Follow
Share
Read More
Thanks much for all of your support!

My DH has a hx of uretal problems; when he was in his late teens, docs discovered that he had a stricture in his ureter; his mom was told by one doc that one kidney would simply die, but she found someone would cut out the blockage and re-attach the ends. Worked for a long time. He had surgery to remove some "gravel" a few years back and a filtering stent put in. That urologist is only doing oncology now, but I was able to find an Endourologist (those are the folks with the itsy bitsy cameras) who can see what's going on.

Fortunately, my DH is pretty cooperative about medical stuff- he gets that I know more about this stuff than he does.
(5)
Report

Barb - sometimes it seems as though your DH and my BIL are weirdly connected, the issues he's been having are pee and kidney related as well. Of course the difference is that my BIL is argumentative and won't do what the doctors tell him (all you have to do is drink more you dumb a$$).
(1)
Report

Barb--Not to alarm you and your hubby, but peeing blood can be a symptom of bladder cancer. I understand your husband is having a CT scan of kidneys and pelvis, which I would assume includes the bladder. Definitive diagnosis if anything suspicious is spotted in the bladder would be by cystoscopy. Bladder cancer is very treatable and has a very high survival rate depending on the type and whether it is still localized in the bladder. Treatment is almost aIways done cystoscopocally so is non-invasive. I know because I've been through it and am basically cured with no recurrence in over 10 years.
(1)
Report

Oh. Barb

Hope everything will be okay with your husband. My husband gets kidney stones. My oldest daughter gets them too. They are painful. Sometimes they do require going to the hospital.
(1)
Report

So, DH started peeing blood the other day. Doc put him on Cipro; blood work came back with no elevated white count. Urine specimen is still in progress but so far no infection seen.

He's having a CAT scan of his kidneys and pelvis tomorrow to see if there's a stone (he's had uretal stones and 'gravel' in the past, so his PCP thinks that's what this is.)

This site is so great for venting!
(4)
Report

I was just watching a video on vascular dementia, it covered the the different types, common causes, and the fact that we aren't treating people early enough. I think maybe I'm going to start taking fish oil capsules again.
(1)
Report

A sweet video of crying dads (happy tears). Guaranteed to make you cry (in a good way).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=39XePR7R6F4
(0)
Report

Great you’re OK Send!!
(1)
Report

Send: Okay. Good. You're welcome.
(0)
Report

Well, I am perfectly happy using some of the old words to describe what the News media has done to mix videos from many areas to make it appear so much worse in our area. We are not Palm Springs, not in San Bernardino, and not a lot of things.
My sympathy goes out to anyone affected by the storm.
It does not hurt to carefully be prepared for disasters, but mediate that, don't empty the stores and hoard, and don't spend too much preparing. imo.

The word I am thinking of for the news outlets is B.S.

I would like to issue a red flag alert to people in general with regards to impending disasters. Whenever you hear "First time ever!", "Hasn't happened in 80+ years", "Worst ever!", your B.S. barometer should be on. Hopefully you have kept the batteries charged all these many years. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
(4)
Report

I'm not surprised Send, seems like we have to come up with new a name for everything.
(2)
Report

Social media is calling the storm in SoCal a "hurriquake".
(3)
Report

Happy to hear that the storm is over, Send!
(1)
Report

Wow Send, glad to hear you didn’t have damage.
(3)
Report

Good Morning! The sun is out.
The storm (Hilary)has left our area.

Our experience was heavy prolonged rain, very little wind. No damage.

Thank you to the very special people who reached out to me! 💖
(4)
Report

Llama,
Okay now. Thanks.
(2)
Report

Send: Are you okay? Prayers for all those in Hillary's path.
(2)
Report

Oh man, like SoCal doesn't have enough going on right now 😰
(4)
Report

Strange Activity, many aftershocks. I am calm.

EQ
2.7
6 km E of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:23:04 (UTC)
0.8 km

3.9
6 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:18:16 (UTC)
10.8 km

2.5
6 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:16:12 (UTC)
0.7 km

2.6
6 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:15:35 (UTC)
4.0 km
1.7

5 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:13:42 (UTC)
0.7 km

3.7
8 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:08:52 (UTC)
9.8 km

1.6
22 km S of Pine Mountain Club, CA
2023-08-20 22:08:49 (UTC)
5.8 km

1.4
5 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:07:13 (UTC)
2.0 km

2.5
6 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:05:01 (UTC)
4.5 km

1.7
5 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:04:46 (UTC)
1.8 km

1.6
5 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:04:15 (UTC)
2.8 km

1.8
6 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:02:27 (UTC)
1.9 km

2.1
5 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 22:01:30 (UTC)
4.3 km

2.0
7 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:57:11 (UTC)
1.8 km

3.2
7 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:55:42 (UTC)
4.1 km

1.8
6 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:53:51 (UTC)
0.9 km

1.9
5 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:53:05 (UTC)
0.8 km

1.7
4 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:52:44 (UTC)
0.8 km

1.7
4 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:52:31 (UTC)
0.9 km

1.9
7 km E of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:51:45 (UTC)
0.9 km

2.3
7 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:49:57 (UTC)
14.7 km

3.3
6 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:47:33 (UTC)
9.2 km

2.1
4 km E of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:47:29 (UTC)
1.1 km

3.2
3 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:46:45 (UTC)
0.0 km

3.6
6 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:45:26 (UTC)
1.6 km

3.1
4 km ESE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:43:06 (UTC)
1.2 km

5.0
7 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:41:01 (UTC)
14.6 km
1.7
(3)
Report

Earthquake in Southern California
5.0
7 km SE of Ojai, CA
2023-08-20 21:41:01 (UTC)
14.6 km

I felt it.

🙄😲😜😵😕🤪
(2)
Report

Lady,

((((Hug))))

“My brothers do little to nothing and are totally fine with letting me carry this burden.”

I want to beat up your brothers.

“it's like experiencing my abusive childhood all over again”

ME TOO.
Empathy ((((hug))))

“I don't think this will end until she dies.”

I agree. Unless one totally walks away…calls APS…lets the State take over…

Even if your mom goes to a facility, you’ll probably help with problems.

“Maybe then I will find some peace.”

Please find a way to get your freedom already now. Not one minute more of abuse. Easier said than done, because abusers never stop, and kind people (you) keep wanting to help.

I’ve read lots of experiences from abused daughters who helped their moms. Indeed, they only got freedom/peace after the mom died. Finally free from the oppression, for the first time since they were born. But by then, they’re already a lot older :(.
(0)
Report

I can relate! I feel like a prisoner in my own home caring for 94 yo mother. When she was my age, she was out galivanting across the country with her new husband. Me, stuck here caring for her and now resenting her for it. We never really got along when I was growing up, but now in the life game of tag, "I'm IT" regarding her care. My brothers do little to nothing and are totally fine with letting me carry this burden. There isn't Asst Living our area that she can afford and of course she has a small savings account which precludes her from Medicaid benefits. I pay a girl to come in a couple of days a week to give me some mental relief which means I have to keep working in order to pay for that so basically, I'm working for mom and not for me. Hindsight being 20/20, should have never agreed to let her come live with me but I can't put that genie back in the bottle. I simply was too naive to understand what I was getting into, coupled with the guilt of not helping her in her late stage of life. The mental torture is agonizing; it's like experiencing my abusive childhood all over again; and all the therapy in the world isn't helping me. I hate to say it, but I don't think this will end until she dies. Maybe then I will find some peace.
(1)
Report

sounhappy,

You’re welcome.

I have been in your shoes! I took care of my parents for a very long time.

Caregiving is the toughest job ever!
(1)
Report

THANK YOU 🙂
(0)
Report

sounhappy,

I hope you get your wish soon.
(1)
Report

I want to get out of caregiving. I want to be me again. I want my life back. I want my life to be all mine again.
(1)
Report

Send,

Enjoy your bear claws! 😊
(2)
Report

Yum.
(1)
Report

Big fail. The power went out and my grocery delivery got cancelled.
My days of last minute living is coming to an end.
Re-ordered early this morning. The same delivery guy is shopping for us.
Bear-claws are coming soon!

Anyone else find that when caregiving elders, they must have everything now?
That's not me, yet!

A neighbor's T.V. doesn't work (for her), so she goes running to her neighbor to fix it, now, as if it is an emergency. As if a 70+ y.o. is on-duty T.V. repair for a 90+ y.o. neighbor. The word is: Well, she's moving soon. Not a solution imo.
Worried for both neighbors.
(4)
Report

cw,

The reason why I said that eating out might be just as cheap as cooking at home is because I can never finish eating the large restaurant portions of food.

I always ask for a box for the leftovers. Especially pasta dishes. I can get two or three meals from one restaurant sized portion. Chinese food is the same way. Loads of leftovers!

I split sushi rolls with friends. I never eat leftover sushi 🍣. That’s gross 🤮. Sushi has to be eaten fresh!
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter