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woo hoo Good news Jen! Get your house back and then your life back! Spring is coming and you will have a nice clean house with no FP reek!!
Cuz! so glad to hear about your bro my other Cuz! I can just hear you telling the doctor about the rod and reel! funny stuff. So happy cuz, jr is stable and will go fishing again this summer! You know where there is some good fishing?
Mame! Good to see from you and I hope you are getting some sane time!
Meanwhile! Juju! Ow with that tooth! I had dry sockets with 4 wisdom teeth that got smashed to bit and plucked out all at the same time and man oh man that was some pain. They gave me Percodan and after a few days it made me throw up so I gave up and just did the best I could without it. Ow Ow Ow!! Vicodin would have been welcome but you know you are in pain when that stuff doesn't even touch it! Hang in Juju!
Austin! You got Boat Time! Boat drinks with little umbrellas and chunks of pineapple!
ok, we have been battling marsh rip or rip rap or whatever you want to call sawgrass that grows in a marsh and dies off and ends up floating under the clubhouse pilings and getting stuck. And getting stuck between the boats and the dock and getting stuck anywhere it can. Today we had a 5 people out there with long poles poking and pulling at giant masses of the stuff trying to get it to float out on the outgoing tide.
We are in a new moon so the tide is the highest and the current is the fastest all month so when that stuff starts going it moves at about 4 knots. The marsh grass will be bad for the next few weeks and then it should slow down and not come at us in giant islands. Ass Kicker.
In addition we are approaching no see um season. These little bloodsuckers make vampire bats look friendly. If there is no wind they come and orbit your head like the dirt orbited Pig Pen in the Peanuts comic strip.
If you don't do the no see um dance when you are going inside and rub your hair and your clothes and hop up and down and act the general fool, they will come in and get into bed with you and then in the morning you wake up with bites all over and the bites itch like stupid.
Other than that this is freaking paradise. hahahaha No kidding!
Bobbie what a wonderful narrative of life on the dock. sounds so peaceful. Jen cuz mame good to hear from ya, want to add more but cant think....I am so out of it this morning! This tooth issue is cursed, it has been increasingly painful and just about unbearable today...think I may have got drysocket from nausea the other day, dislodged the clot...whatever one whole side of my face is crazy throbbing pain and nothing is helping today, not even the vicodin. This is no fun it has been 8 solid days of pain n getting worse now, and I am grumpy and not able to get a whole lot done!! shooootttt!!! this is rough! Anyway well hang in there all! Peace Juju
Oh Jen what good news-I remember what a relief I was when the husband went into the hospital and then rehab the 15 times the last few yeas of his life-and even better when the social worker told me not to go to see him every day. I am sure the staff at rehab will tell you both he needs to be placed-he did it to himself .
Oh I forgot to tell you that my brother had the diffibulator - pacemaker put in and everything looks good. We had it checked out last thursday and he found out that if he gets to close to a strong magnet that this thing starts making a noise. Like a solid humming noise. If it makes a noise that goes up and down he has to call 911. The dr said if the diffibulator goes off he will feel like he got kicked by a horse. They said if he had a cup of coffee in his hand when it goes off he will probably throw it. I cracked up when he said that. I also told the dr that we would have to tie a lanyard from his wrist to his fishing rod so he doesn't throw a $200.00 rod and reel in the drink. I thought the dr was going to pee his pants he was laughing so hard. Hugs to all lovCuz
Oh, Jen things will work out. Hope you can enjoy some free time with old FP in the hospital. Funny jokes Cuz, we can always use a laugh. Thanks. Sorry about the tooth Juju, but sounds like your really making progress on the house. Stay warm everyone. Spring is just around the corner.
good god cuz! we may hit 10 below here with wind chill...In like a lion this year I think... And February is going out with a bang...well a trip to the ER anyhow...Grandpas cold went to coughing up a ton phlegm and he was listless and mom just addled! I said you need to call 911....She is losing it! Paramedics came fever 102, smelly urine...yep,,,Deef we have gotten a UTI....good luck there! or bad luck. So far news is he is there till Mon and then he goes to nursing care for at least six weeks...and then possibly come back here...so what we wondered about is here. What ever. go get some Pepto pills for my gut on the way back up to the hospital...Oh and we had the worst time in the ER....shift changes, lost orders, miss diagnoses, people not able to get in touch with other people, and though it wasn't busy we were in the ER me STANDING for 9 hours...Wiped out here. S much for swimming and errands...what the hell ever...Is this coming ot a close? Mom has at least realized in the state he is in now, we can not care for him here any longer... Oh and all the people who asked if we had him "At Home" we shocked. That tells you...Oh and when we came in...he didn't say shit to mom, but did his usual "Good Morning Jenny!" In front of the nurses...twice... God I hate you you fucking pervert! Oh and he has had a pneumonia shot...Piss up a rope!
