Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Oh Rocketbaby-that is adorable! Keep that memory in your head forever! Hello assandache and wamnan-yea-that is definitely disgusting and may just take the cake! Ewwww... Welcome to the thread!
Mom did well yesterday-started nebulizing again since she sounds like she is getting a cold. My bro came yesterday afternoon so I could go to see a show my nephew was in and my son was playing trumpet in the orchestra. It was "The Drowsey Chaperone" I had never heard of it-it was really funny and entertaining. Went to dinner with sis & our hubbies after. Must admit, I did not want to come back home and luckily sis indulged me and we just hung out and drank wine and chatted. Mom did great with bro and it was almost her bedtime when we got back. It was nice to get away. In the very beginning of the show there is a scene where this lady can't remember why she is all dressed up and they keep telling her over and over that there is going to be a wedding...and she keeps forgetting...and I was like-oh no-even at a show I can't get away from demented people!!!! It was very funny tho and she wasn't a main character so it wasn't too much for me! Anyway, I will see how mom is this morning. She was good last night and in the night, didn't hear any coughing so that is good. We will see. She always sleeps a ton after bro has been here-he tires her out but I think in a good way. He keeps her laughing. She always looks forward to him coming...which is baffling-it must be a "feeling" cause it surely can't be her memory! The other day the lady came that comes so I can go grocery shopping and mom asked her who she was and when she told her mom says, "Oh, I like her..." haha.
Cuz-you are pulling triple duty! Your mil, your bro and yourself! Take care of yourself and don't overdo! As for the congestive heart-that is so scary to hear but like Meanwhile said, ppl can live with it for a long time. For mom, it comes and goes. I was terrified the first time I heard it. The diuretics seem to take care of it after a while for her. Will keep you all in my prayers!
Meanwhile-better hide that ladder! When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, he had just had what we thought was a stroke, he passed out, couldn't speak etc (but it was the brain tumor pressing on something) Anyway, it was a February and everyone in our neighborhood had heard (cancer riddled his body and had the brain tumor) and were sending food etc and Dad gets out of the hospital and what does he do? Goes out and shovels the sidewalk! People were calling and were like-we thought he was dying-give us our food back! I am kidding about the food but everyone was baffled. What is it with men doing what they shouldn't!? (Dad died two months later)
Jen-enjoy your books! I know you will let them take you away! Just what you need.
Hey Bobbie, Austin, Sharyn, Juju, Ladee, & everyone else out there! Hope everyone can have a decent week! Mame

meanwhile we will find out tommorow more from the doctor and what he wants to do. Thanks
luvCuz

Good news. We got my MIL back to her assisted living. The hospital called around 3:00pm and said she was ready for discharge and they couldn't get a hold of either of my sister in laws that only live 2 miles from where the wife's mom lives so we drove the 20 miles south to pick her up and then drove another 15 miles south to get to the assisted living place. Thats ok though because if MIL does need any thing quick they take care of it so we are cool with the driving part. At least she is home and doing quite well for being 95 1/2. They said the infection was from pulling out the stint she had in her main blye duct coming from the liver. Her age was the main part of this happening. The doc told her not to get sick again and she won't feel so bad. We kinda laughed and said " right."
As for my left side of my face you can't even see where they made the 3 1/2" cut and even the 20 stitches they used to close it up. I have a few spots where the stitches came out that are a little tinder yet but I think we will make it. Thanks for all the concern both for the MIL and for me. Hugs to all.
LuvCuz
ps Got an e-mail from Anne there in Ireland and she said that her brother was diagnosted with colon cancer and needs prayers. When I find out more will let you know OK?

Rocket that is too funny! How the heck did she manage not to fall over? I wish I saw that!

This isn't gross, but I'm still sharing. Mom was just out on my back patio doing the Watusi. She was actually doing pretty good. I'm not sure what song that was playing in her head, but she kept a pretty good beat.

Wamnanealz you poor women.. You have patience of a saint you are a good wife don't forget the good times! Good luck and HUGS..

OK, I can beat you all! One day recently my husband must have had an accident, so he wiped his butt with a clean washcloth and then folded it nice and neat and put it back in the closet in the pile of washcloths. Imagine my surprise when I woke up and reached for a washcloth to wash my face! I was so grossed out. Now I have noticed that he is using all the towels and washcloths, folding them and putting them back in the linen closet. I just have to be on the lookout all the time for these unsanitary events! Same with clothes, cups, knives and forks. He licks them off and puts them back in the drawer. Talk about grossed out. And one more........I gave him deodorant and asked him to use it, and I showed him where. Guess where it put it? On his face!!!!! YUCK!

