Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Oh Mame, so sorry. Deef, your Blanche reminds me of stepdad's mother. They put her in a nursing home (I was still in college). We had a schedule so there was a friend or family member there everyday. Sometimes 2. Even after she had been there 2 months, the 1st thing out of her mouth "Oh I'm so glad to see you, no one has been to see me since I've been here". She gave everyone the same line everyday. Of course she really didn't remember, poor thing.

Mame sometimes you just have to holler -I had a meltdown with my primary's nurse last Fri and I got an appointment with a specialist in 2 days instead of 4 months like the last time I needed to see a specialist-sometimes getting angry is the only way to be heard.

Oh Mame, I am so sorry about your dog! Ow Ow!

Good for you to holler about your mom's orders. This is a no win situation and I know how frustrating it is. Staff can be so clueless.

Deef! our winds are picking up t where we are gusting 40 out of the NE. Yesterday it was in the mid seventies and a beautiful sunny day and the temps have been dropping all night and morning.
We have heaters running on the boats and have the hoses ready to run the piped water off the dock when the hard freeze comes tonight.

Cuz! Glad the wife is better and how is your brother and how are you?

Jen! How are you feeling? Hope you steal some cash and go to the movies!

Meanwhile! dry dust storms. Remember them from when I lived in the wild west!

Kara! Vent and Live! It's all crazy and hope to hear from you again.

Juju! Kuli! Sharynmarie! Everybody!

lovbob

Thanks Deef & Meanwhile. Things not going so well. Mom seems worse than when she went to the hospital-minus the fainting. The care she is getting is supposedly the best floor in the place...theywon't remember to put her teeth in, they won't remember to crush her pills in applesauce so she spits them out and the orders say she is a one assist-which she clearly is not and someone is going to get hurt. Her appointment yesterday with the hand surgeon taking out the stitches was horribly painful and I was devastated seeing my mom in such pain. She has to go back in 3 weeks for the pins to be taken out. Ugh. I am trying to lower my standards for her care but I am in disbelief that this home doesn't have more problems. My farthest away sibling is trying to steer my thinking to which aides/nurses are smart and compassionate.... One aide told me she didn't need two to get her into bed-the orders say she can use a walker-I lost it and yelled, "well the f*#king orders are wrong!" I have tried 3 times to have them changed. She cannot even stand on her own let alone use a walker. Why do these ppl think they can tell me what she can do? I know the Dr there and am faxing him a copy of the orders and which ones I know are wrong and demanding they be changed before someone gets hurt. Mom is sleepy all the time... she is ok tho. Have to admit, the siblings are all going and visiting her! Bout time they stepped up. I go up for lunch and Dr visits...they go up for dinner or an evening visit. Rehab isn't going well cause she is in so much pain from her broken ribs. They aren't pushing too hard which I understand but I am afraid her lungs will suffer from so much down time! Damn it is so hard. And then, out of the blue, my dog died last night. Talk about depressed! That's me! God, life is hard. I hate Walt Disney for not preparing me for times like these.

Yup!!! Cold as heck here again! It's 10 degrees right now and then add the wind chill to that. Yesterday morning we woke up to above freezing temps. It actually reached 40, but dropped fast by mid afternoon. Went to Walmart for a few things and when I got out a half hour later, the temp had dropped 10 degrees.
Dropped off lunch for Blanche and told her I would be there for lunch today. She was all agitated because a niece was dropping by and her hair was a mess. They usually take Blanche for lunch so she was in a panic about going out with her hair like it was.Her hairdresser only works on Wednesday and Thursday so I told her she would have to wait for me to get her an appointment. Well the niece showed up and Blanche told her she had an appointment and no one would take her!!! Next thing I know the phone is ringing and it's one of her lady friends calling to tell me that the niece called her and was upset because she thought no one was caring for Blanche. The friend reassured her that everything was fine. Well she decided to call the hairdresser to ask her what was going on, so while I was on the phone with the first lady, the hairdresser was calling me!!!
Long story, short, I called Blanche back and told the niece to tell her she had an appointment on Wednesday at 1 and explained that I had just been there and told Blanche I was going to get her there as soon as I could. She may be 96, but still knows how to push the right buttons to get people to do what she wants!!
Needless to say, I spent the evening doing nothing after that business! I was going to call my brother in law and tell him what was going on, but decided not to put the stress on him. There's not a lot he can do from Va.
I have lots to do this morning including deciding what to make my lady for lunch. My trash guy went out of business with no notice and I have 3 weeks of trash from 3 apartments so first I need to get on the phone and find someone new to do my weekly pick up.What a pain!!
Jen, hope you are all better by now. Meanwhile, you too!
Juju, how's it going?
Sharon, how's your daughter feeling? Hope everything is well with you.
Mame, did you get some rest?
Cuz, Try to stay warm!
Bobbie, You surviving the freeze down there?
Hope you all have a great day! Got to get my rear in gear!!!
Deef