Mom is doing well at the NH and seems happy. Her PT and OT are going well Her hands are looking better but now a pinky is starting to contract and they really can't do anything without a Dr directive and the hand Dr who did the surgery says no. I gotta argue with him about it now... If mom stays in this NH she will not stay on the rehab floor...so we will have to go thru the "getting to know you" stage all over again. Oh well, we will see. My house is quiet without her and the dog. So strange. Overwhelmed with Medicaid app and son's surgery pre op visits and paperwork and hubby still out of work. Some days I feel so defeated. Ugh. The weather doesn't help either-and having to go out in it every day to the NH! UGH. Spring can't come soon enough. The sun has been nice occasionally this week and the birds are back in the yard. Keeping the feeders full so they can eat and keep warm! Thank God for small favors. Great jokes cuz! Jen-hugs to you. Hey Meanwhile and Bobbie and Austin and Sharyn and Juju, Deef, Kuli, LisaRose, assandache and any newbies or drive by's! Keep warm everybody!
Jen our temperatures tonight are crashing to an actual -15 to -35 below. This is going to be one of the coldest nights on record for this time of the year, In the last hour we have dropped over 5 degrees. We are at -8 right now.
60 is the worst age to be," said the 60-year old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
Exasperated, the 60-year old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied ... "Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his eyesight
Snow Blind yes! Man tired of it here and I reserve the right to beef about it when we hit 104 degrees in July...It's the weather, we can't change it, but we can b**** about it...
I have canceled my last three attempts at getting a dental appt. no money...yes, lol if it kills you...Grandpa has a cold...a bad cold...and Pneumonia used to be called "The Old Man's Friend"......
We shall see....He is going off food, mom is upset, I can't get out tomorrow now she has to run errands and he can't be left alone...fine fine what the Hell ever...
Hope everyone has a good weekend and Spring comes soon...Jen
She could have been scrubbing the toilet with it. Lol. Find the humor in things like this and have a good belly laugh. Then make an appointment for dental cleaning.
These things can happen in today's hi-tech world . . .
A man received the following text from his neighbor: I am so sorry, Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt, and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
Hi everyone, Nice to here all the baby news! Angel, my bestie, had a whopping 8lb6oz and he was her smallest baby... even "itty bitty" (Ryan, the middle son 8) who is very tiny frame, now, was bigger than him. She cooks em well, lol!!! I broke into tears meeting him....Simply amazing! I cannot even remember the last time I held a newborn that young, maybe never??. It is simply a miracle....blew me away, the creation of life is a miracle. I tear up just thinking about it! Also her foot is doing much better now without the pregnant belly. She can walk for the first time in many months.....she is very relieved about that, she was very concerned about her ability to get around with the newborn.
Anyway that morning before visiting him I had my broken tooth worked on Well I have been in pain since, severe pain! Looks like there was not enuf tooth left and they built a filling on a nerve they exposed so I had to have it pulled late yesterday....still quite painful but I know it will subside in a couple days....but for now, ouch! I only had a moment to decide pay out of pocket for a root canal and crown or pull it out. I already am being pre-approved for a partial as my teeth meet the reqmts (are bad enough/required number of missing teeth) so he recommended just pull it and be done! It will be a while, June before the first appt for that process but I need the time to heal now, maybe even a bit longer. Glad it is done tho. It has been a miserable past few days and couple more.
Jen it is amazing what mentioning nursing homes can do -now you need to get leaflets from a few to put around the house and ask him how many boxes he will need to pack up what he wants to take with him.
Bobbie I am glad to read about it and visualize the scene there...got a foot of snow here...my fault I washed moms car in the garage, was tired of the dirt so I used a spray bottle and rag and shined it up but good...It'll look real nice in the SNOW tomorrow IF we can get out of the driveway... Yes, was a blow up yesterday, mom had another moment of having ENOUGH! of his lying, whining, Bull S*** and used the Nursing home card...Yes, all the sudden he is using the toilet again and washing his hands and not saying his shoes don't fit and stuffing napkins down them to raise his foot, then taking his socks off to get his feet In the damn shoes....See how long the "good times" last.....Jen
Cuz! Wow and what a commitment! Hugs and kisses to you for at least forever. Funny jokes too.
