Follow
Share

My teenage bride of 50 years has days of complete clarity and days of confusion and hallucinations. She gets it in her mind that we are staying with friends (whom we haven’t seen for decades) and she wants me to take her home. How can I help her feel at home in our home, where we’ve lived over 20 years?

You can try what one of my friends did with her husband who wanted to go "home" all the time. She would put him in the car and drive around for a while and then as they were pulling back up to their home she would announce that they were now home and that seemed to work most times with him.
Sometimes when a person with dementia says they want to go home it's often the home they grew up in with with their parents were they felt loved and safe, however this doesn't sound like this is the case with your wife.
I wish you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your precious wife.
God bless you.
(4)
Report

Your husband is displaying a common behavior that comes with dementia called Sundowning. He's not referring to the home he was in prior, he is thinking about one in his long-term memory -- like his childhood home. This is why you shouldn't appease him, because you're not thinking of the same thing.

Here is information and strategies from this forum:

https://www.agingcare.com/topics/19/sundowners-syndrome
(0)
Report

Have you tried taking her out to the store, library or senior center and then going back home? Perhaps she’ll realize that she’s gone back to her own home. Deflecting and changing direction may help when reasoning is getting you nowhere.
(2)
Report

If it is safe, drive her around and then go back to your house.

This works (for now) with my friends father.
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter