The reason I am saying to ask your aging parents to downsize is to do so while everyone still has the energy to help sort, donate, and move into something more manageable.
My parents were in their mid to late 90's and still glued to their single family house. Once Mom passed a couple of months ago and Dad decided last month it was a good time to move to Independent Living, he now wants to sell the house ASAP.
Dad only took what he needed for his new apartment.... there is still a lot of furniture left in the house, kitchen cabinets with lot of cookware and glassware, not to mention the stuff in the garage, and everything in Dad's workshop in the basement [found a very old computer down there] and more stuff. I already tossed out a lot of clothes that I couldn't donate, and have bags of clothes to donate. I do plan to call an Estate Sale person to sell the items. But I need to throw the junk out first.
Whew, after work I am tired and that only give me maybe an hour each day to tackle one corner of one room. Oh my gosh, all the dust !!! Let's not forget about all the paperwork that ones elders keep. Like warranty booklets for things they no longer have. I dragged home several dozen 3-rings binders with financial info, as I now need to do the finances as Dad doesn't want to bother with it. Oh fun.
And there are things I would like to keep so now my family room at home looks like a flea market :P And there is more to cart home when I get the energy. Oh my gosh, as here I was trying to limit the things I have as I am senior myself, and would like to downsize before too long. It's hard to part with things that were part of my growing up.
So, once your Mom and Dad start to slow down, and you start to notice that they aren't keeping the house up, try to get them to sell and move into something smaller [it can still be a single family house but half the size], that way they would need to either donate, sell or toss out "stuff". I know it won't be easy. I would try to get my Mom to donate items, and to her that was one knick knack each year.... [sigh].
I guess I never aspired to be your mom, so I'm not hurt that you wouldn't like that. :)
A thread that talks about downsizing OUR stuff would suit me better than one about getting our parents to do theirs.
Now I will donate my tin containers that I use to hold paperclips and use some really sweet small but heavy china bowls that my Mom had in the kitchen. Also found my baby shoes that were coated in brass or whatever and made into bookends, will switch those out, too.
You idea is making it more enjoyable then just pawing through stuff.
J Gibbs, I'm so glad you're not my Mom. And I say that with affection....
I have a 24" box full of underwear that's not my size, but I haven't been able to get it donated. I did find a merry widow in there from the late 1960s. Complete with stocking clips. Oy.
90% of the crap we moved 1800 miles has been donated and I feel like there's another 90% to get to. I know, it doesn't add up. I could have saved myself a metric truck load of grief and hard work by NOT moving it, but she had to have it all. Even the durn brass spitoon. She could have kept $3,000 in her bank account. But nooooooo.
If I had it to do over again, there are many things I'd do quite differently, but what did I know at the time?
My husband & I will downsize. Probably when the kids are gone & on their own. I have a ton of yarn for knitting and other craft supplies that take up a lot of space. Video games (we're nerds), and the stuff I "inherited" from other relatives that I can't dispose of until some more years pass. My house is where other peoples' things come to die. Uggg.
I had to do this three more times with each hoarder parent separately after this till they are now in a NH. NUTS! ....Oh, another hint= if they offer you ANYTHING say thank you and donate or toss it- I even asked to have things saying Ooo! I love this may I have it? Load up the car and say thank you so much! :D
I don't know, maybe those were "trophies" of finally getting the darn bottle/carton opened :)
I know there were times I ready to use a reciprocating saw on a Tylenol bottle !!
I use the strike from the shadows approach. This may not work if your folks are aware of every piece of dreck and junk in their universe but in my case with Dads dementia, Moms lack of mobility, and lots of naps I have been able to take a pretty good whack at the STUFF for the past couple of years.
GARAGE: It's an unattached garage so I can really go to town out there. I've gotten all the dangerous power tools out, a little at a time, chainsaws to nephews, electric hedge trimmers to neighbor etc. Also tons of junk hauled to the dump. So far Dad hasn't noticed. I've left just enough tools fo him to piddle around and this seems to work.
KITCHEN: OMG!! Every cabinet full of plastic and paper grocery bags, every microwave container since 1978, vega matics and a hundred other gizmos and appliances that are never used, every empty prescription pill bottle since the beginning of time, and on and on........All gone. Remember those nap times?
