I love New Years. I go to bed early, so it isn't about the fireworks, but it's the week I clean out the old (I am running out of things to put on the curb now I have so drastically downsized). It's a fun week for me. As to resolutions: I do them half-heartedly and usually fail. Here are mine.1. Be more kind to N. My partner's a political junkie, and comes to me with story after story. I HATE politics and avoid them like a plague, so I stop him short almost every time; I beg, I plead. And still I cannot stop him. Instead I will endeavor to just listen more this year. He pleads "I have no one ELSE to TELL" (which is untrue: He tells his oldest daughter, then his youngest, then his grandson and then his best friends at a weekly lunch. Still. I must be more kind.)2. Be more kind in general. I am abrupt. I call it honest. But one member here suggested that I am like the abusing husband who claims "I did it for her own good"; and she had a REAL POINT there.3. Proofread my posts. I won't. And whether it's age or inability, re-reading posts has proven an embarrassment. This is the single resolution I am CERTAIN to fail.4. Try to let go of worry. Ha. Yeah. THAT'S likely to happen.
2. get a job in education that is not teaching
3. Quit overthinking and worrying so much
My resolution is to somehow learn to stop agonizing over my choices and to make peace with why I made them. Was my timing right? Is the facility right? Did I fail him in his time of need? What’s wrong with me that I gave up so easily? I know I did not cause my husband’s disease but I am ashamed that my inner Super-woman seems to have taken a powder when I really need her.
You are allowed to mourn it.
You just aren't allowed to take the responsibility for what he has, because you didn't cause and can't fix it.
It's worth grieving over. If this isn't, then nothing is. Allow yourself to feel the sadness without making the disease somehow your fault.
It's been a good year though in a lot of ways, much of it is because of you guys, just thinking how much I've grown and changed this year, Friends I've broken free of ext.....
With that being said, my first resolution is less drama, and to stay away from other people drama as best I can, including social media drama. I want as much peace in my life as possible.