We have been warned they will report us to the state for elder abuse if we take him home without a plan. He is an alcoholic and ruined his health.
I'm struggling with anger, he put us in this situation and guilt, because he has always harped on us to never put him in a nursing home. He was transported from the hospital to a rehab facility and has been there for 6 weeks. His treatment ended this week and now we are scrambling to figure out what to do with dad.
Barely speaking to my siblings because they are in denial about his score of 10 on the dementia test.
Does dad have resources to private pay? Does he own a home, is he a VET? Does anyone have power of attorney for finances or for health?
Your siblings can deny your dad's dementia (my family insisted that mom was "sharp as a tack" for a long time) but what is undeniable is that a legal mandated reported has told you that dad cannot go home unassisted, for whatever reason. He's no longer safe to live alone.
Get the siblings into the room and let the professionals do their jobs.
I'm not a very patient person when it comes to fools and alcoholics. In your shoes, I would resign my Power of Attorney in an orderly fashion and allow your dad to become a ward of the state.
If a lawyer was involved in drafting the PoA, I'd seek that person's advice.
And by the way, I didn't mean to imply that YOU are a fool; I meant your siblings!
I just talked to dad. It's hard to believe he has dementia on the phone. But to look at his house is another story.
RESIGNATION OF AGENT
I, _________________________, of address ___________________________, city of ________________, County of _______________, State of ______, hereby resign as agent under the _______________ Power of Attorney created by _________________________ and dated ____________________.
My resignation is effective on ____________________.
Date: ________________________
____________________________________
Signature of Agent
State of _______________
County of _______________
The foregoing instrument was acknowledged before me this _____ day of __________, 20____,
by ______________________________.
_________________________ ____________________
Notary Public Signature My commission expires:
(Notary Seal)
You'd be wise to go to family meetings, not to argue but to make sure they don't decide his care is in your hands. Also, you'll probably want to let the social worker and discharge planner know that you will not be taking him home with you, and will not be staying with him at his home. Maybe it's a bit paranoid, but you want to head off the sibs telling them otherwise.