Hospice killed my mom.

My mom passed away june 14th 2016 at athens regional hospital athens ga.

Im sorry thats 24hr oxygen

I am so sorry about your mother's death. That is a very young age. Certainly you would have wished for her to live longer.

She died on her own schedule. Hospice is set up to decrease the pain and distress of the final passing. They do not take lives. I've experienced Hospice with my mother (who got better and "graduated" from the program) and my husband who was on it five weeks before dying. Initially hospice expected Mom to die within days. But that was not her agenda. She got well. She certainly still has dementia but two years later she is pleasant and enjoying her days. Hospice was expecting my husband to live a few more weeks and was very surprised when I called to say he was gone and I needed them to arrange for the body to be removed. An autopsy showed that he did die of the dementia he had lived with for ten years, but that he was very close to dying from a heart condition -- it was surprising he hadn't died of that.

Many of us would give anything to have our loved one with us even one more day. Anything but watching them suffer, be in unspeakable pain, or be heavily in distress.

Your mother died when her body was ready for her to die. I am very, very sorry that it was in her sixties. Certainly you wanted her longer!

Taking your mother home to care for her may not have changed anything -- probably not. You made the decision that you honestly thought was right at the time (and it probably was right.) Don't let feelings of guilt get in the way of the genuine and legitimate feelings of loss and mourning.

When a loved one dies, it is natural to look for things that could have prevented the death. Death is a mystery. My mother was here, but now there's just this body. Even if you have strong religious faith, the person you love has disappeared from your life in this world, and you miss them.

Please try not to torture yourself. Your mother in heaven may be irritated that she didn't get to say goodbye, but that happens to lots of people. Your mother showed her love by the way she treated you when she was alive. For me, my late mother isn't really gone, because she lives in my heart every day.

Would your mother want you to be at peace? I bet she would. Remember her and enjoy her memory, and remind yourself that her pain is over. I hope that time brings you acceptance, as it did for me.

I'm sorry for your loss..

But truth be told your Mom died from heart failure and kidney disease.. To help her cross over peacefully is what hospice did..

Again I'm sorry you feel guilty.. Hopefully time will heal.. But there was nothing you or hospice could do to make your Mom healthy again.. Hugs..

Aw, hun, she chose to end dialysis, and if she was "awake alert responsive eating and drinking just hrs before" then she could have told them she changed her mind right up to the moment she lost consciousness, but she didn't do that. I'm sorry for you that it all happened so quickly and you didn't get a chance to say your goodbyes, but I am happy for her for that same reason, and that she didn't endure a long, drawn out ordeal. There are those here who cared for a LO at home up to the end and are still traumatized by the experience. Your parents chose to spare you that, they chose hospice. Try to accept that.

So sorry Rosiesdaughter that your mother passed at such a relatively young age.
Try and find peace in that she died comfortably. The Drs knew from her blood work that the dialysis was no longer working so no point in continuing to put her through. Kidney failure is not a nice way to die so try and be thankful for the care she received.

HOSPICE uses Morphine Wether or not the patient is in pain!! Then they increase it, and increase it. My Mother couldn't recognize us anymore. They knew exactly when she would die. We all gathered around her. Then they gave her high doses of a sedative to slow and stop her breathing!!!! 15 minutes later her breathing slowed and she died. You are right. They assist in people dying. It's like assisted suicide. But I always said they killed my Mother. High doses of Morphine kills people. Sedatives slow down the breathing.

It's not assisted suicide! They did not kill your Mom! They made her comfortable when she needed it most. If they had not given your Mom morphine she would have been in great distress and you would probably have begged them to give her more.

My Mom was not in hospice care when she died. She was in palliative care in hospital. Which amounts to the same thing. They were giving her morphine at regular intervals to keep her comfortable. One time when I was sitting with her she started to moan and cry cause the morphine had worn off. Would I have liked her to be awake and with me? Yes.......but I did not want her to be in discomfort so I agreed to the morphine. Period. They did not kill her.

RosiesDaughter,
So sorry for your loss, and that you did not get to say goodbye.

Hospice killed my Mother also. The crazy Dr. Told her she was going to die without any of us there with her. Then she came home and she was doing good until hospice started the Morphine and upped it more and more and they knew exactly when she was going to die. They called us all to be there and then gave her sedatives so her breathing would slow and stop. They are legal Kavorkians!!!!!! Your parent or loved one could go a lot gentler into death more conscious and live longer. My Father did. He didn't have hospice.
I never want them to come near me when I'm ready. I see lots of you have had similar experiences with hospice. I hate them so much!!

