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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Trash day!!! Looks like I missed the party last night! Was on the phone with Rip, then had to get a few things done, then bed. Had two bad nights for sleeping. RLS reared it's ugly head and had me up and pacing last night and the night before. My whole body was jumping the first night. Hardly slept at all, and last night was much the same. Took my Requip, it just didn't kick in for a couple hours. Hate it when that happens, especially when I have to get up to roll Mom on her side around 7AM. Can't remember the last time I slept in. Oh yeah! That was when I was in Seattle with Rip!!! Wish I was there right now. Going back someday, but will probably have my husband in tow the next time. Jen, I will definitely be coming to see you, for sure!!! AnnT, Way to go!!! I have a sister that doesn't visit anymore unless she comes with my baby brother. I used to leave her with Mom whenever she came, and that didn't go over so well! Even though she is only 50 minutes away, she only visits 3 or 4 times a year now. My youngest brother is the only one that finds time to visit and he's Mr. MOm to a 9 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. Wife is a big shot lawyer for the Hartford Insurance Co. He was only 5 when my dad had his 1st heart attack and 13 when he died. He's now 43. Kim, maybe we could get together and whip through our house cleaning! I used to be so good at it, now I just don't care. Kuli, How are you doing? Cricket, Sounds like you have your hands full! I like the corner idea and actually it is quite fitting as we are all located in different corners of the country! Linda and Kim, are in the middle, so we could always show up at their place. You know, "meet in the middle"! Got to finish putting the trash out and fill Mom's pill holder for the week. Have a good day everyone!
That was beautiful Cuz. thanks. Jen, I liked that about pulling the black hole inside out. I'd like to reach in and grab it by the a$$hole and pull it through it's throat. Then it would look like a cone and I'd dump a gallon of ice cream in it and eat it. Let's all go to the corner. By the time we all get there we'll form a cube. Fill our cube up with Margaritas and party hardy.
I got this on the computer today and thought you might like this. I couldn't copy it so I will type the whole thing out. If I misspell something sorry.
From Ireland With Love If one day you feel like crying... Call me. I don't promise you that... I will make you laugh But I can cry with you.
If one day you want to run away - Don't be afraid to call me I don't promise to ask you to stop, But I can run with you.
If one day you don't want to listen to anybody; I promise to be very quite. But... If one day there is no answer... Come fast to see me... Perhaps I need you...
I believe that without a friend you are missing out on a lot!!! Don't be confused by friends and acquantances, there is a difference! Because I care about you, It's national care week... and you get to send messages to all your friends telling them that you care about them and make them feel good about themselves and if they write back... (just once) then that means that they care about you too. Have a nice day, and Im glad we are Friends!!! LovCuz
yep it was lighting pretty bad and good ole hard rain . thats wonderful . i always tell em to fill up my well plz . well we are looking at this screen . mm it looks like a white hole to me . rip = i think i would reconize u a mile away :-) of course harper s gotta be by ur side . she be a big help wont she ? hug her for me ... jsomebody - the corner is over here :-) come on down ...
jsomebody-rip- you guys shall meet half way somewhere on a train station ? si there a train that goes from and to ? hear cailf has a fastest train ride . bottom of calif and to top of calif in couple hrs ugh ?
where s that corner at ? ill be there in a flash :) jsomebody- thats what keeps me going , i always tell myself well it could be worst . the black hole is always a waiting and theres a white hole i keep lookin for that white hole . where is it ? wheres that corner at ? lol ````
You have been in my corner for years, Jen! How do we combine corners? Create a block where we could all breathe & feel a few moments of calm ... perhaps a day or more?
Sorry everyone is having such a hard time, mine is about average. I think I have literally not spoken to him in a month even thought I have to see him almost daily...and I like it that way...Still waitin' to see what the upping of Dilantin does. mom decided to cancel the bus for Adult Day Health and drive him there and back a money issue save 4 25 a month and it is only ten minutes there and she is home now so no biggie...but it will mean i have to sit in the car with him every Tuesday before going shopping...I think I'll survive... Could be worse could be better but not as stressful as others I have been reading, circle the black hole, go in, grab it by the throat, pull it inside out and Take it with you ! That hole hasn't got a clue who it is messing with !!! have a decent week everyone Take care. Jen
Linda, hope Pa will be ok. My mom just finished meds for UTI. She's feeling better. For some reason tho her right leg is not working right. After a few steps it starts wobbling and wanting to buckle on her. Nurse should be by tomorrow. I'll talk to her about it. Maybe Pa will be better tomorrow.
