I moved my mother into my husband's and my home in November of 2005. She had fell at home and broke her hip. She was not able to live on own any longer anyway. This gave us an excuse to move her into our home. She was a very independent woman before the accident, but things have changed in the last few months.
Her short term memory is not good at all any more. She can not wheel herself around the house any longer.
She just got out of the hospital back in June about a 2 week stay with a blockage in her colon and then she contracted VRE. That is not fun to have in the home. I felt so sorry for her.
I am starting to have crying sessions it seems like every other day anymore. I do not see my mother any longer I see a person declining quickly. I am feeling overwhelmed and I don't think my family sees it. I have told them I need to get away for a few days, but that never seems to happen. No one has time to watch or be with mom except me. I am the only child so this is all on my shoulders. Her brother is not any help they have not spoke in several years now.
I do not know if I am just going through a stage or if I am starting to get depressed. I am with mom almost 24/7 except when a homemaker comes in daily. A person can go to Walmart just so many times to get out of the house. I seem to have lost my friends because I can not get together with them anymore.
This on-line discussion is a life line for me. This way I can communication with people and see how they handle different things that come up in their caregiving also.
So if anyone has advice please let me know how to get myself under control.
Losing Control
Our prayers are with you. This is such a difficult time and you need support from those around you and here too. Thinking of you.
Linda
I will be thinking of you each and every day. I am sorry to hear about your mother.
Never look back at what might have been.
Everyone here knows you did a wonderful job taking care of your loved one.
You keep in you the good times and let the rough times go.
Thinking of you!
Thank you iharebeck I am not the only one.
That in itself makes me feel better. I guess misery love company.
Now I know I am not alone
he willbe coming home tmr and im feeling sick to my stomach about it cuz i enjoyed comin and going as i please , aftertmr it all stops and i willbe a prisoner inmyown home again .
dont feel bad about that . i keep teling myself well winters coming so u be stuck at home anyway . might just swell enjoy pa all over again ....
I have seen good hospice and bad hospice in my area. I beleive it is the nurse that makes the difference to me.
I have only worked with hospice in the nursing homes, so that may be different than in your own home.
I am writing just because I do need to vent.
I am not having a good week-end. Everything is starting to close in on me again. I go thro this every once in a while. This is just another time, but it is not easy.
I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. My mother has lived with us for about 3-4 years I have lost track.
I have no privacy. I never have time for myself at home with no one there. I just want to kick back in my own home and be alone for awhile. Is that bad of me?
I do not vent to friends because they have their own problems to deal with. I feel like I am being whiny since I did make the decision to move her into my home.
I do not regreat it at all. But there are days I wish I could have her gone for a day.
Am I wrong in feeling this way?
We are all here for you. Some days are tougher than others. So let us help you with your burden of grief.
i am going to bring dad home this tues from rehab , they dont take good ccare of him butthe phyiscal therapy is wonderful .
in a way i do want him home but in other way i dont want to bring him home cuz he has gotten worst . hollarin whiney and i am scared its going to be 4 times hard work for me ...
i enjoyed my freedom sept 25th till here soon . i tried to do everything i want to do but end up didnt cuz havin to go back forth to nursing home and here home . been busy every weekend to stock up all the firewood , get ready for winter .
a very confsuing moments and scared what it be like to bring him home again .
It's always a roller coaster ride as you all know. Last night he shaved himself and was so sweet to deal with. This morning he clogged my toilet at five a.m. and repeatedly flushed the toilet and flooded my bathroom. I'm constantly having to make up contraptions to keep him from nonsense. Now it's a cardboard cover on the toilet handle so he can't flush (he never flushes the damn thing anyway unless he's thrown something in there that doesn't belong there) Respite stay coming in 5 days---I cannot 'freakin' wait. To be able to take a shower without someone beating on the door, to have company over without a drama show,to be able to sleep at night without being woken up with nonsense, to not be accused of nonsense---- 10 days of normal!
Carol
This is so very sad. I am a huge hospice fan, but I have found lately that they aren't all "created equal." In fact I wrote about it this month. I've been reading on this forum about too many hospice situations which surprise me. I now realize I was spoiled.
Still, you may be right about your being a nurse. That should not figure in to this. She is your mother and you are in as much emotional pain as anyone. But, if they are overwhelmed, that may be their (unfortunate) rationale.
People are still chatting away and "venting" but they are on different threads. These threads sometimes take on a life of their own for awhile and then people drift to another question.
We are thinking of you and we are with you in our hearts.
Carol
You are sooooo funny. I would give anything to have been the fly on the wall at your mom's. My mom said she wanted to give some of her things to my brother. Stopped that one dead in its tracks!! She just doesn't get it . At least you can laugh at your situation. Keep us in laughter! Thanks.
Linda
I often just look at him and think "what DOES he think about?" I'll never quite get it.....