Welcome Kara, post away it helps. Thanks Cuz, I'm feeling better today, broke down and started taking antibiotics and they seem to be helping. Your cold front has reached down here to SW Texas this morning. OK, not nearly as cold as where you are at, but have the 30 MPH winds, no snow, ( I think it is drier here than California), so that means dust storm. Stay warm. .

I have taken all my stuff out of the bathroom mother uses (Yes, I had to.) Then I had to hide her stuff to keep it from a similar fate. I had to take almost everything out of her dresser and night stand because she puts urine soaked underwear, messy clothes (yes, that kind of mess) under the bed, hanging on the the clean clothes in the closet, it's a hide and seek nightmare.

Yes, we all have to laugh or we'd be crying all day, every day.
If we collated all the comments re Gross we'd have a 5000 page book!

That's not good meanwhile The wife was down for the good part of a week. Still has alittle cough but doing much better.
luvCuz

You have a good one to Jen. Monday morning we are going to be 5 degrees with a 15mph wind gusting up to 30mph making the wind chill -15 to -30 for the next 2 days. If that doesn't freeze a well diggers auger I don't know what will.
luvCuz

Gah deef knew that was coming, and it's isn't even over yet! Hope the East gets a break there...

Still alive here, anti biotics working so it was more than a viral/ Beh what ever...Want to go swimming!!! but I feel faint doing the dishes. maybe just the therapy pool...Have a good week everyone...Jen

Mame your a wonderful daughter, been taking care of your mom for a long time. And, you will continue to be there for her even if she goes to the nursing home. You really need to care for yourself. Your mom wouldn't want you to keep killing yourself on her behalf. It takes 2 people to move her, even if she gets better for a while, it wouldn't be long before she was down again.
Hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday. It's warm enough here to go for a ride, but I still have this stupid flu.

Mame, you are doing the right thing for both of you! Take it from someone who stuck it out longer than I should have. Hate to put it like this, but thank God Mom died when she did. I was at the breaking point physically and mentally. I was having hallucinations at night and just falling apart at the seams. I'm sure if I had to do it for another month or 2, it would have done me in for sure!
It's very hard to stay away from the NH with your mom there. I know, I spent every day there with Mom the 2 times she was in rehab. She was not social and did not thrive there. Your mom sounds more social and I bet she does well, but you will have to step back a bit and let nature take it's course. Try to stay away more and see how things progress. There isn't one of us that can let go enough to feel proper car is given after all the time we have invested in their care. But you can make yourself just as crazy trying to make sure things are up to your standards. It's not easy, I know, but try to cut yourself some slack. You are at a breaking point like I was and it won't do your mom any good if that happens! Just do the best you can and try to take care of yourself while you have the time.
Jen, how are you doing? Getting much snow and cold there? Been in the low teens and single digits here for over a week now! Actually got up to the 20's today! Not much snow thought it isn't melting because of the temps. Supposed to get light snow later today into tomorrow.
Just got a $700 oil delivery for one side of the house. Propane delivery due this coming week and I hope the price hasn't gone up too high! That will be another $700+ bill. Both of those are about 4 weeks of fuel for these temps! Got a $1000 property tax bill due on the first too! Guess I better go rob a bank or something!!!
Sharyn, don't you just love all the aches and pains that come with age! Have to admit to a very physical life with jobs that required very heavy lifting, etc. That didn't help matters! I've had problems with sciatica for almost 40 years. Started in my early 20's with some bad episodes a few times. Not fun.
Juju, the icing will help. Over doing can make it worse and will bring on a flare-up for me. But over the years I have found that keeping moving helps the best. Sometimes stretching the wrong way will aggravate mine, but everyone is different when it comes to sciatic nerve pain. I can't sit on hard surfaces or wear high shoes. Reaching up high for something can set it off too. Once you know what triggers it, you can get some control over it. I sure hope it eases up for you soon!
Meanwhile, 70 degrees sounds so far away right now! Although I hate the summer heat, I could go for some warmer temps at this point!
Bobbie!!!!!!!
Been to Blanche's house every day this week, sigh, getting to that point I guess! Cleaned off her driveway twice this week. Second time in below zero wind chills. The hot cocoa she made me after sure tasted great!
Started on some organizing and cleaning this week, so I guess I had better get back to it while I have a day off from my lady friend! Husband just went to get burritos from the local Mexicalli Grill!
Hope everyone has a good weekend and stay warm if you can!
Deef

