Just standing back and enjoying a funny moment.
Not a rant, or a vent, just an observation on growing older and watching mother and her friends navigate life.... I went to Mother's yesterday to have her help me with a particularly difficult crochet stitch on a baby blanket. Took only a few minutes..she was in a bit of a dither as she was going to lunch with some "pool friends". They came and parked in the driveway and I walked her out and got her down the 2 stairs. There was one lady (all these gals are in their late 80's) who grabbed mother's walker and was kind of dragging her..I said "Oh, I have her, go ahead and get in the car" She wouldn't let go...the woman at the wheel yells at me "Who ARE you? You can't come with us! There's no room for the walkers and one extra person!" I said "I'm not coming with you, just helping Mother." (Who is still being hauled down the driveway) The walker helper looks at me and said "Who ARE you? You can't come with us!" I said, again, I'm R's daughter. I'm not coming with you, I'm going to help her into the car." Driver again states that she cannot possibly fit me in the car. The suddenly the trunk pops open and she says "You can put her walker back there, not on the seat and maybe we can make room for you". Again, "No, thank you, I am NOT coming with you. I am just helping Mother". So I get mother to the car and have to lift her legs to get her settled. Walker-hanger lady once more reiterates that I can't come. I agree and fold up mother's walker, keep the lady from slamming the door on mom's leg as she is struggling to get seated...ask them all to settle down, I GOT this...and driver informs me that I can now put the walker wherever I want. (Sigh) I put it on top of the other 2 in the car already. Then the final words, "Slam the trunk, wouldja? And you aren't coming, right?" OMG. This all took about 15 minutes. I got in my car and laughed about this all day. Part of the "slowness" process is that mother can't walk and talk at the same time, so she was trying to talk to walker-lady and me and would stand still. We only traversed 30 ft at the most, but it was like marching with Hannibal over the alps. Sometimes, I forget to just lean back into the moment and laugh.
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Oy! But funny.
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
Enjoyed your stories!
But why aren't you going? Lol.
MidKid, your description of getting in the car with walkers and people hits home (add an oxygen concentrator for extra complications).
But, you gotta love 'em for still getting out and around!
DW wanted to go to a casino for some fun on the machines.
I carried her money and players card. I put both into the machine and set it up for her. But the button to repeat the bet was not lighted so DW pushes the first button that was lighted, which was "max bet". This increased her bet from 40 cents a spin to $2.00 a spin.
I was instructing her on which button to push and she resisted continually and became insistant on pushing the lighted button. I was speaking in a normal and strern voice.
Two men behind us quit their playing and started to concentrate on us.
One of them then intruded into our conversation and tried to tell me how to handle the situation. When I tried to inform him as to what was happening , he started telling me to shut the F--- up and repeated this the whole while I was talking.
Finally after perhaps a minute or so, I turned back to DW and to continue with her. She had turned around to look at him. He then tried to talk to her and she looked at him and said 'shut the F--- up.
The look on his face was pure shock. But he did stop talking and a few seconds later they got up and left.
She may have FTD with asphasia but, don't mess with mother bear(or protective wife). She turned around and preceded to play away, correctly.
I got a good laugh after we returned home.
I did entertain for the briefest of seconds, showing up at the restaurant where they were heading and walking past the table with a gasp! Oh my! I wasn't invited??? But, the dementia factor might have made it all too surreal for them.
And, thank goodness nobody was hauling oxygen around. I just wondered who was at the other end to get these ladies out of the car.
I need to start a whole new thread here, if there isn't one already. Helping the elderly with computers/internet. OY VEY!
The stories I could tell. Used to work in Internet Support for a major national insurance company. Elderly folks calling in .. needing support .. to be able to access the site to look at their insurance, or print out an ID card, or pay their bill. OMG!!!!!!
These are folks that have, obviously, for decades, sent in their payments via snail mail. They probably should continue to do so.
Dorker, I gotta take polite issue with your position on seniors calling in for computer support. For someone younger, some of their questions probably seem so basic. But I give them credit for trying.
And they've been through things far more challenging than we have. Remember some of them grew up in homes w/o central heating, lived through the Depression, served in WWII.
They were adaptive, learned how to make do as well as taught themselves useful skills.
That kind of history is deserving of a compliment and respect.
I know you didn't mean to make fun of them, but I just wanted to share my opinion on how resourceful and strong they can be.
And going off topic, I also want to share something I probably have written before. When my mother was in rehab, either my sister or I often visited at dinner time and sat with Mom and the regulars at her table. One evening we got on the subject of the USSR, the Tsar, the massacre of his family, and of the Revolution.
One of the women became very wistful, with that almost thousand yard stare in her eyes, and commented that "the Tsar wasn't so bad when you think about it." This Jewish woman had lived through the Bolshevik Revolution, somehow or another escaped and emigrated to America.
I sat in silence for quite some time, contemplating the horror of what she must had to endure, the strength of character it took, and the challenge of leaving her country and emigrating over to the US. I felt sobered by that one sentence she spoke.
And she wasn't the only survivor; there was another woman rehabbing there who had been in a concentration camp.
So the elderly can be amusing, but they can also be insightful, and face challenges far more than logging onto a website.
In closing, I mean you no criticism and just wanted to make and share a few points on the elderly and their ability to adapt to catastrophic, life changing events, a quality I value more than being computer savvy.
The best of the elderly that I dealt with in that capacity were those that were aware the whole thing is more than they want to deal with, but still trying. Good for them, indeed!
She called me one day (many years ago) and said "I saw a mouse in the yard today!" Me: "Outside? Yep, that's where they live". Her: "It looked like it wanted to come in the house" Me: "What made you think that?" Her: "It looked so cold and sad, and I know it was thinking how much nicer it would be in my house" Me: "Mom, mice don't think and process stuff the way we do, I doubt the fact he saw your house and thought much of anything of it". Her "Well, it may not be much to HIM, but I paid good money for it!" Me: "OK, then, what's the problem?" Her: "I want to sprinkle D-Con around the perimeter of my house to ward off mice". Me: (when I had control over my laughing) "Mom, D'Con actually ATTRACTS mice, it doesn't REPEL them. You are going to have dozens of dead and dying mice all over. Please don't do this". Her: "I thought it was like Kryptonite and Superman".
OMG. She didn't believe me and went on to call my SIL and my hubby. Just added to the hilarity.
The mouse story, and the Kryptonite reference are really cute.