Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I've often used little phrases and jingles to keep on the bright and positive side of things but I'm drawing a blank now when I could certainly use one.
I say the Serenity Prayer a lot, particularly because it's non-denominational, plus you can leave out the first word if you don't like the "God" idea:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and The wisdom to know the difference!
Sometimes I rewrite it in my mind because I don't think it quite fits the bill. Example:
God, grant me the equanimity to shrug off the situations that annoy me, The vital energy to take steps to improve my life, and The wisdom to make good choices.
Another "catchy phrase" that I like is "one day at a time." When I feel overwhelmed, it's probably because I'm too far ahead of myself. Focusing on just what I need to do today--or even just what I need to do for the next hour--immediately helps cure that awful sense of overwhelm.
"Easy does it" is a good one.
I am sometimes subject to panic attacks along with depression, and I read that panic can be brought on by low oxygen/excess CO2 in the blood--so if I feel panic coming on, I BREATHE. Remember to breathe!!!
I think if you are in deep despair with burning out, care giving, and etc there is no "catchy phrase" that is going to help. You can say anything you want, but if every day is overwhelming and every day is dismal, then you know as you are chirping at yourself that there is no answer coming tomorrow. If this is just a momentary thing you are currently going through then "tomorrow will come, and this will be over" gets me there. Good luck.
I think of how much worse it could be....I could be a Kurdish woman who was living in Syria and is now homeless, and/or has lost her family b/c of the Turks; I could be living in another country riddled with strife, I could be a literal female prisoner in Saudia Arabia and be confined to wearing black robes...
Thanks, that is sort of what I do. I look at the homeless population in this country and thank my lucky stars every night when I cover up with a blanket to go to sleep that I am in a safe place. Most have it good in this country even if it's difficult it could always be worse. Way worse.The thoughts of taking care of my husband without my home is terrifying.
I have a few that help me at times when all I need is a boost:
1. "It's not me personally, it's the situation as a whole." (However, certain situations are mine alone to resolve/address. Learning to sort this out is very enlightening).
2. "I cannot control others. I can only control myself (and I need to make sure I'm doing that)."
3. "Blame is not important. Fixing the current problem is what matters."
4. "What specifically am I worried about and what can I do about it?"
Toni, I look for small positives that might be completely unrelated to my experience of what is making me feel low. The birds are singing, the days are getting longer, this bad weather won't last forever, some of the flowers/trees are in bud, I am treating myself to...(insert your preference here: cake, chocolate, a movie, flowers...). And most importantly, my feelings matter.
Other people in your life may be quick to volunteer what I call the "Put up, Shut up, Offer it up" words of (NON)wisdom. Please don't tell yourself this phrase!
I hear you as I'm in the middle of some stressful times right now and just this morning laid in bed saying the same thing - "this too shall pass." So here's a few I like:
A funny one being: "Dear Stress, Let's break up!" - which can make you chuckle.
A cute one: Since I've always loved Charles Schulz's Charlie Brown since I was a kid, he had a Snoopy/Woodstock poster with the quote: "Everyday may not be good, but there's something good in everyday." (me: you just have to look for it even if you need to use a magnifying glass; a large one at that - lol!) - which can make you smile.
A one for courage: Since my husband and I like aviation, I like the saying "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off going against the wind, not with it." - a serious one that makes you think about the truth and reality of the statement when it comes to life.
And an inspiring one I like is: "Do what you can, with what you have and where you are at." - which makes you realize what we actually HAVE to work with in the here and now since that's actually all we have - the here and now.
I have the variety which helps me with whatever mood I'm in on any given day!
I tell myself Accept what is, Let go of what was, and have Faith in what will be. Also I tell myself “No more bad days only bad moments” .... Hope this helps you
I tell myself when having a bad day "God is in control and He knows what is going on." Or I use "All things work together for them who love Lord according to his purpose."
If I am just struggling to get through the day I use "I am one day closer to the end of this mess" whatever that mess is at that time.
As always I use music to change my mood. Fun 80's music to get me out of my funk. 90's music to just be mellow. If I am in a bad mood or really stressed out then I play heavy or dark music and for whatever reason it makes me feel better.
Imagine your task is to eat the largest elephant in the world. It is so huge that it is 4 times larger than all the other elephants. Remember your task is to eat the elephant. How?????? You eat one bite at a time.
When I am looking at this overwhelming situation, I imagine the elephant. I have one little spoon in my hand - and I grin knowing I only need to eat a bite at a time.
The other technique I use is to remember. When someone or something pushes you, our reflect is to push back. Stop (mentally if you have to), Pause and take three steps backward (physically or mentally). When you do this, you are taking yourself outside the tension and it gives your mind time to not feel pushed.
I also picture one of the ropes that they use on naval vessels. It is huge! When I feel I am swinging in the wind, I remember that I am glued in God's hands and he is holding the rope. He's not letting go. I'm not alone.
The one I have used the longest is: do you remember the commercial showing large hands "You're in good hands with Allstate" I use this visual, "You're in good hands with God, and I breathe "I'm resting in His care!." You take a deep breath and say I AM RESTING....hold your breath....and slowly say as you exhale the air, say "IN HIS CARE." The deep breathing helps a whole lot with visualization. Bless you.
1. Well, THAT was fun. Not. NEXT... 2. The sun'll come out tomorrow (SING LOUDLY) 3. Ready to skip ahead to the next chapter now/ Where's the fast forward on this drama? 4. Just do what comes next. Keep moving, keep moving. 5. Just around the corner (original song on jw.org about having confidence in the Bible's promise of a new world to come)
Don't know of this will help, but it always makes me smile: Quite sometime ago, my husband, who is can always make me laugh, combined 2 well-known phrases into one:
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."
