The reason I am saying to ask your aging parents to downsize is to do so while everyone still has the energy to help sort, donate, and move into something more manageable.
My parents were in their mid to late 90's and still glued to their single family house. Once Mom passed a couple of months ago and Dad decided last month it was a good time to move to Independent Living, he now wants to sell the house ASAP.
Dad only took what he needed for his new apartment.... there is still a lot of furniture left in the house, kitchen cabinets with lot of cookware and glassware, not to mention the stuff in the garage, and everything in Dad's workshop in the basement [found a very old computer down there] and more stuff. I already tossed out a lot of clothes that I couldn't donate, and have bags of clothes to donate. I do plan to call an Estate Sale person to sell the items. But I need to throw the junk out first.
Whew, after work I am tired and that only give me maybe an hour each day to tackle one corner of one room. Oh my gosh, all the dust !!! Let's not forget about all the paperwork that ones elders keep. Like warranty booklets for things they no longer have. I dragged home several dozen 3-rings binders with financial info, as I now need to do the finances as Dad doesn't want to bother with it. Oh fun.
And there are things I would like to keep so now my family room at home looks like a flea market :P And there is more to cart home when I get the energy. Oh my gosh, as here I was trying to limit the things I have as I am senior myself, and would like to downsize before too long. It's hard to part with things that were part of my growing up.
So, once your Mom and Dad start to slow down, and you start to notice that they aren't keeping the house up, try to get them to sell and move into something smaller [it can still be a single family house but half the size], that way they would need to either donate, sell or toss out "stuff". I know it won't be easy. I would try to get my Mom to donate items, and to her that was one knick knack each year.... [sigh].
Each time I do a clean out, more and more things go. Having an outside party to give input about pros & cons of keeping something is helpful. Things I linger over, he would say things like "if you don't use it, you shouldn't keep it" or "you don't need that" and then I knew it was time to let it go. It gave me a chance to bemoan that I had to let these things go - like old, classic 45s and LPs - but also know it was the right thing.
Having an outside person pushing me (gently) to let go of things helped me do my biggest clean out yet this past Sunday. I put everything on the curb the day before local trash pick-up then put a "curb alert" ad online for free stuff where I listed the major categories of what was there and a few pictures of the items. People came and took things and I'm glad I decided to handle things that way instead of trying to determine what was donation-worthy. Less work for me.
It would be great if people would do their downsizing while they can, choose what's important to them, go ahead and gift heirlooms, etc.
I don't think most people "work this way." Not in my family they don't. I do wish they did. Maybe this will change more and more in the present and following generations, as children see the mistakes made by their parents. Once a LO has a dementia, then it's too late to have them deal with their things... and... we never know when dementia may onset. Maybe it never does. And that argument is what's kept my father from not only downsizing or facing the fact that he must move out of this house, but he won't even give POA at 78 after years of medical problems. :-/
I think I just turned this into the "Whine" thread. ;-) It's a great idea to get your logical parents involved in proactively downsizing while they can. I don't have logical parents.
My gosh, some of the frames used back in the 1940's the people who did the framing used these tiny thin nails which are a bear to get out of the wooden frame. And the photos are on very thick cardboard. I plan to donate those frames that are still good and more into this century.
The opposite happened with my sig other, after his parents had passed he finally went to their house to look for his high school letter jacket and other things.... boy was he surprised not to find those items in the attic where he had left them 50 some years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if years ago his parents told him to come get the items or the items would be tossed out, and sig other dragged his feet as usual... [sign].
I remember someone saying earlier this year on this forum that the younger generation isn't interested in some items that we use to collect, like fine china and glassware, and silver sets. Yep, all that beautiful Forstoria was still looking for a new home :(
I went to the fine clothing section and saw some blazers I had donated. Saw my Mom's winter coat, but didn't see her black mink half jacket cape. I did buy myself a vest for $4 which looked like something that Sonny and Cher would have worn :P
Saw some wonderful big old antique desks at very good prices. These were heavy duty, curved leg, leather top, type desks. Some lovely sofa's, nice dining room sets, etc. A young couple could have easily furniture a new home with these bargains.... I call it "early attic" design. Nope, kids today want new.
Just imagine the wonderful things that are buried in landfill (things we would have given our "eye teeth" for when we were just starting out with Salvation Army furniture, egg crate shelves and Mom's old pots and pans and hand me down linens!)
When my sig other moved here, his late wife had collected some type of "collector edition" Normal Rockwell plates that he thought must be worth a ton of money. He was so disappointed when he learned that the plates maybe were worth maybe a dollar more ten years later, but the cost of having them professionally wrapped and moved across country from his former home put their value in the negative.
Welcome to the enchanted land of eldercare
My mom had warranty slips and instruction manuals on kitchen gadgets she didn't even own anymore
Mom also liked to hide money so it makes going through old paper a bit more time consuming - nearly shred an envelope with $800 in it
It is difficult to do but try not to get upset with what you cannot change -
This is a safe place to vent
The way I got my Dad to go see an Elder Law Attorney and do a Trust, was when I told him "The State will get half your wealth".... he was ready for the Attorney. We had a Trust set up, but sadly Dad [95] passed before I was able to transfer anything into the Trust.... hello Probate :P It will a tad easier since my Dad did move into senior living and we sold the house and emptied the house out. Dad didn't have much of his things at Memory Care so inventory of those items will be easier.
We are the farthest away, so the problem of dealing with mil's junk after she dies is going to mostly be on her darling daughters....one is the executrix of her estate, and the other one apparently gets the old house on 40 acres (because she's not married and is most in need of help, according to mil).
I am not willing to contribute anything to mil's maintenance and upkeep in future years. She spent an inheritance traveling the world, redoing her kitchen, etc.