Skeyeblu, a patient passes away on the same schedule whether Hospice was used or not.   The only difference, do want to pass screaming in horrible pain, or want to pass resting peacefully. 

Please, please note that the amount of morphine given is no different than the amount of morphine given to a patient after a major surgery to help cut the pain.

And if the doctors/nurses had up the amount it would be from 5mg to 15mg and no more. It would take 200mg to kill someone. Morphine is highly regulated, every mg has to be accounted for.

I was glad both my parents had Hospice. Especially my Dad who had aspiration pneumonia, otherwise he would have died choking to death. Believe me, that would NOT have been gentler. The morphine helped relax his throat.

Dear Rosie,

My deepest condolences and sympathies. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know it hurts. We always want things to be different. Its been almost 10 months since my father passed and I still wished his last moments could have been different. We all have these questions during our grief journey. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. I know its easier said than done. Thinking of you.

I am a hospice physician. I would like to say that you are not eligible for hospice services unless you have a prognosis of less then 6 months. We consider the patient and the patient's family as the unit of care. We provide the a nurse, nurse's aide, chaplain or spiritual counselor, social worker and a physician to each patient and their families. We provide 24 hours day, 7 day a week access to care through a phone number you can call and any of the previously mentioned providers can be called to come out and see the patient or the family. We also provide 13 months of bereavement care for the family. Hospice comes to wherever the patient is located nursing home, home, personal care home, or assisted living centers. We are an extra layer of care. A RN nurse is assigned to visit the patient at least once a week and then a LVN nurse usually comes a second time in the week (At least in our hospice). Then a home health aide is assigned to come out and bathe a patient at least twice a week. Most want at least 3 times a week. If the patient is having a hard time they can receive a RN or LVN visit daily especially in the last few days of life. Also there is a free to the family 5 days of respite care for putting stable at home patients in a nursing home for five days of rest so family members can rest. The there is continuous care for uncontrolled symptom management and in patient hospice care for symptoms that can not be managed by in home continuous care. The last two mentioned are for very specific symptom management and it is highly regulated by Medicare. It is not to be used for normal end of life care. You also get a social worker to help you with end of life care from anxiety in family and patient to planning a funeral or placement in a nursing home. They make an initial visit and then as needed visits. The spiritual care worker helps patients and families deal with spiritual issues around the end of life. They meet you where you are and can sit and pray with the patient and his family or coordinate spiritual care with your chosen faith. They visit initially and then as needed and you can refuse their visit. All medications related to the primary hospice diagnosis are covered by the hospice as well as medications related to pain, constipation, nausea & vomiting, anxiety & agitation. Most people who are in the last 6 months do experience pain and so yes we are aggressive at managing pain because it is not fair to die in pain even if you can not verbalize that you are in pain. The elderly often express pain in worsening delirium which means they see, hear and react to things other people can not see, hear and react to. As you age all your organs age including your stomach and your ability to metabolize medications in your stomach decreases. So giving your loved one more medications actually makes the patients stomach work harder at digesting them. So this means that a lot of the drugs and vitamins actually are not getting metabolized and are diminishing the amount of any of the drugs that are getting into the patients blood supply. It has been shown with study after study that the elderly medically fragile (anybody in a nursing home and almost anyone who is older then 65 depending on the person) need to be on less then 9 medications and that means over the counter medications and vitamins too. And most people in the last 6 months of life have lost enough weight that they no longer have hypertension and diabetes type II and therefore either need less of those medications and/or no longer need those medications. Most people who initially come on hospice have a "honeymoon period" when we stop excessive medications and the patient actually wakes up and is more cognizant and aware of there surroundings. We do not start pain medications unless there is some symptoms or source of pain. Most people in the last few weeks of life have pain as their body start to shut down and their muscles contract. We do not want you loved one to die. We just want to make sure your loved one is actually cared for appropriately. If you do not want to believe that I will talk about the economics of hospice. We actually do not want to kill your loved one because that would mean we can no longer be reimbursed for their care. (Medicare pays a set amount for every day you are on hospice. It covers the pay of all the caregivers, the director of nursing, the administrator, the pharmacy costs, the secretaries, the answering service, the physician etc. ) We have patients with varying length of stays some come on and die with in a day others come on and die 3 years later. Our hospice (Silverado Hospice) has a physician visit the patient with in 7 days of admission, to make sure the patient is appropriate and indeed has a life expectancy of less then 6 months if the disease was to run it's normal course. (This visit is not required by healthcare law) After the first 6 months patients are seen by a physician ever 2 months to re-certify that the patient's has a life expectancy of less then 6 months is the disease was to run it's normal course. (these visits are required by law) If the patient's illness has stabilized then the patient is discharged from hospice for extended prognosis. (life expectancy greater then 6 months) Our hospice location in and it has a census of about 150-160 patients with about 50 admissions per month and 50 deaths per month. We usually have 3-4 patients that we discharge per month for extended prognosis. We are happy to readmit them when their illness progresses again and that happens quite a bit, usually 3-12 months later. Medicare has strict guidelines that must be followed so the patient has to show decline each re-certification period (within each 60 day period). So that is what hospice actually does. We do not hasten death in anyway.

Hospice does hasten death. Visit the Hospice Patients Alliance. It was founded by a hospice nurse, turned whistleblower, because of these things.

Im sorry for your loss, but hospice care didn’t kill your mom . They were there to help patient to be comfortable and free of pain. Im a nurse and i work in a long term care facility and i’ve seen a lot of people that put on hospice that graduated that even from this day are alive and well. The reason why they gave her morphine is because she’s in pain. And as a nurse i’ve seen a lot of patient that are very alert that seems to be okay before their passing . One of my patient was very sick a week ago but act like he’s not sick before he died. You can’t predict when they’re gonna die . Good thing she died in peace.

My mom is on dialysis. It is no longer working very well and she is suffering more and more every time she has it. We are very near the time of ending mom's dialysis ourselves.

Dialysis does not work forever. It is a treatment meant to assist the function of the kidneys, when they stop working, to filter toxins out of the bloodstream. But it is not a replacement for the kidneys. Eventually, kidney function will cease altogether and dialysis will be of no real benefit to the patient. When a doctor recommends ending dialysis, it is to end a person's suffering because the treatment is no longer helping them.

I am sorry for your loss. I know it's extra hard because stopping dialysis feels like making a choice about death. In truth, it is only a choice to discontinue treatment that is causing suffering, and at the same time, is no longer benefiting the recipient.

I don't have any first hand experience with hospice, but I'm wondering if like hospitals,
there well run hospice groups and maybe not so well run hospice groups.

I'm certainly not discounting the concerns of those who feel their loved ones death
came sooner than necessary. There are also many who feel that their loved ones
lingered in pain longer than they wanted. So complaints about hospice care can cut
both ways.

It's so frustrating and leaves one feeling helpless when we don't always know the
best course of action. And sometimes we don't feel we're given all the info we need to
make best decision for our LO's . My sincerest condolences to all who have lost a parent
possibly before their time and with any lingering questions regarding care.

Hospice didnt kill my sister but .....My sister basically bled to death at HOME!!!!! She was throwing up blood all night, Hospice came the next day and gave her a suppository ??????????? and left her!! They never came back to check on her, even after begging and pleading from her daughter for some help with symptom control. My sister was freaking and scared to death! It took until that night to get Hospice to allow her to be taken by ambulance (even though they would not help) She was comatose by that time and had lost 80% of her blood volume! She died the next morning in a nasty HOSPITAL emergency room bed!!!! NOT in the inpatient hospice comfortable bed surrounded by loving family that she was promised!!! I am LIVID, HURT, and will NOT shut up about this!!! She deserved better!! They have not once called my 19 year old niece who was her main caregiver, who had to watch her Mom basically bleed to death in their home!!! and she died 2 weeks ago!!! As a matter of fact, they have even ignored calls to come pick up their equipment!! They did not drug her to death, but definitely did not give her any relief at all of these horrible symptoms and did not help make it any easier on my niece or get her in to inpatient hospice as the Hospice director promised my sister that day in the hospital in my presence!! This was NOT a peaceful death by far!! Up until this, all my experiences with Hospice had been wonderful. I assured my sister this was the right choice. Now I also live with that regret, along with tons of others concerning her death. I will NEVER recommend Hospice to another soul :-(