Hi All. Busy, stressful week here. Mom was in hospital for 3.5 days and after a lot of stress she has gone to a NH for rehab. She is so deconditioned-not using her legs at all. She is at least a 2 person assist in moving...and of course has cracked ribs from moving her. At least the fluids they gave her helped and she no longer faints every time she sits up. The rehab floor in the NH doesn't really seem equipped to handle her...so I am there a lot. Monday I will be begging for a placement on a floor with more nursing care. Well, that is after her appointment at the hand Dr and getting the stitches out of her hands etc. It is so amazingly stressful. I am praying all the time I am not there-that she will be safe and well cared for. UGH. I brought a bunch of things from home from her walls etc to make her feel at home...she seems ok. Doesn't like it when I leave but trusts I will come back. Sister and Bro have been up spending time with her too. I hate this. Yes, I have been sleeping at night without a box next to my head squawking... My shoulder is a little better already from other ppl moving her around. Gotta look at the positives right? I am sad, but I know she is where she should be for now. It has all just become too much. Too much. People say that you will know when it is time. I think I am there. But it still makes me sad. Nothing set in stone, but the wheels are turning and moving toward permanent placement. I feel like I am failing her, but I know that she has had 10 good years here with us in our home-and probably would have died long ago left in her own home, not eating right and smoking her life away. And, who is to say that she won't enjoy the social aspect of the NH? She may do just fine. I don't know. As I said, nothing is set in stone yet, but this is how I feel today... Sad, but in desperate need of this break. And feeling it is time. God help me. Ugh. Sorry I don't have the energy to speak to each of you. I have been keeping up with you all and feeling your pains and joys... Know that I appreciate you all and will be able to call out to each of you again soon. Just gotta get thru this chapter. Mame

Brrrrrrrr......

Michigan is the place to be 4 to 6" of snow with 15 to 30mph winds. I have a drift in my driveway right now that is at least 3'. Time for the blower in the morning. Temp right now is 7 so the windchill is -15 plus. Supposed to be 26 by 7am but then drop back down to 12 by noon with -15 t0 30 again for saturday. No swim suit or shorts I guess yet.

Juju, pain shooting down your leg does sound like a pinched sciatic nerve. Maybe the Dr will Px some physical therapy. Stretching exercises helped my sciatic. Sharyn, I have an sinus infection, or something too. Yuck, don't have time to be sick. Of course temperature dropped to 14 degrees last night. Indio fed and watered all the animals for me this morning (bless his heart), but I had to get the goats milked. He just can't milk a goat. Cuz, thanks for the laugh.

Juju-I now it may be hard to do this but try an ice pack on your lower back.put it on the lower back on the same side of the leg that hurts. It sounds like sciatic nerve pain.
My back is better now,I do have pain in my right knee at night, the doc says it is bursitis and again, I use ice to get rid of the inflammation and pain. It works but is cold this time of year.
Got to get busy lots to do here today and I woke up with a sinus infection, hopefully it wont go into bronchistis.
enjoy the day!