Thanks Cuz for being here. I hope you can come and fish this here creek!
Beautiful sunrise this morning and before the light I rinse the bird poop off the dock. I think I might have written about this before: birds have no spincter, therefore it just comes out wherever they happen to be standing, namely this here dock. Since the birds are pterodactyl size and this is bird heaven there are many opportunities to turn on the hose and squirt the squirts.
There's a Great Blue Heron and many Egrets that live here and when I go out early there is squawking and general complaining from them even though they have retreated from the dock and are in the trees by the creek for the day.
There are also ducks and pelicans and doves and otters and dolphins. The dolphins feed early in the day and the otters are the most amazing fishers. I see guys come up in here with all the best equipment for world class trout fishing and the otters can show them up every time.
I am lucky to be here and I enjoy it for as long as it will last because I know that nothing lasts forever even though we think it will. That goes for good stuff as well as bad.
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
At the root of every grey hair, there is a dead brain cell.
Someone had to remind me, So I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true!
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or beyond!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run -- Anywhere. 4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?' 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM. 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks Into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in big print For your convenience.
Forward this to everyone you can remember. Right now!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER,under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana ." "Good grief . . . is that where the job is?" "No sir . . . that's where the end of the line is right now."
bobbie I just sent you an e-mail but I found the poem. Lov ya Cuz
mariesmom
Give a Hug
Aug 18, 2011
I waded into the ocean thinking I was being careful. Had my sunblock on and my rubber ducky around my waist - and my brothers were on shore so if I got into trouble they could rescue me. I was doing Ok for a while, determined that I could adapt and thrive despite having never been in the ocean before. After a time I became aware that I'd been drifting. There was so much going on - what with the waves and the wind and the sun in my eyes and all the while concentrating on keeping afloat. But now I realized I was in over my head - something I'd never intended. I immediately began calling out to my brothers - they should have been able to hear me. They knew what I was doing and they should have been looking out for me. I could see them on the shore, laughing and having drinks and so engaged in their own lives they never once turned to look out to sea. It was as if they didn't want to know if I was in trouble. Didn't want to rescue me . . . I struggled out of my floatie and tried swimming back to shore, but the current had me, and by now my energies were waning. There was nothing to do but ride it out, and I turned onto my back and began to float. The sunblock was gone, my face burning, and I told myself this couldn't go on indefinitely. The tide had to change, the current weaken. I just had to hold on. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, storm clouds began to gather, and the waves were tossing me about, and then the rain fell so hard and fast I was struggling not to drown. And while I fought, I realized there were shadows under the water - dark, murky shadows in the quiet depths that were gathering around me, and even as I fought I began to consider if the struggle to stay afloat was even worth it. I was exhausted with my efforts. There was no hope of rescue. Maybe it was time to give up. And then the boat arrived. And a lifeline was thrown around my neck. And on the boat there was a group of sunburned, windswept women - beautiful women - many of whom still had seaweed in their hair. And together they reached out and they pulled me from the water, and they gave me my own place in the boat. And they welcomed me with words of comfort and understanding, and they wanted to know my story, and they wanted to tell their stories. And it didn't matter to these beautiful women what if any God I worshipped, or what language I spoke, or my ethnicity, or bank account, or political affiliation, or even my bathing suit size. The prerequisite for being on the boat was simply the willingness to help others who have waded into the water and found themselves in trouble. Share the sun block. Pump up the rubber ducky. Throw out a lifeline. And when possible -help them find a reason to laugh. --- Now who's up for another slice of gator tail pie with balz sauce? La la la
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Get your house back and then your life back! Spring is coming and you will have a nice clean house with no FP reek!!
Cuz! so glad to hear about your bro my other Cuz! I can just hear you telling the doctor about the rod and reel! funny stuff. So happy cuz, jr is stable and will go fishing again this summer! You know where there is some good fishing?
Mame! Good to see from you and I hope you are getting some sane time!
Meanwhile! Juju! Ow with that tooth! I had dry sockets with 4 wisdom teeth that got smashed to bit and plucked out all at the same time and man oh man that was some pain. They gave me Percodan and after a few days it made me throw up so I gave up and just did the best I could without it. Ow Ow Ow!! Vicodin would have been welcome but you know you are in pain when that stuff doesn't even touch it!
Hang in Juju!