i read on here concerns that hospice killed their loved one, i also read a rebuttal from Hospice MD. this is what they said and i quote "Most people who are in the last 6 months do experience pain and so yes we are aggressive at managing pain because it is not fair to die in pain even if you can not verbalize that you are in pain. The elderly often express pain in worsening delirium which means they see, hear and react to things other people can not see, hear and react to. As you age all your organs age including your stomach and your ability to metabolize medications in your stomach decreases. So giving your loved one more medications actually makes the patients stomach work harder at digesting them t"
now please read this ....
the symptoms of morphine overdose is clear, this so called MD has tried to cover the symptoms of MORPHINE OVERDOSING BY STATING THESE ARE NATURAL SYMPTOMS OF EXPRESSING PAIN. anyone with concerns should call the police , this is murder and nothing else!! listen to your gut feeling, i am in the same place with this and i am about to go give a statement, my loved one was not given 6 months or less to live they gave her Morphine and she was on no pain at all NONE , yes that is right NONE they upped the dose until she couldnt breath and told me they where gong to up it again , i confronted the doctor who looked and acted worried after the death of my loved one i had to keep it together for my family , only now am i strong enough to tackle this head on

also the care? bereavement care? its a look into your life to see that you are satisfied with the care and not going to say anything they are watching you and reading you emotions so they can console you (cover up and mask your true feelings, they make you feel they where there for you when all they did was kill your loved one) they are snooping on you to keep themselves one step ahead, crazy it seems but i am far from crazy its FACT, Sit down and re-examine for a few minutes what actually happened, rebut that!!!!hospice MD

I'm so sorry. The same thing happened to my mom. She was fine until she died of morphine OD. She kept trying to wake up and asked to sit up and talk, but they kept injecting her. I call it elderly abortion.

I'm so sorry. Hospice killed my mom too. Those heavy doses of Morphine just take them right on out. I hate she ever went there. Praying you find comfort.

Hospice killed my mother as well, she was alert and aware of what was happening right up to the end, even to the point of begging me not to leave her bedside and telling me she was scared of everyone and everything that came in her room - the only food she got after being placed on hospice was what family brought in to her, and by family I mean me and my daughter... the rest of the family was fine with her being starved to death.  For most of my  mom's live I was her DPOA until the loss of my job forced me to move to find work.  Within a year of my moving my oldest sister had stolen her house, had her committed to a nursing home against her will and the nursing home forced her to appoint my sister (only local child as DPOA).  When my mom started calling everyone telling them to come get her out and to bring her attorney - they treated her as they she was crazy, put her on psychotropic, and I was banned (by my sister) from even coming in the nursing home.  The abuse from the nursing home went on for years including broken ribs, bruises, etc.  Everything she would get sent out for a psych eval, she would dramatically improve,, and having no reason to hold her, she would get sent back into the same abusive, neglectful environment.  She contracted a C-Dif infection from the home, and was admitted to the hospital where it took 10 days to clear up her infection.  The hospital said they would not admit her again because of her age.  She was sent back to the nursing home and readmitted to the hospital 5 days later at which time they diagnosed her with "cancer" and put her on hospice.  It took hospice 2 months to kill her, primarily because me and my daughter still brought her food, and would stay by her bed to keep them from overdosing her.  My sister, her DPOA, would tell me "she isn't with us any more" as my moms eyes went from face to face looking for someone who would help her.  Being starved to death is no way to die, and the meds that caused her so much difficulty in breathing were not a comfort to her.  I don't know if the morphine helped with the pain, I know they dosed her every time she opened her eyes.... and if she gathered up enough strength to say "help me" then it was Ativan too.  Very sad what has become to how we treat our elderly and what our world has become.

Molly, please note that when a hospital or nursing home no longer is giving food to a patient, that means that the patient's stomach is no longer digesting food/liquids. What happens is the food/liquids just sits in the stomach and that becomes quite painful to the patient.

Nursing homes will not accept a patient unless the patient qualifies for the care.

I really don't understand these posts - you have to sign up and qualify for hospice and you can discontinue it.  You can report abusive POAs/DPOAs to Adult Protective Services, to the cops - so if that is the problem, then go ahead and report family members.
I would rather die relatively pain free rather than in agony - I don't see the point of making dying people suffer more. Some of this concern about hospice seems to be related to the idea that incurable disease can be cured.

Hospice certainly helped me care for my Father when he was dying. The nurse we had was wonderful. I did my Dads care (bathing, toilet, etc.), was there for three months while his body gave in to lung cancer. The hospice nurse came by reliably each day to reassure me and my Mother and help with all our questions. He ended up on morphine at the end for his pain, but not overdosed. They even taught me how to give him shots and they were very infrequent. I could never have made it through the last weeks without that nurse. She was a true Godsend.