we love u annt cuz ure speical !!! wooo wooo so glad u grab ur bags and ran out lalalala . keep on smiling . when my hubby had a heart attack , u would not believe few guys came and gave me firewood and help me load it up in the house , some gave me money and told me go buy something with it . i felt like a poor ole girl but then u know what it shows me what a good friends i have ! and i remmy to owe it to them when theyre down ! what goes around comes back around . woooo , isnt life great . pa s not good , he ate his food but did not drink . mmm im thinkin his uti has came back , i shall get a sample of it and take it to the lab tmr if i can . he worries me . show is comin on soon . meow at ya all later xoxox
Thank you all so much for your encouragement. It's amazing how much we all have in common and most have never met. It's nice to feel that others understand and have been, or are now, where you are. I feel I can say anything to you all and you will understand and support me. That means so much to me. I have many other friends, but only a few who have been in my shoes and know how much these dang shoes hurt your feet.
I took all your advice from a while back....My sil txtd me this morning to see if they could come see mom around 10am. It was 9:30 and I was in my pjs but I said ok. In twenty minutes I was all showered, make up and a dress on and out the door to the meeting. What y'all told me to do worked. I grabbed my bag and took off. Not spending hours entertaining them today while they supposedly are spending time with mama. I left hubby here with them. I saw a lot of friends, hugged a lot, talked till I was blue in the face and then went to lunch with my son and family. Dil was very nice to me for a change. It was like,.....WOW! what happened? and Linda you told me...my prayers were answered. Sometimes you get your head so far down the black hole that you can't see the answer right in front of you. It's funny how many times I've told others to pray and expect an answer, and then I forget to tell myself.
I realize something else too, that I'm much to proud. As several of you said, I should be willing to let others help me when I need it. That takes humility. I must work on that instead of humiliation. Who do I think I am? Am I too good to let someone help me? Just because I used to wear a suit and now I don't I should now feel like nothing? Did the suit make me? NO! I was just wearing the darned suit! The clothes are not the self esteem, they are not the confidence or strength. I can be that in sweatpants and let my friends help me out from time to time and be mighty grateful for it. My husband's illness may change for the better just like it changed for the worse. His illness is not Him. It's disease, just like dementia or cancer or ALZ. Why can I have infinite patience with mama and not with him? I depended on him too much after I quit working and now I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. But I can figure this out. If I get a job I will find someone to stay with mom. He won't stay in the house with someone else here so he will get out and do something. Like maybe work.lol! If he goes back to work things will be fine. I just gotta keep my head on my shoulders and not up my butt. Thanks again y'all for helping reason all this out.
Thanks for the jokes and the love and support. I hope you all have a good night's sleep tonight and a great day tomorrow. Hello to all..the oldsters, the newbies, the just stopped byers and the I've come homers. What a great bunch you all are!
Anniegirl, hope everything is going ok with you. My daughter does traditional Irish dance and hopes to make it to Ireland one day to dance in the worlds.
Rossella, you are right. We have to make time for ourselves or we won't make it. That is a wonderful idea. Sorry to hear you are depressed too! I think at some level they can sense when we are at our lowest. Dad is all showered and clean for now. Probably won't last long! :( We can hope! Love to you :)
Oh, still standing, glad you are here! Nice to see you back! I forgot to tell you all this. We have a piney squirrel somewhere in the house.Dad said he saw a mouse, but it is a little squirrel! We have had them before, and I usually open a window or door and let it out. This one is hiding. I will have o go to the feed and seed tomorrow and rent a live catch trap. Just need it out of here! We had one in here once and it was sitting on a wreath right above Dad's recliner! I walked right passes it, but Hannah spotted it! It was so still and quiet. Looked like it was part of the wreath. We have to find out where they are coming in. My daughter has a picture of when some came in before. TThis guy came out and was supposed to catch and relocate them plus patch the holes. Evidently, he didn't do a good job cause they came back and one is in the house again! Never a dull stressless moment! Got to go Dad has wet his pants again. Husband and I are going to take him up to the shower! Geez Louise!
