My mom brought me a ton of meat and ingredients so I could cook and freeze many meals for she and my dad. These are recipes that I've fed them at my house and they loved them! Today, two weeks late, I found almost all the food I made STILL in their freezer! And all along, mom complaining about being tired and not wanting to cook!!!!!!! Any one have a story like this, please share, AND any advice would be helpful! Aaaaaaaahh!!!!!
Is it that she no longer enjoys eating and just doesn't care?
Could it be that she wants your father to step up every once in a while instead of having the task always fall on her?
Perhaps she is tired of all the little every day chores and would be happier if they would retire to an assisted living place where they would be taken care of?
Or is your mom one of those people who just likes to grumble about everything and never will be satisfied?
All i can say is, this is no longer about you. It's about them and their perception of reality.
On the issue of the freezer food, did you store it in one-size meal containers, so that your mother can remove it, pop it into a microwave safe bowl and heat it up? I use the Ball freezer containers which contain just enough for one meal. Or I use the 2-part dishes, similar to commercial frozen food containers, but the ones I use are much thicker and are reusable, which the commercial ones are not.
If she doesn't want to cook, perhaps the issue is in the packaging and what it takes to heat it up. If it's a large container of food, that means dealing with leftovers, which she may not want to do. Surprisingly enough, that can be a big issue with elders.
If your mother complains of fatigue and not wanting to cook, I think those are your 2 clues.
First, address the fatigue - it could be because she's not eating, but are there other issues? Secondly, if she doesn't want to cook, as I suggested above, store the food in one-dish freezer containers so all she has to do is pop it in the microwave.
Try making small smaller meals, get some of the good quality 2 part microwave safe dishes, and see if that helps.
Another alternative if they're homebound is to consider Meals on Wheels. The food isn't necessarily restaurant quality, but it's varied, nutritious, and generally good. And they get the benefit of social interaction from the volunteers who deliver the meals.
I know that tired feeling, even the thought of getting something out of the freezer, dishing it out, and heating it up feels like too much work.... hey, a bowl of Cheerios is simple and easy, and just enough for dinner.
I never realized how helpless Dad was round the kitchen until my Mom passed away. Then one night we got a phone call at 8pm, it was Dad asking where is dinner. I blame Mom for making the kitchen her territory only, no one is allowed in until the food is on the table. Couples need to be cross trained.
And let's not forget, as we age we lose our sense of taste. Thus we tend to eat really sweet items. I remember my Mom's grocery list was filled with Little Debbie, pies, cakes, ice cream, etc.
The two section small freezer containers like GA mentioned work great for entrees also.
I freeze cooked meatloaf slices, 2 to a pack - easy to thaw and use for sandwiches.
Also, would it help them to have a list on the freezer of what's in there to eat?
For myself, since I really really hate to cook, we have a lot of Lean Cuisine type items, or Marie Collander.... yes, they are high in sodium. Or I wonder if one pre-makes salads where Mom/Dad just need to pour on the salad dressing would be easy for them.
I like GardenArtist's idea of Meals On Wheels, I can see that in my future... as something someone else cooks is always good in my book :)