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Deef, Aunt coming this week, if it isn't a UTI it is probably time to have serious talks....
Hope Tut is doing better!
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I will not make late afternoon appt for my mom again. She did well, but she was obsessing greatly. Sundowning!!! I did not take that into consideration when I made the appt. A lesson learned today because while we have not seen any real dramatic changes in our mom since she was moved to memory care, I saw today the changes and how dependent she is has become. I always see mom in the early morning hours or early afternoon. I think it is time to visit later so I can get a better idea of how she is doing within a 24 hour period.
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Tut had a vet appointment today and got an all clear from the pathologist on all counts. His chronic ear infections are the culprit for the adenomas and polyps. they also took blood for diabetes and I should have the results for that tomorrow. He is drinking less since he has recovered from the surgery so maybe it was stress causing his sugar to spike after all. I will take him to the vet every 3 weeks for now to make sure the ear remains infection free and no special diet for food allergies. that's a relief as that would be very expensive.
Susan, been there, done that! Mom dropped a big dookee on the shower floor and then stepped on it and mashed it into the drain! Horrible mess to clean for sure. Oh yeh! If I never have to do someone elses toenails again, I will die happy!!
ypiffani, no offense taken! Even the most patient of us caregivers has a knick name for the ones we care for!
Austin, your vet should be able to show you how to administer the fluids yourselfRip has done it many times over during her rescue days.
Sharyn, Glad to hear your reveal party was a hit! Good luck with your neighbor!
Jen, sounds like FP is near the end. I hope that is soon for your sake.
Bobbie!!!!!!!!
Off to bed. Another long day tomorrow.
Deef
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Have the solution here ypiffani, Grandpa just came up with it...He said, He doesn't want to eat or drink anymore.....because it just comes out again... Yes, it's called the digestive process...Getting really good here....
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At the VA with Dementia Dad, (apologies to those who find that insulting) he was being an a$$ kept rolling away from me and glaring at me like he was daring me to come get him. Asked me to take him to the bathroom, though he pees in his brief on the way we go anyway... go into the handicap washroom and there is another vet showering. There are three things in that bathroom... a handicap toilet a shower and a sink... the shower being occupied by the vet which do you think Dad chose to pee in.... the sink. yeah... the vet comes out and asks if I'm going to clean that up? WHAT UP? "that muthafu@#$% just pi$$ed in the sink!" "so sorry he has dementia" went in and he was standing there about to turn around... "WTF ARE YOU DOING"... 'I gotta POOP". yeah...no joke. we barely made it to the toilet before he let that one fly.
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had that one too Juju..."You get this special time with your Grandpa to yourself and n one can take that away..." I try not to look disgusted when someone says that...Looking forward to him being taken away soon here!
Deef! um...ew! Flying toenail scudgies yuckos!
Austin, I hope your kitty is doing better, not eating is really not a good sign, but they can't find anything? ?
If we could all be on the boat bobbie man I think we'd have to start bailing! Wish I were there!
Susan..........a yeah, been there, bleached that!!! Gah, I mean really, the degree between won't allow assistance and really need it...is a hairs breadth!
Day Health called said Grandpa refused to use the toilet or change his depends, all day long...Either he has the UTI again, very possible, or this is one step toward placement...Mom's upset, he's upset, we're all upset! God when does this end?
Have a weekend all, put in your adverb of choice...I just don't know anymore...Jen
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Hi everyone!