Ann, Diane, Deef, Kim, and I address to the ones who seem more depressed lately... I am depressed, too! Let's say and hope that we are feeling the change of season, and when it will be done and we'll be steadily in fall-winter we shall resurface to the ground. I am always surprised to see that when we are crawling on the floor, they (our mothers/fathers, your husbands, all the people who stress us) don't stagger and they piss us off (pardon me) with the same strength and perseverance! Why don't they take a break in exhausting us? No, they don't! And on top of it, it seems many of us are struggling with financial issues, which doesn't help to keep the peace of mind! When we feel we are at the lowest level, let's go away for a little time! Let's do something pleasaent! Even one or two hours can make a big difference. Annt, isn't there a chance that you find a job, earn a good money and you can hire a help for your mother? So that you musn't rely on your husband. I had a bit of luck, anyway. The lady who kept my mother this summer, when my usual helpers were on vacation, has 2 young daughters (one is 11, the other one just 5) who are two very nice children. My mother likes them (myracle!) so that I often take both of them with me and my mother when we go shopping or eating an ice cream, and they make us much happier. They are that kind of children that are always happy whatever they do, they are happy even if you just take them to the supermarket! They sing in the car... they laugh... That kind of children that practically doesn't exist anymore!
Hi everybody. I am writing from inside the hole so you will probably hear an echo. Ann, don't feel bad at all when people help you. I have a feeling you have helped many people in your life already and all your kindness is coming back to you! These people love you! You will get the chance to do the same for them one day. As far as the pain Meds go, you do what you have to do to be able to deal with the pain and everything else that is going on. If your body hurts, you can't deal with all the other demands put upon you! You are not a thief by any means. You are a beautiful strong lady who deserves the best! Right now you are being pulled in so many directions, it is hard to know which way to go! Be easy on yourself. Miz, I think the routine will get easier for you. Hard to get back into the work force I think especially after care giving. We have become conditioned to watching, listening, lifting, changing diapers, showering.....Hard to get out of that mode even after our parents have passed on. Just plain hard then to deal with the public and deal with their needs when we are screaming for our own needs to be met. Probably just want to tell them to shut up sometimes! "Can't you see the he'll I've just been through". Have to bite your tongue though. You are going to do great! Diane, sorry you missed church. Hope your brother's visit didn't cause too much stress for you. Feel even better about yourself when they come around, because you are the caregiver. They are merely visitors trying somehow to purge their guilt! You know the truth, feel good about it in front of them. Deef, my house is a disaster too. Dad is like a tornado! We need to do so much around here and yet find ourselves working on this apartment for Dad. I am just overwhelmed. My husband is a great help when he is home, but he works 12 hour night shift, so mostly I am here alone. My daughter helps a lot, but I try to leave her out of this as much as possible. Looking out into the woods helps me feel more relaxed and somehow allows me to think more clearly. It is a miracle anymore when I have clear head. I always feel like I am in a fog.
Linda, hope your pain is better! Hope your Pa feels better today! Glad you were able to enjoy the engine show. Today is so gloomy and cold. Ugh I love your posts. Gave husband and daughter the aging quiz. They both flunked! So did I! LOL If the dogs and cats could talk, they would probably pass! :)
Rossella, I did take your advice and did something I wanted to do. Went to a flea market. I love flea markets. So many different people from everywhere! It did me good. Thursday, I treated myself to a drive in the country! The colors are pretty this time of year. I felt renewed if only for a little bit, but you are right it does a body good. I am glad I didn't have my lighter out at the flea market though, because one vendor had Nazi flags out and I felt like burning them! I passed that booth quickly! Kept my urge to myself!
Jen, hope you are doing as well as possible. Couldn't help but laugh at what happened with the neighbor. Sounds like something that would happen to me! I'm notorious for walking into the Men's restroom! Hope the Meds won't make fp too dizzy and unstable. Yeah, I have an uncle that I can't bear to be around. He is in Florida. Dad's brother. He used to say inappropriate things to me and pinch me on the butt! Ugh Makes the hair raise on my arms just thinking about him!
Cricket, how goes it. Thanks for the hugs! I do think our Dads are alike. Stubborn to the bone. Can't see the forest for the trees! Saw the picture of one of your dogs and Dad. Priceless!!
Lilli, I have a list about things we can do for sun downing. Later this evening I am going to post the suggestions they gave us. Hope you have a tolerable day.
Bobbi, hope you are able to get everything done and get out of there! So hard to go through all of their stuff. There is just so much of it. Overwhelming to say the least! The memories associated with it all is the hardest I think, but it will be behind you soon!
Kuili, thanks for the good thoughts! Hope your Dad is feeling better. We found out when we had to go to the docs office and pick up Dad's chest X-ray that he has mild congestive heart failure. They didn't even tell us about it when he was in rehab. He does cough a lot and he is on a diuretic.
Dad hasn't been feeling good at all! He peed his pants three times the other night and this morning had peed his bed and pooped in it. He isn't wanting to eat much at all. Has a small scrape above his eyebrow. Don't know where that came from. I noticed it yesterday! He just wants to sleep! Seems more unsteady. We are going to call and see if we can get his doc appointment moved up. It was supposed to be this Thursday, but I think we need to get him in now. It is scaring me! I hope I haven't forgotten anyone. I know there is someone that came back to the thread! My memory! Sorry. Hugs to you. Cuz, keep jokes coming! Love to Austin and Rip, Msm keep us posted! I love each and every one of you! Talk later and try to talk to everyone! :)
Rossella, I hope this thing spelled your name right. I don't know why, but it wants to do it's own thing and if I don't catch it, there will be a weird spelling. Computers have a mind of their own! sigh.....
I guess that black hole is an occupational hazard for all of us! Been feeling it myself lately. AnnT, we not only have our moms to deal with, but we also have the husbands that add to our stress!!! Mine acts like he is retired and I mean RETIRED!!! Can barely get him to wipe dishes after I do all the cooking. He takes meds for depression also, and I keep telling him to take more. He has nothing to be depressed about!!! I deal with everything around here, and have been for the entire 38 years we have been married. I didn't mind so much when he was working, but now all he does is lay on the couch and watch TV, or play games on the computer, or talk non stop about the economy and the sad state the country is in. I keep telling him to start a blog about his thoughts on these issues, he has some great ideas and should put them to good use! I'm the one who worries about where the $$ is coming from to pay the bills, and how much heat will cost this winter, and the pool needs to be covered and the house is a disaster and.... I'm having health issues continually. Besides weighing 20lbs more than I did just before I delivered my daughter, I am still having hormonal issues and may need a hysterectomy. I also think I have a hernia. The lack of sleep and all the lifting and helping Mom walk, etc., just adds to the stress. Diane, as for siblings visiting, I don't discuss Mom with them when they come. I don't let them aggravate me anymore, or give them anything to use as ammunition against me. In other words, I bite my tongue so hard, I'm surprised I have one left! I know that if Mom gets sick and is on her way out, they will be here to the end to assuage their guilt. So, that is when I will step back and let them deal with that part of caregiving. I know I can step aside without guilt and walk away from all the crap that will need to be done. I know I shouldn't give them the chance to be heroes, but I don't have the energy left to deal with the paperwork and planning. I am prepared to have issues because I am not good at keeping records of expenses and receipts etc., but I have no plans of making it easy for them. I will hand them a box of all the paperwork I have from the last 5 years, and let them deal. As they say,"payback is a b!tch"! I have nothing left for them to take from me and no longer care what happens when Mom is gone. The house is in my name and set so that it can't be taken from me. Mom's $$ will all be gone in another year, so there is no inheritance for any of us. They all have lives and much $$, so they don't need or deserve any from Mom. Linda, How's Pa today? So happy you got out, but hope your back is better soon. Rossella, It's getting so hard! Where will we find the strength to go on? Wish this hot weather would go away so that I could go for a walk at our local park. WITHOUT my husband, so I can find some piece by the river. He never wants to stop and sit by the water. For man with nothing to do, he's always in a hurry!!! Bobbie, hope you are getting through all your packing okay. My BIL will be heading home later today. He did bring us a beef tenderloin and we all had 2 steak dinners this week. Yumm!!! Cricket, Kim, Jen, Miz, I know I'm forgetting a lot of you, hope you all have a good day today. It's my baby's birthday today! 31!!! Wow! Guess she's not a baby anymore!
