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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman and wished I were as beautiful. When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle. She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she passed a smile. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm. I talked with him, he seemed so glad. If I were late, it'd do no harm. And as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind. It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, “I'm blind." Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes; the world is mine.
Later while walking down the street, I saw a child I knew. He stood and watched the others play, but he did not know what to do. I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join them dear?" He looked ahead without a word. I forgot, he couldn't hear. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two ears; the world is mine.
With feet to take me where I'd go.. With eyes to see the sunset's glow. With ears to hear what I'd know. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.
If this poem makes you feel thankful, just forward it to your friends. After all, it's just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for! Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty!
Mame, it takes time to adjust to such a major change. It's so hard to let go of all that stress. Be nice to yourself. Jen, your doing so awesome. Hopefully, he will be gone soon.
because she is nuts....PT just got here. I made a sandwich and came in here with dumb barking dog...what ever...Yes set old fart pants up for two timers a week, what on the days we use to run his errands,ma does this make sense...?
Sorry Jen-that he is back. It took us a few trips down rehab roe to know it was finally time...it may have been time before-but wasn't right for me...till now. I'll keep you in my prayers! Mom had an exceptionally good day yesterday! She was so up and "with it." It was amazing. My bro came in from out of town to have dinner with her at the NH and called me and said the same thing! It was such a nice surprise! I will have to call my sis later to and see how she was today. (I take the weekends off) We shall see! Feeling a bit better after my last melt down. Crying is such a release. Thanks for all your sympathy and support! Learning what my new normal is! Snowing here today. UGH. When will it end!!!!! Laughable. Have a decent weekend all. Mame
What ever...I don't care...it feels different, he is quieter, maybe he will die soon...I don't know...back to ignoring him, and he knows to leave me the h*** alone... Have a good weekend everyone...Jen
Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!"
Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I hear ya can drink dat jet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.
Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis mornin"
Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?"
Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?"
Ole says, "No dat jet fuel iss great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often."
Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."
Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"
Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"
Ole stopped to think. "No"
"Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Iowa
OH, stop laughing and forward this to someone who needs a good laugh!
Mame, you are doing the best you can. I started to have hallucinations a couple months before my mom died. It was really scary. I was always anxious, tired, angry and had lost any ability to "get things done". I was forgetting to pay my bills, take my meds, and got very little sleep. I was getting to my breaking point and knew I would have to do something to save myself. Then mom upped and died and everything changed but not really. It's been 8 months and I still don't feel free to do as I wish even though I can now. My house is still a mess, piles of unfinished business, cleaning, etc. I still have mom's things in her apartment and go through a bit here and there. None of my sibs has offered to help or even called to ask for some of her things. I'm not afraid to go through and get rid of her things, just can't get myself going. I finally decided to start taking care of myself a couple weeks ago. I'm still busy with Blanche and wish I hadn't put myself in the position of care giver again, but I found it hard to refuse my BIL and sister after all they did for me and mom, even though they were far away. I got myself back on "Lose IT" online and started to exercise every day. I've lost 7lbs already. The exercise is giving more energy and helping me to lose the weight faster. I was at my heaviest ever when mom was alive and hit 172 after the holidays. I'm under 5'2" and always kept my weight under 150, so I was in pretty bad shape. Each day I do more and feel better about myself. I've stopped waiting on my husband after 44 years and get in my car and go off on my own when I feel the need to be alone. I still don't sleep that well and can't get rid of the feeling that it's not okay to sleep in yet, but I can't wait for the day I wake up and find I have slept for 10 hours straight! That will be a first in over 7 years. Just hang in there and take it one day at a time. Your mom sounds safe and happy. And yes, let your sibs visit and put their time in now. You certainly don't have to forgive them and don't feel guilty if you take some time off from visiting mom to take care of yourself. Being a caregiver takes a toll on all of us no matter how long or how hard we had it. It's definitely not something our hearts, minds and bodies recover from instantly or completely, but it does get better eventually. Just remember we are all here for you and don't stop writing about how you feel. It does help. Jen, How about you put some firecrackers in that commode? Bobbie, Hope the boat move goes smoothly! Used to love the Deadliest Catch! Mom's caregiver Merry, was born on the Aleutian Islands and worked for one season on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea. Also worked in the canneries and on a processing ship. Said it was the dumbest thing she ever did! Almost went down with the ship during a bad storm. Sharyn, sorry about your job change. Hope you don't have to move too far.
Cuz~ Iam sorry your mil is in final stages. You always are so positive with your posts, prayers for you and family.
Jen~I am keeping high hopes for you, prayers and blessing to you! Mame~I know what you are experiencing. We are here for you. I know that being told you can continue to advocate for your mother is not the same as hands on. Adjusting to a different way of taking care of mom can take some time. PTSD is very difficult to deal with, I have flashes of past abuses, memories, and feelings, ... it is hard to explain.sending you love, hugs and angels.
My employer has transferred me out of town...I tried to fight it by calling the union and bring in a statement from my mother's dr. It didn't help. This is something we all have to deal with being employed with this company, they can and will transfer employees randomly . My mother's house is up for sale, another loss I am going through. Sis has been diagnosed with CHF. Mom's hos=use will probably sell this week as we already have offers in less than a week.
The good news is, my daughter is doing great, no morning sickness. She does get fatigued easily which is understandable. Today she had an appt. the ultra sound tech guessed at the genders ( I am not saying the guess), we will know more on April 29. The gender reveal will be on May 10th. Blessings to everyone...Hugs to all!
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Mame! Don't be sorry because you haven't ever done anything wrong. Just keep writing it out and know that you are not alone. PTSD surfaces in many forms and what so many of us as caregivers have experienced is traumatic. Think of the first responders to that landslide in Washington. They chose to become medics and firemen and they still get crazy after just days of that trauma.
We, as caregivers, did not choose to be put in this situation but we wound up dealing with 24/7 care day in and day out for years. It will make us have stress responses because it is traumatic.
No apologies for us who cope the best way we can in spite of others and their disregard for us.
Cuz! Love to J and all of you and I hope that your MIL's transition is peaceful.
DEEF!!!
Jen! How are you doing?
Meanwhile! Everybody!
OK, I am moving the trawler out of the yard tomorrow and will bring her back to this little spot. I have a Deadliest Catch Captain on the boat with me in that he fished the Gulf of Alaska and the Bering Sea for 22 years. Hopefully the Atlantic will be a pond and we will move this barge without drama.
Austin! How goes your love life? We all love that you are in love!
Thanks for letting some light in Cuz! Needed that. Funny how some things can really speak to you. Think I am learning just what PTSD is Bobbie...I didn't realize. I just got an email from this website with a question that really hit home-about How do you get anything done when you have to caregive 24/7... I thought I could read it and give an answer based on my experience. Her angst and the answers that followed made me feel so claustrophobic! I couldn't answer, I started to shake and wanted to throw up. I had to just log out and leave it. I later told hubby about my reaction and I couldn't stop the tears. He tried to say that everyone's experience is different and I get that-but it all sounds the same! The sibling who won't help...and years of telling them or demanding don't do anything but alienate you... I am so incredibly sad and trying to move on.... They are there for her now while she is up in the NH which is good...but the damage to my psyche is done... I love my mom, I would do it over again for her-but maybe have other things in place to save myself a bit... I don't know. Hindsight. I feel terrible putting her in a home, I never wanted it to be this way.... But it is. I know it is best for me. Physically & mentally. But it makes me sad. I know I am not a failure...but it feels that way sometimes. I am having trouble getting anything done. Going to see her is such a chore-and to be honest, it is terrible seeing her up there with all those extremely needy people and the yelling by the patients etc. And there are some very mean patients!!! Mom and her roommate are so sweet-we lucked out there. They are known as "the sweet room!" I feel she is so vulnerable there... It is so hard to let go and trust she will be cared for. A sister in law told me I should have done this 3 years ago. She has no idea what this is doing to me-I wasn't ready then and I don't think mom was either. I know this is the right time now-but it is awful. Even if it is right. I hate this. I am sorry to be such a downer. I am trying to enjoy and be thankful for the little things... It just consumes me sometimes. Thanks for listening.
