I am watching what my boss is going through right now, his wife passed on a few weeks ago [14 yrs Alzheimer's] and he had to sell his beautiful home and find an apartment/condo rental to move into.... it has been a mad scramble because he sold his home within a week.
If only he would have started downsizing last year knowing that this would eventually happen. He's overwhelmed and said he's on a verge of a nervous breakdown. Way too much paper work to sort through on such a tight squeeze, so those boxes will find their way to his business office.
Everything that was once part of his life most will need to be sold or donated or tossed out. To wipe that much history out in just a few weeks is too much. If done slowly it is easier to deal with.
Glad I started shredding my own paperwork at my house. Like why on earth do I need Federal income tax forms going back 30 years? Keep 7 years and let the rest go. I have old stamp books and old coin books that I will send to my sig other's two grandchildren for them to take up a new hobby.
old ike the trike was handed over without a tussle . b*tch was crazy but she wasnt suicidal .
Also gave away half my book collection. Did keep books from the 1920's and 1930's... an old etiquette book (c)1929 is fun to review, how society has changed.
We took some of my MILs items, but at 60, we need nothing. There would be no way to transport it, if we did.
We do what we can when we can. Sure, some of us really need to change some habits and plan ahead a little better. But life is what it is and all the "If onlys" in the world will not change it.
Maybe your boss could have dealt with it a little better if he'd had a year to do it gradually. Or maybe having to do it under a deadline is really the least painful way. Who knows? Spending the final year of your caregiving journey, the final year of your marriage, sorting through material things may or may not have been the best use of his time.
Just sayin' ...
I saw a beloved aunt start this process in (I think) her 80s. Each time I visited her house appeared less full. One time the dining room table was covered with oilcloth because the lace tablecloth that had been on it for years had been given to her daughter. Next the upstairs hallway was minus a book case. The books went to the local library and the case went to the only son who wanted it. And on and on. She was a great role model. But I'm not in my 80s yet. :)
Captian, my poor kids will have at least 52 spoons to deal with -- having a large family I have a lot of silverware. I won't care if they throw them in a dumpster or someone wants them for family parties. I've gotten (and still am getting) my use out of them. (I really dislike plastic forks and knives for anything but a picnic.)
I'm not ready to start downsizing to save my children trouble when I'm gone. (If I go suddenly, they can work off their grief sorting through my stuff.) But I really do need to declutter, especially the paperwork, for my own mental health.
For everything there is a season. Don't rush it -- but just don't fail to recognize your own downsizing season.
He would have wished his 6 children and the grand-children would have wanted some of the furniture, but at their ages they already have furnished homes. It's not like years ago when a newly married couple would be thrilled to get the grandparent's furniture :)