On My Mind

CW and Polarbear are right! But it is so hard because like Worried I got a rude pm last night so I had to turn off my pm again. And really, isn't Worried right if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it must be a duck!

I should have followed Polarbear off that thread (in the beginning) and never went back on it! That is my fault and I won't make that mistake again! I will remember the nice people I have met here and keep it moving! Not leaving the site just not replying to threads that some people are on because that is all I did--answer a question and h3ll had no feary and I don't even understand how Worried got rolled into it😵

All I was trying to do is answer a post then it turn into a tug-a-war and I fell into it and again that was my bad!

But in truth, I can try to avoid some people, but if they keep changing their names then I am not sure what to do if I don't know it is them on a thread!

It is just upsetting-all of it!!

I don't like people that hid behind a screen and bad mouth people just because they have nothing better to do! And yes, I know we all are behind a screen, but most of us are trying to help not hurt people!

But like Dr. Plil says, "you can't reason with crazy."

And if people don't want to be called a troll then don't act like one!!!

I didn't want to get involved in this but I'd like to say one thing.

If you see ugly things being said to you or someone else, don't respond. I sometimes think that certain people get off on being in the midst of conflict.

NO, I'm not calling anybody out on here. Just saying...........generally speaking.

For instance: If you were walking down the street and someone called you a fat, ugly b*tch would you engage with them? No, you'd walk away.

worriedinCA- I totally understand how you feel. It's only natural to be upset when someone spews ugly things at you. I would too if I read that trash. But please...

DON'T read it.
Or if you come across it, REPORT it.
Then tell yourself: "I won't give that troll the power to ruin my day. It's not worth one second of my time."
Then think of all of the other posters who are kind, understanding and supportive, and who would write you the nicest things to lift your spirit up.
You will feel better.

(((((HUGS)))))

If some of you want to continually roll around in a big pile of dog sh*t that's on you, just don't keep complaining that it smells.
The unfortunate thing is that everyone else around you can smell it too.

There are far worse names than a troll that one can be called. If you get upset over being called, or seeing someone else called, an “internet troll” well....can’t relate! An internet troll is someone who starts quarrels and postings things to intentionally upset people on the internet. So....if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, I will continue to call it a duck ;)

shell glad you saw my message :)

Let me make it clear here-this person is actively trolling and harassing someone as I post this. I just saw them trolling a certain poster on a thread she hasn’t even replied to! Similarly to how they trolled me yesterday by making a comment about me on a thread I hadn’t been on. The comment is upset and disrupt—I repeat that is what makes someone an internet troll.

I’ve had to turn my private messages off twice because this deranged person keeps sending me rude and harassing messages. I’m just one of a handful of members who have been harassed in this manner by the troll.

I won’t be made to be feel guilty or like a bad guy for calling them a troll. Not when they are telling grieving members “I can see why your mom died. She wanted to get away from you” and telling someone else they are a CU Next Tuesday who needs to have sex. Not when they are replying to OPs and commenters & saying rude and disparaging things about posters who aren’t involved in the thread. Not when they reply to MY comments and call me a troll. No one else’s is behaving in that matter and saying those kind of horrible things so I really don’t care if anyone is disappointed in those who have engaged in angry posts. Cry a river. Get over it. Be disappointed in the admins who continue to let ONE person attack and harass the members of this community.

I said what I said and I don’t regret it. If that person doesn’t want to be called a troll.....they should stop acting like one. They can’t change our behavior but they can change theirs.

I have personally been very disappointed in some members of our forum over the last couple of weeks. Maybe the spat has been going on longer than a couple of weeks and I just became so aware of it after I became a target of the in your face insults and multiple harnessing PMs. In any case I see members who posts have been helpful and comforting over the years engaging in angry and hateful posts. One member in particular seems to be posting very angry messages/replies anytime anyone disagrees and/or challenges her views although when replying to a direct call for help continues to post polite and helpful responses. Other members are responding to angry posts with anger and name calling of their own.

I wonder what is causing our member to post such angry responses to even mild disagreement. I wonder who or what bad experience she has had to be so angry at others who express a belief in God. I wonder about how much pain and/or stress she could be in to cause these behaviors. Although nothing justifies trashing our forum with abusive posts, I do wonder about her pain. She would probably not like this at all, but I do pray for her and that she soon gets some relief from whatever her problem is. I do not have to wonder about the pain she feels from the direct attack responses sent to her. I suspect some members have felt their anger justifies deliberately hurting another care giver; I do not.

In any mutually supportive forum, we cannot attack those with differing views as either "trolls" or evil and uncaring. Neither can we characterize not just people who differ with us over an issue but to anyone who watches/reads a particular news agency, has a particular political view or consider themselves religious as unworthy of polite and respectful discourse. We cannot ask/demand that someone leave the forum because we don't like their posts, even when those posts are abusive. We can ask the person to be kinder and more respectful. We can report abusive posts so maybe someday the admins will take them down and they do not continue to contribute to long threads of mutual disrespect.

