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This one went sideways fast. Do any of your LOs constantly put down people they do business with or just about everyone in a demeaning way. Mom just called a seamstress a 'hussy' because she had gone up on prices and I told my Mom forget I asked. She literally flew off the couch and stomped into her bedroom. I am still counting down the days but meanwhile she is going to pi** the wrong person off one of these days and there won't be a way for me to get her out of it. Living with me or not. Her self centeredness is out of control. She believes most everyone should cater to her and if it isn't something she likes she takes it personally. To be honest she hasn't dealt with this lady in a long time and the last time was not even at her place of business so I think Mom went in there with a chip on her shoulder. I know this isn't my problem. I just can't get on board with it. My experience working with the public in retail just reminds me how ugly people can be. And I have heard how she speaks to people not very nice and also expecting them to know her-and 'read her mind' I think. Or she expecting me to take her to do these errands and speak for her only to rip me later on in the day.

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It’s true. I think they complain because it makes them feel important or gives them a sense of control.

They have loss control in many areas in their lives so it’s possible that this is their last ditch effort at being able to make some decisions.

Just a theory that I have. I could be wrong.

My mom always says, “They should know better!” Would go through me and I would respond with, “Mom, people screw up sometimes. We all do!”
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My Mom was always negative, paranoid and a drama queen as well. She ran our family and pretty much made all the decisions. As she got older she lost most of her filters. She didn’t hesitate to tell anyone, from family to store personnel, exactly what she thought and it was mostly negative. When she had dementia, it was worse, exacerbated by her delusions. Sometimes, she’d get “silly” as well and when we went to a store,she’d spend 15 minutes spewing her life history to a store clerk who tried to be polite, but when there was a line of people behind her, I’d try very hard to shut her up and get her out.

When she was nasty to me or to others when I was there, I learned to consider the source and grow a thick skin. More than once, I apologized to people in front of her, which she didn’t like but I didn’t care. After she passed and I had time to think about things she’d told me, I realized she’d been unhappy most of her life. She had a broken engagement when she was around 20 and she never recovered from it. She apparently wanted much more from life than she’d ever gotten. It helped me understand her behavior a little better.
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@Joy..........what irks the hell out of me about our mothers who 'wanted much more from life' than they’d ever gotten is how it's affected US! Nobody's life is perfect. What makes some women feel like they were entitled to be queens or that they deserved finery, riches & to have constant unbridled passion lavished upon them by their husbands? Or constant praise & attention shown to them by friends, acquaintances, sales people, strangers, etc?????

THIS...........this is what RBuser is talking about, I think, and what my main complaint is about my own mother: the entitlement factor!! They were Entitled to Perfection But Settled For Ordinary. Boo hoo.

Why didn't they DO something to change their circumstances so EVERYONE in the life didn't have to suffer their wrath, I wonder?

Things that make you go Hmmmm?

I've always taught my children to be grateful for what they have. And if they're unhappy, to do whatever it takes to CHANGE their circumstances. And to view their glass as half full rather than half empty. To enjoy life and to allow others to enjoy THEIR lives, too.

RBuser............my mother has something to complain about, or someone to complain about, 24/7. There isn't ONE thing, ONE event, ONE person, ONE place that she doesn't have SOMETHING crappy to say about. Right?

The only antidote for this chronic problem is Limited Contact With the Offender.
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My grandmother would treat shop keepers rudely and it always embarrassed me. Otherwise she was a sweet person. I finally saw that it was the only way she could feel "above" other people. She was abused by my grandfather and she had to work at a job when other women at that time usually did not work outside of their homes. I guess she was coping with her circumstances. Not in a good way, but the only way she knew to make herself feel in control. I still feel bad for all the retail workers she snapped at, but also feel bad that she had no other outlet for frustration about her life.
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There is somewhat of a language barrier. But even so, she has to keep 'shite going no matter what. I suggested we take the pants somewhere else to get hemmed but she wants to keep going back there. I wish she would leave the lady alone.
She has always been nice to me when I pick up things, but now I'm embarrassed to go back in there. After this most recent incident-she won't need to do this for a while. The pants are for my brother so after this go around it will be awhile before we need any alterations for anything. (I think I just repeated myself )
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