My mother and I have a very difficult relationship. And I do mean always. My whole life she has had mental health issues. To her, as "female", I had very little value. She was physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. She was married 5 times 3 of those men were pediphiles. I have been the adult since as far back as I can recall. I pretty much raised myself and my half brother. She abandoned her 3 children from her 1st marriage under the guise of "going to church" and never returned. I am the product of her second marriage, and my brother, the 3rd ( 1st pedo). She made it very clear to everyone that my brothr was her favorite. And even his life with her was far from good. She had estranged her family so we didn't even have that. I did the best I could to protect him.In her late 80s It finally beame clear to her dr. that she was not safe at home. A couple of yrs ago she was placed in a non traditional nursing home. At almost 90 she is by far their oldest resident.I was granted conservatorship. My brother had visited once, just to make sure the facility was acceptable and she would be ok there. At first I was visiting once a week. I live an hour away. Visits are never good. Some are less terrible then others. The staff there are wonderful. Once a week became once a month, mostly to make sure that she is being well cared for. I do call and check in with the staff once a week. They have heard her say some really awful things to me. I try to explain that this is just how she is with me. Pretty sure that she doesn't even know that I came after I've left.I'm her trigger for whatever reason.Am I terrible for wishing for the day that I go there and she doesn't know who I am? That I'm just someone there.
Perhaps going forward just a weekly call to the facility will suffice and cut out the visits completely. That way you can once and for all have the peace in your life that you so deserve.