Two years ago my mother, while in sound health and mind, made me, her son, power of attorney. At this time, her relationship with my sister was strained and since my sister is an RN, she was made my mother's MPOA. Though I am my mother's POA, I live about 900 miles away. When these documents were initiated, we were the same distance apart. My mom's health and awareness are now failing and my sister is her primary caregiver. My mom stayed with my sister previously when she was in good health and it was a disaster. My mom had to move to independent living. Now my sister is providing excellent care for my mom, but she is trying to take control of her finances, as well. She is going out of her way to prevent me from fulfilling my duties as mom's POA and attempting to set up other accounts by dragging my mom to different banks and establishing new accounts and transferring funds from where I have established POA. Now she has taken my mother to her attorney to revoke my POA and establish a POA under the pretense of needing her POA closer to mom. The attorney won't allow her to revoke my POA, but suggested that a trust be established with a neutral party as trustee. Her attorney suggested a bank as trustee, but there are fees involved and when my mom was in good health and before making me her POA, she wanted no part of a trust. I feel that my mom is being manipulated and there is no need for any changes. What do I need to do to best provide my mom her wishes?
Should you and sis decide to battle in court over Guardianship, the outcome will be the same. When family disagrees, the Judge appoints a neutral Guardian. Avoid spending thousands in legal fees; do the Trust.
On the other hand the issue of competency may arise. If your mom is still alert/oriented and has not been deemed incompetant she can make banking decisions without consulting anyone else. If she goes to a bank and opens accounts with your sister you may not have any recourse but I would not stop there. It sounds as though your sister is taking advantage of the situation. Do talk to an attorney that is specific in this area. Without going the trust route you may get the appropriate advice on how to handle this and what your rights are as far as getting the accounts reversed.
I think your sister is setting up other accounts to have some sort of control. And she deserves some control since SHE IS DOING ALL THE HARD WORK. In this case, your mom's happiness and care is the top priority. Do you have proof that she is being mistreated by sis? When you talk/visit your mom, do you see signs of neglect? Does your mom whisper to you....."Get me away from here!"
You and your sister need to sit down together with just the two of you or with a mediator to work out feelings, jobs, expectations, etc. As the months or years pass, anything that is sort of wrong now, will only get much, much worse as time goes by!
What about thanking your sister for all she has done, every time you talk to her? After that, you might feel loving enough to reach a good mutual decision that is best for everyone.
And realistically, for whatever reason, stress, too much on your mind and plate, you haven't been able to handle it in the past, so get some help now before the situation gets any worse. There's no shame in getting help for a complicated tax situation.
You need a tax attorney, or someone like an Enrolled Agent who can represent you with the IRS.
What you can do is gather all the information and supporting data on both your tax situations; an attorney will need it.
Tax attorneys can negotiate with the IRS to work out payment plans for back taxes. This might be the best that can be done in the situation.
And, BTW, you'd have to provide a LOT of information for anyone to be able to help you with the specifics, and even then, we wouldn't be privy to perhaps all of the relevant information. So a pro in your area is the best choice.
One attorney I worked for had formerly worked for the IRS, and then became an Enrolled Agent. I was shocked to realize that massive (5 figure) IRS obligations could be reduced and settled for significantly less.
I know the feeling of being uncomfortable asking for help. I suspect there are many here who faced that dilemma when they themselves needed help and had to reset their mental image of themselves from a helper to an asker. I do think it's very challenging, but try to think of it as realizing that we're at a junction at which help from others is mandatory in order for us to keep on helping ourselves and our family.
I wish you luck; let us know how this works out for you.