Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! Three years ago, my two older siblings decided that our mom, (unknown to her) and no discussion on my end, that she would stay live with me. Being single and an outgoing person for 40 years, I had to make major adjustments in my life. No more outings with friends or traveling upon a last minute notion. Since December, 2008 mom had taken ill, symptoms of dementia and her health failing. Then in January, 2009 she fell and broke her hip. WOW! More adjustments to be made. But let me share one thing, I've come to the realization that it is no longer about me, but for my mom. As long as their is a breath of air in her, it is a privilege to be able to care for her. I do come from a family of eight other siblings
(0)
Report

what a bummer 50 year reunion well if it makes you feel any better I live so far away from where I went to school I can't get to my 43rd this year, wow what a long time yet seems like yesterday. I remember graduation so well. Yes, i like to hang clothes on the line I get outside, the clothes smell fresh, I don't hang everything some things is just easier in the dryer and no ironing. Well good Austin at least you will be able to keep doing the things you like and need to do. I am the same way I do my things my mother is able to take care of herself for the most part funny tho how she can make herself something to eat but can't seem to make that one extra sandwich for me but thats okay I always say what goes around comes around its right up there with kill em with kindness Well the way the world is going there are going to be some of those hoity toity communities that will start allowing people to hang out their laundry people are going to have to start cutting corners if they haven't already, I planted my veggie garden last week end but I plant one every year so nothing new to me love those canned tomatoes I bring out in the dead of winter or those great pickles, and beans taste so good. Have a good day
(0)
Report

I am glad I am not the only who hangs clothes on a line in a lot towns around here it is not allowed- I have a dryer and put them in to fluff at the end- my next door neighbor also hangs hers out. We have been having temps in the 90's lately here in the NE - my grass needs to be mowed already I do the front with my small mower and my son offers to do the back if I do not get to it first at least I can still do that this year, the husband has agreed to have aides for 8 hrs. each day and after we meet with our accountant I will get that in line and will try to have it from noon to 8pm except on Sundays so I can go to church and thurdays so I can continue sewing cancer pads with our group at our senior center- I will not be able to get away this summer- our 50th high school reunion is this year which I probably will not be able to attend.
(0)
Report

Congratulations to Mom and Grandma, how wonderful a new little boy. On a sad note one of our nurses son died last night in a auto accident his dad was driving and he is okay but it was their only child. so you see the seasons come and go in our lives as well in our atmosphere. There are no answers we just have to know it is part of Gods plan. My neice had her tubes cut and tied after her second child , when she came up two years ago for Dads funeral she was so sick, she had been to the doctor no one could figure out what was wrong with her Yep she was pregnant Marissa is now a whole one year old. Beautiful, sweet and wish I could hold her in my arms she is 680 miles away but they keep updated with pictures so she was meant to be. she was born with a lump on her heart just last week she was checked for the third time the lump is gone her heart is fine, she was meant to be Marissa by the way means child from God. My sweet neice let me pick out her name.

Mother is still plodding along she is in such pain all the time don't know what to do for her we both have doc appts monday so will see if she will do what the doc says this time NOT and I will get to talk to mine about my pain, yes I have it to but Ikeep on going I don't give in too easily to anything could I be stubborn? not me LOL but in a good way YES It's best not to give in to every little pain just keep pushing and get something accomplished. or lay down and die. I choose the first. Snow storm sounds so funny to me down here in georgia just planted my veggie garden nice spring weather highs 80's lows 60's open windows clothes on the line just like the good old days. Again Congrats NAUS so happy for you Have a great day everyone.
(0)
Report

Dear barbees, what a great story! Thanks for sharing, it is so nice to hear. I have a story not related to venting also, but a happy one. My grandson was born yesterday at 3:02am in the back seat of their suv. He couldn't wait, right in the middle of the snowstorm, with very bad road conditions. He was delivered by a sheriff, on the side of the highway. Mom and baby are doing wonderfully. I took my dad to see him. I'm not sure he comprehends that this is his great-grandson or not. He often times does not remember his grandkids names, and I have to remind him. He instead says "your daughter", and I have to ask him which one he is talking about, because I have three LOL. Have a good day all, and keep sharing your happy stories in the venting section.
(0)
Report

