I moved my mother into my husband's and my home in November of 2005. She had fell at home and broke her hip. She was not able to live on own any longer anyway. This gave us an excuse to move her into our home. She was a very independent woman before the accident, but things have changed in the last few months.
Her short term memory is not good at all any more. She can not wheel herself around the house any longer.
She just got out of the hospital back in June about a 2 week stay with a blockage in her colon and then she contracted VRE. That is not fun to have in the home. I felt so sorry for her.
I am starting to have crying sessions it seems like every other day anymore. I do not see my mother any longer I see a person declining quickly. I am feeling overwhelmed and I don't think my family sees it. I have told them I need to get away for a few days, but that never seems to happen. No one has time to watch or be with mom except me. I am the only child so this is all on my shoulders. Her brother is not any help they have not spoke in several years now.
I do not know if I am just going through a stage or if I am starting to get depressed. I am with mom almost 24/7 except when a homemaker comes in daily. A person can go to Walmart just so many times to get out of the house. I seem to have lost my friends because I can not get together with them anymore.
This on-line discussion is a life line for me. This way I can communication with people and see how they handle different things that come up in their caregiving also.
So if anyone has advice please let me know how to get myself under control.
Losing Control
Gosh I sound coniving here!!!
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Nauseated
Happy Birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday take two tums and call me in the morning
and maybe you won't be nauseated tomorrow
I know it don't rhyme but that's my quirky sense of humor Neon
Anne, thank you so much!
Neon, I loved the song, thank you!
Thank you all for all of your compassion, and kind words. You all lift me up, when I'm down. God Bless all of you here on this site that read and post. I hope you don't think this corny, but I have to say "I Love You Guys!" Don't get nauseated by this LOL. Good Night!
Nauseated
Susan
I see on another thread edrex is having a tough time lets all pray for him, we who have been in similar situations know it will all work out in the end. Well better get to work. Please have a good day, hug yourself and tell yourself what a wonderful job you are doing if you don't well I just did. NEON
Judy I know its hard our prayers and concerns are with you. It is true she really can't help it, Mine makes lots of sounds to and when or if you bring it to her attention she tells you she never said anything its my imagination, Well I have some imagination she doesn't have to add to it LOL
John Denver so I will listen to Rocky Mountain High while I'm at it and all his other wonderful hits.
I also have a sister and 2 brothers who refuse to help in ANY way. I have no idea why they dont call or visit. My mother was a great mom.
Before she got real sick she asked me if she was a bad mother! She was a really good mom. Then, she made me turn the picture I put on her table of my sister and brothers face down. Breaks my heart because it broke hers.
I guess they all have full time jobs, kids of their own etc. But so did I! I had a career of paralegal and I have 3 grand babies and a step grand son! I gave up my career for my mother. At least I get to see the grand babies when ever I want.
Anyway, it is a hard job; watching my mom turn into a strange person that is nothing like my mother was. She used to be a vibrant, independant woman. Now she just lays in bed all day and I cant remember the last time she laughed or even smiled. She is bossy and mean and I have to talk and argue to get her to do simple things like wash up, take a bath or brush her teeth (she still has her teeth!). And it's no fun when she has bathroom accidents.
She is helpless. I guess thats why I care for her now. She cared for me when I was a helpless baby, now it's my turn. A little support from my brothers and sister would be nice. My sister does call me or email me once in a while, and she came over on mom's birthday. But my brothers: forget it. It's like my mom is already dead. sad.
Hang in there all you care takers. There is a very special place in heaven for you all!
luv,sue
One Physician suggested she go to a Geriatric Psychiatric Ward at one point, last year. I drove down 200 miles to do just that, only to find her in good spirits (at that moment), cooking dinner for herself, the house clean, and the laundry caught up. She was surprised to see us. She was doing so well, I didn't have the heart to take her to the place suggested. On what grounds would she be admitted. I'd be afraid they'd admit me if I tried that day, she was doing so well. But other days...boy! Slam dunk admission. One day I told her about the ridiculous amount of $$$ spent on medical copays and deductibles only to have her say, "So what do you want me to do, kill myself?" Where did that come from? I'm learning that she is allowed to complain, but me, never. And she can argue, but I dare not. Just go along with the Mama Drama. Some people have talked to me about her declining cognitive abilities. And she's even gone to a Neurologist for memory and cognitive testing (but no diagnosis). Perhaps she is early stage... Either that, or I need a shrink soon, for she really is driving me crazy!!! I give her slack, because she has the ability to enjoy familiar social activities, but I handle the important things, like finances. She scares me, but I don't know what to do. So far, I can get no back up from the Medical profession, or direction, etc. I don't know what to do, but I know something is wrong with Mom. I am tired of status quo, and not sure what direction to go. Any suggestions???