Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Well, amend that last weather update for Ma. it's now 49 degrees and supposed to be around 39 tomorrow morning!! then it's gonna warm up to 70's and be sticky. Go figure!!!

Jen, it's been rainy for days and today is cold! been in the 50's. But I'm not complaining, you know how much I hate the heat!!! It was humid and hot until mid afternoon yesterday then the rain came and cooled it down. Great for the gardens but now we need some sun if we want fruit and veggies.
Hope you don't have it too hot out there yet. Need to get the air conditioners in soon, as the cats don't like the heat either.

Hey deef, hearing aids, every time I see how much they cost it is a shock, but they are complex little things! How is the weather East Side?

Well, we ordered new hearing aids this morning. Too bad it takes 2 weeks to get them in! Was going to order one for $800, but 2 will be $1100 so I said get the 2 and I will keep one with me so if Blanche loses the one she has, I will have a replacement. In the meantime, if I find the originals, we'll have a spare set! Didn't tell her how much they were going to cost. She would pitch a fit for sure. I will just have her sign a check when they come in and I will write it out for her as I do with all her bills.
So we get home and I make lunch and after she eats, she is digging around in her purse and I see her wrapping something in a grocery receipt. I asked her what she had and she unrolled the paper and gave it to me but still had something in her hand. Guess what it was!!! Her f'ing house key that I just spent the last week looking for!!! Little sh!t had it all along and was trying to hide it from me so I wouldn't know she found it!!! She was not happy when I made her give it to me but I made sure she put it in the front zipper of her purse where she always kept it.
Then there was the whole trying to explain her new meds and take away one of the old ones. Geez!!! I was never so happy to get out of there!! When I told my husband about the keys he said I should have looked to see if her hearing aids were in her bag too! I said I would be looking for sure when I see her tomorrow!
Laurie, I'm with you on the dentures!! When Mom was still alive, I hated the mornings I had to get her ready for daycare. Her dentures made me gag all the time. Butt stuff doesn't bother me, but anything from the mouth does me in!!!
Mame, it has taken me a couple weeks to get all my planting done here. I have 2 gardens and we just expanded the one in the middle of the yard. I put in 3 kinds of squash, 2 varieties of cukes, cherry tomatoes, early girl and roma tomatoes and green, red and jalapeno peppers. Then there are the green and yellow beans, radishes and leaf lettuce which we will be eating in a week or so. The raspberry patch is fenced in and the plants tied in rows and the concord grapes are sprouting like crazy. We also have rosemary, thyme, mint and basil in pots. It's not much work right now, but in a month I'll have to be working in the gardens every day weeding, watering, fertilizing and eventually harvesting. Planning on doing a lot of canning this year as funds will be low and I will need the extra food to keep the grocery bills down during the heating season.
Jen, good to hear they can remove the pesky thing the easiest way! After that you should be good to go, and feeling great.
Talked to my baby brother this morning and he told me our sister Peg has been in the hospital recently. Her crit was 7!!!!! They had to keep her in for a couple days and do a blood transfusion and a couple of iron transfusions. They did the camera through the digestive system to see if there is any internal bleeding which they think is the cause of her low blood count. She has autoimmune like me and has had 2 surgeries on her colon. The first was for a prolapsed rectum and the second was to remove her small colon because of polyps. I need to call her tonight and see what the heck is going on. She didn't let anyone in the family know until she talked to our brother this weekend. Fool!!!!
Okay, now I'm back home and have some time, I think I will start a much needed project here. Thing is there are so many I don't know which one to start first!!
Good to see everyone posting! Let's try to keep it up ladies!!!
Love Deef!

I think it must have been a nerve thing, if I shake em loose a bit it does go away!
Trying to sleep, listen to mom and fp argue...He picked up his under pad off the recliner because he soaked it, so what did he do....? he turned it over so the top (blue side) was up and the wet side....yes, on the recliner...THAT is disordered thinking...

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT PRAYERS AND WISHES! I will be on my own and there is no way to shift fp and mom won't ask anyone to help. So I will bus up to hospital at 6AM and IF mom is available, she and fp will come get me or I think they have s hospital transport can take you home after...Startin to wish I was staying three days... rather have the transport...REALLY

Oh Laurie-I remember those days! I used the latex gloves for a long time....and can now take mom's teeth in and out like a pro-no gloves-no gagging! They don't take them out in the NH so I still have to clean them even tho she is no longer here with me in my home! The other day, no one could find her teeth-and mom couldn't remember...all of a sudden she says, "Wait! I took a nap! And I put them under my pillow." We all had a good laugh as we picked up her pillow and there they were!
Jen, I will def be saying a prayer for you and your procedure! How are your arms?
Deef-thanks and yes, it is hard to get motivated to start a project when you have to leave in the middle...and then are tired when you get home. Ugh. My new normal.
Meanwhile-Cork! That is a good one! Glad they are doing well. What an interesting life you lead!
Bobbie-sounds like you are in a good place right now! Happy for you. Enjoy.
Sharyn, those babies will be here before you know it! Such an exciting time.
Hello Susan! Welcome!
Cuz-you are a wonderful part of this thread and are a caregiver-of all of us! All your jokes and kind words keeping us afloat!
Juju-So much work on the house! Hope you can have a sense of accomplishment soon!
Meanwhile-the gardening does take up a lot of time. For my bday, some gave me gift cards for the local plant store here...knowing with hubby out of work I wouldn't use any money or don't have any for that-so I have been able to get some nice plants to put in and pretty up the yard. I wish I had the energy to just get it done...it has taken me many days...must be cause I'm 50 now...haha
Did I tell you my son took me out for a surprise Horseback (Trail) Ride on my bday? It was great to be in the saddle again!
Austin-how you holding up in our humidity? Glad it's cooler today!
Well, Hello to everyone else out there! Hope everyone is doing ok. Talk to you soon. Mame

Hey Laurie.
Welcome to the Grossed Out thread.

get some of those latex gloves. They have them at the supermarket where they keep the other gloves.
One day your mom won't be able to pop the teeth out by herself and you'll be ready!

I swear when I started caregiving my mom I threw up a few times. Always made it out of the room but man oh man.

Good luck and keep venting!

Jen! ok, June 6th and we all will be thinking positive thoughts for you. Told you that I had mine out and was not out of commission for long at all. We will all be holding our breath waiting for your first post op post. ha.

lovbob

I have a real problem with spit, and I had to start cleaning and re-inserting my mom's dentures this week. I handled it. I thought I'd barf, but when it came down to doing it, as long as she pulls them out and puts them in the bowl herself, and I just take them to the sink and don't have to touch them until they've been under running water for a minute, I'm OK. Then I can hold them, drop them into the Polident solution, and then I can brush, dry, and put "tooth glue" on them and put them back in her mouth. Never thought I'd be able to do it, but I did. There's hope for us all. :-D

June 6th...laproscopic, in and out. Pretty common operation...home same day most likely. Diet change didn't help, hurts 24-7... on we go...

Another long day here! Brought Blanche to the cardiologist this morning hoping he could shed some light on her condition with the carotid artery blockages. He said no, I treat her for her heart. Okay, I took her to her primary care in April and he seemed confused about the artery issue and the supposed mini stroke she suffered. The cardiologist was concerned that her blood pressure was so high and asked why Lisinopril was not on her list of meds. I said she had not taken it while I was managing her meds. I remembered one of her church ladies saying they took her to the ER in November because she was dehydrated and that they took 2 of her pills away. Well, it turns out one of them was a 40mg Lisinopril! No wonder her BP was so high!!
I have to make calls tomorrow and find out who and why the med was stopped. I have to pick up a new script for her tomorrow as she definitely needs it. Then she wanted to go to lunch, so I had to put gas in my car because her favorite restaurant is 15 miles out of town. At least she paid for lunch!!! I had a fish taco with sweet potato fries and onion rings and she had her upside down chicken pie. I finally got myself away from her and back home after 4 long hours. I picked up my 4 cemetery pots on the way and got them up and hanging in the yard. Then I planted pixie lily and calla lily bulbs in the yard. Finally I sat down on the new patio and did some knitting while I watched the hummingbirds on the feeders. After that it was off to the pet store for cat food then home and 40 minutes on the treadmill.Then I made supper and had to deal with a crazy phone call from Blanche. She was pulling out all the stops trying to get me to go back to her house tonight, but when I didn't take any of the bait she threw my way, she got mad at me and gave up.
That's when I decided to check in on the thread and was so happy to see all the posts!!!
Cuz, it would be so great if we all could get together somewhere, someday! I did have the great pleasure of flying across the country out to Washington state 3 years ago and got to spend a week with Rip! It was wonderful! My only regret is not being able to get to Spokane to meet Jen while I was out there!
Jen, good luck with your consult. Maybe they will try you on a special diet or meds before deciding on surgery. In the meantime, think about packing your bags and heading on out to Mass.! August is good, that's when all the garden veggies and fruit will be plentiful!
Sharyn, I can barely afford to keep this huge place going, but can't seem to bring myself to give up the family home we were all raised in.
Susan, how's Mom? Anymore gross stories for us!! Thanks for the shadowbox idea! Think I will gather some of mom's things and put together a few for X-mas presents!
Juju, Care giving is exhausting enough, but add all the home renovations you are doing, and I can't imagine you have any energy left at the end of the day! I wish I had half your energy, then maybe I could get my apartment cleaned up. It sure needs it after the last 2 years of neglect while mom was total care. I have so much to do and don't know where to start. Maybe now that my garden is all in and the flower beds are all planted, I can actually spend some time Spring cleaning.
Mame, I know about the mid day split for sure! I bring lunch to Blanche 7 days a week and stay with her for a couple hours or more. It really stalls my desire to get any projects started at home. Of course the fact that my husband is constantly in the way doesn't help! It sounds like you have a lot piled on your shoulders right now and it's no wonder you are falling into the "black hole"! That is something we have all done many times. As for your mom, the NH workers do the best they can with all the people they have to take care of on their shift. It's so hard to go every day and see things you don't like, but if you don't advocate for her, she will fall between the cracks like the patients that have no one visiting them and looking out for their best interests.That's the unfortunate thing about placing someone. But you also need to make sure you get some days to yourself because you won't be able to change the system and will only make it harder for yourself. I hope you are able to get through this bad patch and find another therapist to help you. Good luck with your son and I hope your husband can find a job soon. That will certainly help with your stress level!
Austin, Glad to hear you are okay and happy to see you found a special someone!
Meanwhile!! Kids!!! They will be sooo cute!!! I once saw a sheep deliver triplets. It was amazing!! Lose it does work, but I'm also exercising my A$$ off! One to two hours a day every day for the past 2 months! My metabolism was non-existent before and I needed to do something drastic. I eat stuff I shouldn't, but burn it off right after. Cheating means more hard work, so I think twice before I eat something really bad!
Bobbie!!!!!!! Expedition cruiser???? I want a ride!!! Your job sounds like a great adventure. Sorry your health is not what it should be. Hazard of being over 60 I guess! Have to try the vit.B trick!
Okay, exhausted here and legs are jumping like crazy. It's feed the cats and then off to bed for me.
Night everyone!! Deef!!

meanwhile Is that what you call short term caregiving with the goats? I'm glad Cork and his sister r ok.
luvCuz

Well, didn't get too much sleep last night, (and had to be at work this morning), but 2 new goat kids. I'm calling the 1st one Cork. He was so stuck, then the a doe kid behind him, backwards. My sister and I got them pulled out, and up and nursing. They are all doing fine. Sis and I have been raising goats for 25 years now, and it's still exciting.

xoxo Austin.
lovbob

Juju protein powder sounds great -should have had that for Mom she lost so much weight the last time she got dressed up her clothes were falling off practically. Bobbie you will always be my special friend-GO will continue some of us will stay and newbies will come along -I would hate not to get drive byes from you I can see you want to move on but girlfriend you are so important to us all -it is about 6 yrs on AC for me-almost five yrs. since the husband died-since Carlo and I are older we are committed to spend time together as we are able to -both of us have busy lives but are so glad to have each other-so please do not leave us completely.

Jen, there's a nice pool not far from here and it's right on the Sound so you can see the Atlantic as well as a cool lighthouse.

Meanwhile, thx and I hope my health issues are no big deal of course but still don't know wtf so I am just hitting the books and trying to start taking care of myself.
I think that so many caregivers stop taking care of themselves and end up getting sick. Hopefully it's not too late to turn it around. We shall see.
I think its so exciting to have animals being born right there. Hope it is a smooth move.

The sun is just coming up and it is spectacular. The colors are so soft and beautiful.
We will be moving the 42' sailboat to the inside of the dock at high slack tide. The tidal range here is anywhere from 7 to 9 feet so the current gets faster with the higher tides as we near the new moon in 2 days.
We wait for high slack tide where the water is at its slowest and deepest and then with extra hands on the boats already docked on the inside, just in case the new boat gets too close, the captain will bring her around and we will pull her in to stay until November.

OK, time to go down to the dock and rinse off the bird DNA.

lovbob

Jen, I'm with you on water, I'd rather swim than fish. Ask your Dr how many surgeries he has done. Anyway, you get a good Dr, no screw ups. We need you back here as soon as you can.
Goat is still making us wait. One minute she is laying around grunting, the next she's up eating or running around. Will have to keep checking through the night. It's her 1st time, and her mother almost always got her kids tangled up on the way out. This little doe was born backwards.

Ah baby goats, put up a pic if you can meanwhile!
Bobbie...."interesting side effects" hmnnn I hope they are "good interesting" and not messy interesting! Still alive here, floor didn't open up last night. doing some yard work, garbage out day later this week. mmn boat sounds really good right now. I wonder if I could ever do that, fly five thousand miles away and stay with strangers...On enough Ativan maybe...;) but I would love to all the same! have my surgical consult tomorrow. I imagine he specializes in fat people, I am too heavy for the four tiny incisions surgery so...
Hey, three days in the hospital will be A VACATION !!!
Mom has gotten a really bad cold here, swollen glands and everything... She is upset, wants to drive me and be there for the consult, but i said you are too sick and need to stay here...She really should. I know where the place is, have my med list and can bring the cell. I mean I don't know, I have figured I am on my own for this as she can't leave fp here. I figure, if I have to I can cab to and from right? I won't be coming home till I am able to get about?...I don't know...
My life reads like a bad soap opera...am still hoping for a "Deus ex machina" here.
Don't worry, i have been through worse and come out OK...
Hi Deefer! can see you in the garden! hope it is flourishing there!
Blanche should have at least three good home hidy places for cash! one isn't safe enough. We found over $6,000 in cash at the house when we cleaned it out for the last time...but we also knew it was there...
Sharyn, keep the key. mom kept hers too, she has had it since 1956. It isn't like you'd go back in...it's just something to hold on too...
you'd wig my mom out cuz...but that be fun...
juju, yeah, I'm not going anywhere if the thread doesn't. It seems pretty well established but I suppose it could shut down eventually...?
Mame had the therapist go away here too....I guess it is always back to us, but it was nice to have the support while it lasted...
Susan: good idea about the shadowboxes!
I'd make a terrible fisherman, any water I see, I want to swim in, short of sewage and excessive weed growth...OK oil slick wouldn't be that good either...
Another week, another...I don't know, let's just get through Monday....
Have a good week everyone...Peaceful Decoration Day... Jen

Bob, you are living the life, and I love reading about it. Sorry to hear about your health issues. Jen, don't get yourself swallowed up in a sink hole, we would all miss you. Juju, hope the remodeling goes well. I'm doing sheetrock on the latest project house, it's such a mess. It's so much harder when you have to live in the construction zone. Deef, so glad to hear your trying to take care of yourself. I'm still on the lose it site, but I do good to lose 1 or 2 pounds in a month. What can I say, I have no will power. Mame, so sorry about all the stress and adjustments going on for you right now. Well, I have to go. My favorite goat is due to have kids any minute now. Trying to keep an eye on her, yet not bother her to much. Hope everyone has a good holiday.

Good Morning Crew and Happy Memorial Day.

Well, I guess we will be here because we are still doing good for each other!
I have to tell you that reading these posts this morning did me a world of good and I thank each and every one of you for that!

Juju! Don't cry! and thx for kind words!

Mame! Thx buddy for the kind words.

CUZ!! thanks so much!

Jen!! thank you thank you for the understanding. Your freedom has to come soon. And when it does, you need to come out here and hang out with me for a week or so and we will have a grand time. This little apartment is so cool and I can see my boat from right where I am typing. So, you like to fish? I like to fish but I don't like the catching part. I do like the eating part however.

Susan! Yes, what a great idea of the shadow box. I have things that would work for that as well and it is heartbreaking to see these little things every once in awhile and I will still burst into tears. Ow Ow we have all been through so much.

Still really concerned about Austin since she had to put her kitty to sleep and we haven't heard how she is doing.

Meanwhile! yes, gardening and everything!

Deef! When I first read that you were taking care of Blanche I wanted to drive up there and shake you! So glad you are going to see that they make arrangements so you don't fall into that rabbit hole again. Love you Deef.

RIP!!! wassup?? Good to know that the back channels are alive and healthy. I wish for the best for you Rip!! Miss your posts. Nothing ever stays the same and this group of people is a good group just like our original crew.

Sharynmarie! you will have such an amazing year! Very glad that you are here.

Kuli! I think of you often and hope you are doing better in the time it takes us to heal from the passing of our parents.

There are so many of us who have come and gone and who still check in once in awhile. It's always so good to *see* from everyone and I hope that folks will continue to check in here and there.

OK, so I'm kicking it in the used recliner I bought for up here in the dockmasters' apt and all of a sudden I see this mast coming in (I'm on the second floor overlooking the marsh and ICW) and I jump up to dock a nice 42' sailboat. Usually people will call in advance or hit me up on 16 on the radio but after a inquiry call about 2 weeks ago these cool folks just came on in. Their boat will stay here while they do this and that and they will sail away come November. This is such a cool job and I hope I am able to keep it. Doesn't pay much but people will flip me a 10 for driving them to the store or sometimes folks will tip just for tying up their boat when they come in. Pizza money.

All this time I have been calling my boat a trawler but a boat builder stayed here for about 5 weeks and informed me that it is an Expedition Cruiser. haha. Sounds very Nautical.

I have had some health issues for the past few months and still don't know for sure what's going on but didn't want to write about it for some reason. I am on a new diet and taking some supplements and it's had an interesting side effect:

Here we have those no-see-ums. They get in your hair and bite the beejesus out of you. Flying teeth.
About a month ago a big boat came in and the lady told me about going to Alaska where she learned that if she took Vit B-1 the mosquitos would leave her alone. I wondered if that would work for no-see-ums so when I found out that I had to take Vit B complex I hoped that I wouldn't have to hose myself down with Off! or some of the natural stuff I have that doesn't work that great.
Sure enough, I have been doing this for 5 days and no bugs. I can see them trying to orbit me but they don't light. Weird, right? I love it. No more scratching like I live in a flea infested boarding house.

Fixing to rain big time out there. Good thing we all have boats.

Thank you again ladies and Cuz!

lovbob

You're welcome, SharynMarie - Amazon has lots of shadowboxes to choose from at decent prices, and you can google shadowbox ideas to come up with some creative ways to display your memories.

Susan-great Idea about the shadow box. Thank you.

Hi All. Sorry I have not been writing either. I read you every day. I think I am just depressed. I feel horrible not writing to each of you about what is going on with you. I know I love it when someone mentions me. But with everything going on here, I just don't have the energy. I guess I am having a hard time with the change of mom being in the NH. My sense of purpose etc. No longer the "caregiver" but more of a "care manager." And then I go in to the NH at lunch time every week day which breaks up the day in a bad way that I am having trouble working though...and something stupid happens like mom still in bed-cause she has to be hoisted out with a "lift pad" and it is in the laundry-and apparently they have no others(?) so she has to spend the day in bed. Oh joy. It doesn't happen often, I just don't feel it should happen at all. I leave there some days in tears I feel so helpless. I have no control and I am sure that is what is really getting to me. I let the powers that be know when I think things are unacceptable-(no O2 tanks available/full so she has to stay in her room on her machine?) but nothing gets done in a hurry. I am sad a lot of the time for her. It is just unpredictable and hard. Hubby is still out of work. My kid is making some choices I wish he would reconsider...but he is old enough now to make his own decisions-and deal with the consequences... I am just trying to push him to make the most informed/educated decision. That is all I can do! Oh-my counselor has retired. Just a lot of changes and anxiety and loss of control. I feel for each and every one of you and what you are going through. Life is hard. Bobbie-you have hit the nail on the head soooo many times for me over the last couple years with your posts-thank you for that and helping me keep on keepin on! I seriously don't know what I would have done-I was so lonely and angry when I first started posting here! This is a great group and I thank you all for sharing your stories and sympathy and friendship. I will continue to read and try to post. Hate to see it end but do understand if it does... Love and hugs to you all. Mame

I cried yesterday when I read bobbie's post. I have not posted much as deef and others by the time I sit down for computer time, I really cant read or write much from exhaustion. However, I really have grown comfortable with knowing you all are here for me and all of us. Especially you Bobbie!!! I can't thank you enough for being you and here. You have a very special gift of saying the right thing at the right time. I can't imagine not having you here to guide the ship. And Jen it would not be the same without you as well!!! I love you all so much. I sure hope the thread will get a second wind at some point. Cuz, Thank you for your appreciation, Deef, Mame, Austin, Sharyn, Susan and everyone i didn't mention....
Well time to get busy, got a full day of chaos ahead here, tearing up the living room subfloor today.
Peace,
Juju

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately either. I check in everyday though. Spring is busy I think for everyone. Gardening, and just getting outside. Still working on a project house here.

Sharynmarie - can I make a suggestion? Keep the key to your parents house - and make a shadow box of memories. Include little things from your parents' lives - postcards, maybe a favorite photograph of the house (maybe there's one with them standing in front of the house?), dried flowers of the type they may have had in the yard, a toy car representing the type of car they once had....and that key. I bet you can make it look really nice and it will be a great piece to hang on your wall.

I have plans to make shadowboxes for each of my siblings - I found their christening outfits in the closet when I was cleaning it out one day.

Wow...I hate to see you Bobbie and Cuz not posting but I understand that If it helps everyone, the Caregiver, How are doing? thread is thriving even though Jam who created it, is not currently posting.

I hope to see Jen through the end, Jen your situation is difficult and I enjoy hearing from you. Juju, you as well, I can't image how it must be for you with no one to help you.
Meanwhile, Mame, Deef...you were the first ones to reach out to me...I will always remember that.
My daughter is doing well. She just went through her first daycare crisis before the babes are born, LOL!!! Her problem is, she works 11am-8pm. She would need someone to care for the boys from 10:30am-8:30pm during the 3 months that her hubby has to work swing shift...2x's a year as his shifts rotate. Plus my daughter works Saturdays. Well as most of you have probably already figured out, 95% of all home daycares are open only till 6pm and no weekend...no two infants at the same time. Daycare facilities are open later but they want $600 per month per child....$1,200 is beyond their budget. So...she was finally able to secure a spot with a home daycare that is open from 6am-12am...but they do charge more...$160 more a month than they originally budgeted for. This is good...it will make things tight for them...but...as we all know...having children requires some sacrifices. She is planning on coming out to Cali again for Thanksgiving...if they are able to do that...they won't be coming out here much as plane tickets for 4 is going to be expensive. She doesn't like driving out, especially by herself.

