My mother passed on January 13, 2021. I am not as sad as I thought I would be. I just can't be sad (at least not at this time) because I asked God to please release her because Alzheimer's and Dementia had ravaged her mind and body (she weighed less than 80 pounds). She did not appear to be in any pain and she did not stop walking until a week before she passed and her transition was smooth. This has been a difficult journey for me as well, in the last 6 years I have been the caregiver for three family members. This is the 1st time in 6 years that I have not taken care of at least one of them and I pray that I never have to be a caregiver again, it effects your health and causes you to grow old fast. I will continue to visit the forum, because I remember how comforting it was to see caregivers who's loved one had passed still responding to me. As always I pray that all of your situations work out for you.
Grace
And you? How are you? I remember how difficult it was to know what to do with myself, so I hope you're adjusting and taking your time.
My deepest condolences to you in the loss of your mother. I'm thankful that God answered your prayers for your mom to be released from a disease that is painful for not just them but, for their caregivers/loved ones. I'm glad she didn't appear to be in any pain and her transition was a smooth one. How amazing for her to have still been able to walk right up until the end especially weighing less than 80 pounds.
I'm sure you're most likely numb and any other emotions are just kind of on the backburner until they're ready to emerge. Right now, I can imagine you're exhausted especially having taken care of three family members. It will seem odd for the caregiving to suddenly have stopped and you will be trying to plan how you will fill in those times with something else. Sometimes we find it difficult as strange as that may sound not to know what to do with ourselves.
You're so right, caregiving affects our health and causes us to grow old way before our time.
As your name says, Grace - may God's "grace" and comfort be with you in the next phase of this long journey.
Do take care of yourself now and God bless you for all you've done! Many (((hugs))) to you!
I am sorry for your loss, but I am glad for the release for your Mom and your own release. I recall when my Dad died, and my brother--both men so loved by me my entire life--the feeling of "grace" if you will. That they had never to be exhausted, desperate, confused, in pain again. That they were safe. That I never to witness my own helplessness to make a difference in their daily losses of motor abilitiy, of dignity, of choice, of who they were, of their very minds. It was a relief. And yes, I felt sorry for myself, as well. While they will live within me every single day of my life, I will never see them again in this my life.
You will have an adjustment to make now. That won't be easy. If you need help, get it and I think Licensed Social Workers do best, those trained in life passage work for helping us to move into a life we forgot existed.
My best out to you. I find your ability to express this profound, and am so glad you did.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you in advance for staying around this forum. Those of us new on this journey will certainly benefit from your experience.
COVID19 DEMENTIA. YES she had supposedly tested Positive for COVID, but after 10 days I was told I could Not just do a Window visit(as I had done several times & that was almost unbearable).I was told I could Do a "Compassion Visit" and go inside, as her health had rapidly declined in 7 days time. I was tested for COVID after she was and we were both deemed OK-NO COVID. I Was still suited up from Head to Toe so I could go in to see her. I don't Really think she Knew I was there, but I talked, combed her hair and spent time with her. I told her it was O.K. to Let Go and go to be with my Dad. In less than 4 hours she passed. I really feel Mom is at peace now in Heaven.
So very sorry for the loss of your mom. May she Rest In Peace.
I thought maybe I was the only one feeling this way, but I feel the same way that you do. Mom was 82 and could not walk at all and was skin and bones. I wouldn't bet she weighed more than 60 or 70 pounds when she passed. I am not sad like I thought I should be after she died (I was there when she took her last breath). I have so much peace in my heart now instead of pain or sadness. I'm just so happy that she's better now and she knows my name! All of my siblings feel the same as I do. I think because we have been watching her die for the last year that we have been saying our goodbyes for so long. Dad is another story though but we are praying that he will pull through his depression. He had been in denial up until the week she passed.
I'm so sorry about the lost of your mom and you are in my prayers.