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I am a 60 year old caregiver for my 74 year old husband. He has Parkinson's disease and has been bed bound for the last 21 months. I love him dearly. He requires total assistance. For the first year I had more energy, but between worry and some depression, I am tired. It's really not a question that I have. I just need to vent. I worry when he doesn't tell me what he wants, or if he's too hot or cold, or hungry or in pain. Some days he's more talkative and other days not. He understands most of what I ask him or tell him. He had a terribly painful yeast infection on his back recently (completely red and raw all over his back). Thank goodness for the Hospice Nurse and doctor that they could identify it and immediately order the medication to treat it. Thanks to the help of the nurse and aids he can be treated at home instead of the hospital. I was in a panic and felt so completely helpless and frightened. I hate feeling like that! Other than the yeast and Parkinson's, he's in stable health and eats well. I realize his condition can last for several years. I am happy to have him with me, but overwhelmed with this thought at the same time. He is a full code and has made this decision presently. I have depression meds, and aids 4.5 to 6 hours daily. We have no children, and relatives live out of state or an hour or two away. Friends have drifted by the wayside as time went on, and it's just us. My life seem like a twisted version of the movie Ground Hog Day. Then I feel guilty for feeling this way. I pray often.

Janpeck, welcome to are forum. There are others here with loved ones with Parkinson's you will get much support here. your not alone.

I'm sure your life has gotten very lonely, I am so sorry for all your going through.

Hope to see more of you here in the future, vent anytime.
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Jan, I'm glad to here that you have hospice on board and aides coming in daily to assist you. I hope that when the aides are there that you are getting out and doing some things that you enjoy, as that will help keep your attitude good and hopefully your depression at bay for a bit. And I also hope that you're involved in a local caregiver support group, as that can be a tremendous help to your mental health.
You must not forget that you matter too in this equation.

Your story is similar to mine, as my late husband who had vascular dementia was completely bedridden for the last 22 months of his life and also under hospice care for that entire time. And he was 12 years older than I.
And I too was his full-time caregiver, and was glad to be able to do it, though it was very stressful at times.
My local caregiver support group literally saved my life. I don't know what I would have done without all the good folks that helped get me through my tough journey with my husband. Please seek one out.
Also your faith can be great source of strength, as well as having a church family to walk along side you.
My husband has been gone for 4 years now, so I am here to tell you that this too shall pass, and that life does go on after the death of a spouse. And life is good.
So hang in there, keep praying, and keep doing the great job that you're doing. You will never regret being there and taking care of the man you love until death do you part. I'm sure he would do the same for you if the tables were reversed.
May God bless you and keep you as you walk this very difficult journey with your husband.
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Thanks for responding and the very kind words. It helps. Sometimes I feel forgotten.
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Jan, I am so very sorry.
You very much love hubby. Together you are still managing somehow and you seem to wish to continue. However, you are suffering some clinical depression and you may be risking your health at some point unless you get solid night's sleep usually. I worry for how long you can sustain this.

I understand your love and dedications. My heart goes out to you. And to your hubby as well.
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Thank you for your helpful words. I will find a local support group.
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God bless you. I hope you’re getting outdoors every day, even if for a walk in the fresh air. Everyone needs a change of scenery and fresh perspective each day for a bit. My hubby and I followed from afar as a dear aunt of his cared for her husband through years of Parkinson’s. There were so many struggles. When it became overwhelming in their home, he moved to assisted living and received excellent care. By the time he had to be fed each meal, aunt and he both had become so endeared to the staff he was allowed to stay despite not at all meeting the requirements of AL. Aunt was present at each mealtime to feed her beloved husband. Please care for yourself in all this, after all, hubby is depending on you to stay healthy and whole. I wish you both peace
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Jan, Praying you are comforted and strengthened in the name of Jesus. Amen.
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