Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
Since they will have one anyway she’d like to limit it to parents , siblings ( and spouse , or SO ) and close friends , and any few relatives particularly close to .
The fiancé says his mother will expect all the aunts , uncles, cousins , second cousins , great nieces and nephews etc to be invited . And there are a lot of them.
She only handles high end weddings, costing a million dollars and up. Some of her clients spend a fortune just on the dress!
You would not believe the amount of planning that goes into these types of weddings. She works really hard for her clients.
Every year she flies to New York to see the latest trends in bridal gowns.
She knows all of the best places for local weddings and destination weddings.
She is up to date on everything because her clients expect her to be.
Only the very wealthy people can afford weddings that expensive. No one should go into debt for their wedding!
I just don't understand it at all.
If that's what they want and there dream that's fine but they shouldn't expect others to spend there life's fortune for it.
People are spending the amount of money on the just the shower that I would spend on a wedding
My husband has a coworker that went to Hawaii , just him and his bride , they married and honeymooned there .
When they came back they had a big backyard party for alot less money , because they also had just bought a house . They told the guests not to give gifts.
I thought this was great , however I would like to attend my children’s weddings if possible .
My friend got married and honeymooned in Hawaii nearly 40 years ago . Just her groom’s parents were present . They spent a few days together on one island then the two couples went their seperate ways to continue their respective honeymoon/ vacations. The bride’s father had cancer at the time . She felt it was too much to plan a wedding and all . Her Dad died a few months later .
Pre-Covid, there were package weddings in Adelaide for couples from Japan. They had 'all the trimmings' (including a horse-drawn arrival, wedding in a rose garden, and lots of photos), but no guests!
We learned never to tell my MIL anything until after the fact !
Golden , two beds . Lol
cwillie, some of the worst wedding drama stories I have heard are due to caving in and inviting certain people .
I’m all for secret small weddings.
my kids limit it to the 48 continental states for weddings . It’s less complicated for all than going to another country .
My daughter’s and her finance’s friends and family are spread out too but most are in the eastern part of the country . So they are choosing somewhere on the east coast . But again, most people have to travel no matter where it is .
My son basically asked the whole wedding party first if they were ok with Vegas when they had to replan the whole wedding . It was small . Just parents , siblings and some friends , a couple of cousins. When he booked it they still had limits for numbers of people allowed in a venue due to Covid .
We have all hoped to not get an invitation to some weddings because it’s too far , you won’t know anyone else , whatever . You breathe a sigh of relief when you don’t get invited .
Well , my sister in-law ( who we never saw even when we lived 10 minutes away ) was annoyed she didn’t get to decline an invitation , even though she admitted she would never go !!
You can’t please everyone .
No matter who they are. 😂
In my son’s case , just about everyone who is important to him and willing to come to his wedding were going to have travel no matter where it was . My son has lived in 4 states . His friends have also moved around since college for employment . His friends and the few family members he is close with are spread out across the country . He also requested no gifts. Their presence if they should choose was more than enough . No pressure , no obligations . The people who wanted to come came and made a vacation out of it . I think weddings are changing . People understand if someone can not spend the money to travel . As well as people are beginning to understand that you don’t need to invite people you never see or hear from just because you share a fraction of DNA .
It was a very nice low key intimate wedding at a nice resort . Attendees were given a discount , it was when we were emerging from Covid in the Fall of 2021. The resort was hungry for business . It ended up very reasonable . The guests were happy to see each other again.
This all came about because Covid killed their original plans in 2020.
way - I get it. My mother wanted my wedding to be centered on her. I cancelled our first plans and gave her three weeks to curtail her meddling so we married sooner than originally planned. I couldn't stand the interference. Even then...Eloping was brilliant! Actually I didn't make a good choice of a husband and if we had set the wedding when we had first planned, it might not have happened. My father booked us into a very exclusive resort for our honeymoon. When we got there - twin beds!!! Aaaargh!
nacy - you should get another job...Oh my goodness. All about money. I have a dil like that. For a while she wanted me to fund thus and that for her. I finally set the limit - no more. .
cw - destination weddings are great for those who want them as long as they realize not everyone invited could/would go. I would feel free to go or not according to my finances and inclination a
I had very little involvement in my kids' weddings. They did their own thing. I helped when asked to and was happy to do so and be there.