HI everyone, keeping busy here, how are you??....

Meanwhile 70 degree sounds great...it was beautiful here yesterday, so sunny and bout 60..it has been so overcast till early afternoon, was nice! We seem to be avoiding the polar cold fronts here on west coast!

Glad your doing better Jen.

Hope your back gets better quick, sharyn....

That reminds me, the neck and arm pain I was having so bad back last spring/summer has diminished to almost nothing I think it was stress related.
I am still having issues with pain in my hands and thumb which I had been told is arthritic and tendonitis issues. I have been also having increasing pain in my leg...it is kinda weird cause I cant tell where it is starting, it kinda shoot thru the whole leg the hip knee down to my foot. somethimes it hurts more at hip and sometimes feels like the knee etc. Mostly at the end of the day or laying in bed it will start to ache... Anyway I have a dr appt next week and with this state healthplan and see what up and check into a therapist too. Went to the dentist and the new coverage only cover my issues if meet certain criteria and I do...they are bad enough, hahaha anyway so they will submit me for pre authorization and see if I can get a partial to replace what I lost in the last few years.. That will be nice if they cover it.

Hope to have a nice weekend, wish you all the same!
Peace
Juju

For most of us in the Northern Hemisphere, temperatures have been dropping to unbearable levels — Below zero in many areas.

10 SIGNS IT’S TOO COLD TO GOLF

1) Even with Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart in your group, you still don’t feel warm and fuzzy.
2) You have to wear the visor with the plaid, woolen ear flaps.
3) Your hands feel warmer when they touch a witch’s breast.
4) Your cart sinks when it hits an iceberg.
5) It’s hard to read a putt with Tammy Faye Baker icicles on your eyelashes.
6) It drops below the temperature of an IRS agent’s heart.
7) When you fell through the ice, you realized taking a divot on a frozen pond wasn’t such a hot idea.
8) You’re trapped by snow in the course’s restaurant, ominously named the Donner Party Grill.
9) The greens are groomed by a Zamboni.
10) Your balls are blue.

Your not a drag Jen. Glad your feeling better. Soon spring will be here and the pool at the Y will be very inviting. Sharyn, hope your back is better, back pain is sure a drag. Austin, stay warm. Bobbie peaceful dreams and a good nights sleep.
The cold front is supposed to get here tonight, we might even get a little snow. Today was 70 and beautiful. Indio and I saddled up the horses and went for a ride before work. It was great.

Jen~glad you are on an antibiotic and you are not a drag, though a sinus infection is a drag!!

Went to therapist finally, even she said go to doc...and it is across the street duh so just walked in, cold almost gone but got an anti biotic for sinus infection, so doing Ok here. thank you for all the support everyone. I know I am a drag, but well I am a drag...
Just got an email from a friend I have known since 2cnd grade her mom just died...she was 70 and fp just keeps oooozing along...beh

Thanks bobbie, hope's not dead yet. possibly on a respirator but not dead dead...

Loo that mixture would be good for birth control also or being in a crowd to get more space. It is 0 out this am we got about 3 inches Long Island and New York City got about a ft. and with wind chill about 20 below.

Jen~Sorry you are still not well. Have you tried Nyquil. It usually works for me when I have bronchitis. I hate the coughing all night too. Sometimes I would have to sleep on the couch with pillows propped up behind me so I was semi sitting. I hope you feel better soon.
Mame~So sorry your mother has regressed. You do need to rest your back, I hope you can work something out on that.
Bobbie~Funny story, poor guy was probably so embarrassed, LOL!!

I seem to have pulled a muscle in my lower back but have to work today. I have 3 days off starting tomorrow. Taking mom out tomorrow for a hair cut and to dye her hair. She says she turned grey overnight, LOL!! She can't remember the word wrinkles...she complains about the cracks in her face. I can't do anything about the cracks unless she wants to use spackle.