Meanwhile, 80 degrees? Sure hope we actually get a spring here this year. I hate it when it goes from winter right into summer. I like the cooler 60's of spring and fall. But we do need the heat for our garden. I'm already getting requests for my homemade salsa. Guess I'll be busy with that as soon as the tomatoes ripen. I made about 60 jars last year and sold all but 1 case that I kept for me. It's too bad tomatoes are so expensive out of season. As for the plumbing, I usually try to figure it out on my own as my husband takes no interest in doing anything that requires patience! I swear he plays dumb just to get out of doing things!!! Did you ever finish the old adobe house you were working on? Cuz, hope MIL goes peacefully. Jen, how you doing? Okay, past my bedtime here! Night everyone, Deef
Meanwhile I was just looking at my facebook and there was a picture on there that, I thought of you when I seen it. It was of an elderly lady in a hospital bed bed and the caption was My last wish. They had brought her horse into the hospital room so that she could say her last goodbye. I know that you are not old but when the time comes I hope they could do this for you. Hugs luvCuz
Yes as you have read I do read Woman's World. I hope that By putting these on the thread, I can open some of the dark holes that you might be in and let some light in. Thanks for letting a non-caregiver be apart of this thread. You gals have all gone through some of the worst case scenarios of caregiving and if I can say that you have done a wonderful service for the person that you have been so faithful in caring for. I love you all for this. Please have a great night. Hugs to all. LovCuz
Grab some happiness today! When you're feeling overworked, overwhelmed or just less than your best, it's okay to put yourself first. Remember, your to-do list doesn't get to rule your life; you do! Stress can wait; your sanity can't. You know what makes you smile. Go for it.
You hold the secrets to happiness within you. Joy isn't something you have to wait for or seek. It springs from the way you look at things: as possibilities. From what you see in yourself: the best. From how much hope you let into your heart. Which means you can be happy anytime. Including now.
Your happiness is worth investing in! So often, you put something or someone else first. Which means, unfortunately, that what you need and want often comes last. But it's okay to say yes to yourself now and then. In fact, it's more than okay: It's essential! You count, too!
You have the secret to transforming your life, No wonder you're worn out. But you don't need coffee supplements, energy drinks or a spa. The real cure to fatigue is fast and free: It's putting some "me" back into your day. Doing something that makes you happy works wonders!
Let yourself succeed! Let yourself dream; Let yourself believe. That's what makes great things happen in your life: opening your heart and mind to every possibility and to your own potential. Allowing yourself to reach for the very best. Because you deserve no less.
Deef Update on MIL. We were there today for 3 hrs and she is ready to go. Her body is shutting down. The pain meds have taken her memory also. She saw me today and said "Oh there is that other man." She didn't know who I was at first. The wife had to explain to her that she was the baby of the family and she just looked at her and said OH. The wife is taken it all real good right now because we know who she was and see through the meds and just hope for a peaceful end to a 96 and 3/4 year life here on earth. The three daughters are ready and have asked that the angels come and take her. Its sad to watch someone that could beat you in a scrabble game 6 months ago with no problem to the shape she is in right now. Thanks for all the concerns. We do appreciate them. Hugs to all. luvCuz
Deef, good to hear from you. Your certainly staying busy. Good luck with that plumbing. Have you tried a plumbing snake? Had a shower plugged up, and had to flush the drain from the back yard with a garden hose, and snake the drain from the shower side. Replaced a bathroom sink in one of the project houses this afternoon. But, need a new connection under the drain. So don't know if it's going to leak or not yet. Last Friday a mobile home caught fire and burned to the ground, a block away from this project house. No one seriously injured, but they lost everything. It is pretty spring like here. 80 F. today, but very dry. Send rain.
