Even though mother has been gone 3 yrs Oct 1st, she still comes to me if I'm up in the early morning hours of 2:00 or 3:00. She whistles very lightly to me, I stop what I'm doing and talk to her. I know that sounds strange but it's the honest to Gods truth.
My dad died in 1989, I've had one "vivid" dream, I dreamt he was standing in our bedroom doorway (he'd already passed away), I sat up in bed and said "Dad, what are you doing here?" my husband woke and asked who I was talking to.
That was the only time I'd had any dreams of him, until mother died. Now once in awhile I smell cigarette smoke, he used to smoke and I know he's come to say hello.
I KNOW anyone that's read this is thinking I've lost my mind, but I'm just as sane as the next person...ok ...every other person...;) and things have happened to my youngest daughter whom she was closest to out of three children we have. I never get scared, it's more of a comfort feeling, knowing they're around helping us out.
Finding out last week, after having a heart cath done at a physician owned hospital, my HUSBAND of 48 yrs has 4 blocked arteries, 30% blocked carotid artery and damage to the back of his heart. I honestly think this stems from a work accident 28 yrs ago that would've killed any other man. Open heart surgery is out of the question due to the blood clots, some are stringy, others are spotty in places that a stent wouldn't make sense.
The drs prescribed Lipitor and sent him home !!!!!!!!!!
We saw our family physician, he changed his meds to Crestor something stronger for the clots, put him on Omega 2000 mgs and Niacin which opens the arteries. Changed "our" way of eating, not a diet, he's lost over 15 lbs, (I only lost 8) but I love ice cream and don't have any problems in that area. He's feeling better...said he could look down now and see his shoes...lol, I know that feeling and I'm walking on egg shells, as my Dr. stated.
We've gotten the financial items cleared in case something happens, but he's a veteran and will already have a plot, I don't know how that works with a wife.
This all hit us in the face, fast and furious...we both already knew life was short, time is precious and everyday counts, but this brings things into focus...down to the casket which we've not done yet. I remember going with my mother when she wanted to pick out her casket, she always told me "everyone has to die, it's a normal part of life"....wow...whatta mom, made it a little easier to accept but no less easier having her gone.
She was my best friend, shopping buddy and we ALWAYS ended up wearing the same colors of clothes when I went to pick her up at the Manor where she lived in an apt. It was so ironic. It happened 99% of the time.
If you've read all this....and You've gotten to this point listening to me, I can never thank you enough for being so caring, compassionate and loyal to being a "caregiver", because You just showed how much You do care, I Love You for it. God Bless.
Wow! So you have already had 28 years of "bonus" time together. That is surely something to celebrate! And now you have gotten an advance notice to get your affairs in order. That, too, is a very valuable gift. It is good that you are doing the appropriate paperwork and funeral prep. The other thing you really need to do is enjoy as many more memorable occasions as you can together. If hubby is up to travelling, take a cruise, or visit a national park, or go somewhere you've always thought about going "someday." See plays, go to concerts, have picnics in the park, invite relatives you haven't seen for a while to join you. Fish. Play cards. Do whatever it is that you enjoy doing together. One of you will die first. Build the memories that will sustain the survivor. Life is not over until the last breath. Grab as much joy as you can for the rest of your lives together.
I am so glad my husband and I did as much memory-making as we could during the ten years he had dementia before he died.