It has become such a catch-phrase here; but whenever I use it outside family, I get the strangest looks; I actually often have to remind myself that that's not the right was to say it!
My Bible study teacher always tells us this "It won't matter in a thousand years." Her mother used to tell her that when she was growing up and asking tons of questions. I now find myself telling myself when up against the wall ( so to speak) that 'it' won't matter in a thousand years.
When I move out "will my mother lose my dad's house?" Answer: It won't matter in a thousand years!
My mother complaining about something...It won't matter in a thousand years!
Something breaks...oh well, it won't matter in a thousand years!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can, and
The wisdom to know the difference!
Sometimes I rewrite it in my mind because I don't think it quite fits the bill. Example:
God, grant me the equanimity to shrug off the situations that annoy me,
The vital energy to take steps to improve my life, and
The wisdom to make good choices.
Another "catchy phrase" that I like is "one day at a time." When I feel overwhelmed, it's probably because I'm too far ahead of myself. Focusing on just what I need to do today--or even just what I need to do for the next hour--immediately helps cure that awful sense of overwhelm.
"Easy does it" is a good one.
I am sometimes subject to panic attacks along with depression, and I read that panic can be brought on by low oxygen/excess CO2 in the blood--so if I feel panic coming on, I BREATHE. Remember to breathe!!!
Best of luck to you!
The serenity prayer is also very uplifting. I printed it and made it into a bookmark.
"What is wrong at this very moment?"
The answer is always, "Nothing."
Unless I'm literally on fire or in horrible pain, nothing is EVER wrong at the given moment I'm asking myself that question.
So that allows me to relax and come back to the present moment.
Anxiety means I'm living in the future and worrying about something that may or may not happen tomorrow.
Depression means I'm living in the past and worrying about something that happened yesterday.
Most often, we're not living in the present moment which is really the ONLY moment that counts.
Try it, it may help you!
If this is just a momentary thing you are currently going through then "tomorrow will come, and this will be over" gets me there.
Good luck.
"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
;-)
1. "It's not me personally, it's the situation as a whole." (However, certain situations are mine alone to resolve/address. Learning to sort this out is very enlightening).
2. "I cannot control others. I can only control myself (and I need to make sure I'm doing that)."
3. "Blame is not important. Fixing the current problem is what matters."
4. "What specifically am I worried about and what can I do about it?"
I hear you as I'm in the middle of some stressful times right now and just this morning laid in bed saying the same thing - "this too shall pass." So here's a few I like:
A funny one being: "Dear Stress, Let's break up!" - which can make you chuckle.
A cute one: Since I've always loved Charles Schulz's Charlie Brown since I was a kid, he had a Snoopy/Woodstock poster with the quote: "Everyday may not be good, but there's something good in everyday." (me: you just have to look for it even if you need to use a magnifying glass; a large one at that - lol!) - which can make you smile.
A one for courage: Since my husband and I like aviation, I like the saying "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off going against the wind, not with it." - a serious one that makes you think about the truth and reality of the statement when it comes to life.
And an inspiring one I like is: "Do what you can, with what you have and where you are at." - which makes you realize what we actually HAVE to work with in the here and now since that's actually all we have - the here and now.
I have the variety which helps me with whatever mood I'm in on any given day!
Hope this helps you!
Also I tell myself “No more bad days only bad moments” .... Hope this helps you
The Ant Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S94Bh3Qez9o
My Way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH7iY-wAZ2s
If I am just struggling to get through the day I use "I am one day closer to the end of this mess" whatever that mess is at that time.
As always I use music to change my mood. Fun 80's music to get me out of my funk. 90's music to just be mellow. If I am in a bad mood or really stressed out then I play heavy or dark music and for whatever reason it makes me feel better.
I hope this helps!
Live for today.
Hope for tomorrow.
"Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia."
When I am looking at this overwhelming situation, I imagine the elephant. I have one little spoon in my hand - and I grin knowing I only need to eat a bite at a time.
The other technique I use is to remember. When someone or something pushes you, our reflect is to push back. Stop (mentally if you have to), Pause and take three steps backward (physically or mentally). When you do this, you are taking yourself outside the tension and it gives your mind time to not feel pushed.
I also picture one of the ropes that they use on naval vessels. It is huge! When I feel I am swinging in the wind, I remember that I am glued in God's hands and he is holding the rope. He's not letting go. I'm not alone.
The one I have used the longest is: do you remember the commercial showing large hands "You're in good hands with Allstate" I use this visual, "You're in good hands with God, and I breathe "I'm resting in His care!." You take a deep breath and say I AM RESTING....hold your breath....and slowly say as you exhale the air, say "IN HIS CARE." The deep breathing helps a whole lot with visualization. Bless you.
2. The sun'll come out tomorrow (SING LOUDLY)
3. Ready to skip ahead to the next chapter now/
Where's the fast forward on this drama?
4. Just do what comes next. Keep moving, keep moving.
5. Just around the corner (original song on jw.org about having confidence in the Bible's promise of a new world to come)
That usually sets me in a better mindset.
Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be will be...
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Quite sometime ago, my husband, who is can always make me laugh, combined 2 well-known phrases into one:
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."
It has become such a catch-phrase here; but whenever I use it outside family, I get the strangest looks; I actually often have to remind myself that that's not the right was to say it!
My dH said that sounds like a USMC phrase.
There is a video by FORT entitled: We'll burn that bridge when we get to it".
Is your dh a Marine? (Once a marine, always a Marine.)
It made me smile!
When I move out "will my mother lose my dad's house?" Answer: It won't matter in a thousand years!
My mother complaining about something...It won't matter in a thousand years!
Something breaks...oh well, it won't matter in a thousand years!
Don't know if it helps or not!!
a. "Not today", said with authority.
ToniTired,
Being tired is only one sign of a B-12 deficiency.