Sister called for update on Blanche. Her son calls her every Sunday night at 7. Hope she can carry a conversation with him tonight! Supposed to warm up here this week, with showers each day. I'd like to start yardwork too, but I have so much to do in the house right now. My daughter and her husband are on vacation this week, so the plan is to clean out the storage room on the second floor so I can turn it into my craft room. Then after I move all my crafts up there, I can concentrate on rearranging my apartment. I just spent the last 4 days trying to unclog my kitchen sink. Husband says call a plumber, but I need a new counter and sink and don't have the $$ to do that right now. So I took the pipes apart under the sink and they were clear. Now I have to go into the cellar and remove the end cap on the pipe that leads to the sink drain and hope I can find the clog. The waste pipe on my side of the house needs to be replaced soon, but I'm hoping it will hold out until I get the front porch floor replaced this spring. Always something in a 130 year old house! Juju, how's it going with your renovations? Meanwhile, been out riding those horses? Sharyn, how is your daughter feeling? Bobbie!!!!! keeping that dock clean? Been thinking of you and really want to come for a visit some time. It definitely won't be during the summer. I hate the heat and loathe humidity!!! Good thing you are near the water! Off to do the dishes and feed the cats! Hope everyone has a good week. Deef!!!
How's your MIL Cuz? Sounds like she's ready to go. Mame, Glad to hear your mom is settling in. Tough choice for you to make, but there has to be a point at which we all need to let go, hard as it is. I hope you can get some rest and some peace soon. Jen, sounds like your mom is in denial. Maybe she will come to her senses and realize that leaving FP where he is will be the best thing for all. Austin, I hear you! Yard is too wet here to even walk over. After all the rain last night, I need to drain the pool cover again. Still got some ice and snow piles where the sun doesn't hit. Usually we have daffodils and crocus flowers every where in March, but not this year. Keeping my fingers crossed for warmer weather. Tired of paying for fuel!!! Blanche is feeling better but still has the cold. I've been running back and forth a couple times a day all week.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman and wished I were as beautiful.
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad. If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, “I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes; the world is mine.
Later while walking down the street, I saw a child I knew.
He stood and watched the others play, but he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join them dear?"
He looked ahead without a word. I forgot, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two ears; the world is mine.
With feet to take me where I'd go..
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I've been blessed indeed, the
world is mine.
If this poem makes you feel thankful, just forward it to your friends.
After all, it's just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for!
Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty!
I have been truly blessed with AWESOME FRIENDS!
Jen, your doing so awesome. Hopefully, he will be gone soon.
Mom had an exceptionally good day yesterday! She was so up and "with it." It was amazing. My bro came in from out of town to have dinner with her at the NH and called me and said the same thing! It was such a nice surprise! I will have to call my sis later to and see how she was today. (I take the weekends off) We shall see!
Feeling a bit better after my last melt down. Crying is such a release. Thanks for all your sympathy and support! Learning what my new normal is!
Snowing here today. UGH. When will it end!!!!! Laughable. Have a decent weekend all. Mame
What ever...I don't care...it feels different, he is quieter, maybe he will die soon...I don't know...back to ignoring him, and he knows to leave me the h*** alone...
Have a good weekend everyone...Jen
Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!"
Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I hear ya can drink dat jet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.
Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis mornin"
Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?"
Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?"
Ole says, "No dat jet fuel iss great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often."
Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."
Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"
Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"
Ole stopped to think. "No"
"Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Iowa
OH, stop laughing and forward this to someone who needs a good laugh!
I finally decided to start taking care of myself a couple weeks ago. I'm still busy with Blanche and wish I hadn't put myself in the position of care giver again, but I found it hard to refuse my BIL and sister after all they did for me and mom, even though they were far away. I got myself back on "Lose IT" online and started to exercise every day. I've lost 7lbs already. The exercise is giving more energy and helping me to lose the weight faster. I was at my heaviest ever when mom was alive and hit 172 after the holidays. I'm under 5'2" and always kept my weight under 150, so I was in pretty bad shape. Each day I do more and feel better about myself. I've stopped waiting on my husband after 44 years and get in my car and go off on my own when I feel the need to be alone.