Austin~sorry your kitty is back at the vets. That is strange your kitty won't eat, yet there is nothing wrong with him. I hope it all works out.
Juju~Good to hear from you. I know what you mean about your mother not being there anymore. People just don't realize what you are going through and they say things.
Susan~Oh your poor mom and poor you having to clean it up. It is a fine line to balance letting you help and doing things for themselves.
It is heating up here, in the 90's and some nasty humidity along with it. The reveal turned out well, the babies are definitely 2 boys.Glad it is over but miss my daughter too. Taking mom out for a haircut and color this afternoon, a late appointment but today is the only day I have to do it. Mom did ok at the reveal, but it really was probably not a good idea to bring her as most of the people there, she did not recognize including my daughter. Every time me or my sister left the room she was in, she got concerned we were leaving her. Other than that she did ok. She wants to go back and live in her home, I can see there is no going back even if we could do it for her.Her house sold and every has been turned over to the new owners now. Bittersweet but less work for me to contend with.
My next door neighbor is about 75-78 years old and her eldest son lives with her after going through a very nasty divorce. My neighbor, Shirley, has mobility problems due to a car accident when she was young...she broke the femur in one leg. She was a forklift driver and had an accident involving her knee on the same leg...this was back in the early 90's. As she got older, circulation problems developed with edema. Now she uses a walker in her house. Anyway, she fell on Mother's Day around 3am in the morning, her son was not home, she called her other son. He told me that she had to have 15 stitches in her hand, broke 4 fingers and would have surgery on Monday to reset the bones. I have not seen her son to find out how she is and I don't want to go over there because she prefers her privacy and independence. I have offered to help her in the past before her sons became involved and she would politely tell me that her sons would take care of it. We have been neighbors for 30 years and she and I, while never what you would say are good friends, but we have done a few things together over the years. Anyway, I respect her privacy, so I will wait until I see her son out to ask about her.
Have a good day and I hope you can all find a little time to something good for yourselves. Hugs to everyone!
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ohhh gross out for the day:

Mom took a shower this morning, and apparently didn't realize she hadn't cleaned herself very well after her last BM. Guess where that ended up....yup...embedded in the surface of the shower chair and literally plugging one of the drain holes in the shower chair. Gross, gross, gross. Mom is still somewhat independent and will not allow me to help her with toileting or showering...so I have to just clean up after her when I find these things. The amount of "stuff" on the shower chair was incredible...I told her about it and asked her to please ask me for help if she feels she needs it. Trying so hard to help her maintain some independence, but there comes a time....
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Morning everyone
Time is flying by, been nearly 2 weeks again since i have been here! I need to check in more...i have been so crazy buzy and completely exhausted at the same time so it has been really difficult. I need to get my follow up appt at dr's done and see if there is something more wrong.Besides complete and utter exhaustion and isolation from the 24/7 without a single sole who is here for companionship or assistance. i literally physically shut down by mid afternoon, for the past several weeks/month this has been going on.
I mean how the heck am i supposed to get out or get us out to find a church or social group when i can barely keep things going as is and they are only getting more draining, more to do as she declines. I must reflect on where i was a year ago and at least i have a better disposition on things. and a better understanding and relationship with my mom and am much more patient with her. that has enriched both our lives. negative energy doesn't do any good.
Your comment jen about how aging degrades one. i could not agree more.
I was upset a bit by a comment friend made about mothers day...said just enjoy your mom at least you have her.....that is farther from the truth, there is no mom there anymore....she is my newborn, needing me for survival. and how the hell can i enjoy her when it is just another day of never ending diapers feeding lifting,and then watching her stare into her lap and pick dog hair from the blanket for the entire time we are "enjoying each other". on the positive, it is worlds away from where i was when i joined this thread. i was bitter angry depressed distraught, and many more words. unable to cope or move forward with anything. I do have a much better attitude and patience with mom. things are so completely different for us in that respect!!!! it is the exhaustion that shortens my patients now and i recognize it right away and correct it. anyway
battery is dying & got to get my stuff done now.
Hope all goes well for everyone, deef and Austin, hope kitties are doing ok!
Peace,
Juju
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Deef! Thousand points in the gross out contest!

Austin! I hope they figure out what's going on with your cat. Sorry to hear that he is back at the vet's.

I was lucky with mom's feet. She had the most beautiful feet and toes and didn't have any of that fungus or thick skin so yes, what the doctor is saying about old age is bs.

A beautiful day here after a real frog strangler of a rain yesterday.

OK, boaters coming up. Love to everyone.

