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Had to fight baseball ⚾️ traffic leaving work

found the Viking alone in a room with a plate of uneaten dinner

hoca shortstaffed again and no one could help her in solitary confinement

they've also changed the code so no one can enter or leave unless someone is at the front desk to be buzzed in or out
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I've had some bad dentists too Madge. In my youth and just last week in fact.
I sympathize.

Glad she is doing better.
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the Viking seems better now a few days after finishing the antibiotics

she's still banned from the dining room
she is complaining of her teeth hurting when she eats and cries out

she had a very bad dentist in her youth that did nerve damage when pulling a tooth so when she tells me her lower jar hurts I know what's she's saying

I have a care plan meeting later this month - as long as they don't force her out of her room, I'll cave on the dining room issue
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How's the Viking Madge? I hope she is doing better. Is she still shut out of the dining room?
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Becky,

how are you and Jay?
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Dentists! Don't get me started!

I've been having dental woes as of late. Not fun. The poor Viking. :(

Doesn't look good? I thought the whole point was providing comfort and care for our elderly. Who cares how it looks? I think it looks worse when you walk through a facility and see elderly shut up in their rooms peering out when you walk by. Or wandering the halls aimlessly.
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madge - the new admin are somewhat outrageous IMHO!!! It doesn't look good to have old people reclining in front of a TV???? 🙄 I am sorry. Hope you can get it sorted out. I agree with giving the dentist another try. Tooth pain is the pits.
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Madge, maybe time for a visit from the ombudsman?
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I think I'd still give the dentist a go.

The thing is, there are things like trust and authority that come into it; and an aide chasing you round the bathroom with a toothbrush doesn't have the same sway as a kindly dentist with the right chair-side manner.

Or sedatives..? :/

What does "too loud" for breakfast mean? Are all the residents hung over or something?
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Oh, Madge! From bad to worse.

I'm so sorry for this turn of events. No good suggestions, I'm afraid.
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I got some corporate nonsense response when asked why she wasn't given breakfast
since the new powers that be have not talked to me directly and only the local staff are gossiping, it seems mom's behavior is the problem - she's too loud - evidently they want her kept in her room, which last night I gather they are trying to boot her from as well
Meanwhile, the ambulatory trouble makers are still free to roam about and cause havoc

the head office is trying to paint an unrealistic picture of what they provide and what dementia is
they have moved recliners out of the tv room because it doesn't look good for people walking into the facility to see an elderly person asleep in a chair because after all they'll all about improving lives through their activities

I know mom has cavities under her crowns and she says her teeth hurt so this is part of her bad mood assuming we got the UTI cleared

two years ago, her dentist advised against trying to replace the crown, thought it would hold a few years given her age
now she won't even let them clean her teeth so no way he could work on her and he doesn't do sedation even if we could get her out of her wheelchair

otherwise, her vitals are good
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Madge, I am sorry to read about the Viking. Why have they kept her out of the dining room? Do they think she is contagious with something? Or maybe too hard on her to go to meals? Why wouldn't they give her breakfast? Does she seem worse after she eats? When was the last time she ate? Not even her oatmeal and banana?🍌🍌

Is the Viking on hospice? Has she been evaluated? Maybe her organs have begun to shut down?

I hate to ask all these questions. When the time comes it is hard for many of us to recognize and acknowledge what is happening. Know that I am thinking of you and the Viking. Many hugs.🌼🌺🌻🐞🐞🐈🐦🐓🐥🐥

Why is it that water heaters and furnaces don't last like they used to? Seems like they used to last forever. Now we are lucky if they last 8-10 years. And wasp nests, UFFDA!🐝🐝🐝
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They what, MsMadge?

I can see why it might be best for the poor Viking not to go to the dining room while she's under the weather, but not why they wouldn't mention it and especially not how they think it's okay to leave her unfed.

Can anyone else do the wasps for you? They "only" have to detach the nest, drop it on the ground and stamp on it (I've seen it done. I was hiding behind a tightly closed window at the time, mind).

Well, this sucks. Wish I had more to offer than sympathy.
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HUGS Madge! Hang in there!
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It's been a tough couple of weeks - thought the old Viking would be better - she just ended a week of antibiotics but is still roaring like a t- Rex
I suspect her teeth might be the problem
at this point, the dentist wouldn't even be able to examine her

to make matters worse, hoca has gone from bad to worst - the head office has come in to run things - cost cutting has been evident for awhile now but they're most concerned about their investors not the residents

without telling me, they have banned the Viking from the dining room - she was left alone this morning and not given breakfast

my head is pounding - $1,800 for a new hot water heater yesterday - there's a big wasp hut outside the front door that I didn't notice and need to deal with