Ann, I agree with Linda. Sometimes it makes people feel good to help someone in need. I am sure that if you knew of someone that was having a hard time and you had the means, you would help someone else that you care about too. And, your brother needs to pay for what he has done.
good morning you all !!!! annt- the lord did answer ur prayers and see that ure in needin help and he sent them at your way . no charged to you ! it was a repayment out of kindnees of heart . someday you will help others in return . people has money sittin in the bank for a reason and that r eason was you . u are bal blessing to them and they love u dearly to help you out my friend . your brother committed a crime and he shall pay for it . if i did it or if u did it u think they would let us get away with it . nanana we be in jail with lots of lesbians . u are not a thief when it comes to takin moms meds . u needed it badly and it was there for a reason . everything has a reason and use it wisely . there has been times i didnt have any painpill i feel quilty takin one of dad s . he is just happy to share it with me knowing im in a great deal of pain . i dont abuse it , i take em if i need to get rid ofthe pain and move around . dont feel quilty , ur hubby sounds like he can not get motivatied . sounds like my bli , my sis inlaw too ha dto fin dhim a job and had to wake him up every morning to get him out of bed to go to work , he cry whine and bitch at her cuz he has to go to work , it was all her fault as usualy , so many things on top of it she finaly told her girls im walkin out ofthat front door and not lookin back , the girls went with her and they too didnt look back . thier grades improved to straight A s !! she dealt with his ass for 21 yrs , now she feels at peace . now bil is stayin at his moms house and watching over her . its ablessing and i do think the lord wants it that way . other wise mom be in the nursing home . everything has a reason to it . plz accept the gift and knowing one day you will return t hat gift . keep ur head up myfriend .. xoxox be back later , hubby s now wakin up . xoxox
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Looks like I missed the party last night! Was on the phone with Rip, then had to get a few things done, then bed. Had two bad nights for sleeping. RLS reared it's ugly head and had me up and pacing last night and the night before. My whole body was jumping the first night. Hardly slept at all, and last night was much the same. Took my Requip, it just didn't kick in for a couple hours. Hate it when that happens, especially when I have to get up to roll Mom on her side around 7AM. Can't remember the last time I slept in. Oh yeah! That was when I was in Seattle with Rip!!! Wish I was there right now. Going back someday, but will probably have my husband in tow the next time. Jen, I will definitely be coming to see you, for sure!!!
AnnT, Way to go!!! I have a sister that doesn't visit anymore unless she comes with my baby brother. I used to leave her with Mom whenever she came, and that didn't go over so well! Even though she is only 50 minutes away, she only visits 3 or 4 times a year now. My youngest brother is the only one that finds time to visit and he's Mr. MOm to a 9 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. Wife is a big shot lawyer for the Hartford Insurance Co. He was only 5 when my dad had his 1st heart attack and 13 when he died. He's now 43.
Kim, maybe we could get together and whip through our house cleaning! I used to be so good at it, now I just don't care.
Kuli, How are you doing?
Cricket, Sounds like you have your hands full!
I like the corner idea and actually it is quite fitting as we are all located in different corners of the country! Linda and Kim, are in the middle, so we could always show up at their place. You know, "meet in the middle"!
Got to finish putting the trash out and fill Mom's pill holder for the week. Have a good day everyone!
Jen, I liked that about pulling the black hole inside out. I'd like to reach in and grab it by the a$$hole and pull it through it's throat. Then it would look like a cone and I'd dump a gallon of ice cream in it and eat it.
Let's all go to the corner. By the time we all get there we'll form a cube. Fill our cube up with Margaritas and party hardy.
From Ireland With Love
If one day you feel like crying...
Call me.
I don't promise you that...
I will make you laugh
But I can cry with you.
If one day you want to run away -
Don't be afraid to call me
I don't promise to ask you to stop,
But I can run with you.
If one day you don't want to listen to
anybody;
I promise to be very quite.
But...
If one day there is no answer...
Come fast to see me...
Perhaps I need you...
I believe that without a friend you are missing out on a lot!!!
Don't be confused by friends and acquantances,
there is a difference!
Because I care about you,
It's national care week...
and you get to send
messages to all your friends
telling them that you
care about them and make them
feel good about
themselves and if they write back...
(just once)
then that means that they care
about you too.
Have a nice day, and Im glad we are Friends!!!
LovCuz
Post Caregiving blues ...
Let me know when you have your tickets! Candles in the bedrooms
rip = i think i would reconize u a mile away :-) of course harper s gotta be by ur side . she be a big help wont she ? hug her for me ...
jsomebody - the corner is over here :-) come on down ...
jsomebody- thats what keeps me going , i always tell myself well it could be worst . the black hole is always a waiting and theres a white hole i keep lookin for that white hole . where is it ? wheres that corner at ?
lol ````
How do we combine corners? Create a block where we could all breathe & feel a few moments of calm ...
perhaps a day or more?