lovbob
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My cat had to go back to the vet's yesterday he just will not eat even with taking the med for appetite stimulation so they are giving him IV's and going to put a tube down and force feed -I will call this afternoon to see what is going on-it is very upsetting -I think there has to be something wrong with him-this is not normal.
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Toe nail fungus is slow growing and slow to get rid of. In advanced stages it affects the skin around the toes...looks like dirty skin built up thick and callused. It can become painful too. When you clip the nails, there is a powdery flaky dust. You can use OTC products like Fungicure or Fungicare but you must use it 2x's daily for months mostly likely 9-12 months. Tea Tree oil will also work as well as Oregano oil but you must follow the same procedure of 2x's a day for many months because the fungus is slow growing. Once it looks like it is under control and possibly cured, do not stop using...it will come back so it is a life time procedure like brushing teeth. My mother has it too, we use tea tree oil...$10.99 for 1 fl oz. and if used 2x's a day will last a month. It is comparable to the OTC Fungicure. If the infection is really bad, it will take longer to see results. Cut the nails as short as you can to begin treatment as nails take about 6 months to grow back out. You can go to a podiatrist to have them cut the nails as short as possible to begin. The tea tree oil works because I have used on myself, but it is an on going treatment and even if you only apply it once a day, it will still work but takes longer.
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ohhhh Deef. You hit my Achilles Heel. Feet/toes. Mom's feet are a wonder of grotesqueness to behold. No amount of soaking, scrubbing or lotion helps. Doc says it's not a fungus, just thickened skin from old age, and that nothing will help. She has what almost looks like layers of dirt all over her ankles and heels and on her toes. I say it's a fungus, because it will respond to some treatments temporarily and then continue growing when treatment stops - and how can it *not* be a fungus? I've seen plenty of older people whose feet don't look like this, so it's not just "old age". I just don't buy that. Nails are thick and if not cut every week, can darn near require a brush hog to cut - and they have that lovely cheese-textured crap under them, Deef, just like you mentioned.

I have moved past the athlete's foot cream and powders (which don't work), the vinegar-Listerine combo (that started to clear it up, but made her feet burn, so had to stop), and the Vicks Vapo-Rub (which didn't work) and now I'm on to trying Tea Tree crystals, which are supposed to clear up darn near anything.

Now here's the kicker (pardon the pun): we have a cat - a stray that we adopted, got fixed and updated on shots. He has the oddest habits and will chew on or eat just about anything. Now, I'm pretty grossed out by Mom's feet as it is - but add this into the mix and I'm about to toss my cookies: I'm cutting Mom's nails one day, trying desperately not to gag as the toenails are flying up at my face and across the room...when I suddenly hear this *crunch* *crunch* noise. I look over, and there sits the stupid cat - EATING A TOENAIL. I swear, the cat has gone insane and is determined to take me with him. It will be a short trip at this rate.
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Deef you take as many points as you want for the toenails. GROSS. Your patio and garden sound great though.
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Okay, I just have to gross you all out with this one!!! I'm still washing my hands.....
Blanche told me yesterday that her toe hurt and she took off her sock to show me. I took a very quick glance and said I would bring special clippers today and try to trim them for her. Big MISTAKE!!!!!! Not only were the nails Howard Hughes look a likes, but there had to be 10+ years of what my family lovingly (joke!) calls toe cheese!!!!! Oh my God!!!! She has not been able to shower or bathe for years and does as many elderly do by washing herself at the bathroom sink. She always says she has to wash her feet before getting dressed in the morning, but my guess is that does not ever include a soak. So not only were the nails, all of them, a half inch or longer, but they were thick from layers of dead skin and whatever else found it's way under them. that stuff was flying in every direction as I slowly clipped away! Even got hit in the head a few times. Don't know how I made it through without losing my lunch! Hands down, had to be the worst experience of my life!!!
How many points do I get for this one?????

In the meantime, been super busy with yard work and planting. My daughter and I built us a patio along side the fence. Of course we got the bright idea on Monday morning, the first really hot day we have had here. So halfway through, I got sick! I figure it was heat stroke and me not drinking enough water. Needless to say, I was in bed most of the day. Of course we didn't get enough pavers and had to go back the next day for more, but we finished it on Tuesday and the results were very satisfying. Of course the best part was doing it ourselves without the men to supervise. We out our glass topped umbrella table in the middle and bought 4 barn red plastic stacking chairs and a new umbrella. Then we built a corner area for a plant box and made a small brick wall around the edge and then added our pots of herbs. Have 3 pots of basil going now and can't wait to harvest some for pizza and bread. we should have leaf lettuce and radishes in 3-4 weeks and will probably plant the rest of the veggies this weekend. But first I have to clean out the weeds and prepare the ground for planting. Hope to get all of that done tomorrow. We already have buds on our raspberry plants and a few tomatoes on the cherry tomato plant. My neighbor just told me she has rhubarb to harvest, so I found some great recipes and plan on trying a few.
Jen, let them have it! Don't know why we have a gall bladder in the first place considering how many are walking amongst us without one! Hope you have good luck at your appointment.
I have to take Tut to the vet tomorrow where they will determine if he is diabetic or not and I imagine will be getting a prescription for his food from Then we go from there. Okay, this is early for me, but my head is spinning from too much doing today!
Talk soon,,love Deef!!
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bobmiester! Agree, take the d*mn thing out and shoot it, I wondered if I could even see it, but I know medical waste has become a "security issue"...what ever. I had it for 43 years...hope they don't kill me on the operating table. I know how much doctors hate fat women...slightly less than teenage boys and slightly more than Rockstars...OY is right...Wish I could throw my uterus in as a bonus...
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Bobbie good to hear from you I had my gb out a few years ago-Carlo did a couple of months ago-not a bad surgery nowadays -maybe FP will be nice to you for a while. My cat is home but they did not have the med in stock to stimulate his appetite so have to pick that up today-he only ate a bit so far so hope the meds work -I am not ready to have him leave me-we have been through so much together the last 11-12 years. My brother did not get admitted but goes for a breathing test Sat and to a lung doc in two weeks-why he has to wait that long is beside me-the medical group he goes to-really the only one in 3 counties is much too big for their britches -the 4 docs who formed that group in the mid 40's would be so discouraged if they could see their dream today.
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Jen! Oy!
I had to fire my gallbladder as well.
Tried to get them to put it in a mustard jar and give it to me but for some reason they said no.