sorry for the vent, I'm in a bad place mentally

not sure how to comfort mom, she cussed me out during prayers tonight
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HI, Ms. Madge! How does The Viking?
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The words were spoken that no one wants to hear.
I did not cry in your presents to show that your little girl was strong.
Oh but how my heart broke when you passed. Nothing will ever be the same.
You were the reason I could go into the world so fearless because I knew if the world became cruel you were there to cover me. You gave me a safe place to land.
You were my rock in which I could stand on and knew I could face any strom that came my way.
You taught me so much with a love only a dad could give.
You gave me a father's wisdom..
You showed me who I was and what I could endear.
You were strong and that made me strong.
Now your gone and my life has not been the same.
If only I could steal one more day with you. I could ask the questions that only you have the answers to and tell you one last time just how much I love you.
There is so much going on in my life that I want to share with you.
It's been five years and I can't bring myself to moran...the pain is just to much to bare.
My heart is weak and my stenght is low.
How I just wish to see you one more time. I have so much to tell you in my brokenness and you always had the right words to say.
But I will press on because you taught me that and I have faith that we will see eachother again.
We will eat another meal together and we will laugh again.
I look forward to that day.
I just miss you so much that it hurts. Just thinking of you.

Just on my mind!
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We just winterized our travel tailer. How I would just love to pack up and go some where warm for the winter, but SO has to work and so do I, but the day will come when we will be able to that...I have faith!
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tension rises
feelings strained
is there compassion
in the face of bittersweet pain?
You look on, wondering how you could change
when it's something beyond physical control.
tight chest, shallow breath, the noises ever present,
even when it's not around.
You try to focus, you've tried in vain
you'll hardly have what you can gain.
barely safe, hardly alive
the cycles never end inside.
Silence is quiet
but still the noise echoes
i can barely breathe
i cannot hide.
where is comfort
its tender embrace
Where can I find relief from this crazyness?
Memories gone from long ago,
can barely hold on to the facts I now know.
It cannot be denied
the truth is released:
you lied for my comfort
and now are deceased.
You cannot return once you've crossed that line
how did you imagine it from inside your mind?
Now all I know is I cannot go back
from the moments we carried
that time cannot turn back.
Again and again thoughts cross my mind
frustration builds. Nothing's right.
there is no peace
there is no joy
only gloomy eyes and a ragged soul.
tension tighten
something breaks
no longer able to separate
what exists and isn't.
hope snaps
fear lives
anger thrusts it's mighty chest.
Sad and tired, nothing is new
but the clouds that roll by
and the sun that strolls through.
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On my mind...I have been really been missing my dad this week!
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After taking antibiotics, there is Candida growth. Check her tongue for thrush.
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The Viking still isn’t feeling well -
I feel badly for her
nothing I tried seemed to help her

she didn’t want to eat - not even her favorite banana or oatmeal
I brought some warm croissants 🥐 and apricot jam - she’d take a nibble and say it was awful

I imagine the antibiotics are upsetting her stomach and she needs to go #2
there’s nothing comforting about hoca food
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How can I live in and take care of my friend in a assistance living facility...
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Thinking of posting answers to cognitive questions on loved one's wall.
Maybe a collage or in a frame.

Who is the president?
What city are you in?
Count from 100, subtracting 7.
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There are two kinds of people in the world, those who are spontaneous, love surprises and are comfortable just winging it and those who are not. I was given instructions to call in today to find out the time for an appointment tomorrow but the office voice mail tells me they won't be open until this afternoon. I've always been a ducks in a row kind of person and I sometimes have to remind myself not to be too rigid but seriously... I wonder if they realize the amount of anxiety this kind of crap causes.
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Gratefully, lab results came through and dr ordered bactrim late this afternoon for 7-days

sending the Viking to the ER at this point is a last resort although had her BP started rising with the fever then I'd be concerned about sepsis again and that was one nightmare I don't want to repeat
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Just one comment...Caregivers take care of yourself. I spend time with my aging sick mom every day and work part time but I also have to set time aside to read my Bible, listen to inspirational music or podcasts, and briskly walk, do aerobics or yoga every day. I couldn't keep my sanity if I didn't do the above. Yes, I'm still weary by the end of the day but I've released some of the stress.
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MsMadge,
I would call the lab myself. Even if they won't give you the results, you can start there to be sure the results are sent to a real doctor right away, or even request results be sent to the E.R.

So, your Mom needs to be seen, try the E.R. ???

What happened to the medical care system anyway? Used to treat within 1 day, then change the rx. according to the culture results.
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Madge, once when mom had a culture for a UTI results hadn't come in five days later. Finally found out it was a contaminated sample and they had to redo it. Yes, she had a UTI, I knew it. Why this takes so long, I will never understand. Thinking of you and that Viking.

Barb's idea of calling EMT is an excellent one.
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Ms. Madge, is calling EMTs or other medical transport (or just threatening to) an option here?
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