We are getting things ready for the estate sale, moved some furniture over here and just the same old stuff. Still having a drought, the governor declared an emergency. I am loving the day time temps though...yesterday was 67 degrees!
Take care everyone.

Hello fellow Caregivers,
For aching muscles from all the lifting and holding, you could try rubbing with castoroil. Or apply hot towels, then ice cold alternately.
For your coughing, see if this natural anticough mixture will help in any case it will not harm you. Stir 1 pint of chopped onion in one half cup of honey, add 1/2 tsp Cayenne. Keep mixture warm in hot, not on stove, water or a warm place. Take 1 tsp as needed. I have this from a booklet called THE MIRACLE OF ONIONS AND GARLIC. I have not read everything of this site yet. Hope you are helped with these tips.

What it means if a person needs to go to rehab after being in the hospital for 3 days as required and you are not admitted but just kept in observation the 3 days will not count as an admission-you were in the hospital but not admitted this messes it up for the pt. and family who are unable to care for the person at home and need them in rehab-medicare does not have to pay for rehab and at 450 a day in rehab the family will have to pay-as far as insurance or medicare paying for the days in observation I am not sure-I would think the family has to pay for that as well-who voted Obama in anyway.?

Oh Jen,
So sorry you are so miserable. To put up with all of that and to be sick as a dog at the same time. Too Much! I am thrilled that you have retained a disability attorney. Huge! This will be a game changer and you have the right to be optimistic. Go with it.
There is no greater death than the death of hope. Please have some hope now that you have a champion fighting for you.
Remember your prime objective: Live through this and write and create like you were born to do. You are an amazing writer Jen and the highest compliment any writer can be paid is that when we read you we want to know what happens next.

I wish you could get some decent cough medicine with codeine in it. Maybe you can't take codeine but it's the only thing that will stop my coughing long enough so I can sleep and heal. There was one that I used to get that was prescription only that had the expectorant in it so the mess wouldn't stay in my lungs.

It's 4am and I am sitting here making out with the Cat. She's walking back and forth over the keyboard and after rubbing her chops on me tries to turn around and put her ass in my face. Ahhh, Cat's Ass in the face.
Now she's over by her bowl bitching at me.
Not gonna happen Cat. Stand down.

This just in:
SWIMMER TRAPPED BY BEACH BALLS

A Man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deckchair and found his testicles had become stuck between two slats of wood. Mario Visnjic has been swimming naked off Valalta beach in Croatia and his testicles had shrunk in the cool sea. When he sat down they slipped through the slats and then, as he lay in the sun, expanded back to normal size. He was freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deckchair in half.

And there you have it.

Hope everybody has as good a day as they can.
Mame! Let us know if you are able to get any relief for your shoulder and back.
Deef!
Sharynmarie! how is everything in your part of the world?
Austin! Good advice for the hospital! Thanks.
Juju! How goes it?
Kuli! How you doing sweet girl?
Cuz! How is everybody?
everybody! Check in and let us all know.

lovbob

Recently I heard about a hospital not admitting a person-here they often do not admit a person -just keep for observation-the family asked to have the person admitted to another hospital and the hospital personal backed down and did put the pt. in as admitted-if they are not admitted for 3 days they can not go into rehab with medicare and if you have them sent to another hospital the hospital does not get paid for however long they were there so they will listen often if you say you will have them admitted somewhere else.

Mame!
You have got to get a break! Go to the ER and tell the drs you need her to stay in because she is a danger to herself! Or something… I bet the other caregivers here will know what to tell the ER so they keep her for a few days and your shoulder and back and your MIND get a much needed break!

lovbob

Hello to everyone. Been a tough week here and getting tougher. Mom's surgery went great! I was so surprised how well things went that I let my guard down. SLAM-the changes began about 48 hours after... Why do I continually think that when she has a good day or 2 that it might last???? When will I learn? She is back to deconditioned, unable to sit up without fainting... I am back to diapers and lifting. This is all just too much. Have a call into the Dr and there is no way I can get her to him. We will end up in the ER by ambulance. Praying for a diagnosis so she can stay a few days...and maybe rehab at a NH. My shoulder and back are trashed. I just can't do this anymore!