Austin! You got Boat Time! Boat drinks with little umbrellas and chunks of pineapple!
ok, we have been battling marsh rip or rip rap or whatever you want to call sawgrass that grows in a marsh and dies off and ends up floating under the clubhouse pilings and getting stuck. And getting stuck between the boats and the dock and getting stuck anywhere it can. Today we had a 5 people out there with long poles poking and pulling at giant masses of the stuff trying to get it to float out on the outgoing tide.
We are in a new moon so the tide is the highest and the current is the fastest all month so when that stuff starts going it moves at about 4 knots. The marsh grass will be bad for the next few weeks and then it should slow down and not come at us in giant islands. Ass Kicker.
In addition we are approaching no see um season. These little bloodsuckers make vampire bats look friendly.
If there is no wind they come and orbit your head like the dirt orbited Pig Pen in the Peanuts comic strip.
If you don't do the no see um dance when you are going inside and rub your hair and your clothes and hop up and down and act the general fool, they will come in and get into bed with you and then in the morning you wake up with bites all over and the bites itch like stupid.
Other than that this is freaking paradise. hahahaha No kidding!
lovbob
Jen cuz mame good to hear from ya, want to add more but cant think....I am so out of it this morning!
This tooth issue is cursed, it has been increasingly painful and just about unbearable today...think I may have got drysocket from nausea the other day, dislodged the clot...whatever one whole side of my face is crazy throbbing pain and nothing is helping today, not even the vicodin. This is no fun it has been 8 solid days of pain n getting worse now, and I am grumpy and not able to get a whole lot done!! shooootttt!!! this is rough!
Anyway well hang in there all!
Peace
Juju
Hugs to all
lovCuz
Sorry about the tooth Juju, but sounds like your really making progress on the house.
Stay warm everyone. Spring is just around the corner.
And February is going out with a bang...well a trip to the ER anyhow...Grandpas cold went to coughing up a ton phlegm and he was listless and mom just addled! I said you need to call 911....She is losing it! Paramedics came fever 102, smelly urine...yep,,,Deef we have gotten a UTI....good luck there! or bad luck. So far news is he is there till Mon and then he goes to nursing care for at least six weeks...and then possibly come back here...so what we wondered about is here. What ever. go get some Pepto pills for my gut on the way back up to the hospital...Oh and we had the worst time in the ER....shift changes, lost orders, miss diagnoses, people not able to get in touch with other people, and though it wasn't busy we were in the ER me STANDING for 9 hours...Wiped out here. S much for swimming and errands...what the hell ever...Is this coming ot a close? Mom has at least realized in the state he is in now, we can not care for him here any longer...
Oh and all the people who asked if we had him "At Home" we shocked. That tells you...Oh and when we came in...he didn't say shit to mom, but did his usual "Good Morning Jenny!" In front of the nurses...twice... God I hate you you fucking pervert!
Oh and he has had a pneumonia shot...Piss up a rope!
Great jokes cuz! Jen-hugs to you. Hey Meanwhile and Bobbie and Austin and Sharyn and Juju, Deef, Kuli, LisaRose, assandache and any newbies or drive by's! Keep warm everybody!
60 is the worst age to be," said the 60-year old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
Exasperated, the 60-year old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00."
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's hospital,
saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied ... "Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his eyesight
I have canceled my last three attempts at getting a dental appt. no money...yes, lol if it kills you...Grandpa has a cold...a bad cold...and Pneumonia used to be called "The Old Man's Friend"......
We shall see....He is going off food, mom is upset, I can't get out tomorrow now she has to run errands and he can't be left alone...fine fine what the Hell ever...
Hope everyone has a good weekend and Spring comes soon...Jen
A man received the following text from his neighbor:
I am so sorry, Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.
I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, probably more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.
I can no longer live with the guilt, and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
Nice to here all the baby news! Angel, my bestie, had a whopping 8lb6oz and he was her smallest baby... even "itty bitty" (Ryan, the middle son 8) who is very tiny frame, now, was bigger than him. She cooks em well, lol!!!
I broke into tears meeting him....Simply amazing! I cannot even remember the last time I held a newborn that young, maybe never??. It is simply a miracle....blew me away, the creation of life is a miracle. I tear up just thinking about it! Also her foot is doing much better now without the pregnant belly. She can walk for the first time in many months.....she is very relieved about that, she was very concerned about her ability to get around with the newborn.