Mame, how is your mom doing today?
Cuz, how is your MIL? Pancreas infection can be pretty serious. Sorry the Dr says your brother has congestive heart failure. That is something the doctor should have maybe sat down and talked to him about? My step dad has been in congestive heart failure (says the Doc). for over 15 years. He just keeps going, going , and going. He decided this summer, my house needed the gutters replaced. I thought he would get everything laid out, and ready, then I would be up the ladder putting them on. Nooo I came home from work, and he had them put up. I was a little upset with him, what if he fell off the ladder with no one home. He is still so hard headed.

Jen, you do exist. One of these days a job will come along, and your mom isn't going to know what to do without you around helping out all the time.
Don't worry about me, Bobbi, I was just kidding (mostly).
Cuz hope your jaw is healing up well. Sounds like you have a good Dr.
Mame your such a good daughter. But, I bet your Mom would want you to take care of yourself too.
Juju, how are you doing? I know I forget so many, but hope everyone is doing alright.

Still alive, must be... or the laundry would pile up and they wouldn't have dishes to eat off of....
Mom's "doing it again..."
"Do you have money for the vet?" Pet meds...

"No..."

"How much is it,?"

"I'll call and ask..."

"53.08..."

"Do YOU have any cash?"

"....no...." actually, I have a dollars and 38 cents...

"How much do you have in checking?"

" Fifty..."


huff fume, mom look mad, huff, count out cash...

What I think she gave me, was the fifty I got at Pawn One for selling some stuff I had been trying to see for years...took like a %90 hit but that's pawn shop prices..."The friend of the poor..." un hu...

I gave it to her last week to cover a quarter of the emergency vet bill...

She was huffy in the car as we picked up prescriptions for DDDAAAAdddeeeee and went to library...I saw a book on the shelf called "Mean Mother"... Nice, painfully accurate read of what it like when you know your mom doesn't like you...She is also probably still pissed becasue I told her she was not gonna get the vhs tapes she "loaned" brother idiot... three months ago...

What does she want from me, I applied for a job never heard back applies for SSI got denied, contacted a lawyer...About ready to sell my soul for money here, or at least plaza, but can't do it...I am on medication...Anything else I can sell? My 1913 dime, is worth about three dollars...
WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE EXPECT, WHAT DOES SHE THINK I DO WITH THE MONEY I GET EACH MONTH ?! I have four current need to be paid off medical bills totaling over three hundred dollars and five times that in vet bills, I pay for my meds my therapy my bus fair as much as I can for my pets and have three bucks left to buy a lotto ticket! And she can't have that!!! It is all I have...

Did the dishes, did the towels, did fart pants laundry, took out garbage, did her laundry and put it away...got a mess of detective books at library for her and some fantasy and mysteries for me as well and gonna go hide in the basement like I don't exist...
Therapy on Monday, cant afford bus fare, will steal if off of November's GENEROUS ALLOWANCE....

Thanks for all the support mame and bobbie and cuz and juju and meanwhile and austin.....have a sane weekend, where ever you all are...you too book!

Jen....

Love you Cuz and I hope everyone is going to be ok.
I have been thinking about what you went through with your jaw and can't even imagine what that had to be like. You are a good one Cuz.

Mame! Hope also that your mom will be ok and your sis nailed it. I went through that too. Just always so sad and wanting to hide out but you know you can't because your mom is counting on you.
I guess we can't grow up without feeling all kinds of heartbreak. Ow Ow.

Love you guys and think of you guys all the time. Wish we all could get together and drink margaritas.

lovbob

Oh and I forgot to add that while I was mowing the grass today it started hailing with the rain drops. The temp was 56. Welcome to Michigan. Jokes will come later.
LuvCuz

Hey everybody We had my mil back in the hospital yesterday. She has some kind of infection in her pancreas. Her temp was 103.9 so the powerpoked the antibiotics and admitted her so when we left she Was just sleeping. Will find out more today.
My brother was at the doc last Wednesday and they did some blood work and he got home last night and the ansuring machine had a message from the doc saying you are in congestive heart failure and have to double up on your Lasik pill. Well it was like 10:30 when he called me and said he didn't have such a pill. I told him to call the pharmacy in he morning and ask them some questions. He found out that it was his generic version of his water pill. He wasn't happy about having to pee all the time but I told him that I am going to call the doc Monday and find out why they scared. The hell out of him by telling him he was in congestive heart failure, why not just get to the hospital? Anyway when I find out more I will let you know. Hugs to everyone and thanks for letting me be, part of your extended family.
LuvCuz

