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I have not posted in a while.
( I actually got into affordable housing for six months, and it was such an unhealthy, traumatizing environment, that I ended up right back here to just to breath clean air and feel safe. I was also finally diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. I am currently looking for a normal apartment and will use my disability account savings and hope it doesn't run out before she dies and leaves me her house.)
One of the worst things now about being back here, is my mother's worsening breath over the last so many months. She says she brushes her teeth and gets regular cleanings, but her breath smells like mothballs (or plaque) and possibly something else I can't figure out.
It's mostly when she talks or just breaths. Her breath fills up about three feet or so of space. If she is on her computer in her office, I cannot go in there because the whole room smells. I am literally unable to be close to her because it makes me want to throw up. It's becoming really disturbing.
As someone with autism, this is a sensory nightmare for me. I've been hunting for the little scented plastic nose ring I bought that will help mask the odor.
I do not think she always brushes her teeth as she often falls asleep on the couch with her mouth side open, and then gets up in the morning and gets busy enough that she forgets to eat or drink water, so I am wondering if she is brushing as much as she says... I bought her dry mouth lozenges but she doesn't use them enough. I am going to buy some mints she likes and leave them on the counter as a way to encourage her to use them more often.
Either way, I am beginning to think that the bad breath is more systemic than just poor oral hygiene. She is 86 and eats a lot of sugar at night on an empty stomach, doesn't drink enough water at high altitude here, and isn't looking so well - kind of pale and face sunken in more than usual.
I have told her a couple of times that maybe she needs to get a workup, but she doesn't bother. I really cannot say much to her because she gets defensive and that is triggering for my mental health. She has a personality disorder with OCD and unchecked anxiety. I never know when a normal conversation is going to go sideways. I walk on eggshells a lot.
I have been reading that bad breath can be caused by a number of things, but if I can smell it and it lingers when she is just talking, then it may be systemic - like unprocessed waste being filtered back and out through her lungs.
Has anyone else dealt with this? My grandmother lived to be 102 and had bad breath, but it was more plaque, and didn't project into the air three feet in front of her.
** I am back to trying to stay away from her for other reasons in spite of the enmeshed relationship she always tries to have with me. She does rely on me a lot more these days and I am happy to help, but maybe the bad breath is a reminder to stay away as much as possible because of the smell. At least soon I will not be living here full time and just working at my home business out of here because she has the space for all of my books I sell.
I have to admit that I am totally over dealing with her for the most part. I love my mother, but she has treated me like crap, and if the yelling is going to come with bad breath, that at least makes me walk away much faster rather than stand and defend myself, which is something I am still working on.

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wileycat66, your Mom's breath could be something as simple as sinus issues due to pollen, dust, mold, dozens of different things. Does she use a nose spray? Sometimes those have a strange odor when used.


If your Mom has dry mouth (I am dealing with that myself), I found peppermint candy or Lifesavers help. Also, have Mom try a different brand of toothpaste if she tends to use the same brand over and over. I remember my Mom's breath had a strange smell from the toothpaste she was using, but I couldn't get her to try a different brand.
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My husband had a mothball odor emanating from his body......most noticeably from his clothing when I washed it. It bothered me tremendously and I researched it online for ages. Nothing significant came up. But...he was later diagnosed with non alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver and developed a cancerous lesion on it! He was put on the transplant list and got a new liver in 2022. Ever since, the mothball smell is gone.

A mothball odor from the mouth normally comes from dry mouth, sinus problems, or poor oral hygiene. However, if those are not the issue, liver, kidney or metabolic issues can be the cause.
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notgoodenough 16 hours ago
It can also be due to dehydration. When my mom had to limit her fluid intake because of the CHF, a side effect was bad breath that often smelled like mothballs.

It could be mom isn't drinking enough water because she's afraid of not making it to the bathroom in time.
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My first thought would be gum desease. It smells like rotten eggs or sulfur. If she has it, she is not getting regular cleanings because a dentist will find it in the early stages. Then it could be something stomach wise. My husband is a mouth breather but once he brushes his teeth there is no problem. Mom needs a full physical. Medicare pays for one a year.
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wileycat66 9 hours ago
Thank you. She definitely does get cleanings. I am noticing that even after she brushes her teeth it does not go away. I will try to talk to her about it again.
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First I would caution you about relying on your mom to leave you the house. Or expecting it to be left to you. Just do not expect it to happen, if it does...great.

Now the bad breath.
It can be any number of things.
An infection. that might be oral but there are other conditions that can cause the breath to be bad so it may not be a dental problem.
Not brushing her teeth
Many medications can cause a dry mouth that can lead to bad breath. It can be a prescription medication or OTC medication.
There is a topical product some people use DMSO that can cause bad breath (onion or garlic odor)

So....
If you have talked to your mom about this but she either does not care or there is a medical condition that she can't help you have few options.
You moved in with mom...You save as much as you can as fast as you can and move out.
You avoid contact with mom as much as you can.
You avoid any situation that may result in an argument. If she tries to start one, don't argue...walk away.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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wileycat66 9 hours ago
Thank you.

She is invested in leaving me the house. She tried to talk to my wealthy narcissistic father about his side of estate planing to help me keep it for a long time, but he was a complete jerk about it. I am now no contact with him and my greedy step-mother. That was not an impulsive call on my part, but a long time coming...

I have saved money already so I am currently looking for an apartment and will have one soon. I went to look for one today and the manager told me they allow smoking, so I had to pass. .

I work part time selling books online (for 20 years) and I am trying to work harder at that as well.

My mother does take a statin.

Thanks for the reminder to just walk away. I am getting a bit better at this - or shutting down having to explain myself by just not doing it. Keeping it simple and staying away as much as possible.

I hope you have a lovely evening!
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