Could be worse could be better but not as stressful as others I have been reading, circle the black hole, go in, grab it by the throat, pull it inside out and Take it with you ! That hole hasn't got a clue who it is messing with !!!
have a decent week everyone Take care. Jen
when my hubby had a heart attack , u would not believe few guys came and gave me firewood and help me load it up in the house , some gave me money and told me go buy something with it . i felt like a poor ole girl but then u know what it shows me what a good friends i have ! and i remmy to owe it to them when theyre down ! what goes around comes back around . woooo , isnt life great .
pa s not good , he ate his food but did not drink . mmm im thinkin his uti has came back , i shall get a sample of it and take it to the lab tmr if i can .
he worries me .
show is comin on soon . meow at ya all later xoxox
I took all your advice from a while back....My sil txtd me this morning to see if they could come see mom around 10am. It was 9:30 and I was in my pjs but I said ok. In twenty minutes I was all showered, make up and a dress on and out the door to the meeting. What y'all told me to do worked. I grabbed my bag and took off. Not spending hours entertaining them today while they supposedly are spending time with mama. I left hubby here with them. I saw a lot of friends, hugged a lot, talked till I was blue in the face and then went to lunch with my son and family. Dil was very nice to me for a change. It was like,.....WOW! what happened? and Linda you told me...my prayers were answered. Sometimes you get your head so far down the black hole that you can't see the answer right in front of you. It's funny how many times I've told others to pray and expect an answer, and then I forget to tell myself.
I realize something else too, that I'm much to proud. As several of you said, I should be willing to let others help me when I need it. That takes humility. I must work on that instead of humiliation. Who do I think I am? Am I too good to let someone help me? Just because I used to wear a suit and now I don't I should now feel like nothing? Did the suit make me? NO! I was just wearing the darned suit! The clothes are not the self esteem, they are not the confidence or strength. I can be that in sweatpants and let my friends help me out from time to time and be mighty grateful for it. My husband's illness may change for the better just like it changed for the worse. His illness is not Him. It's disease, just like dementia or cancer or ALZ. Why can I have infinite patience with mama and not with him? I depended on him too much after I quit working and now I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. But I can figure this out. If I get a job I will find someone to stay with mom. He won't stay in the house with someone else here so he will get out and do something. Like maybe work.lol! If he goes back to work things will be fine. I just gotta keep my head on my shoulders and not up my butt.
Thanks again y'all for helping reason all this out.
Thanks for the jokes and the love and support. I hope you all have a good night's sleep tonight and a great day tomorrow. Hello to all..the oldsters, the newbies, the just stopped byers and the I've come homers. What a great bunch you all are!
Love ya,
Ann
Rossella, you are right. We have to make time for ourselves or we won't make it. That is a wonderful idea. Sorry to hear you are depressed too! I think at some level they can sense when we are at our lowest. Dad is all showered and clean for now. Probably won't last long! :( We can hope! Love to you :)
I forgot to tell you all this. We have a piney squirrel somewhere in the house.Dad said he saw a mouse, but it is a little squirrel! We have had them before, and I usually open a window or door and let it out. This one is hiding. I will have o go to the feed and seed tomorrow and rent a live catch trap. Just need it out of here! We had one in here once and it was sitting on a wreath right above Dad's recliner! I walked right passes it, but Hannah spotted it! It was so still and quiet. Looked like it was part of the wreath. We have to find out where they are coming in. My daughter has a picture of when some came in before. TThis guy came out and was supposed to catch and relocate them plus patch the holes. Evidently, he didn't do a good job cause they came back and one is in the house again! Never a dull stressless moment! Got to go Dad has wet his pants again. Husband and I are going to take him up to the shower! Geez Louise!
And on top of it, it seems many of us are struggling with financial issues, which doesn't help to keep the peace of mind!
When we feel we are at the lowest level, let's go away for a little time! Let's do something pleasaent! Even one or two hours can make a big difference.
Annt, isn't there a chance that you find a job, earn a good money and you can hire a help for your mother? So that you musn't rely on your husband.
I had a bit of luck, anyway. The lady who kept my mother this summer, when my usual helpers were on vacation, has 2 young daughters (one is 11, the other one just 5) who are two very nice children. My mother likes them (myracle!) so that I often take both of them with me and my mother when we go shopping or eating an ice cream, and they make us much happier. They are that kind of children that are always happy whatever they do, they are happy even if you just take them to the supermarket! They sing in the car... they laugh... That kind of children that practically doesn't exist anymore!