Anyway that morning before visiting him I had my broken tooth worked on
Well I have been in pain since, severe pain! Looks like there was not enuf tooth left and they built a filling on a nerve they exposed so I had to have it pulled late yesterday....still quite painful but I know it will subside in a couple days....but for now, ouch!
I only had a moment to decide pay out of pocket for a root canal and crown or pull it out. I already am being pre-approved for a partial as my teeth meet the reqmts (are bad enough/required number of missing teeth) so he recommended just pull it and be done! It will be a while, June before the first appt for that process but I need the time to heal now, maybe even a bit longer.
Glad it is done tho. It has been a miserable past few days and couple more.
Have a good day all!
Peace,
Juju
Yes, was a blow up yesterday, mom had another moment of having ENOUGH! of his lying, whining, Bull S*** and used the Nursing home card...Yes, all the sudden he is using the toilet again and washing his hands and not saying his shoes don't fit and stuffing napkins down them to raise his foot, then taking his socks off to get his feet In the damn shoes....See how long the "good times" last.....Jen
Wow and what a commitment!
Hugs and kisses to you for at least forever.
Funny jokes too.
Thanks Cuz for being here. I hope you can come and fish this here creek!
Beautiful sunrise this morning and before the light I rinse the bird poop off the dock. I think I might have written about this before: birds have no spincter, therefore it just comes out wherever they happen to be standing, namely this here dock. Since the birds are pterodactyl size and this is bird heaven there are many opportunities to turn on the hose and squirt the squirts.
There's a Great Blue Heron and many Egrets that live here and when I go out early there is squawking and general complaining from them even though they have retreated from the dock and are in the trees by the creek for the day.
There are also ducks and pelicans and doves and otters and dolphins. The dolphins feed early in the day and the otters are the most amazing fishers. I see guys come up in here with all the best equipment for world class trout fishing and the otters can show them up every time.
I am lucky to be here and I enjoy it for as long as it will last because I know that nothing lasts forever even though we think it will.
That goes for good stuff as well as bad.
lovbob
'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.'
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A.
Someone had to remind me, So I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true!
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or beyond!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- Anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks Into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in big print For your convenience.
Forward this to everyone you can remember. Right now!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER,under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
Gynecologist's Assistant
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana ." "Good grief . . . is that where the job is?" "No sir . . . that's where the end of the line is right now."
mariesmom
Give a Hug
Aug 18, 2011
I waded into the ocean thinking I was being careful. Had my sunblock on and my rubber ducky around my waist - and my brothers were on shore so if I got into trouble they could rescue me. I was doing Ok for a while, determined that I could adapt and thrive despite having never been in the ocean before.
After a time I became aware that I'd been drifting. There was so much going on - what with the waves and the wind and the sun in my eyes and all the while concentrating on keeping afloat. But now I realized I was in over my head - something I'd never intended.
I immediately began calling out to my brothers - they should have been able to hear me. They knew what I was doing and they should have been looking out for me. I could see them on the shore, laughing and having drinks and so engaged in their own lives they never once turned to look out to sea. It was as if they didn't want to know if I was in trouble. Didn't want to rescue me . . .
I struggled out of my floatie and tried swimming back to shore, but the current had me, and by now my energies were waning. There was nothing to do but ride it out, and I turned onto my back and began to float. The sunblock was gone, my face burning, and I told myself this couldn't go on indefinitely. The tide had to change, the current weaken. I just had to hold on.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, storm clouds began to gather, and the waves were tossing me about, and then the rain fell so hard and fast I was struggling not to drown. And while I fought, I realized there were shadows under the water - dark, murky shadows in the quiet depths that were gathering around me, and even as I fought I began to consider if the struggle to stay afloat was even worth it. I was exhausted with my efforts. There was no hope of rescue. Maybe it was time to give up.
And then the boat arrived. And a lifeline was thrown around my neck.
And on the boat there was a group of sunburned, windswept women - beautiful women - many of whom still had seaweed in their hair. And together they reached out and they pulled me from the water, and they gave me my own place in the boat. And they welcomed me with words of comfort and understanding, and they wanted to know my story, and they wanted to tell their stories. And it didn't matter to these beautiful women what if any God I worshipped, or what language I spoke, or my ethnicity, or bank account, or political affiliation, or even my bathing suit size.
The prerequisite for being on the boat was simply the willingness to help others who have waded into the water and found themselves in trouble. Share the sun block. Pump up the rubber ducky. Throw out a lifeline. And when possible -help them find a reason to laugh.
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Now who's up for another slice of gator tail pie with balz sauce?
La la la