My mom is 84 and had a stroke last May, which has left her wheelchair-bound and with 24/7 care at home. She can speak and eat and mostly has her marbles (short-term memory is bad). She has always had a big appetite-- for food, for drink, and for life in general. Even after the stroke, she would eat a lot, want dessert, and want 2 drinks. Now we go out to dinner and she has one drink, and maybe 3 bites of food. I asked her if she is trying to starve herself to death and she laughed. She still has a huge life force, but not much appetite. Her home aide says she eats a pretty good breakfast, but mostly has Ensures for the rest of the day. She did have breast cancer a few years ago, so maybe that is recurring?? I guess I will call her oncologist, although not sure what she would do at this point.
Did she have a swallow test after the stroke?
If you, like me, like to have actual numbers to work with, you could ask a dietitian what your mother's Base Metabolic Requirement (BMR) should be. Then you can keep tabs on whether she's getting enough fuel to keep body and soul together :)
My dad eats like a horse, yet still is losing weight...and when my mom didn't eat at all, her body told us she was getting ready to go, so that is a big indicator.
Talk to her about it, be transparent, and ask HER if she feels to go back to the dr. It's the one thing elders can control...being poked and prodded is no joke at that age, one becomes more sensitive than ever on all levels...
Three months ago I moved her to assisted living. Last week we went for her quarterly doctor's visit, and he was happy that she was up to 106, and so was I.
So perhaps because the aides bring everyone the same serving sizes, and that she is in a communal dining area, that she is eating more. I do make sure she has her ice cream, and pudding, and nutrition drinks in her refrigerator in her apartment also, and she is either eating them well, or giving them out to friends. Whatever it is, we are all happy to see this sign that she is thriving under the care of the folks at the ALF.
I guess sneaking an antidepressant into her meds is not the right thing to do for her mood. Her affect is so flat and the look in her eyes is so blank. She still enjoys her few visitors. The one thing she really enjoys lately is having me google things and people and listening to me read about them. Today we started with Joan of Arc and somehow ended up with Watergate!
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