Thinking we may be sliding downhill again...mom is not "right." We will see how she is upon waking this morning. She can be so pitiful at times. Just when I am at my wits end and ready to start the Medicaid process, she will be pitiful or adorable and I just can't bring myself to start the process to put her in a NH. Explaining her life to her in the middle of the night as I sit on her bedside rubbing her back...who will do that for her in a NH? No one. Who will reassure her that she is safe and everything is ok? It makes me so sad. Speaking of which-my sis popped in and told me I looked sad. I told her I just need a good cry. I told her how hubby doesn't understand why I want to cry and how that will make me feel better. She says-"It's not that you want to cry...it is that you are constantly on the verge of tears-there's a difference." Wow. That is so spot on!
Anyway, I just have that feeling mom is on her way to being sick again. Her blood test came back all normal from the Dr...so I guess she is not dehydrated. I just don't think we ever got good again since her hosp stay this summer. Not unusual for someone not to spring back-I know...but usually does a little better than she has this time. Gah!
Well, Cuz, you are family to us tooo!!! The ppl on this thread are more/better "family" to me than some of my blood relatives!
Meanwhile-no bodies to bury? Glad to hear!
Juju-thinking of you today.
Jen-how ya doin?
Hey Bobbie.
Hello to all the rest out there...hope everyone has a decent weekend. Cooling down here and windy so all the leaves are blowing around! Cool moon last night huh?
Love to all! Mame

Meanwhile omg wassup and so glad you are not in the pokey.
wha happened?

Well it's been a rough week but on the positive side, I didn't need any bail money, or have to hide one body.

Juju, hope tomorrow is not to rough. Try to remember the good. It's hard I know.

Cuz, glad your doing ok and hope for a great outcome...thanks for the jokes.

good morning gang....
I feel just like you Jen, everything is a mess and I feel like a downer and a drag. I am so glad you are getting out and doing things for you and spoke up for yourself, however you had too....writing sometimes is less difficult than in person....good job!!!
You all are so wonderful and thank you for being here, It has been the most difficult year yet. So much has changed, both for good and not so good, but very eventful.
Tomorrow will be the 9th anniv of dads death, I think it will be a hard day for me this year.
I did get good news recently, I got a notice in the mail that I should now qualify for state health care plan, Jan 1st. I think that will also include dental and way overdue counseling and possibly visioncare! I am looking forward to getting some counseling!!!
Meanwhile...what a great pup, it is wonderful how they love n help us! It is shelter dog month here and I am also grateful for my girl I adopted, she is the best and makes me feel safe and protected!

Hope you all are hanging in there and making the best of the situation!!

Peace,
Juju

thank you Cuz it is good to start the day with a joke-I pass them along to my friends at the senior center

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid.
The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?”

“Ten,” she replied.

“What are their names?” he asked.

“LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered.

“They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just call ‘LeRoy,’ and they all come running in.”

“And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?”

“I just say, ‘LeRoy, come eat your dinner’,” she answered.

“But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?” he asked.

“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just use their last name!”

Everything came out ok. I had kept it covered with vasiline and the stitches just slid right out and everything looks good. You realy have to look where the cut is because they didn't shave my sideburns or beard. They just cut right through them, laid everything to the side and did there thing. I asked why they did the cut instead of just scrapping a circle like they do on my back etc and the said it would be to hard to sew up a circle. They didn't want to mess up my GOOD looks I guess.
Jen I'm glad you are not putting yourself through what she wants to put you through. You made a good decision to stand up for yourself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but getting past what you have been through and looking forward is the best move for you. They always say life goes on but for some reason the memories sometimes are the hardest part to move on from. We are all here for you Jen and will be here no matter what. Hugs to you and everyone else on here. I have learned so much from you gals that when something goes on around here I can relate to what you have been through and try to give advice to caregivers around here. Love all you gals like family OK?
luvCuz

Mame, your doing the best you can, that is all you can do.
Letter sounds like a good idea, Jen.
Cuz, thanks for all the funny jokes, hope your stitches come out OK.

Hmnnn twelve weeks?...Gah this is peoples real LIVES here, if you can't be sensitive about it why get into the filed...?!
So far my therapist has seemed kind, I just wonder where the hell this came from...she started out saying she was mostly a cognitive behavioral therapist so that she's all the sudden (in the middle of "my life" here) wants to dig and pick and poke and prod and whatever, I just don't get it, but I swear I can hear the conversations she is having with colleagues: "Wouldn't it be interesting to tear down and re build another person (for the good) and she seems a likely candidate..intelligent motivated..." God let's just not go there please...

