I wrote the title that way because my Mother died this past June, but..because of dementia she wasn't the Mom I remember.
The final year or so of her life was just confusion and inability to communicate. Nothing like the Mom I had.
I think I never mourned for the loss of my Mom, and now when I think of her passing...I realize that she really passed more than 18 months ago and I was just tending the body.
I miss the mom I lost, not the one that died in June
Anyone else feeling this way? It is so odd.
Since mom has moved to a NH I've been able to step back and gain a little perspective and I now realize that it doesn't have to be either/or, both sides are true expressions of her personality. I'm not sure I'll ever get back that feeling of my mom as my best friend, but at least I can now feel a measure of compassion for what age has stolen from her.
I did a lot of crying and grieving over the last 8 years. Now, there really doesn't seem to be much to be sad about, except that I miss who mom was. Not what she became.