Well I took a road trip to the state I was thinking of moving to. Drove 2 days. I have 3 days of appointments to look at apartments. So now that I am here, I am not sure I want to move and start all over again! All the hassles of moving, etc. the landscape here is beautiful, cost of living is cheaper. But I am struck by the fact that I don’t know a single soul here. And I can’t say that I want to move. Or that I have the energy to do it. And I’m rethinking if I want to live in the city. Starting to think I want a quieter life. And since I’ve been a renter, I’d like to have my own place, maybe buy a condo or mobile home. I think the emotional stress of losing my mother is still affecting me and perhaps I’m not ready for a major move to a new state at this time. Maybe after a good nights rest I’ll be thinking clearer in the morning. I really need some advice. Thanks.
I know how you feel about moving. Back when I was married, my hubby was always on the move with his company. Nothing like moving cats from one place to another :P Quickly finding a new place to live. Finding new doctors, new dentist, new hairdressers, and finding your way around.
If you find yourself still on the fence after seeing what housing is available, you could try to think of this as a new exciting adventure. That is what hubby and I did.
As for finding new friends, volunteer work is a great way of doing that :)
And you're right, things always do look better in the morning. Get a good night's sleep :)
Enjoy your trip. Maybe make another one back there later on. Explore the community you are in for opportunities that interest you - the usual take a course, volunteer, join a group, get a dog and walk it...
Be kind to yourself. It takes time, tears, toil (the work of grief) and talk ( expressing yourself) to heal. Time only works if you do the others. Keep coming back and letting us know how you are. Blessings
Maybe you don't need to improve yourself as much as you feel you need to, but to accept yourself as you are for now. I am not suggesting that personal growth stop permanently, but give yourself a break from the self analysis!
It is healthier to move towards something rather than just escaping something. I see, even in this short time, you are feeling your feelings and evaluating your situation, and I think that is good, Aiming at a nice modern condo or apartment sounds great as a start. I, myself, am contemplating a change and finding as I slowly move through stages of figuring it out, what I want, what is good for me, and what is reasonably possibly is becoming clearer. I started with an idea and am modifying it as I go along through the planning process.
Be aware that grieving is a rollercoaster ride. You may want to seek out a grieving group. Others will understand what you are going through. Certain times hit harder than others. 3 months 6, 9 and a year as well as special occasions like birthdays and holidays. You need to look after you. ((((((hugs)))))
And as far as renting, that is the plan, I've already contacted a place and am on the waiting list.
So now, I just want to sit back and not push myself so much and when the time comes, move.
I think your plans to get a location and living space which suits you better are great and also starting to paint again, a part time job etc. I imagine that will mean getting rid if the furniture you have now which may be more difficult than you anticipate.
One step at a time. I agree with Tacy - a grief counsellor or a grief group would help you. Not pushing yourself too much is good.