I still don't sleep that well and can't get rid of the feeling that it's not okay to sleep in yet, but I can't wait for the day I wake up and find I have slept for 10 hours straight! That will be a first in over 7 years. Just hang in there and take it one day at a time. Your mom sounds safe and happy. And yes, let your sibs visit and put their time in now. You certainly don't have to forgive them and don't feel guilty if you take some time off from visiting mom to take care of yourself.
Being a caregiver takes a toll on all of us no matter how long or how hard we had it. It's definitely not something our hearts, minds and bodies recover from instantly or completely, but it does get better eventually. Just remember we are all here for you and don't stop writing about how you feel. It does help.
Jen, How about you put some firecrackers in that commode?
Bobbie, Hope the boat move goes smoothly! Used to love the Deadliest Catch! Mom's caregiver Merry, was born on the Aleutian Islands and worked for one season on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea. Also worked in the canneries and on a processing ship. Said it was the dumbest thing she ever did! Almost went down with the ship during a bad storm.
Sharyn, sorry about your job change. Hope you don't have to move too far.
Jen~I am keeping high hopes for you, prayers and blessing to you!
Mame~I know what you are experiencing. We are here for you. I know that being told you can continue to advocate for your mother is not the same as hands on. Adjusting to a different way of taking care of mom can take some time. PTSD is very difficult to deal with, I have flashes of past abuses, memories, and feelings, ... it is hard to explain.sending you love, hugs and angels.
My employer has transferred me out of town...I tried to fight it by calling the union and bring in a statement from my mother's dr. It didn't help. This is something we all have to deal with being employed with this company, they can and will transfer employees randomly . My mother's house is up for sale, another loss I am going through. Sis has been diagnosed with CHF. Mom's hos=use will probably sell this week as we already have offers in less than a week.
The good news is, my daughter is doing great, no morning sickness. She does get fatigued easily which is understandable. Today she had an appt. the ultra sound tech guessed at the genders ( I am not saying the guess), we will know more on April 29. The gender reveal will be on May 10th. Blessings to everyone...Hugs to all!
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Peace to MIL Cuz...
Safe sailing bobbie
Consumed here too Mame...
she's put in the baby monitors and has mentioned..." a commode..." God Help Me?
jen
Don't be sorry because you haven't ever done anything wrong. Just keep writing it out and know that you are not alone.
PTSD surfaces in many forms and what so many of us as caregivers have experienced is traumatic.
Think of the first responders to that landslide in Washington. They chose to become medics and firemen and they still get crazy after just days of that trauma.
We, as caregivers, did not choose to be put in this situation but we wound up dealing with 24/7 care day in and day out for years. It will make us have stress responses because it is traumatic.
No apologies for us who cope the best way we can in spite of others and their disregard for us.
Cuz! Love to J and all of you and I hope that your MIL's transition is peaceful.
DEEF!!!
Jen! How are you doing?
Meanwhile! Everybody!
OK, I am moving the trawler out of the yard tomorrow and will bring her back to this little spot. I have a Deadliest Catch Captain on the boat with me in that he fished the Gulf of Alaska and the Bering Sea for 22 years. Hopefully the Atlantic will be a pond and we will move this barge without drama.
Austin! How goes your love life? We all love that you are in love!
lovbob
Think I am learning just what PTSD is Bobbie...I didn't realize. I just got an email from this website with a question that really hit home-about How do you get anything done when you have to caregive 24/7... I thought I could read it and give an answer based on my experience. Her angst and the answers that followed made me feel so claustrophobic! I couldn't answer, I started to shake and wanted to throw up. I had to just log out and leave it. I later told hubby about my reaction and I couldn't stop the tears. He tried to say that everyone's experience is different and I get that-but it all sounds the same! The sibling who won't help...and years of telling them or demanding don't do anything but alienate you... I am so incredibly sad and trying to move on.... They are there for her now while she is up in the NH which is good...but the damage to my psyche is done... I love my mom, I would do it over again for her-but maybe have other things in place to save myself a bit... I don't know. Hindsight. I feel terrible putting her in a home, I never wanted it to be this way.... But it is. I know it is best for me. Physically & mentally. But it makes me sad. I know I am not a failure...but it feels that way sometimes. I am having trouble getting anything done. Going to see her is such a chore-and to be honest, it is terrible seeing her up there with all those extremely needy people and the yelling by the patients etc. And there are some very mean patients!!! Mom and her roommate are so sweet-we lucked out there. They are known as "the sweet room!" I feel she is so vulnerable there... It is so hard to let go and trust she will be cared for. A sister in law told me I should have done this 3 years ago. She has no idea what this is doing to me-I wasn't ready then and I don't think mom was either. I know this is the right time now-but it is awful. Even if it is right. I hate this. I am sorry to be such a downer. I am trying to enjoy and be thankful for the little things... It just consumes me sometimes. Thanks for listening.