Infamous letter mailed, and if I need to, I will say "no can do" in person. No thank you, not up to it...That she even wanted to start doing trauma work was really a shock to me...

careful with the blood thinners, certain veggies are off the list for a bit...

Hope the rest of the week is quiet...gotta find more stuff to read, I may just pull books off the shelf and check em out...

Doing a therapy exercise on Thankfulness....gonna have fun with this one...Jen

How the stick removal cuz. weird pulling feeling that...

Jen, when my first hub and I were going to go to marriage counseling-and I was hell bent on saving the marriage, we walked into the counselor and she says, "So, are we here for marriage counseling or divorce counseling? Divorce counseling is 6 weeks and marriage is 12 or more." I almost fell over! I promptly "fired" her and asked for a different counselor. Tell her how you feel-letter or otherwise and if she persists, ask for some other counselor!!!! Go at your own pace to take care of you! A good counselor will understand that! And she should be there for you not any paper or degree etc. Arrrgh that pisses me off!
Cuz, I am so sorry about your health issues! How scary to have them keep digging! Yea, would a been nice to know what the heck was going on. Thanks for the jokes even when you are recovering! You are amazing!
Bobbie, good to hear from you. Glad you got your internet back cause it was kinda quiet around here without you! Love your boat and dock stories! Smart kitty, might get carried off by them big birds! Stay low or inside kitty!
Sharyn-Good job on the diet changes with hubby! How scary. Glad he is recovering and back to work! Praying for you!
LadeeC-"Caregiver Blues!" Love it! But yea, all the poop would put most people off! Ratings would be low. However, a "modern family" caregiver comedy twist may work! Can you see Sofia Vergara wiping a butt??? hahahaha She would make it funny!
Austin-loved the Lobster in Cape Cod this summer too! But I must say, I love crab legs and steamed clams better!
Meanwhile-gotta love those pound puppies! Mine is a Godsend too. So loyal and a great companion. Hate that it is getting dark so early...Dec 21st the days start getting longer again...yea! (Knowing that is the only thing that gets me through winter!)
Kuli-thinking about you at this difficult time! Please post again and let us know how you are doing. We are here for ya!
Kazaa-Murder She Wrote is one of mom's favorites!
Lildeb-I get so many requests to play those games on FB-If I start I fear I will never get off the computer! I used to play scrabble-but now I don't play anything. I would never get mom moving for the day!
Which is taking much more energy these days...don't know if it is the cooler weather or what but mom does not want to get out of bed! I keep going in and talking to her and giving her drinks-cuase dehydration is such a problem! Dammit. I don't know what to do about her. Even when she is out of bed she sleeps while she sits... Hard to keep her engaged and when you do-she is more tired! It is exhausting trying to keep her entertained...
Son was home for the long weekend and saw the Drs about the blood clots and the knee. He is doing great! I am so happy and relieved. Will have to stay on blood thinners for the 6 months tho and surgery can be a week after he stops. Then back on again! Not for such a long time tho after. He is walking with the brace and doing his PT and is really strengthening things. Docs were happy.
My allergies are better. Was a tough couple a weeks! Glad that is over! Cooling down here-to the "normal" temps it should be! They said we have had 23 days above average temps here in Central NY. We will take it! Cause we know what is coming!
Hope everyone has a good hump day. Hello to Deeramsey and Deef and Flex and Juju and anyone else I missed! Thanks for being here for me! Mame

Thanks everyone, austin and bobbie and cuz, ladee and meanwhile,....That helps. "Critical Mass" that sounds about right. I am not good at confrontations so I am gonna put it in a short note and mail it to her. Just let her know this is not "a good time"...Pahahahaaahahaaaa! beh...still alive here, he is adding cushions to chairs...weaker and weaker and sleeping more and more...light at end of tunnel maybe? Love Jen

Note: I go back to the surgen tommorow to get the stitches out. Will let you know why he didn't tell me what was going to happen. At least they got all the cancer out for now any way. Hugs to everyone espectually to Jen. Hang in there kiddo OK?
luvCuz

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie " with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities..

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.

He continued his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:"An ambulance just drove by!"

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike!"

"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"

"Jason is on his skate board!"

After a few moments he announced..."The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

It is getting dark earlier and, sometimes I'm out until dark, looking for the horses after work. I like to have them at the barn at night. My faithful dog is so great. If it starts to get too dark for me, she comes back from chasing rabbits and deer, to lead me around rocks, and cactus until we make it back to the house. She's my ugly pound puppy that turned into such a great companion.

Your not a drag, Jen. Your bright, beautiful, smart, funny, and very sweet.