I moved my mother into my husband's and my home in November of 2005. She had fell at home and broke her hip. She was not able to live on own any longer anyway. This gave us an excuse to move her into our home. She was a very independent woman before the accident, but things have changed in the last few months.
Her short term memory is not good at all any more. She can not wheel herself around the house any longer.
She just got out of the hospital back in June about a 2 week stay with a blockage in her colon and then she contracted VRE. That is not fun to have in the home. I felt so sorry for her.
I am starting to have crying sessions it seems like every other day anymore. I do not see my mother any longer I see a person declining quickly. I am feeling overwhelmed and I don't think my family sees it. I have told them I need to get away for a few days, but that never seems to happen. No one has time to watch or be with mom except me. I am the only child so this is all on my shoulders. Her brother is not any help they have not spoke in several years now.
I do not know if I am just going through a stage or if I am starting to get depressed. I am with mom almost 24/7 except when a homemaker comes in daily. A person can go to Walmart just so many times to get out of the house. I seem to have lost my friends because I can not get together with them anymore.
This on-line discussion is a life line for me. This way I can communication with people and see how they handle different things that come up in their caregiving also.
So if anyone has advice please let me know how to get myself under control.
Losing Control
You do need to look into getting someone to come in and sit with him so you can get some time to yourself. Your own health really will suffer, if you don't. Then, what will your husband do? He needs to learn that you need to take care of yourself as well as him. Please check with your county social services or your state aging services to see if there is some respite care available, if hiring in-home care - even a few hours a week - is out of reach financially.
Meanwhile, keep venting. People here understand.
Carol
I work part-time, and go to school, my husband also works. It's been really frustrating sometimes, but we take in count of grandma's age 85. Especially when she repeats herself and asks the same questions 20 times within an hour. Thanks for letting me vent. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
Carol
You can chat with each other. I find that so helpful.
Please pray for me that I can go through my things, pare down, and start today to feel I belong here and am not a bag girl (lady) LOL.
They say bloom where you are planted
Carol
Barb
Carol
I need to vent for a while. If you go back through the back pages you will get the background on me. Now, as of augest 5 I got so fed up at work with my superviser (of two years out of 10) that I quit. In his eyes us women should be at home raising babies and being a June Cleaver(from Leave It To Beaver)since then I've been a babysitter for my great granddaughter at 7:30 in the morning,taxi for my 17 year old granddaughter to school at 11:45,taxi for my son who doesn't have his driving privilages (DUI) to work at 3:00 ,I take 17 year old to work at McDonalds at 4:00 then pick her up at 8:00 then I do my chorse I have two horses and 12 pygmy goats 3 dogs and 13 cats. They help me cope with everything , at about 11:00 I have mom go to bed I have to tell her how to get dressed then I wait until 11:30 and go get my son from work . I get to bed about 1:30 and don't sleep well because mom goes to the bathroom in her room,out in the hall or in my room. Then it starts all over again the next day.
Today is my mothers birthday. Nothing, nada, zip from anyone. I am tired of having to do everything - and very anguished that body cares. I am only writing this because it is a choice between venting on this board or making an unfortunate series of phone calls I will regret later." Cat
I can totally relate. My birthfather, who I am caring for, gave my cousins, his friends, and others so much when he was able... we weren't close, but, he has been both a chore and a help to me since I started caring for him... but, nobody in his family (guess it's mine too - but we are not close) remember him at all since he no longers gives them great gifts, help, work references, etc. etc. Now that he is incapacitated & I've taken his care on - they NEVER call... I did a very bad thing once... and still am not too sorry for it... I called ('phone calls I will regret later') and left messages that Chris had passed away... that was how anquished I was with their selfishness... when they called in a few days to find out details, I didn't answer... then I let Chris call them... (I told him what I had done & he thought it was a great idea) .. it didn't them change much... but, made me feel good that they suffered a little... I mean these people really were in it for themselves when they knew him & I've asked for help many times- even a call (and not a lot either)... I am an only child... but, was raised by my grandparents... but, as I take care of Chris.. I realize now... he is my friend too... and maybe my only real friend... maybe I sound cynical.. but, I can relate to your making a wonderful week for your mom... it helps both of you... live large while you can... Logan's has a special (2 dinners for $13.99) on Monday & Tuesday's 3-6... we just may go there today & put it on our overtaxed credit card!
(my other comment was cut off!)
Today is my mothers birthday. Nothing, nada, zip from anyone. I am tired of having to do everything - and very anguished that body cares. I am only writing this because it is a choice between venting on this board or making an unfortunate series of phone calls I will regret later." Cat
I can totally relate. My birthfather, who I am caring for, gave my cousins, his friends, and others so much when he was able... we weren't close, but, he has been both a chore and a help to me since I started caring for him... but, nobody in his family (guess it's mine too - but we are not close) remember him at all since he no longers gives them great gifts, help, work references, etc. etc. Now that he is incapacitated
You hang in there too, keep me updated on your problem. Take care.Mari
Barbees
How do I handle this without losing my temper and my mind.
Thanks so much, Mari
Keep posting and reading. We want to know how you are doing.
Carol
Carol
This is Barbees checking in. Cat I can relate to what you're going through. We had our Thanksgiving dinner on the 16 at my sisters. Not a single person paid any attention to mom and there were about 23 of us.
I am keeping her busy & she is having a great time. I played the dvd of a Rain concert (beatles tribute band) & did a singalong. She loved the prezzies from me & the dog - - taking her out again tonight. I am making this whole week her week.
even if I do have to squeeze in work.