Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
Today I saw someone who was/is very dear to me. We grew up together and did so much with each other. In fact, part of who I am is because of this person. However, as I was happy to say, "hello" they just blew me off! Hurt doesn't even explain how I feel.
About 2 yrs ago this person moved back and we hadn't seen eachother in years...so much time went by...but there we were. It was bitter sweet for them as myself! But today something was different and I do not know what it was...
Now, I fear that I might have did or said something that I did not mean too...did I offend this person? What did I do? Unfortunately, there has been times when I have said or did something and hurt someone's feelings without knowing it...this is part of myself I don't like, but I have been working on it! I am a work in progress!!
As I write this I can feel the tears building...oh...there goes my tears!!
I often have heard people say, "time changes nothing," but I have to disagree because time has change everything!
Maybe I am just emotional because my dad's death anniversary and his birthday is coming up! This is always a hard time for me. God I miss my dad and I miss my friend!
It has been along couple of days:(
To me, again my opinion and experience, a short term anti-anxiety med is not a good solution as it does not deal with the underlying problem,
If I were you I would go back on the antidepressant for as long as you need it.
Big hugs. Sounds like you need lots if those.
Recently having stopped taking the SSRI I was on hasn't helped but I truly don't want to start taking another. All this emotion I've been feeling surrounding my brother and stuff I didn't deal with with my mom when she died is flooding back into my mind and I am having a really hard time dealing generally right now.
Any suggestions on what I could ask the doc to prescribe me short term?
I am sorry to hear about your brother. I will put you and your brother in my prayers.
Hugs!!
Where there's life there's hope, and where there's PEG feeding and skilled nursing and occupational therapists there is hope that your brother could, over time, actually end up in a better physical and mental condition than he's experienced for many years.
I don't mean to minimise how horrible this is while it lasts, but keep your chin up.
Plus, he's got you. That's not nothing. Hugs.
This diagnosis is devastating. All he has done the last three weeks is plead for food. He has tried swallowing water, mouth wash etc. which went straight to his lungs. He can't seem to grasp the danger he is putting himself in every time he tries to eat or drink anything. If the swallowing thing is permanent they would need to put him in a facility where he would need to be restrained so as not to aspirate when he tries to feed himself. He has always been a restless soul and I can't foresee him cooperating in that type of environment so what the future holds for him is bleak either way I look at it.
For those of you who do call yourself believers please send up some prayers for him.
Rough sleeping and homelessness have been a serious and intractable problem to my certain knowledge since the 80s but I agree that the organised camps have emerged as a new phase in it. Well - I say new. Nothing is ever really new, it's just that the locations (and the main causes) shift and then we notice.
My daughter lives in a culturally progressive city on the South Coast - it's run by Greens* (politically speaking, I mean) and prides itself on its civic inclusiveness. Recently there has been unrest because the drug addicts, alcoholics (not sure that's a real distinction, actually), former prisoners and neglected mentally ill people (ditto) have set up camp outside Waitrose, causing unheard-of inconvenience to exactly that section of the consumer society which finds it hardest to step over them. Clever placement!
Anyone got any suggestions about what to do? I'm sure Brighton & Hove Council would be very grateful.
* Correction: it is not run by Greens at the moment. The Labour party is in control of a minority administration - 20 Labour councillors, 19 Greens, 15 others.
you'll get your head bit off by the real San Franciscoans
an old tale from the Irish side of the family that had roots there was that after a wake all the men took the deceased on a cable car for his last ride 😆
San Francisco is terrible, I don’t deny it. We are about 2 hours south of the city & spent a few days there for our 10 year wedding anniversary in 2017. We hadn’t been there in 5-6 years and I was appalled at what I saw. Homeless people all over union square, relieving themselves in public. Pee every where. The smell. My god the smell. Human urine and weed mixed together is quite unpleasant.
i fear the entire state will become just like SF and my city now that Newsome is in charge. He really did SF no favors.
I haven't heard other states having homeless problems but I guess any big cities probably do. New York comes to mind.
I'm okay but feeling edgy. I've trimmed down my visits to the absolute bare minimum to preserve health and sanity. Others have stepped up their help. It's been 2 months since my last visit, the longest since I began my remote care-giving journey. I've discovered the further apart the visits are, the harder it's become to actually go. It's been lovely to have focused on my own needs, my own health for the past 8 weeks. But even I, Ms. Low Contact, has to stir herself now and again to take Mom to a doctor appt.
