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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Just this morning I was in the shower and Mom was looking for me and I wanted to scream.. She knew where I was. She was watching the weather and they said it was slippery outside so she was afraid I went out and might crash my car.. She told me she saw my purse and looked through it to see if my wallet was in it because I might have just taken my wallet and left.. I have never done that or left the house without telling her. Things like this happen daily!! It bugs the crap out of me.. When I explain AGAIN that I would never leave without telling her, she some how turns it around that it's my fault...Grrrrrr!!!!
to assandache7: your response reflects serious burnout at best. Anyone carrying the burden of Alzheimer's suffers confusion and often resulting fear and/or anxiety. You need some down time so that your mother's responses to her fears do not trigger your anger, frustration or impatience. Of course you will have to explain AGAIN because of the nature of your mother's disorder, not because she is ignorant or stubborn or trying your patience intentionally. Please, for your sake and your mother's sake, call your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association for support and help,
sharonholmes, welcome to the AgingCare forums. This is a place where we ask and answer questions, discuss topics of mutual interest, and also come to vent.
When I am in the shower and my mother screams in a panicked voice "Where are you??" I am very patient and reassuring with her. I write my whereabouts on a little whiteboard for her, but I don't get angry when she forgets to look at it.
BUT ... that doesn't mean I'm not gritting my teeth and going grrrrrr behind the shower curtain! Sometimes what we post here is a glimpse behind the shower curtain, and not necessarily how we interact with out loved ones.
a dementia patient imo , is likely to show exxagerated symptoms of whatever type of personality previously existed in their lives. a defeatist might do a lot of hand wringing, a dictator will further dictate, a paranoiac will see more black helicopters than ever before. its just a manifestation of the human spirit without filters. nothing to see here moderators, better luck next post.. ( plicks ) " a person who doesnt tip in a chinese resteraunt "
Yes! paranoia and accusations are extremely common. A good read is "36-hr day" Johns Hopkins univ. It has excellent insights and I found many references to my moms behavior in nearly every chapter. It is part of the disease and not rational but very real for the person experiencing it. We must use a lot of patience and reassurance and although it passes for the moment, you may experience it over and over again. My mom gets in a loop over something I've "stolen" or "misdeed" I've done and there is no reasoning with her. I try to just redirect her or listen without agreeing or disagreeing (admittedly, I'm not always 100 percent and sometimes argue cause I'm at my wits end) and it passes.
I no longer take personally, have a good laugh and brace myself for the next funny episode.
My husband seems to be having nightmares. Lately he sleeps in the day and screams all night. I check on him and sometimes he is sleeping. Are the screams from something in his past life or from facilities in which he was abused? He did not do it until more recently.
I suppose that post-traumatic stress disorder could be a factor here. Are you aware of traumas in your husband's history?
In his very interesting book, "Sleep", sleep specialist Dr. Carlos H. Schenck explains the differences between PTSD, night terrors, and nightmares. He states that sleep terrors "are not usually related to psychiatric conditions," and that "nightmares are more closely linked to psychological trauma."
If you are interested in learning more about these conditions, I think you will find Schenck's book highly readable and not too technical for a non-medical audience. If your husband's night activity is a major concern, I suggest that you take him to sleep clinic.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Just this morning I was in the shower and Mom was looking for me and I wanted to scream.. She knew where I was. She was watching the weather and they said it was slippery outside so she was afraid I went out and might crash my car.. She told me she saw my purse and looked through it to see if my wallet was in it because I might have just taken my wallet and left.. I have never done that or left the house without telling her. Things like this happen daily!! It bugs the crap out of me.. When I explain AGAIN that I would never leave without telling her, she some how turns it around that it's my fault...Grrrrrr!!!!
When I am in the shower and my mother screams in a panicked voice "Where are you??" I am very patient and reassuring with her. I write my whereabouts on a little whiteboard for her, but I don't get angry when she forgets to look at it.
BUT ... that doesn't mean I'm not gritting my teeth and going grrrrrr behind the shower curtain! Sometimes what we post here is a glimpse behind the shower curtain, and not necessarily how we interact with out loved ones.
Just so you know ...
Sharon I was just venting!! I am very patient with my Mom and have been caring for her over 12 years...
As my Dad would say " someone has their boxing gloves on"!!
This job requires humor and patience which I have been blessed with.
"Good day, I said Good day"..
nothing to see here moderators, better luck next post.. ( plicks )
" a person who doesnt tip in a chinese resteraunt "
I no longer take personally, have a good laugh and brace myself for the next funny episode.
In his very interesting book, "Sleep", sleep specialist Dr. Carlos H. Schenck explains the differences between PTSD, night terrors, and nightmares. He states that sleep terrors "are not usually related to psychiatric conditions," and that "nightmares are more closely linked to psychological trauma."
If you are interested in learning more about these conditions, I think you will find Schenck's book highly readable and not too technical for a non-medical audience. If your husband's night activity is a major concern, I suggest that you take him to sleep clinic.
Good luck!