I mean when both mental and physical integrity are under the most control. In my experience I see 62 to 67 being the "peak age" but it it then falls rather quickly, as by 75 there is significant weakness.
I see 40 to 55 being the "best" years in that health is generally at the most robust, serious health issues are not that common and are only starting at the later end, and career and successes in life are generally apparent. That's not to say someone can be a failure until they're 55 and then become a success after, many years later.
The 40 to 55 age period differs from 62 to 67 in that it is not the culmination of a well lived life but one of one being lived well.
From 70 to 90 and beyond can be a person's best period! I believe that if care is taken of health earlier on (no smoking, no drinking alcohol, eat good and engage in regular aerobic exercise) then while there may be limits there's still a tremendous amount of experience, wisdom, know-how, etc.. In fact some of the greatest artists and writers in history did their best works in this time period.
I know a lot of "old" young people and a lot of "young" old people.
There was a woman in my Support Group a few years ago, she was in her late 80's and she tended her garden, mowed her own lawn and took care of her "farm". She no longer had the animals that she once had but she still had the "get up and go" attitude.
I remember my Grandma she was a very strong woman and had her health battles. If I could be half as strong and resilient as she was I would be a very happy person.
I think the ideal thing is to be the best you can be at any time of your life.
If you think you can be better then you are not doing your best.
Grandma1954 07/23/23 2:12 pm
(Ventingisback)
My mother was widowed at 73...spent 10 years traveling with one kid or another whenever the opportunity arose for 10 years, living as indpendently as possible (for a blind woman), isolated out in our country family home until she was 91. She did it all...cooked, cleaned, did laundry, gardened, filled the bird feeders, burned her paper garbage in an outdoor barrell, cared for her cat...swept snow from her front steps. Honestly, she asked for so little help. I had to be kind of sneaky, (doing things for her according to my own standards without telling her) because she prided herself on doing it all herself.
She gave up the house at 91, her choice to move into town to an independent living senior apartment complex.
That summer, she needed a goal...(an excuse to keep living, I think), so she decided to learn how to swim at the YMCA. She was the oldest student ever to sign up for swim lessons.
Big write up in local newspaper : ) !!!
She had 2 heart attacks a few months later, but managed to live a life of (mostly) joy until she was 2 months shy if her 98th birthday.
Being her daughter, and her caregiver, was one of the very best things I have had the privelege to do in my life. She taught me so much.
You’re very kind and giving, towards your mom and sister. You’re 70 now.
“Being her daughter, and her caregiver, was one of the very best things I have had the privelege to do in my life.”
That’s an amazing attitude. There’s no doubt you’re kind. Your mom also sounds like she was amazing and kind. Independent until 91. Moved to IL until 98. You did an amazing job.
At the same time, the situation makes me very angry for you. Your parents should have encouraged you to lead a happy, fulfilling, ambitious life. Not to become (even if you were willing!!) a caregiver and servant to them, who even says, “What a privilege!”
When you offered to help for years, your mom could have said, “No thanks. It’s really nice of you, but I’m now in IL, and I want to hire whoever is necessary so that you’re REALLY free to pursue your life. Too many daughters are encouraged to help, and the time they help here and there all adds up in the end, trust me. It’s all time that you’ll never get back, dear daughter. Let’s hire whoever we need, so you’re free to live.”
Your mom travelled a lot…She should have used that money for her care when she got elderly, so that YOU would be as free as possible. So that YOU would need to help as little as possible.
You are such a wonderful cheerleader and champion, defending caregivers everywhere! I really feel your kindness and concern.
But...in the case of my caregiving for my mother, those years were the first time the two of us had any real relationship at all. My "sacrifice", if you want to call it that, resulted in a great healing, enormous trust, love and forgiveness between my mother and myself.
By some great miracle, I had learned how to give her the care, respect, and protection she had not been able to give me as her child. That "full circle" / role reversal experience has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.
I think some people in this world get to simply "live" life...others are here to be of service.
Then I’m really glad for you!! :)
I don’t think there is a specific age that is best. It’s different for everyone.
I have longevity in my family.
My great aunts, paternal grandfather’s sisters lived into their late 90’s. I have a cousin who is 100. She still talks about what she plans to do next year!
A few of them I remember with great fondness. My Aunt E had enormous faith and volunteered at Mass until her late 90’s. but she didn’t allow the church to dictate her life. She fell in love with a divorced Episcopalian who had a child. She married him even though her Catholic priest told her not to. It was quite a brave but scandalous thing to do back then.
She and her sister baked delicious desserts. They sewed gorgeous christening gowns, ladies night gowns, baby clothes, etc and sold them to upscale boutiques. They did incredible embroidery, tatting, smocking on the clothing. They stayed in great shape because they walked everywhere!
Another great aunt found out that her husband was cheating on her and she packed up his clothes in a suitcase, dropped it off at her MIL’s house and told her MIL that she could have him back! LOL 😆 My aunt inherited a very large house and she rented out rooms to earn a living to support herself.
My mom’s brother who lived to be 96, also went against the church’s rules and married a divorced Protestant (Baptist) woman who had a child. He moved to the east coast and was an usher in his church until he was quite old. He played his guitar daily until his Parkinson’s disease prevented him from doing so. I have pictures of him as a young man playing with his band. He was a fantastic guitarist.
My mom’s dad loved to garden after he retired. He had a beautiful rose garden and a nice vegetable garden in his backyard.
As long as we have good health and a good outlook, age is irrelevant. We can find joy and fulfillment in our older years.