Hi Everybody, I thought I'd drop a few lines to tell you about mom today. The temp. was about 90 degrees, so we all were out side most of the day. The little ones (2 year old and a 6 year old)were playing wiffle ball with the 6 year old's dad ( my son) when mom decided she wanted to play,too.So my son was pitching the ball to her and you know what? She was HITTING every one that he tossed to her. I told my so that they should put her on his softball team, they may do better. We got some pictures they were pretty funny.I had her sweep the sidewalk after I got done weeding the flowerbeds and she ended up sweeping the path that has pea gravel in it. It's 9:30 and she is whooped. Well I'd better go I think she might want to go to bed. See ya, Barb
(0)
Report

this has nothing to do with venting..but does anyone know how to change profile name. My member name went from mindingmom to Irene. Do you know how to chang back to mindingmom? Yikes! don't know how that happened!
(0)
Report

You do not need a doc to place her go to several nursing homes and talk to the social worker or go to your county office of the aging and talk to a social worker or Home CARE agencies that medicare uses will have social workers working there who would be able to come and assess her for what type of care she would need and help you make your decision to place her-I would visit nearby nursing homes- because I feel it is better for you if you can pop in at different times of the day to check on her if the husband has to be placed I would use the one he use to go to for rehab because it is nicer and would be closer for my son to go to visit- the one he is in now only has visiting hrs. from 11 am-to 8 pm and the other one has pretty much open visiting hrs. Carol would know more about this than me about other parts of the country but both my grandmother and my MIL were both admitted to nursings homes and the husband has been in rehab about 15 times in the last few years and it was always a social worker who got the ball rolling for admission to a nursing home or rehab. Her doc should help you but often they just assume that you can handle it unless their own parents are are older.
(0)
Report

How do I get her placed without a Physician backing me up, though? That's the question! Thanks for your prayers. You are in mine, too. Enjoy the peace you have at home today, and thank God for the positives, Austin.
(0)
Report

ANNE I am so sorry of all you have to deal with I do not know how you manage and it is probably time for a facility you can not keep this up it will kill you they do not realize what they are doing to you -when our son called to tell me he had reached Pittsburg last night I told him his Dad went back on what he had accepted at the meeting so our son what is he going to do stay there-I said no he wants to come home on his terms only. You are in my prayers and after she is placed after about 2 weeks she will love they usually have plenty of activities and ther will be lots of women in her stage of being active but not able to live alone any more,
(0)
Report

Wheat, watching the downward spiral is agonizing. You have many who understand that here.

Carol
(0)
Report

The last of my post was cut off...yet, again.

Mom said, "I don't want to talk about it; I'm trying to take a nap." She doesn't want to make a decision. I get to. Not a pleasant place to be. Already getting flack, and don't want more. So sad when it comes to this. I'm tired :( and I know Mom is. Thank God Dad and FIL are well-cared for...else you'd be seeing me in a psych ward...
(0)
Report

My Mom lives 200 miles away. She is not doing well. Just went to ER by ambulance a week ago last Monday. Had Cancer Surgery a week ago last Wednesday. Had follow-up last week. I drive back and forth like a yo-yo, and I and my husband and 8yr old are getting worn out. Thought Mom could make it. We hired a visiting nurse, physical therapist and social worker to go to her home. She's not cooperating or following their recommendations. My sis lives 350 miles away, and called me today saying Mom was going to call an ambulance and go to ER again today. She called the nurse, who was 180 miles away, who told her to rest. I called Mom several times.