Ann, don't feel bad at all when people help you. I have a feeling you have helped many people in your life already and all your kindness is coming back to you! These people love you! You will get the chance to do the same for them one day.
As far as the pain Meds go, you do what you have to do to be able to deal with the pain and everything else that is going on. If your body hurts, you can't deal with all the other demands put upon you! You are not a thief by any means. You are a beautiful strong lady who deserves the best! Right now you are being pulled in so many directions, it is hard to know which way to go! Be easy on yourself.
Miz, I think the routine will get easier for you. Hard to get back into the work force I think especially after care giving. We have become conditioned to watching, listening, lifting, changing diapers, showering.....Hard to get out of that mode even after our parents have passed on. Just plain hard then to deal with the public and deal with their needs when we are screaming for our own needs to be met. Probably just want to tell them to shut up sometimes! "Can't you see the he'll I've just been through". Have to bite your tongue though. You are going to
do great!
Diane, sorry you missed church. Hope your brother's visit didn't cause too much stress for you. Feel even better about yourself when they come around, because you are the caregiver. They are merely visitors trying somehow to purge their guilt! You know the truth, feel good about it in front of them.
Deef, my house is a disaster too. Dad is like a tornado! We need to do so much around here and yet find ourselves working on this apartment for Dad. I am just overwhelmed. My husband is a great help when he is home, but he works 12 hour night shift, so mostly I am here alone. My daughter helps a lot, but I try to leave her out of this as much as possible. Looking out into the woods helps me feel more relaxed and somehow allows me to think more clearly. It is a miracle anymore when I have clear head. I always feel like I am in a fog.
Linda, hope your pain is better! Hope your Pa feels better today! Glad you were able to enjoy the engine show. Today is so gloomy and cold. Ugh I love your posts. Gave husband and daughter the aging quiz. They both flunked! So did I! LOL If the dogs and cats could talk, they would probably pass! :)
Rossella, I did take your advice and did something I wanted to do. Went to a flea market. I love flea markets. So many different people from everywhere! It did me good. Thursday, I treated myself to a drive in the country! The colors are pretty this time of year. I felt renewed if only for a little bit, but you are right it does a body good. I am glad I didn't have my lighter out at the flea market though, because one vendor had Nazi flags out and I felt like burning them! I passed that booth quickly! Kept my urge to myself!
Jen, hope you are doing as well as possible. Couldn't help but laugh at what happened with the neighbor. Sounds like something that would happen to me! I'm notorious for walking into the Men's restroom! Hope the Meds won't make fp too dizzy and unstable. Yeah, I have an uncle that I can't bear to be around. He is in Florida. Dad's brother. He used to say inappropriate things to me and pinch me on the butt! Ugh Makes the hair raise on my arms just thinking about him!
Cricket, how goes it. Thanks for the hugs! I do think our Dads are alike. Stubborn to the bone. Can't see the forest for the trees! Saw the picture of one of your dogs and Dad. Priceless!!
Lilli, I have a list about things we can do for sun downing. Later this evening I am going to post the suggestions they gave us. Hope you have a tolerable day.
Bobbi, hope you are able to get everything done and get out of there! So hard to go through all of their stuff. There is just so much of it. Overwhelming to say the least! The memories associated with it all is the hardest I think, but it will be behind you soon!
Kuili, thanks for the good thoughts! Hope your Dad is feeling better. We found out when we had to go to the docs office and pick up Dad's chest X-ray that he has mild congestive heart failure. They didn't even tell us about it when he was in rehab. He does cough a lot and he is on a diuretic.
Dad hasn't been feeling good at all! He peed his pants three times the other night and this morning had peed his bed and pooped in it. He isn't wanting to eat much at all. Has a small scrape above his eyebrow. Don't know where that came from. I noticed it yesterday! He just wants to sleep! Seems more unsteady. We are going to call and see if we can get his doc appointment moved up. It was supposed to be this Thursday, but I think we need to get him in now. It is scaring me!
I hope I haven't forgotten anyone. I know there is someone that came back to the thread! My memory! Sorry. Hugs to you. Cuz, keep jokes coming! Love to Austin and Rip, Msm keep us posted! I love each and every one of you! Talk later and try to talk to everyone! :)
Rossella, I hope this thing spelled your name right. I don't know why, but it wants to do it's own thing and if I don't catch it, there will be a weird spelling. Computers have a mind of their own! sigh.....
