Hospice black market or malpractice cover-up.

I am sorry to read that your Mother died. Please take care of yourself

Condolences on the passing of your dear mother.

I know how extremely hard it was for you accept that your mother needed to be in a nursing home, and apparently you did not agree with the decision to place her on hospice when that time came. I can understand that Mother's death is especially hard for you to assimilate and grieve. While mourning is normal and not "pathological" when it is complicated and life-disrupting you might benefit from some professional grief counseling.

If you feel you have evidence of malpractice, you need to discuss it with a lawyer who handles those kinds of cases.

Best wishes to you through this difficult time.

My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family for your loss.

For those not familiar with this situation here is the original posting: https://www.agingcare.com/questions/power-of-attorney-denied-me-access-to-mothers-room-at-nursing-center-194084.htm

FF, thanks for that reference. I thought the photo was familiar, read a few posts from the link you provided, and now remember what the situation was.

Momlover, why don't you just find a medical malpractice attorney and ask for an opinion? The records can be ordered if the attorney feels there's merit. The records would then be reviewed by a medical practitioner in an appropriate field and determination given whether or not there's a malpractice issue.

Either way, be prepared to pay for the cost of copying the medical records and the cost of a professional review. Depending on the extent of the records and current fee rates, it might cost you around $1K, more or less.

And I too am sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am concerned about one portion of your post...you say that the hospital "allowed her colon to burst". This confuses me a bit. Your mom had a colostomy (for whatever reason). A colostomy is a treatment for many diseases of the bowel and can be either temporary or permanent. Was the colostomy a treatment for a previous perforation of the bowel or was it for some other condition? The reason i ask is that colostomies can also cause perforation of the bowel. If the colostomy caused the perforation of the bowel I'm wondering why you think the hospital "allowed" this...I can't imagine they had anything to do with it unless you have more information?

If the colostomy had no connection to the perforation of the bowel then we have to look at the perforation condition alone. The reasons that colons burst are not something a hospital can generally cause. For example, diverticulitis/diverticulosis, ulcerative colitis, cancer, or paralysis can cause a colon to burst. It is usually an acute condition that happens without notice or even symptoms (though some people experience pain or fever before it happens). I can't imagine what would make you say they "allowed it to happen" unless you think she was neglected? Could you possibly expand on why you think they allowed it (that sounds to me like you think they caused it)?

Once a colon ruptures, there is a pretty high mortality rate in the elderly...more than 50% of elderly patients who have this condition do die from it...and not because the hospital made any mistakes but because this condition is so serious and dangerous that a high mortality rate is expected. It would be very common for someone with a ruptured colon and a previous colostomy to be given a poor prognosis and to be immediately placed on hospice, who would administer doses of morphine to control the pain, and make the patient comfortable.

I worry that your extreme grief (very justified and understandable) is putting you through the stages of loss. One of the stages is anger...where people suffering from deep grief are incredibly angry and hostile about their loss and it often causes them to look around and try to find someone to blame for the death...even when it isn't justified. I urge you to try counseling to help you through this awful devastating time and be kind to yourself while you find a way to peace and a new normal. I also urge you to read medical reports and papers about your mom's conditions that I have shared parts of with you...this may help you to understand the serious condition your mom was in, and that the hospital followed accepted protocols for her illness...not everything is curable. This is something so hard to accept. I just lost my mom in February to a brain hemmorage after an accident...believe me I tried to point the finger at everyone...thinking they should have seen the damage in her scans, or done a different treatment or this and that, when the reality was that she was going to pass no matter what anyone did. I'm still not there yet, but I am able to see the stages of grief in myself and I'm also trying to see that the people that helped my mom really did have her best interest at heart. Many hugs.

Angel

Momluver,
I'm SO sorry you lost your dear Mother and in such a horrible way.Take care of yourself.

Momlover- I've been reading your posts on and off since Christmas. Then you could not accept your mom being in a nursing home instead of at home with you. Now you can not accept that perhaps it was just your moms time - she had been battling one health issue after another - even a purée diet if I'm remembering correctly. From what you posted, next was a thumb amputated- literally cutting away a piece of her. Does not even the tiniest bit of you wonder if letting your mom go was the compassionate thing to do? 89 years on this earth is a long time - that's my mothers age and I know she's no longer enjoying any real quality of life and is ready to be free of her earthy body. One thing I will say I'm betting you will discover if you do in fact pursue this as a malpractice suit - and that is that your mother did not pass in "torturing pain". If hospice was involved they would have been managing your mothers pain - most likely with morphine as that seems to be their drug of choice when the end is near. Please seek grief counseling to try to find some peace for yourself - this experience seems to have consumed you. As your mother battled so have you - I saw your petition - more than seven months - you must bevexhausted mentally, physically and spiritually.

Momlover, you are stuck in the angry phase. It might help you to get into a grief counseling group sponsored by Hospice. You can share your anger and find out how to cope with it.