AC is about care giving. We come from all walks of life with very different life experiences. Some of have lived all our lives in rural areas; some in cities both large and small; many have lives that include both experiences. Some of us are better off financially than others but it appears most of us have endured financial hardship at least during some period of our lives. We include the very religious, the spiritual, and the unbelievers as well as liberal progressives, libertarians, physical conservatives, die hard conservatives and all the possible mixtures.

We ALL CARE about CARE GIVING. Very occasionally someone who is not really concerned about care giving makes their way onto this forum, sometimes they even cause some problems for a while but that is not the norm and does not include most members and posters on this site. Most people are here to learn about care giving and to share their care giving knowledge and experience with others in a effort to "pass it forward".

Sometimes our religious or political leanings become relevant to a discussion but no one who steps up to become a care giver for another human being deserves to be labeled as a "troll". So I asking everyone to please reflect on our care giver membership and the stresses they may be experiencing any given day and consider leaving off the personal derogatory phases and characterizations. PLEASE walk around the house and count to ten and take several deep breaths before posting a flaming comment.

Smeshque I am sorry, but I had to laugh at your skunk trying to be a kitten!

I do feel harassed.

I came here looking for help and support as all of you and the only reason I have stayed is because there are nice and helpful people here like you Polarbear, Smeshque, Worried and others.

I just don't understand how someone can be so nasty and be allowed to stay on this forum!

Appalling isn't the word on how I feel!

Thank you Worried for your support and I am sorry that you got dragged into this. But I am not leaving!!!

PolarBear- Thank you.Your one of the reasons I would not leave, You all have taught me so much and have supported me in hard times. I love my aging care family. I know if I need you all that I can come running and get a hug of kind words and advice and encouragement. It is a beautiful thing here. And I stand behind you too my friend.

Plus- I ain't afraid of skunks. :)

smeshque - you're one of the nicest persons here, and I have your back. Don't you leave AgingCare site. And you should post to whatever thread you want. Report to Admin whenever you receive an inappropriate message.

The same goes for all the nice and supportive people on this site, too. Stay and support each other.

It is sad. I have my share of the messages as well. I believe that it is harassment.

If you paint a skunk pink and call it a kitten, it still smells like a skunk.

Just remembering when aging care was a nice escape from the life of caregiving. Where we unite to support, encourage and help one another. Where we shared dinners, and gardening and stories of our loved ones. Where we shared laughs, and tears.
It is really a shame to lose all that because someone would rather disrupt and cause disturbances out of selfishness and thoughtlessness and such a critical spirit.


And I am tired.

I remember my grandmother used to say "least said soonest mended".

Thanks Send, how the song is stuck in my head!LOL

My primary doctor had me take a drug DNA test and the outcome was interesting.

On the list for meds for tranquilizers it said do not take Valium. Ah ha, that explained back when I was in my 20's why this med didn't really help.

Also, for acid reflux, the names of all the popular brand name pills will not work for me. Another ah ha moment. No wonder I didn't get any relief. Now I only use Tums Smooties and they work soooo much better.

That drug DNA was one of the best tests I ever had. It also showed for me to stay away from Warfarin [blood thinner].

Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up,
And say, 'Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
I say, Doctor, doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take,
I say, Doctor, dooooctor, to relieve this belly ache?'
Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together,
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better,
Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up,
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning

On my mind
The sun and warm weather.

Twenty years ago, my cardiologist prescribed Klonopin 0.5 mg three times a day (every 8 hours) to help keep my heart rate regular and to keep my blood pressure within normal range. (I tend to have episodes of very, very low blood pressure followed by brief fainting spells).  Very effective for this problem--which is hereditary.  My paternal grandfather also had this problem with low blood pressure.

The Klonopin also helps with my long-standing anxiety and I have found that if I take the medication on a regular basis that I have LESS anxiety and rarely have an Anxiety Attack.   I have varied the dosage from 0.25mg to 1 mg depending on the stress (and blood pressure readings) that I was experiencing at a specific time in my life.  I did not have any problems when I decreased the dosage...that is my experience.  Your experience with Klonopin will be different. 

Each person reacts differently to medications and when you start a new medication, you might have to use "Trial-and-Error" to determine the Best Dosage that works for YOU. 

ONLY YOU can determine the proper time and amount of Klonopin for you and your situation.
{{{HUGS}}}

Great news, Gershun! My mom's first geripsych switched mom from Xanax to Klonopin. Gentler, better.

She also explained to mom that taking a regular amount of it (we cut the .5 in half) kept the anxiety at bay and that she would actually take less if she used it like that, rather than as a rescue.

Of course, everyone's experience with these meds is different; I just wanted to pass on that bit of knowledge. (((((Hugs)))))).

Thx all for your advice. So I went to my doc yesterday and this is what transpired.

He came in all jovial and asked how I was. I said awful. He said, but last time you were here everything was great. Uh, no...........last time I was here we talked about me withdrawing from Effexor and you prescribed Lyrica saying it acted much like Valium. Ah........no it did not. In fact it caused me to have stroke like symptoms which in turn led to a massive panic attack.

So, we discussed all things anti anxiety. I don't want to go back on an SSRI now cause I have just spent the last two months weaning myself off of the Effexor and don't want to go down that road again. At least not right now. We discussed CBD oil which I've tried and don't care for. I've tried the Ativan and it doesn't work for me. So he prescribed Clonazepam. I researched it online when I got home. I guess its also called Klonopin. Yes, I know it's addictive. He gave me 0.5 mg. I'm not planning on taking it except when my stress levels get to a feverish pitch. I truly don't want to be a pill junkie. I have a very non addictive personality so I don't foresee a problem. We'll see. I did take one last night and actually had a decent sleep for a change.

Now that you all know my pill diary I would like to say, please don't fight. We are all only human. Lets be supportive of one another. We can agree to disagree but lets not name call. We are all in this world just trying to get by. Let's all break into a rousing rendition of "We are the World" now. LOL

I love you guys. Thx for the support.

Beatty many happy returns to your aunt! How lovely!

I hope she has a wonderful "relaxing" time too :)

Diazepam can cause anxiety in some people and it if taken to long it can cause anxiety this is called "adverse effect." Clonazepam is stronger than Xanax and more people get addicted to Clonazepam. Xanax is spelled with a X not a Z.

It doesn't even matter because it is between Gershun and her Dr! And really all I care about is Gershun gets what she needs!

And as always I tell people they should talk to their Dr.

Gershun, I just read back to your situation regarding your brother. I am so sorry you are both going through this. My sister also has Sz & this condition is just NOT FAIR. I feel for you & send my best thoughts your way.

I will be enjoying a 'muscle relaxant' called champagne, he he, at my Aunt's 80th birthday tomorrow!

Gershun does your doctor know that you stopped taking your SSRI? I hope you went about it carefully, did you?

Sending you a p.m.

Do I dare to hope that retirement accounts will continue to grow so I can retire before 65?

Thanks to all who wished me well for my nervous jitters just prior to visiting Mom. Your good wishes and positive vibes worked! The visit went reasonably well and better than usual. I wonder if my prolonged absence made Mom's heart grow fonder? Is that possible for someone with dementia? No matter. I feel good.

A big thanks!!!

FF,

We all thought chocolate was a cure all! LOL:)

Your stress tremors can be a side effect from the Xanax. It is not very common but it does happen with Xanax & other Benzodiazepines. Just a little information for you!

Gershun,
Don't ever take Clonazepam or Diazepam. Clonazepam is highly addictive and diazepam can make you feel more anxiety and it should help with sleep, but in time most pts will become dependant on it to sleep.

Most pts do will with Ativan however, Ativan has a 10 to 20 hr half-life which makes it nice because you won't need to take it everyday. But it doesn't help with sleep or depression. Xanax is ok, but can also be addictive. However, you can take 2mg, which you can cut into halves giving you 1mg. Xanax half life is 4 to 5 hrs for 2mg. Again Xanax can be addictive, but if you only take it once in awhile it can be safe. All these drugs are in the Benzodiazepines family! Which in itself can cause a pt to become depress!

However, if you need an anti-depression med SSRI is one of the better ones. Why do you want to get off SSRI if you don't mind me asking?!

Lexapo helps with depression and can help with anxiety. Also some pts do will on Prozac this being one of the oldest drug on the market!

I just hope you and your Dr has found something that works for you.

Like always please talk to your physician what is best for you!

Hugs!!

Gershun, I am on the lowest dosage of Xanax and it has been helpful to a point. I could kick myself for saying "no" years ago when I was first helping out my parents, and going on seven years and crashing/burning twice, I finally gave in to meds. The doctor said exercise is extremely helpful, but who had time for THAT?

I developed tremors from all the stress. Even though my folks had passed on two years ago, the stress/tremors remain :(

Talk therapy helped somewhat, just glad I found a therapist who had been there, done that with her own elderly parents, and who would also take Medicare.

One thing I noticed, I need to watch how much chocolate I eat during the day. It can cause me to stress out if I over do it. And here I thought chocolate was the cure all :)

Enjoying a two week reprieve from my DH whose son in Cincinnati bought him a couple plane tickets to and from both with layovers in other cities, because why pay attention to the fact that he has dementia (probably stage 4 approaching 5 Alzheimer's), stage 4 cancer and heart disease, don't forget the bipolar and histrionics, and any day wandering could become a real issue. Why pay attention to the fact that he cannot navigate the computer task of buying his own ticket anymore and gives you our credit card information! His kids are just like him; rose-colored glasses believing what they want rather than what is.  ("He's just kinda quirky.") Anyway, my 94 year old father and I have enjoyed the peace in the house. Wow!!! We went out to eat and hear music Father's Day with some of my friends who were stunned at Dad's sharpness; pulls out his iphone X and shows them the books he wrote they can buy online, how he watches college baseball, softball, basketball, football on his phone, or ipad or imac.  (Can't do that with DH.) We can move through the house without being followed or stared down or asked what our current or future business is ..... he returns Monday, but let me not think about that. Enjoying the peace, and the wine.