Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Look for answers to specific quesitons in the Care Topics in the main navigation menu.
If you post a question to the open forum, you will need to provide as much info as possible in order to get the best and most pertinent advice.
FYI:
This open forum is no different than FaceBook, X, Nextdoor, etc... this is a global forum. People post opinions that are often not sugar-coated and sometimes judgmental. You cannot have a thin-skin on this forum. The vast majority of the responders are very helpful, kind and sympathetic people who have walked in your shoes and those are the people you pay attention to. But some will be the turds in the punchbowl, just ignore them.
If we are going really in "general terms" I would say: Expect to lose your relationship as you know it. You won't be wife. You will be caregiver. You won't be daughter. You will be caregiver. Your Mom won't be Mom, she will be the one in need of care. Your husband won't be hubby, he will be the one in need of care.
I will also say that in general your learning curve will be shockingly steeper than you imagined and you will judge both the one in need of care and yourself much too harshly.
I will also say you should expect the unexpected. Nothing can help you to line up the ducks in a row because they will constantly be scattering everywhere.
Also know that you will hold yourself responsible for their happiness and for their well being when there is no way you ARE or can be responsible for either. They will not be happy all the time. They never WERE happy all the time, with the only difference now being that you hold yourself responsible for their happiness (mistakenly and to no avail).
Try not to hang on to your previous life and any ideas you had of what life would be like. Your previous life is in the past and you won't be retaining it again. If you need to, cry. It's okay. The sooner you can let go of what was and open yourself to becoming a caregiver, which is short means negating who you had been, but accepting who you are becoming--someone whose purpose, for the time being, is putting someone else's list of of growing needs before themselves, then you will be able to make peace with the situation.
Start (or continue) meditating and exercising. Find respite care stat and put yourself first whenever possible. Don’t assume the people you thought would be there for you actually are, but be open to the strangers who will make you cry with their kindness. And make sure you have a good lawyer.
About what exactly? Because no one can answer such a general question. I could START. First thing I would say is "Join the Aging Care Forum and start reading". It would take a book on Amazon to begin, and there are, by the way, MANY. I especially recommend Gretchen Staebler's MotherLode.
There are many topics here. Find them on the AgingCare aqua-blue timeline at the top of the page. That may trigger some specific questions.
Meanwhile, you are in the right place and whatever you are dealing with you won't be alone here. Just start reading the forum and jotting down your specific questions to be addressed one at a time.
And a warm welcome to you! If you fill out your profile (click on avatar on far right of the AgingCare timeline, and on the menu click on profile), we will have a better idea of just what kind of caregiving you are doing, and for whom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Look for answers to specific quesitons in the Care Topics in the main navigation menu.
If you post a question to the open forum, you will need to provide as much info as possible in order to get the best and most pertinent advice.
FYI:
This open forum is no different than FaceBook, X, Nextdoor, etc... this is a global forum. People post opinions that are often not sugar-coated and sometimes judgmental. You cannot have a thin-skin on this forum. The vast majority of the responders are very helpful, kind and sympathetic people who have walked in your shoes and those are the people you pay attention to. But some will be the turds in the punchbowl, just ignore them.
Oh, Geaton…that’s a great way of expressing some of the posts on this forum!
Hey, I may have to steal that line from time to time. It’s perfect! 😆
Thanks for the giggle and the wise words of advice!
Expect to lose your relationship as you know it.
You won't be wife. You will be caregiver.
You won't be daughter. You will be caregiver.
Your Mom won't be Mom, she will be the one in need of care.
Your husband won't be hubby, he will be the one in need of care.
I will also say that in general your learning curve will be shockingly steeper than you imagined and you will judge both the one in need of care and yourself much too harshly.
I will also say you should expect the unexpected. Nothing can help you to line up the ducks in a row because they will constantly be scattering everywhere.
Also know that you will hold yourself responsible for their happiness and for their well being when there is no way you ARE or can be responsible for either. They will not be happy all the time. They never WERE happy all the time, with the only difference now being that you hold yourself responsible for their happiness (mistakenly and to no avail).
I could START. First thing I would say is "Join the Aging Care Forum and start reading".
It would take a book on Amazon to begin, and there are, by the way, MANY.
I especially recommend Gretchen Staebler's MotherLode.
There are many topics here. Find them on the AgingCare aqua-blue timeline at the top of the page. That may trigger some specific questions.
Meanwhile, you are in the right place and whatever you are dealing with you won't be alone here. Just start reading the forum and jotting down your specific questions to be addressed one at a time.
And a warm welcome to you! If you fill out your profile (click on avatar on far right of the AgingCare timeline, and on the menu click on profile), we will have a better idea of just what kind of caregiving you are doing, and for whom.