AnnT, we not only have our moms to deal with, but we also have the husbands that add to our stress!!! Mine acts like he is retired and I mean RETIRED!!! Can barely get him to wipe dishes after I do all the cooking. He takes meds for depression also, and I keep telling him to take more.
He has nothing to be depressed about!!! I deal with everything around here, and have been for the entire 38 years we have been married. I didn't mind so much when he was working, but now all he does is lay on the couch and watch TV, or play games on the computer, or talk non stop about the economy and the sad
state the country is in. I keep telling him to start a blog about his thoughts on these issues, he has some great ideas and should put them to good use!
I'm the one who worries about where the $$ is coming from to pay the bills, and how much heat will cost this winter, and the pool needs to be covered and the house is a disaster and....
I'm having health issues continually. Besides weighing 20lbs more than I did just before I delivered my daughter, I am still having hormonal issues and may need a hysterectomy. I also think I have a hernia. The lack of sleep and all the lifting and helping Mom walk, etc., just adds to the stress.
Diane, as for siblings visiting, I don't discuss Mom with them when they come. I don't let them aggravate me anymore, or give them anything to use as ammunition against me. In other words, I bite my tongue so hard, I'm surprised I have one left! I know that if Mom gets sick and is on her way out, they will be here to the end to assuage their guilt. So, that is when I will step back and let them deal with that part of caregiving. I know I can step aside without guilt and walk away from all the crap that will need to be done. I know I shouldn't give them the chance to be heroes, but I don't have the energy left to deal with the paperwork and planning. I am prepared to have issues because I am not good at keeping records of expenses and receipts etc., but I have no plans of making it easy for them. I will hand them a box of all the paperwork I have from the last 5 years, and let them deal. As they say,"payback is a b!tch"! I have nothing left for them to take from me and no longer care what happens when Mom is gone. The house is in my name and set so that it can't be taken from me. Mom's $$ will all be gone in another year, so there is no inheritance for any of us. They all have lives and much $$, so they don't need or deserve any from Mom.
Linda, How's Pa today? So happy you got out, but hope your back is better soon.
Rossella, It's getting so hard! Where will we find the strength to go on? Wish this hot weather would go away so that I could go for a walk at our local park. WITHOUT my husband, so I can find some piece by the river. He never wants to stop and sit by the water. For man with nothing to do, he's always in a hurry!!!
Bobbie, hope you are getting through all your packing okay. My BIL will be heading home later today. He did bring us a beef tenderloin and we all had 2 steak dinners this week. Yumm!!!
Cricket, Kim, Jen, Miz, I know I'm forgetting a lot of you, hope you all have a good day today.
It's my baby's birthday today! 31!!! Wow! Guess she's not a baby anymore!
love,
miz
annt- the lord did answer ur prayers and see that ure in needin help and he sent them at your way . no charged to you ! it was a repayment out of kindnees of heart . someday you will help others in return . people has money sittin in the bank for a reason and that r eason was you . u are bal blessing to them and they love u dearly to help you out my friend . your brother committed a crime and he shall pay for it . if i did it or if u did it u think they would let us get away with it . nanana we be in jail with lots of lesbians . u are not a thief when it comes to takin moms meds . u needed it badly and it was there for a reason . everything has a reason and use it wisely . there has been times i didnt have any painpill i feel quilty takin one of dad s . he is just happy to share it with me knowing im in a great deal of pain . i dont abuse it , i take em if i need to get rid ofthe pain and move around . dont feel quilty , ur hubby sounds like he can not get motivatied . sounds like my bli , my sis inlaw too ha dto fin dhim a job and had to wake him up every morning to get him out of bed to go to work , he cry whine and bitch at her cuz he has to go to work , it was all her fault as usualy , so many things on top of it she finaly told her girls im walkin out ofthat front door and not lookin back , the girls went with her and they too didnt look back . thier grades improved to straight A s !! she dealt with his ass for 21 yrs , now she feels at peace . now bil is stayin at his moms house and watching over her . its ablessing and i do think the lord wants it that way . other wise mom be in the nursing home . everything has a reason to it . plz accept the gift and knowing one day you will return t hat gift .
keep ur head up myfriend .. xoxox
be back later , hubby s now wakin up . xoxox