Did feel better after that for sure.

Mame!
Meanwhile!
Cuz!
DEEF!!
Susan!
Austin!
Kuli!
Sharyn!
Assanache!
Everybody!

lovbob
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things were goin' too good here so I decided I need to have gallbladder surgery to spice em up a bit...Go for consult two weeks...Beh...Jen
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Mame, change can be hard to deal with. So glad you had a great birthday, you deserve it. Deef, hope Tut is doing well. My sister and I got to ride at a friends place on Sunday. Had a great time, and another friend showed up with her horse. She had a stroke year and half ago, that left her in the hospital for 3 months and many more months of rehab. So was so great to see her back riding again. We took lots of breaks, and took it kinda of easy for Linda, but she did great.
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Happy Mother's Day!
Hi to all! Been a while. Busy here-and have been in a terrible funk. I turned 50 yesterday and today is Mother's Day so my spirits are lifted. Fun with family and friends. Mom sang to me by phone twice yesterday! Once while I was on a surprise horseback ride that my son took me out on! Haven't been in 12 years and it was just like riding a bike! Loved it! And the hubby who said he would never get on a horse (they have a mind of their own!) went with us! It was amazing. Maybe I can ride on this for a while and keep that funk from settling back in. Hoping this will be the month hubby finds a job! Been too long. Mom is good at the NH and all that is falling into place as time marches on-but it has really been a tough and anxiety/guilt ridden adventure for me! But,I am getting there! Weather is good here so that helps! Birds are singing, dandelions are taking over but that's ok I guess...we can't control everything! As hard as we may try! HA! Hope all are well. Been reading but not replying...forgive me please but when I am in a funk I just can't muster the energy. Love that you are all here for me! Thank you!!! Have a good day. Mame
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Happy Mothers' Day!

lovbob
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Well the neighbor with MS is home for 6 weeks. He has been staying with his daughter last couple of years. 1st day here and he fell off his ATV and couldn't get back up. Fortunately he carries his cell phone at all times. My sister and I managed to get him up and back inside. It is so sad, he is 2 years older than I am, and in a wheelchair for the most part. Before the MS he was in law enforcement, very strong, now he has to have help with so much, and it really hurts his pride. Before he went to stay with his daughter, my mother had adopted him. Took him meals all the time, cleaned his house. I don't think he realizes mom can't do any of that any more. The next 6 weeks may be busy for me.
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THAT is not a good entro to Summer Cuz!!!
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Och, Cuz, that still hurts.
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Summer's finally here. I got stung by a hornet today. Didn't get any weird side effects so I guess life goes on.
luvCuz
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Deef, so glad Tut is doing well! That soft cone sounds like a Godsend. I remember my 100-lb monsterdog looking like a demented Hoover walking around in the yard trying (unsuccessfully) to sniff the ground.

Today has been *insanely* busy.
--Received Mom's new scooter today. It was delivered by semi, so there was a huge semi parked on our very small residential street, causing no end of curiosity from the neighbors. One of them actually parked a chair in his driveway across the street and sat there watching the goings-on. LOL
I wrestled it out of the humongous box it came in, unwrapped all the foam and such, and rolled it up the ramp and into the house. It's charging now, so we'll test it out tomorrow.