Cuz, hope MIL goes peacefully.
Jen, how you doing?
Okay, past my bedtime here! Night everyone, Deef
luvCuz
Hugs to all.
LovCuz
Grab some happiness today!
When you're feeling
overworked, overwhelmed
or just less than your best,
it's okay to put yourself first.
Remember, your to-do list
doesn't get to rule your
life; you do!
Stress can wait; your
sanity can't.
You know what makes you smile.
Go for it.
ww
You hold the secrets to
happiness within you.
Joy isn't something
you have to wait for or seek.
It springs from the way you
look at things: as possibilities.
From what you see in yourself:
the best.
From how much hope you
let into your heart.
Which means you can be
happy anytime.
Including now.
WW
Your happiness is worth
investing in!
So often, you put
something or someone
else first.
Which means, unfortunately,
that what you need and
want often comes last.
But it's okay to say yes
to yourself now and then.
In fact, it's more than okay:
It's essential!
You count, too!
WW
You have the secret
to transforming your life,
No wonder you're worn out.
But you don't need coffee
supplements, energy drinks
or a spa.
The real cure to fatigue
is fast and free: It's putting
some "me" back into
your day. Doing something
that makes you happy
works wonders!
WW
Let yourself succeed!
Let yourself dream;
Let yourself believe.
That's what makes
great things happen
in your life:
opening your heart
and mind to every
possibility and to
your own potential.
Allowing yourself
to reach for the very best.
Because you deserve
no less.
This was from Women's World magazine.
lovCuz
luvCuz
It is pretty spring like here. 80 F. today, but very dry. Send rain.
Supposed to warm up here this week, with showers each day. I'd like to start yardwork too, but I have so much to do in the house right now. My daughter and her husband are on vacation this week, so the plan is to clean out the storage room on the second floor so I can turn it into my craft room. Then after I move all my crafts up there, I can concentrate on rearranging my apartment.
I just spent the last 4 days trying to unclog my kitchen sink. Husband says call a plumber, but I need a new counter and sink and don't have the $$ to do that right now. So I took the pipes apart under the sink and they were clear. Now I have to go into the cellar and remove the end cap on the pipe that leads to the sink drain and hope I can find the clog. The waste pipe on my side of the house needs to be replaced soon, but I'm hoping it will hold out until I get the front porch floor replaced this spring. Always something in a 130 year old house!
Juju, how's it going with your renovations?
Meanwhile, been out riding those horses?
Sharyn, how is your daughter feeling?
Bobbie!!!!! keeping that dock clean? Been thinking of you and really want to come for a visit some time. It definitely won't be during the summer. I hate the heat and loathe humidity!!! Good thing you are near the water!
Off to do the dishes and feed the cats! Hope everyone has a good week.
Deef!!!
Mame, Glad to hear your mom is settling in. Tough choice for you to make, but there has to be a point at which we all need to let go, hard as it is. I hope you can get some rest and some peace soon.
Jen, sounds like your mom is in denial. Maybe she will come to her senses and realize that leaving FP where he is will be the best thing for all.
Austin, I hear you! Yard is too wet here to even walk over. After all the rain last night, I need to drain the pool cover again. Still got some ice and snow piles where the sun doesn't hit. Usually we have daffodils and crocus flowers every where in March, but not this year. Keeping my fingers crossed for warmer weather. Tired of paying for fuel!!!
Blanche is feeling better but still has the cold. I've been running back and forth a couple times a day all week.