CLOSETS: A little trickier. Never know what Mom might go dredging up. Capri pants from 1962 maybe. But have taken huge loads to goodwill and to dump. How many pair of slippers is it possible for two people to accumulate? Amazing...
And so it goes on each trip home. Did I forget to mention the six tons of junk mail that Mom is saving to sort through later? That crap is so gone!
I'll still have a lot to do when the day comes but I've made a huge dent in the pile.
(We are ALL aging. What is the alternative? You stop aging when you die.)
If I die tomorrow I truly pity my kids. I'm not ready, and they won't be ready. But anyone could die tomorrow. I'm not living my life based on that possibility.
I've acquired a lot of things that give me enjoyment to own. They won't mean anything to my descendants. So I expect I'll eventually clear them out, as I see my cousins doing gradually with their collections and unnecessary but fun items. And if I guess wrong about how much time I have left to downsize and my kids are stuck with the job, well, hey kids, I've done a whole lot of tasks for you over the years that weren't exactly fun or of my choosing. Suck it up and get it done. And if it really is all meaningless to you, just hire someone to clear stuff out. There ought to be enough value there to pay for the service.
I've got a load of stuff for the thrift store next week. I gave away a golf set last summer. I'm slowly sorting books for the used book store I use. I don't want the clutter around, either. But I'LL DECIDE what goes when. If one (or all) of the kids said, "Let me know if you want any help clearing some stuff out of the basement," I'd be grateful. If one said, "Mom, isn't it time to clear out these 500+ cake pans you've collected -- I don't want to have to deal with them after you die," it would be a good long time before I'd bake a cake for him again!
One person's clutter is another person's fond memories.
GardenArtist, would you believe that coming soon we will see those 10 ream copy paper boxes be in decorative designs. I forgot which company will be doing those, I remember taking a survey last year through Quill to see which design boxes I liked. The designs were floral :)
I love the idea of a service agency that may need stuff for fire victims, etc. I also traded out some of my things for parents much nicer stuff, let my stuff go to sale/goodwill. This is a horrible mess for those of us who get to deal with it.. my local goodwill knows me by name at this point as I am trying to clean out so MY daughter does not have to deal!
Actually, I liked them as there were some really attractive patterns, and the boxes were free from work.
I will see what an Estate Sale person can do, in fact I plan to add to my Mom's collection with my own dishes/glassware that I rarely, if ever, use. When was the last time any of us had neighbors over for tea and used our Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles? Or china service that has gold rim that sets off sparks if used in a microwave? Or used a silver place setting, beautiful stuff but I remember the folks and spoons had a odd taste.
What doesn't sell in the Estate Sale, I do have a nearby church sponsored place that takes a lot of goods, plus there is also a nearby Goodwill. Today I pulled out about a 100 VHS tapes that my parents had that I will need to go through and take to Goodwill [the only place that will take these old tapes]. For the past 10 years Dad said he was going to transfer the tapes to CD, but that never got done... [sigh].
And what is it with all the contact paper? My gosh, my Dad's desk had some type of contact paper that I can't get out. All the kitchen cabinets and drawers, contact paper. And old large speaker that I thought was wood grain, yep it was contact paper :) And need to figure out how to get all the backing fuzz off the antique wooden kitchen table from a vinyl tablecloth that my Mom had on the table for decades.
There's also the St. Vincent and Sarah Fisher organization, which I believe even has a thrift shop in the SE Michigan area; I don't know whether it's a national charity though.
Another thought is to contact the closest military base and ask for contact information for the services family support groups. There might be a family in need that could use some assistance.
These suggestions would apply more toward clothing or old toys and such stuff (you did find some of your toys, didn't you?)
As to the old computers, perhaps there's a technological museum in the area that might want the old gems.
I am only child with no children so all those things stops in its tracks. I need to figure out how to pass on these things to my cousins, but they are also senior citizens like myself and most don't have any children, either. Oh well, I will figure out something.
I saw a neat idea somebody had for the 40 days of lent this year. Find a large bag or box. Each day of lent, put a good piece of clothing, household item or whatever to donate to a thrift or charity store at the end of the observance.
GA, I feel your pain...it is overwhelming. I admire your approach of one corner of one room at a time.