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Pants dilemma

A young man came home from the office and found
his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she
told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a
big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember
that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."
"Yes, and it's lucky you have," said the woman,
drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole."
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IS THERE SEX AFTER DEATH?
A couple made a deal
that whoever died first would come back and inform the other
if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear
was that there was no after-life at all. After a
long life together, the husband was the first to die. True
to his word, he made the first contact:
"Sue..........Sue…" "Is that you,
George?" "Yes, I've come back like we
agreed." "That's wonderful!? What's it
like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.
I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I
have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a
couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud
– lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course,
then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After
supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's
more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep
and then the next day it starts all over again."
"Oh, George, are you in Heaven?" "No, I'm
a rabbit in Kansas ."
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Shary-great news
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Thank you A &A7 and meanwhile...it is great to get some good news for a change.
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Congradulations, Sharynmarie. That is wonderful news.
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Sharynmarie congrats!!! That's fantastic.. Woo hoo!!
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Thanks Juju!! My daughter called last night to tell us she is pregnant. We are super excited for her and for us.

Hang in there everyone, keep swimming Jen!!
Hugs to everyone, hope the weekend is peaceful.
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Juju, great news about your house. So glad to hear you are getting it back. That had to be tough, taking care of your mom, and the construction at the same time.
It has warmed up here today, I'm going to see if my horse remembers how to wear a saddle.
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Good morning everyone.
I miss you all I have not been on the computer too much lately, so much going on here!
Hope everyone bared well with the deep freeze this week.
Cuz, prayers for your brother!
Mame, glad the surgery went well.
I heard somewhere's here first grandbaby for Sharyn! congrats!
Jen, hope you get to feeling better! sucks to be sick!
Bobbie Hey there!
Everyone hope you are doing ok with this life we live! XOXO, I think of you all often!


We are still here plugging along..I am sitting in my living room warm as can be, with a hot cup of coffee this morning! I am grateful to have my heat and flooring back in. Still plenty of work to be done but solid flooring and warmth are making life much easier. Bringing the washer n dryer back from storage so no more laundry mat, I hated putting my clothes in those old icky machines, what was in there before me, hahaha Anyway we have to have an inspector from the mortage company approve the work before we proceed so I am
working on cabinets and counter bids for the kitchen now while waiting! My contractor refered me to someone with great pricing, will do nicer cabinets and granite countertops for less than other bids I got, thrilled about that if it works out!
MOm is having issues with stiffness in her knees real bad, I think I created it by being tooo overprotective since we broke her leg...I just don't want to do anything with her and being so crowded here I just kept her in sitting in bed most days. now I have proper space to get her up and around she does not want to bend her knees easily, I have to start exercising and stretching her out...Otherwise she seems to be doing relatively good!!!
I got my health coverage on the 1st just in time I broke my last good molar on the bottom XMas eve...I have an appt to get it looked at in about a week! and I should make a health appt too, and counseling, this week I will do that!
I know I am sleeping better as I am able to stretch out on a real bed in my own room , separated from my mom, this past few days. I hope that will help with things tooo...still feeling so overwhelmed and stuck depressing lifestyle....very isolated....
But I did get to go to my BFF baby shower alone, without momma, that was a treat....Sr companion offered to come on a Saturday and stay 6hrs instead of 3,
nearly two hours drive each way and just over 2 hrs for the shower. it was rushed but I tried to soak up every moment, put on the radio for the ride and just enjoyed the morning! It was nice not having to get mom up ready bundled up packed in car and out...etc... I was so happy to have had Flo help me out that day! made it nice for me although short!
Ok I guess I should get something started for the day!
Love and hugs to you all!
Peace,
Juju
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yes you do have to laugh it makes it so much easier to get through the daily routine and it is wonderful to know im not alone.
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Turpentine vs. Holy Water

A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine.

He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on
a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'If you rub turpentine on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley-Davidson!'
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The old cowboy
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Moose Jaw, Wyoming for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
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Bobbie we find out next week Friday about the defibulator. They set up a meeting today so when I find out what is going on I will let you know. Love ya
Cuz
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Jen The falling is not a good sign. A friend of ours just went thru that and they had to place her mother in an assisted living because they couldn't pick her up any more. At the place where they have her now they really watch her and under no circumstances can she do anything by herself. That was a huge load off from Cindy's shoulders. She goes to see her everyday but her mom doesn't even know who she is and that is kinda sad. Hope you get better and make it back to the pool OK? hugs
luvCuz
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Oh and the fire dpt just left,,,he fell in the bathroom again and we couldn't haul him up....no, no injuries....
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Hope the defibrillator works they usually do see a huge change in energy after one is placed...

I went swimming Mon then period sick and ice on the roads rest of the week....It's the sick i mind most. I agree wish sickies would stay home!Now I am one, I will!

Have a good weekend all...
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Hey Cuz,
Tell your brother that we all think about him and hope for the best.
Glad the weather is coming around so everybody doesn't suffer from the brutal cold.

Here it's warming up. Was a real record setter to have a wind chill of 6 the other morning. I can't even imagine how bad it was for you guys up in Michigan and Indiana and Minnesota just to think of a few Polar Vortex targets.

Deef!! It is so good to hear what's going on in your life!

Jen! Mame! Meanwhile! Sharymarie! Juju! Austin! Kuli! Assandache! Jessie! Everybody! forgive me for not calling out everyone's name.
It's 3:30am and I couldn't sleep so just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing.
Everyone stay safe and warm.

lovbob
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Well my brother's kidneys are showing some improvement but his heart is not. He is actually in heart failure so now they are talking about putting in a defibulator which will give the heart a little jolt to keep it beating. They said it will be an overnight thing and are going to call him when they can schedule it. The doctor said that because he gets tired so quick that this will improve his heart function and make him feel alot better. I will keep you informed when I find out more. Weather here in Michigan is starting to get better. We hit almost 15 for a high today. It was -6 this morning. Right now we have 4 and it will get in the minus for the morning then start warming up. Friday will be in mid 30's Sat will be upper 30's with rain and Sunday will be in the 40's and sunny. They figure on some major ice jams causing major flooding for next week. Maybe my boat will float and I can go fishing again. Hugs
luvCuz
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Went from near 60 on Sunday and early Monday to near zero Monday night! Had to drag a hose out of the cellar to drain the pool cover which was coming loose and falling in. They said maybe 1/4" of rain, but thought we were going to have to build an ark.
Took Blanche to the bank and grocery store when I thought the rain had ended, not! Picture a 4' 8" 96 year old woman in a skirt with little loafers hoofing it through monsoon rain to the grocery store! By the time I got her home, the temp had dropped 15 degrees and it was snowing like a blizzard! She's a trooper. Was glad to be home but happy she got out for a bit.
Yesterday's windchill was horrible! I had to get some things at Walmart and just getting to the car and loading the bags froze my face! Not ideal weather for someone with Renauds.Today was still cold but getting better. There is lots of ice everywhere because the rain puddles froze so fast and the water had nowhere to go.
Assan, can't wait for the nicer weather this weekend!
Digger, Glad to hear you guys had a discussion. Every day is different when caregiving so don't get discouraged. Every time I made plans when caring for Mom, something always got in the way. Very frustrating and depressing especially after over 5 years of the same. But I somehow made it through and took on the responsibility of keeping an eye on my sister's mom in law less than 2 months after losing my mom. Call me crazy, but there was no other option for her. At least I get to come home away from it all. But of course then I have to be with my husband who has spent the last 3 years on the couch in front of the TV. His idea of retirement!!! That makes me more crazy than caregiving.
Cuz, again, OUCH!! Hope your brother is OK.
Sharyn, wish I had some of your warmer weather right now. Hope things work out for your family.
Meanwhile, I thought of you when I saw the temps in Texas on the weather channel. At least it doesn't last long.
Maxine, I still haven't sorted through all of mom"s things and my apartment is still a huge mess! Took care of Blanche today, so I may take the tree down tomorrow.
Mame, we have all had the stomach bug here. My daughter and her husband got it the worst. It's hitting people pretty hard everywhere. Hope you get to go out with your friends. I'm meeting the 3 women that helped me with Mom for 4 years off and on. Haven't seen them since September, so it will be nice to all get together again.
Husband is out for card night and I haven't done a thing! Guess I better get my arse moving so it doesn't look like all I did was sit in front of the TV. Oh wait! That's what he does!!!
Hey Jen! hope the weather stays like that where you are. Been swimming?
Bobbie!!!!! Still cold down there?
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Saw your post cuz, I managed to break through a 12" thick ice damn dam yesterday, victory was mine. Good luck shoveling, be careful.
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Hi all. Jen-would have cancelled her appointment but because it is to clear her for her surgery Monday-I couldn't chance not being able to get her in again by the end of this week. It went well-altho took forever. More cause the Dr was so busy-not cause he was with her for a long time. Oh well. It was frigid and I had her bundled up. Hubby was a great help. Today we go up to the hospital for pre-op stuff. Still cold but not like yesterday. She is exhausted from yesterday so this should be fun. Not.
We too are supposed to get the rain this weekend. With the warmth, we will take the Christmas lights down. Asutin, I too feel the need to clean the house and put the Holidays to bed. We will see how much energy I have this weekend. Feel like I am getting sick. Walked in to my hubby's family Christmas this past Sunday to a sneezing/blowing sister in law. I hate the holiday get togethers for that reason. If the sick won't stay home, maybe I will. So sick of picking up germs wherever I go! Surely don't want mom getting sick before this surgery can be done! Plus I am supposed to get together with my high school girlfriends and one just had a double mastectomy and will be starting chemo soon. May have to miss that. :( Can't be getting her sick. Oh well.
Feeling pretty depressed but this too shall pass. Cuz-be careful shoveling all that snow off the roof! Sharyn-glad it is working out with your sis's job. Meanwhile-I cannot get over how long a horse lives! I really had no idea. Hello assan, Deef, Jessie, Bobbie...
Just this minute on the TV they said "Hell has frozen over" You guys from Michigan may get it before the rest of us! Apparently, there is a Hell, Michigan....and it froze over! Keep warm all! Mame
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Ah Maine, not even 10 and it's already a toasty 35 and sunny. A week ago it was-35. We had a great talk yesterday, talk not argument. Discussed two questions suggested here, what do you want me to do for her as a caregiver, and how does she want our day to look. But today didn't get off on as good a start, her therapist cancelled and her Dr appointment yesterday was cancelled because of ice. I know about the weather in North Carolina but it's not like this. Get going everyone, have a good day.
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This weather is kooky.. I'm in MA and it's 7* right now buy's it's suppose to be in the 50's by Saturday! As long as the snow stays away I'll be happy...

I hope everyone has a great day!!:-)
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Cuz~Now that is cooollllld!! Praying for your brother too.
Jen~Not too much here, have had any updates from my brother, just what I saw my niece post on FB about most likely going with radiation. My mom is doing good, she always asks to go home of course, I tell her as soon as the dr. fills out the paperwork. She accepts it. I don't remember if I told you all that sis was fired from her job, a formality so she could roll her 401K over to an IRA, once that is done...she will go back to work part-time. She can supplement the 20 hours of work out of the IRA. She will have the same insurance (Kaiser) but it will be through the state instead of her employer and about $150 a month less.
Just waiting to hear more from my brother.
Stay warm everyone, you are a hardy stock to deal with those -0's!!
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Brrr that 's cold Cuz, We're all hoping for the best for your brother.
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It got up to 7 here today. It was -15 this morning. The winds have died down a bit. They were around 30 plus all day with they windchill around -35 to 40. Just a trace of snow today but by Friday night they are talking 38 with rain. That sucks. Have to shovel the 14" off the roof by Friday. Everything else is going good around here. Have to take my brother to his heart dr tomorrow for an ultra sound of his heart and then see the dr right after for the results. Hope they don't find anything wrong. Positive, positive . Hugs to everyone
luvCuz
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The cold front even got to SW Texas (well just a little bit). It was 14 yesterday morning. But, already up to 55 today. Took the blanket off the old horse (he is 32 years old now). He doesn't like wearing a blanket, but it really seems to help the old guy out. Hope ;the worst is over with, (yeah you can find something better to do Austin).
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they are talking about the next snowstorm for this weekend at least will get out the next few days before confined to home again-might get bored enough to clean the house-probably not.
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cuz good god and it is too late to leave too...yucko. Not so bad here deef we seemed to miss the front, expecting snow or rain tomorrow, other wise just some frozen patches here and there...

mame when we had a deep freeze a while back we just called and said not bringing him out in this...

sharyn, how are things and people with you?...

stay safe everyone...Jen
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It is cold here in NY about 7 with a wind chill of about =20-am staying in today.
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