Alva - I hear you about not understanding English in England. I lived in the UK for about 6 years, 4 of them mainly in Scotland. I was OK in England but some of the Scottish accents were impossible of me. After being away for holidays I had to relearn them. Loved Scotland. I think Canadians tend to like it better than England - a little wilder. Great memories!!!
Need - nice story, you were fortunate with your mil. When mine heard about our engagement she said "What's new". Her other son had just become engaged
My husband and I were shopping for my engagement ring. Suddenly, I heard a recognizable voice behind me saying, “That’s a lovely ring!” I turned around in it was my MIL to be.
She happened to be shopping for a watch at the same time we were shopping for my ring. So, that’s how she found out about our engagement.
She was thrilled and said. “I was so hoping that one day you would become my daughter!”
I was extremely fortunate to have a wonderful mother in law. She had three sons and was thrilled to gain a daughter.
She said that I was the daughter that she always wanted. Unfortunately, we lost her too soon to non Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
She was only 68 when she died. She knew my oldest daughter. She didn’t live to see the youngest one being born.
I'm surprised there are still people out there living like it's early 1900s.
But there is actually a lot!
Willie, most definitely! People expect so much from you these days.
My other daughter in-law told me I should of gotten a second job so I could pay for my SON to have a baby shower. That's a very long story.
Couples should do whatever they want. It’s their day!
I forgot to mention my husband made the mistake of telling his parents he was going to propose. My MIL wanted to pick out my engagement ring.
No way did I want to look at my ring and think of my MIL !!!
Now I realize my engagement ring is also a symbol of the start of setting strong boundaries with her !
I agree, with Alva on this one you should live so many miles from your parents, in many cases that is very true!
An east coast wedding sounds great. I know of someone getting married in Bath Maine, this year
Your son should move somewhere that his future in laws wouldn’t want to go to .
My son’s was in Las Vegas. Lots of fun .
Only 30 of us.
My mother in law threatened to refuse to come to our wedding because we wouldn’t let her invite 100 of her “ closest friends “. Plus she wanted a say in picking out the venue , the date , colors , flowers, my dress , tuxes , food , cake etc. She acted like it was her day , not ours .
We canceled and eloped . Best thing ever.
I don’t understand why people think they can dictate their children’s weddings . It should be what the couple wants . I give my kids a flat rate monetary donation towards the wedding. If they go over that budget they pay the rest .
I tell my kids , I just hope to be invited .
Just tell me where and when to show up and I’ll happily come without any criticisms, meddling , or requests.
My other child is not married yet . She wants something smallish somewhere on the East coast on the beach . That won’t be a problem for me since I live on the East Coast. I’m glad she doesn’t want it in some country I would not be comfortable going to .
You lived the best life Alva!
In Brighton we got an order of pasties and the sweet young man said to us:
"A-ow o 8-nnn".
He said it about 10 times, poor thing, before we knew he was asking us whether we wanted to take it out, or were we eating in the restaurant.
Accents were amazing across the country and in Wales, Ireland.
I learned a bit of the language for every country we went to and I can still ask how much it costs in Czech!
He is a micro biologist, she does computer graphics. Honestly they are living there best life and that's what I want for my kids
Her parents are very helicoptery , trying to put it a nice way. My son wanted a destination wedding so they didn't control anything. He was hoping no one would come. Lol but her parents are going. I'm going to decide on the fall. No pressure at all to feel that I have to go.
They where actually planning to move, and her parents are all excited because they are moving with them . So now not sure if they are moving.
And yes he knows what he is up against, with her family. Lol