--Old family friends that we hadn't seen in years dropped by unexpectedly for a visit - really brightened Mom's day, and I was SO glad she had showered this morning! (After tearful pleas from me last night and my explaining as patiently as possible that she is NOT the only one living in this house, and to make me live with the odor caused by her not showering is very unfair....that seemed to get through. I hope it lasts.)

--A case of wine showed up via UPS today - a mistake on my part for not canceling a "wine sampling" program I signed up for. (Sigh) Love my wine, but wasn't planning on getting a case! I noticed the charge on my debit card a week ago and tried to get the company to cancel it, but they wouldn't, so I'm the proud owner of a case of wine, I guess. I did get them to cancel any future shipments.

--Another shipment, this time from USPS of Mom's incontience pads from Amazon - I ordered 3 huge packages so that we don't run out, now that she's finally changing them more frequently. This way I don't have to run to the store.

--And ALL FIVE of my clients decided they needed work done today, so here it is 7pm and I'm still working, with another 5-6 hours ahead tonight. I'm re-heating Chinese food from yesterday for dinner for me, Mom had a Stouffer's lasagna. Not exactly the best start to my "healthier eating" plan!

However...with all of this, there are blessings. With my work, I can afford to buy Mom's pads, etc that she needs. The new scooter will enable her to get out and about more and perhaps go for "walks" with me and the dog (her on the scooter, me walking). And I got more than my share of exercise today wrestling with the scooter, plus the visit from old friends was a wonderful surprise. One of them has had cancer for a long time, and lives in another state...so who knows if we will ever see her again - so this visit was very special. I know Mom hadn't seen this person in at least 20 years.
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Deef, glad Tut is home, and I sympathize a total alteration of food habits with various pets is complicated. Hope it works out!
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Tut is doing well. We brought him home late in the afternoon and he ate for the first hour here! He's used to grazing on dry food all night and couldn't have any after midnight the day of surgery. The polyp came out easily and they believe they got it all in one piece. But he has little adenomas in the ear canal as far down as they could see. Samples were taken for biopsy and we should hear something in a couple days. Vet thinks they may be caused by food allergies so that could mean a very expensive diet for Tut. It will not be easy as we have 4 cats and they all eat together. We won't be able to leave dry food out all the time if Tut can no longer eat it. The other choice would be to feed them all the same food and that would be a huge expense. As it is they all eat Weruva wet food and a good grain free dry. Apparently protein, specifically meat products are what cause allergies in cats. Go figure, his favorite foods are meat and fish! Then he still has to be tested a couple more times after he's feeling better to see if his sugar is still high. If it's down, it was stress causing the spike, but he can be turning diabetic and that would be another reason for a different diet.
He came home with a cone around his neck. Fortunately they now make soft padded ones instead of those hard ones. He spent all his waking moments trying to get the thing off! He can still reach his ear to scratch, but it does deter him some. I'm going to have to rent him out to make him earn his keep! I have antibiotics and pain killers for him. You should see him 10 minutes after he gets the pain killer. He's higher than a kite and his pupils are like saucers! He lays on his back and stares at the ceiling and gets a silly look on his face. We're hoping he's more used to the cone and will sleep better tonight.
Took three 2 mile walks today! First with my daughter at 9 this morning, then in the afternoon with my husband and they my friend called after dinner and asked if I wanted to walk with her. I said why not! All that fresh air has me closing my eyes as I type. I did weeding and raking at Blanche's after lunch and trimmed her rhododendron that was getting choked out by bittersweet. Then I raked up more stuff around her house.
After that my daughter and I went to Lowe's and picked up plants, mulch and rock to use in our yard. Took a stop at the greenhouses again and got a cherry tomato plant, some herb plants, peppers and jalapena plants and more flowers for Memorial pots for the end of the month.
Sharyn, sounds like a fun party! Hope you get through it and everyone has a great time.
Jen, your mom doesn't know how lucky she is to have you!
Susan, glad you are getting more clients, but sorry you have to work so hard! $$ is always an issue here as well as in almost every household that supports a care giver. Just one of the many draw backs and one I haven't found a solution to yet.
Okay, my restless legs are jumping like crazy!!!! Going to take my meds and get to bed! Night everyone! Hope you all have a good week!
Deef
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Already got my Mother's day gift for Mom, and got her a "Care Giving" card I found too, and have signed FROM Grandpa to her!
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