Thank you Cricket for your husband's input. I was afraid to put his name on FB but I messaged a few people and told them to avoid him like the plague. Mama asked me last night if when she went back to get staples removed would she have to see him. I said not just no...but HELL NO! She is sore all over today. that's to be expected. I'm sore too and I didn't fall. Stress I guess.

Gotta go now. TTYL
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