I just cannot throw the key away to my parents house even though it has sold and everything has been turned over to the new owners. I think I will just keep it...to painful to let go of right now.
Hugs to everyone, hope your Memorial Day weekend has been relaxing if not enjoyable with family and friends.

If this site closes down I will have to sit and post by my self until it hits 30,000 posts and lets bobbie know we are are still here for her and everyone else that is on here. I have grown to love each one of you beautiful caregivers. The wife doesn't mind that I say that because we just had our 46th year on May 16. We didn't have to care for the wife's mother because she was already in an assisted living with some of the best caregivers I have ever met. I look at those gals with the same respect that I have shared with all of you in the last three years. Blessings to each one of you and if I had the chance to I would give each one of you a big hug personally. If I had the resources I would like to drive around and see you face to face to thank you for all of the trials and h*ll you have been through when nobody else would step up to the plate and even help. It been an honor and a privilege to be given the opportunity to be allowed to be on this site even though I haven't been a care giver. You gals rock and if nobody else thanks you for doing it I do. THANK YOU all for being there for the person you love. Hugs again. Harv , bobbies real cousin.

Hey I'm still here but haven't got any good jokes to pass on to ya. Fishin hasn't been that good so I can't use that for an excuse not to be on here. I read the posts every night but I don't comment probably as much as I should but most of the questions have been answered by the time I get on here because its so late and everyone has gone night night. Hugs to everyone and Jen just don't give up OK. Hugs to you. I know you have been put through enough. Holiday weekend maybe some have taken a break and will be back on Tuesday. I'll always be around.
lovCuz

I'm still here, just bogged down with Blanche, a huge house to care for and it's garden time again!! I take lunch to Blanche every day and stay for a couple hours. Sometimes I clean or take her to the store or pay her bills. Lately it's been out for yard work as if I don't have enough at home! I often get 3 to 4 calls a day or in the evening from her. So far she has lost both of her hearing aids, after we spent a few days finding the one that was missing. Then she lost her back door key that she always uses when she goes out. Luckily there was a spare in her garage because the key is so old they can no longer make duplicates.
Then she called me one night and said all her $$ was gone! "I don't even have 1 dollar!" she said. I had to get in my car and drive across town to see what the hell she was talking about. Apparently when she went to church with a friend last Sunday, she changed bags. When she got home she hid it from "those people, you know, the ones that talk all the time but I can't see them!" I searched everywhere and found the only bag I ever saw her use. It was completely empty!!! After much searching and re-searching, I found a bag under the bed and it had all her $$,etc. Case closed and I went home. The next day, we went to the store and when we got back she didn't have her house key!!! Apparently she lost it after she got home from church. Must have hidden it from "those people!" Now she's mad at me because I won't give her the only key to her kitchen door. I explained that she would lose that too and then she would be stuck outside.
I'm about to take up drinking as my new hobby!!! At some point I will have to call my BIL and tell him he has to place her because it's getting to be too much for me to deal with all over again. It was supposed to be an every other day thing to check on her and make sure she was eating and paying her bills, but it has turned into a full time craziness all over again!
It's so hard to get anything done when every day is broken in half by my time with her. Sometimes I don't have any energy left after dealing with her and I have so much to do here. I forgot to pay 2 bills again, so that means late fees I shouldn't have to pay, but my brains are up my a$$ most of the time! As usual I take care of me last. If I could get my lazy a$$ husband to do even a tiny bit around here, things would be somewhat easier, but fat chance of that happening! Most of the time he is on his own now. I don't cater to him anymore. After 44 years of it, I've decided I don't give 2 sh!ts about his needs anymore. I'm looking out for myself more than I used to.
That being said, I am proud to announce that I have lost 16lbs. in the past 10 weeks!!!!! I feel sooooo good and can do all kinds of things that would have worn me out in 5 minutes. I exercise every day, usually at night, thus the main reason I have not been on the thread as I used to be. I'm sorry and do apologize for that. At first it was just being numb from mom's finally passing, then it was being tied to Blanche and care giving again, then I just needed to take better care of me.
I truly wish all the "oldies" could be here for all the newbies, but I'm sure they are all trying to get on with life after care giving, which I've learned is not so easy to do.
I do pop in to read almost every week and intend to update everyone, but then It gets to be late and I can't keep my eyes open long enough to type. As a matter of fact, my last post I wasn't sure I had dreamed I did or if I actually posted it! All the fresh air and exercise have me falling asleep on my feet, but when I go to bed, the legs start up and I don't get much sleep.
Today I got up and went outside to drink my coffee and do a bit in the garden. Then it was cook some lunch for Blanche and drive to her house. It was so nice I decided to bri8ng her back here and sit with her on my new patio. Then I took her home after 2 and came back and finished planting flowers in pots and planted the cucumbers in the garden. Had to add compost and till the soil first. Then I watered the entire garden, mowed the lawn, trimmed around all the gardens and the fences. That took from 2:30 until 5:30. My husband wanted subs for supper, so I told him he would have to go pick them up. I showered while he was gone, then ate outside and watched the hummingbirds on our new feeders.
When I checked my e-mail, Rip had alerted me to Bobbie's post and I had to get on here and update you all on my never ending crazy life!
Jen, I wish you could find a way to get out here! I have plenty of room here and you are welcome to come and stay for how ever long you would like! A little peace and quiet and sanity for you,eh?
Bobbie, sounds like you are loving what you are doing right now, and that is good! At our age who knows how much time we have left on this earth? best we be doing what we want while we still have time.
Juju. keep posting there will be others looking for advice and and a shoulder to lean on.
Sharyn, hope your daughter is feeling well. Twins, I still can't believe how lucky you are!
Austin, Sorry about your kitty, Jen poor Monty! Tut is doing well so far but is in need of a few laser treatments for his ear to get rid of the adenomas. I'm told it is inexpensive and should do the trick in 2 or 3 visits. That was another issue I was really busy with. Vet visits, and 3 meds 2x's daily for Tut. He got really good at hiding from me!!
Meanwhile, sorry to hear about Indio's dad. Know what you mean about dresses!!! I bet It's been 30 years since I put one on!!! As for pantyhose, they should be banned from existence!!
I know I'm forgetting a lot of you, but all that fresh air and hard work has fried my brain for the day! Bobbie, the thread will never be dead!!! Just slowing down from time to time, just like all of us. I will do my best to pop in more often and see if we can't get some of us "old timers" to join in occasionally too!
In the meantime, hang in there everyone!
Love Deef!!

Hey Bobbie, rip has always talked about that: how we had such a close group for about three years, but then it ends...I think, as people's lives changed they moved on and the reasons they were here stopped being. But now and then I imagine lots of new posters will come along and re discover the Grossed thread as they enter the Vent and Live Lifestyle...Nothing lasts forever, we were lucky and seemed to hit it just right. I am glad for all the people I met and shared with...and you are right, my crazy has not ended as yet...It is really upsetting to even think about it right now...I wish to GOD he would just die already, why does this just keep going on?...My aunt asked my mom ( her sister ) if she would consider having him go off all his meds and "let nature take it's course"... No. and basically that would fall under neglect...There are so many family members that are upset by all we go through; all the worry and strain and no end in sight, but my mother has the reins and won't shift for anything, it is death or bed ridden and until then it just goes on...Of course there is also the factual, percentage based result of the death of the caregiver first, that would end it too...Ugh...I just did some yard work and came in and he is coming out to look for me in the yard...I have come in here and shut the door...
There seems to be a sink hole forming in the basement near my bed, I think I will just not do anything about it and hope the house falls in and we all die...If it ends up in the news...think of me at peace! finally!
It will read like this: "Three people and a cat were tragically killed when a sink hole opened up and swallowed their home in Spokane, Washington last night...."
Jen the misery spreader...