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My mom died in January and my dad, who never did the cooking, is now having to fend for himself. He's very particular and WILL NOT eat other people's cooking. He has been eating basically junky food (fast food--Teriyaki Madness, Jersey Mikes Subs--Walmart lasagne, Walmart cheap frozen pizzas, spaghetti with Walmart meatballs and sauce). He buys the cheapest stuff at Walmart even though he has the money to buy higher quality food. He goes to Whole Foods to get a peanut butter cookie that he likes, but won't look at their frozen foods, like I've asked him to. I am concerned that these eating habits are contributing (or will ) to cognitive decline. Does anyone else have a problem like this? Any suggestions?

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You won't be able to change him at this point in life. So just let him.
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lmcrane Aug 24, 2026
I agree, but it makes me feel so sad.
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My dad’s diet went to crap his last five to ten years. His doctor explained it as his taste buds dulling and it taking sharper flavors to taste good. Dad explained it as tired of being careful and watching his diet. With age and health issues, he knew the final exit was coming and he just didn’t care to worry over it. He ate ice cream daily, loved McDonald’s sausage burritos, fast food fried chicken tenders, etc. We chose to stop bugging him about it. The sadness you’re feeling may be more related to his loneliness and aging, that’s hard to watch. Take him good foods if you want, otherwise let him be. There will be other sadnesses to come, aging just brings them unfortunately. I wish you peace
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lmcrane 22 hours ago
You are so right. I remember learning about dull taste buds with my grandma, years ago. There's a lot of sadness and also some anger mixed in when I look at the whole picture. Things got a little bit ugly when my mom was rapidly going down and his behavior then upset a few family members to the point that they don't make much effort at all to go visit with him. You could argue that he made his own bed. But all of it makes me sad.
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I read your replies and while it's sweet for you to be concerned, you need to just let it go for your own sake. Your stress over this is having no impact whatsoever on him, but it's harming you. Just let him enjoy his life the way he wants and you go about your own life and enjoy your time with him in positive ways rather than dwelling on this.
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I say just be grateful that your dads eating anything since it apparently was your mom who did all the cooking for him.
He is a grown a$$ man you know and can eat whatever he darn well pleases. So unless you want to drop off homecooked healthy meals every night for him to eat, I would just let him be. At least he's eating.
And just FYI...I knew of a woman who lived the last 5 years of her life just eating cashews and ice-cream, and she died at 103.
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lmcrane 22 hours ago
I think my dad would be the type to live a lot longer. My mom took great care of herself and guess who went first. He wouldn't eat the food I would drop off for him. He doesn't like eating other people's food and I'm pretty sure that includes me as I try to cook as healthy as I can and am largely vegetarian. He can really drive me nuts! :)
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It's too bad he can't have an eating buddy to go yo happy hour on the cheap, watch a football or whatever have a glass of water and a beer or wine; laugh, eat, be social, and say thank you and goodnight!
Are there any people nearby who would enjoy going out and just socialize one or 2 afternoons a week?
T. Will call me and say it's WINE TIME! Go get our other neighbor !! So I walk next door with my dog to find my 98 year old friend. We walk to T's house for wine, food and talk ..
we mix it up from time to time.. T. will drive 98 lovely lady. And I will walk my dog to our happy hour spot, sit on the patio and order a bottle of wine and some plates on the cheap.. if anyone else on our corner wants to join, they most certainly are welcome too:)

it really doesn't hurt to ask your elderly neighbor over for a glass of spirit and a bit o talk and a bite to eat.. it's fun, and wonderful way to socialize these older people. You get to listen to their stories.. it's fun!!! I wouldn't change it .. ENJOY THE MOMENT!
Sometimes T calls me after she call miss 98, and I'll see her racing across the street with her walker!!! Then I scold both of them for starting the party without me... 🤣
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lmcrane 20 hours ago
He set up a "men's club" that meets monthly in the mobile home park where he lives. Sometimes only 1 other guy appears, but that still is good. I've suggested a few times that he should maybe set this up to be twice monthly. Recently, I suggested that maybe the club house could "host" game day on Sunday to watch the football game, and to make it sort of informal. You know, where people come together, bring their own drinks and maybe a snack to share, and everyone watches the game. He actually liked this suggestion!! He's spoken to a couple of guys who are in charge, and they like it, too. I really hope it comes to pass, and that he continues to participate in game day. He tends to back out when things get "too hard."
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You say in one of your responses, "mom took great care of herself and guess who went first."
That tells me that however "healthy" you thought your mother's habits were, they did not extend her life.
There's more to life than strictly controlled diets.
People who exercise, stay fit, and eat all organic, low fat foods, can still drop dead of a heart attack at the age of 40. They may have been putting too much stress on their bodies.
Every human body needs fats, needs carbs, needs salt, a little bit of sugar, some carbohydrates, and enough protein. Fiber can help with digestion, but is not essential to life. People who try to cut too much out of their daily diet and over stress their body with exercise are not any healthier than those who are not on the same obsessive regimen.
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As far as I know (and I might be wrong) there is no evidence that junk food either causes or exacerbates cognitive decline. “Good food” is important for growing children, but for elders whose bodies are already formed, sufficient carbohydrate is probably most important.
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I also call my neighbors and ask if they need anything from the store or if they want to go for a ride.

louise died 10 years ago. Louis her hubby was alone. Family was a few cities over. Every morning T. Would call me over to grab a cup of coffee.!I asked if I could grab 2 cups. Yes!
I would make a bagel n cream cheese and wrap it, grab the coffee and knock on Louis' door.. and I'd wait for a response. After work, I'd walk yo his house and recover the plate and cup

that lasted til their daughter moved him closer to her...🥰
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If he has money for "higher quality food" that doesn't mean he knows how to buy it, prepare or cook it. If he's eating what you feel is "junk food" be very happy he's eating anything AT ALL.

You need to realize Dad is in grief from loosing his wife. When my husband died, the few 2 years were the worst. Unless he has lost 20 lbs overnight, he is fine not being nagged about what he eats.
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lmcrane 20 hours ago
You know what--you may be right. The problem I have is that my dad has NEVER said how sad he was that my mom went down, how sad he was that she left, etc. I think that's because he's from an era where a man didn't show feelings or cry. I never once saw him cry about my mom, and they would have been married 64 years today. I think he just couldn't show any emotion, that that would have sort of destroyed him. But for me, it would have done me a world of good if he only could have said how sad he was, how heartbroken he was, etc. I've told him that in the first year after a spouse's death, the survivor should take it very easy, but he's been like a pinball in a machine. It's been tough.
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Let him eat whatever he wants!
if you feel it necessary, sneak in more eggs when you make him French toast.
finely chop veggies so he doesn't see them. Add them to pasta too.

put in a teaspoon of protein powder in the pancake mix, or breakfast shake.

look up sneaking food into kids' meals..
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CaringWifeAZ 16 hours ago
Lol - that's what I do for my 3 grandkids. Very picky eaters, and I'm worried about them getting enough protein and real nutrition.

But, a 92 year old man?! Let him eat whatever he wants!
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