Asking all well-wishers to send good vibes in my direction, reminding me to hold my tongue, to be the Picture of Patience, to remember the brain is broken. To be kind. Assume and maintain Grey Rock. To remember I cannot change Mom; I can only change myself. All the advice I've dispensed here to those in similar circumstances. My actual face-to-face visit will encompass 4 or 5 hours, max. Just about all I can manage. That is, unless Mom's doctor's appointment requires an extended stay for ...... whatever.
Thanks to all of you. What would I do without you? You have been my strength when my bucket was empty. Keep it coming!
Rice a Roni was invented by the second generation of an Italian American pasta company that was based in San Francisco. It was bought by Quaker Oats in 1986 and Pepsico bought Quaker in 2001.
If I were in charge of their marketing, I would drop the name SF in their ads. If you follow the news, you'll know SF is now the home of homeless people and human waste littered everywhere on the streets.
Why is it SF treat? According to google, it was invented in Northwestern US.
"group dynamics foster the phenomenon of scapegoating. there will always be another 'troll' if there is a scapegoating mentality. let's try to not foster one, and let's not be so quick to label people as 'trolls' simply because our views are different from theirs"
much more comforting if the same member was not also making postings like
"yes, evil is a matter of heart. However, the NRA has people convinced that gun control is a terrible thing. Why is it a terrible thing? How many more innocent men, women, and yes, children have to massacred before we adopt sensible gun control laws. And if it makes you feel any better, then yes by all means let's ban spoons and forks because a mass murder can take out as many innocent victims just as quickly with a spoon and fork as he/she could with a gun. right? I know this post will get no likes but I'm not here to be liked, if I wanted to be liked I'd be talking about the virtues of Lou Dobbs, Fox news, and the local church picnic next Sunday."
In any mutually supportive forum, we cannot attack those with differing views as either "trolls" or evil and uncaring. Neither can we go on to add that characterization not just to people who differ with us over an issue but to anyone who watches/reads a particular news agency or likes church picnics and maybe (by implication) attends church and consider themselves religious.
AC is about care giving. We come from all walks of life with very different life experiences. Some of have lived all our lives in rural areas; some in cities both large and small; many have lives that include both experiences. Some of us are better off financially than others but it appears most of us have endured financial hardship at least during some period of our lives. We include the very religious, the spiritual, and the unbelievers as well as liberal progressives, libertarians, physical conservatives, die hard conservatives and all the possible mixtures.
We ALL CARE about CARE GIVING. Very occasionally someone who is not really concerned about care giving makes their way onto this forum, sometimes they even cause some problems for a while but that is not the norm and does not include most members and posters on this site. Most people are here to learn about care giving and to share their care giving knowledge and experience with others in a effort to "pass it forward".
Sometimes our religious or politic leanings become relevant to a discussion but no one who steps up to become a care giver for another human being deserves to be labeled as "evil" or uncaring. So I asking everyone to please reflect on our care giver membership, particularly when posting about issues that passionately concern you, and consider leaving off the personal derogatory phases and characterizations.
I also get far more sensible and open-minded answers.
Sometimes responses to OPs are hilariously wide of the mark (it's hilarious if you've got that sort of sense of humour, anyway), sometimes they tell home truths a bit too bluntly, and sometimes when they're badly misjudged it's because the OP has neglected to mention some vital piece of information, such as that they're paraplegic or live in Baghdad.
I don't think I've ever called anyone a troll, though I have reported suspected imposters, sales reps, agitators and the occasional - oh Good Lord! - sexual deviant to the moderators. I have also received my fair share of offensive private messages, but the Delete button takes care of those so easily.
I always regret it when members fall out among themselves, but I regret it even more if it's putting people off joining in the discussions.
We try our best, well, at least two of us do anyway
My son is here for the week, and yesterday helped with Aunt Rose's ashes atop Mt. Washington. We're enjoying his company, getting rest (he's cooking and cleaning) and slowly catching up on a few things.
On my mind? There IS life after Caregiving!
Donald Pillai”