I made a decision today. She's moving. And not into a new apartment. And not into ALF, but a nursing care facility. If doc won't help, I'll find one who will. We absolutely cannot go on like this. I drive down yet again on Monday Night. Mom has an appointment with a Cancer Specialist for a Consult on Tuesday. I will attend, then push whoever I can and do whatever it takes to see that Mom's needs are met. She's just not making it at home anymore. And she knows it. I tried to pin her down today, and she said, "I don't want to talk about it
(0)
Report

How hard it must be to see your parents decline right before your eyes. You are very strong to have them live with you in that stage of their lives. Luckily my mom is fairly healthy. Her block is not private. If you want the site, let me know. It goes out to all the kids, grandkids and friends. Today she was outside with my planting my garden. She tried to help dust this morning and dropped everything on the shelf. She moved into the living room and just dusted the tables. She folds all the clothes we give her to the best of her ability.
(0)
Report

Yes, I hear you. I'm watching my Mom, Dad, and FIL decline right before my very sad and sometimes teary eyes. Glad to hear you had an OK day. O how we need to treasure those moments. I store them in my good memory bank. Blessings!
(0)
Report

Well, today was a okay day for dad with his Parkinson's and Demenia. It is a day by day thing I guess. Just hard seeing him go down as you all know.
(0)
Report

Well, today was a okay day for dad with his Parkinson's and Demenia. It is a day by day thing I guess. Just hard seeing him go down as you all know. Still figuring out how I can go back to work with him and mom needing 24/ 7 care. Anyone have any idea's .
(0)
Report

Bloging sounds great it is a great way to keep in touch.
(0)
Report

Hello again. Thanks for all the responses. My moms blog is very positive. She tells me what to write and she can be very funny. She can also be very honest. She tells them she does not like some of my cooking and my dogs smell. But she does tell them that I treat her like a queen. My mom and I have not had the best relationship in the past and this is really good for me to finally have a better relationship with her. All of you sound like your parents are a lot more work than my mom and I cannot even imagine your days. Again, thanks for this site and I love reading all of your stories.
(0)
Report

I'm blogging, too. It started out for Dad, who went out of his home and away from friends and family and regular activities due to the progression of his Alzheimer's Disease. Now in it's advanced stage, he can no long participate, or appreciate pictures of others, but they can follow him through the posts and pictures as well. And it's gone International, which is so amazing. Mom and Dad hosted 53 youth exchange students over the years, and I've located 19 so far. Many countries are chiming in, and following "Dad" along his journey. Occasionally I add posts about my Mom. She's still at home, and can talk on the phone, etc. But there's health crises times when she can't, and I let people know. It's been very cathartic for me, and a blessing to see so many gather around my folks. Ours is a private blog, because it is very personal in detail, and makes me feel rather vulnerable as I pour my heart out. I control the visitors, and if someone is negative or judgmental, they're gone. I can also write messages to family members and friends there, who probably wouldn't connect with a site like this. I like the anonymity of this site, as well, though it's probably not as anonymous as I think. But in all, I've met some wonderful people in the process, and learned so much from all of you. Thank you all so very much, because it has helped more than you realize.
(0)
Report

I just want to say I love the idea of you doing a blog for her. It sounds like you both are enjoying yourselves. You certainly are making her life richer! Is it a private blog?

Mary
(0)
Report

Thank you all so much for responding. My mom was doing fine in the assisted living but it was 8 hours away from me and close to my 2 brothers. The boys did not give her the time she deserved from them. She only saw them about 2 times a month. It was also very expensive. When I lost my job last summer, it just seemed like a good time to bring her up to us. When I hear all about most of your days, it makes my life not seem all that bad. Most of the time I do not think she is very appreciative of what I have given up and what I do for her. My husband and I had a very happy life together and our 3 children were finally out of the house. Like I said, we are all getting used to our new situation. I need to find someone who can come and spend the night if we need to go away for a night. This has been rather hard for me to find out. I take her to the Senior Center 2 times a week for craft class and a crochet group. Sometimes I stay because it is very fun and my husband says that was not the purpose of taking her there. I try and keep her busy at home with games and excercise and walks. We also have a blog started so all of her kids and grandkids can keep up with what she is doing. That has been wonderful and everyone loves it. I take pictures of all the different things she does and I post them to the blog. I let her talk while I type when we update the blog. Thanks for listening.
(0)
Report

Hey Naus Missed you but I guess you have been just as busy as us. No Kathy don't feel guilty you need all you can get when you can. Its a hard job but I truely believe that somewhere somehow it will all work out for the best. Still folding clothes. Mom has slept all day I hope it just recoup time for her. She has me really worried. Only as we speak one of her children call to check up on her. The two that created such a scene haven't bothered as of yet. OH well!!!!
Love thoughts and prayers for all of us.
(0)
Report

Hello dear Naus. Nice to hear from you. Thank you. Blessings everyone, and welcome, Kathy! Time to self is a nice thing, but you're doing an angel's work right now. God bless you for that. We hear you, though. It can be tough, but there's many rewards in it, too. Will be praying for you and hope you can get some help.
(0)
Report

Hi Kathy! Welcome! You are such a sweet daughter, and your mom is so lucky to have you. You are so sweet to think about what will make her happy. We can ALL relate here to what you are saying about having time to yourself. Do not feel guilty, your mom would not want you to. You are so lucky that she is still pleasant to be around, most of us here do not have that anymore. The only thing I think about lately, is what will make me happy. Having my life back, and family life back. The only time I get to myself is posting here, and I am still constantly interupted. I guess I am being selfish lately. Why is your mom living with you now? Was the assisted living facility not working out?

Lazor, you sweet thing, your Mil is so lucky, and you are so good with her. Get some much needed rest.

Angel Anne! How are you doing, and your mom?

Neon! Keep making us laugh. And I enjoy your warm stories very much.

Have a good weekend all! God bless you all!
(0)
Report

Hi there. I am new to this vent room. I have my 79 year old mother living with my husband and myself. She has been here 3 months. She lived in an assisted living facility for 4 years after my dad died. We are all still trying to get used to the idea of her being here and having things run smoothly. She can walk on her own most of the time but I help her to the bathroom and I shower her and get her dressed. I am with her 24/7 as I see lots of you are. How do you get away? How do you have time for yourself? I feel like I have nothing of my own and all I think about is what is going to make her happy. She is almost always very pleasant to be around. She can stay by herself for about an hour. I slip away once in a while but I feel guilty and always come home quickly.
(0)
Report

I know but I have to wash things the IV they gave MIL is over flowing out lol. I just took a nice long hot shower and that helped. Im trying to do things slowly today but emotionally I wiped. I hate to admit it. So MIL and I are still in lounge wear going to be a halfway lazy day for us both. Notified all important dr of what happen waiting for one more response. Called a friend got venting relief there. Ill be ok. Just tired need my vitamins missed them yesterday that will perk me up to. lol
Gosh I even forgot to eat yesterday until last night. LOL BODY SHOCK. lol
Thank God for all of you listening and caring.
(0)
Report

LOL Anne, I am smiling believe it or not! Did I get to do sumtin stupid so everyone could laugh? The weather here is gorgeous, looking forward to doing my housework and laundry tonight while Hubby is out on the road and tomorrow planting some trumpet vines and tidying up my front and back yards. Took mother out last night to shop she did real well and even kept her word wow so that makes me happy as long as she does that we will get along fine, the folks in my life don't realize it takes very little to make me happy, if they would just be thoughtful they would be treated like kings and queens. That s just who I am.

Susan yes listen to Anne get you some rest if you can even if its a few min here or there some of the stuff you have to do can wait. You need to be at least second on your list of things to do. Have a great one
(0)
Report

I hear you on the tired side of things, Susan. My heart goes out to you. Fatigue will wear you down, along with a few negative relatives and drama queens. Take care of you, and know you're in our prayers.

Neon, smile! You're on candid camera.
(0)
Report

Thanks everyone for listening. It just makes it so hard when you have siblings that just want to be in control when its the public eye. But not do anything else but cause problems. I was so proud of hubby sticking up for me and telling no it all sister in law that his mom was what was important nothing she had to say was. She is a b@@@@ from hell. I didn't need her drama. Again thanks for listening. My heart goes out to all.Thanks Neon thanks Anne

One tired woman here
Susan
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter