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How did it work out and what was the ball park cost? My mother has dementia. She is age 86. She has been in and out of the hospital but is now in a palliative care unit arriving from a nursing home. Her meds appear to be controlled now and her demeanor is much calmer now. I do not want to send her back to a nursing home. I want to bring her home. However, I will need help and am looking more for a free-lance person. I know that we have to get referrals, background checks, etc. Hospice will teach me how to administer meds and I will be here when she needs to be turned in the bed. She is not ambulatory. This is would be the first time I have ever considered this and I'm reluctant. She has improved so much in palliative care that I want to try this.
Any help would be appreciated!

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WHOA! Stop! While I admire your willingness to consider helping, the truth is her dementia and mobility will not get 100% better. You will have to provide all her help (cooking, laundry, meds, cleaning, toileting etc) while you navigate her insurance network then find and hire a caregiver. Since she is not ambulatory I don't think she can be left alone at anytime due to safety concerns. So that means 24 hour care which is very expensive. Her insurance may pay for a few services such as bath aide or respite care but the rest will probably be out of pocket. As for turning in the bed, that usually needs to happen every 2 hours to prevent skin breakdown and bedsores. If you have a job you'll have to take time off till you find the help you need. Be thankful she has improved and let her stay there so she can get the best help she deserves because it will be a frustrating journey.....are you ready for your life to change completely because it will.
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Please, for your own health and hers, leave her in the nursing home. You can't turn her every 2 hours. When would you sleep? Getting a freelance caretaker requires you to not only be sure he/she is honest and skilled, but you will have to pay social security, workman's comp, insurance and anything else required for employees. By the time you do all of this, it would probably cost the same as bringing in someone from an agency. If you can't leave her in the home because it costs too much, do some of the care yourself and get someone from an agency for the night shift and respite for you.
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While I agree with tinatincan and judypanama -
on another hand, I've heard and seen caregiving horror stories for "agency help". And, many caregivers aren't like me - I would do ANYTHING for my parents. My dad was Not non-ambulatory or demented, and he was not a big man, and I am strong from a lifetime of handling horses and heavy hay bales, as well as I had immense CARE for my wonderful special parents. Now that my parents are gone - and my middle name is compassion and empathy - I would very much like word-of-mouth freelance caregiving positions, like thru our church, etc. It's very hard to find, in this day-n-age. God knows, I care - am compassionate, empathetic, honest, ethical, integrous - and took the caregiving classes to be a better caregiver for my parents. I do not keep up with "State requirements" for yearly fees (revenue to the State), etc. - so wouldn't be able to work thru agencies... as I said, I've seen horror stories thru agencies. Further, my dad had the good karma for a truly wonderful retired Adventist RN in 1965-8, to live-in with my grandfather, across the street from us - she was freelance and worked 24/6, just got the one day a week off. She was so terrific, my grandfather actually proposed to her (and she came to my dad and said "I think U should know..., and of course I said no.") She was just a true ethical honest gem... those were different times - but I do still reflect those ethics, and would love for word-of-mouth freelance, IF it was available.
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Remember that your own health is vital to be the caregiver you want to be.

I agree with the others. If you bring her home you may be taking on far more than you realize. Hiring help can be hard. If she's receiving hospice care now, the facility will coordinate with hospice and you can relax and be the loving daughter that your mother needs now rather than a completely exhausted caregiver. Unless you already know someone you can count on 100% to help you at home, I think you're better off leaving her where she is.

Please keep us posted. We'd like to know how you are handling this.
Carol
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this is accomplished often in my neighbor hood, with all eyes open to the complicated issues......... Some of us "mature nurses" still have endless compassion and time to devote to end of life familiy situations.
Ask your local MDs, home health and hospice agencies for a list of local
independent home care companion providers and check with actual referrals.
It is possible if all cooperate and the home worker does their own taxes and
passes the tests of many known local happy referrals.
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My mthr's hospice service comes to her in her Memory Care home. That's her place where she is familiar with the faces and her room. If I were to change her environment, I am sure she would be more confused than ever and her anxiety would soar.

Hospice service is allowing me to spend time with her as a daughter not as a nurse. It is a delight to have that freedom, and I strongly suggest that you try it longer before making such a life changing decision. Please talk to the social worker and the pastor at Hospice who will help you see the reality of the 24/7 work.
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My husband. (alz) blessed w long term care (never thought we'd use) allows us to hire private so I have someone closeby LTC pays me back what I pay him. I will give him a 1099 & he pays ss & taxes himself. He was informed when hired & said he gets other 1099 so pray it all is right. Our first time doing this. oh yes, I got his name asking different people & he does this for others. I like it because he is available when I need him rather than a always certain day & time.
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Has anyone thought of hiring someone to do your
housework, laundry, cleaning, dusting to free you
to be the caretaker. Then when you have a Dr appt
maybe a volunteer for a couple of hours to free you.
They wouldn't need any medical training and would
cost less. Something to think about.
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I am a nurse, I have worked with seniors for several years as a Director of Nursing in an assisted living community. Many families see their loved ones stabilize and they want to bring them home because it is very difficult to see their loved ones in a community setting. Hiring a "non-agency" caregiver might lower your cost but the risk is also higher. No caregiver agency or not comes without risk but the risk is extremely high when you higher someone privately. Hiring through an agency that is reputable gives you an opportunity to know that all background screenings have been completed without you having to figure this out or pay for it. Reputable agencies will have liability, bonds and other mandatory insurances in the event there is any injury to the employee or your loved one. If your caregiver injures themselves in your home, you can possibly be liable for the expenses of their care which just add additional expense and stress to you. If you do hire someone that does not work with an agency I would suggest possibly having multiple interviews, possibly with someone who works in the medical field so they can ask the clinical questions needed. Make sure to really call all references and that they are true professional references, not "friends" pretending to be professional references, that is very common. I would really consider the pros and cons, having your Mom in a community setting that specializes in Dementia care could be a great benefit to you and to your mother especially since she is non-ambulatory, with the additional oversight of 24 hour staffing in a quality community setting she will get the care she needs and reduce situations such as skin integrity issues and poor nutrition. There are many factors to assess. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
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Sandra 93, great suggestion and almost exactly what we did. We never used any agencies, just compassionate people who helped us do housework, be a companion at times. At the end they even cooked all meals, etc to allow me to do nothing but lay in bed with my mom. It was wonderful, a time I will cherish for ever.
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I did hire freelance help for my mother-in-law. We had to go through several people before we found a couple of really good ones. It wasn't easy, but it was what she could afford. I supervised very closely until I knew I could trust them. I dropped in frequently, checked the house out, saw the meals prepared. I gave them a menu of the foods she needed and liked. I set up a schedule for laundry, bathing, etc. They seemed grateful for the specific guidance. We paid by the day. One person worked 4 days and the other 3. Unfortunately, you have to interview and actually try out several people before you are satisfied. I wish you and yours the very best.
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I use website care. All woman for my wife who has dementia. I couldn't be happier.
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I hired someone off a website care. She is compassionate, trustworthy, fun and dependable. They offer background checks for their people that post on the service.
I had tried an agency before and it was a nightmare so I was very cautious. Mother's caregiver lives in with us and works 25 hours per week. My schedule is flexible, so it is sometimes much more and sometimes less, but we pay $250 + room and board. She has a 2 room apartment with bath in our home.
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care is very good.I am a private care giver now for 26 yrs ,I work with what people can pay and where case is.$10 $12 $15 an hr is going rate here in upstate Ny..Good Luck
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forget the nursing home... despite what others think, most nursing homes don't turn their patients every 2 hours... from my experience caring for my 92 yr. old dementia mom at home, YOU can give the care you want for your mom... hospice is a god send r , rely on their experience... we have used caregivers from home health care groups for my 2 elderly cousins, ...take the time to do your research for the person you want... you won't regret it later....
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Nursing homes have been around about 80 years. ....families about 15, 000 years. Everyone dies....where would YOU want to die, in a nursing home, or in someone's home like your own or your son/daughter's?
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My mom and step-dad hired a free lance person to help both despite our objections and he forged over $10,000 of checks from their joint account before he was caught, tried and convicted. We have never seen a dime of that money returned. They did not learn their lesson for they hired another free lance person to help both, but she about let my mother die after 8 days of being home from rehab where my mother had made great progress. My step-sister oversees the three caregivers at home for my dad 24/7, but they are not free lance. I would never hire a free lance. Too risky.
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I took care of my mom with help not associated with an agency. I also experienced the care my mom received in a nursing home during rehab. I felt my mom received a much better level of care at home. It was not easy but it was where my mom wanted to be and where I felt she was receiving the best care. You need to do what you think is best. If it doesn't work then go to plan b. Best of luck to you and your mom.
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Cmagnum, so sorry to hear your parents were victims of crimes. I don't think everyone has this experience, and some who use agencies have this experience, despite background checks. There are ways to get the best of either private, or agency, help and it starts with family doing a lot of oversight. Even if you have paid help they always need supervision. We have had both agency, and private--for us the dice has landed beautifully with a total angel who is a private helper. Best wishes to everyone who needs help, always supervise those caregivers especially in the first couple months!
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we are not all bad..call Refs and call them all.
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I've known of several situations where the private caregiver was a lifesaver. As 25yearsexp says - call referrals and check them all. That goes for agencies, too.
Carol
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Try a 6-pack. 2 caretakers shared room, usually 6 residents. You pay the rent, and the caretakers take care of 6 people. You can stop by during the day, walk your mom talke with her, bring snacks for everyone talk wtih caretakers, play board games, etc......You get to go home knowing she is in a homelike enviroment with other resdients....
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6 packs are usually one story houses in your neighborhood with a permanent wheel chair ramp up the front steps. My mom and aunt are in one, within a mile of me. I drop in, take their meds to them, take them to dr appointments, etc. Mom is on hospice, and they call and let me know when they go, so I can be there.
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Yes, I have known many. Some I will never forget for their kindness and patience, some I would hope for no one to ever hire, but then its all about what your willing to deal with. Checking references is a MUST, there are a few treasures that are working privately, single moms, etc; and I will tell you there are some parts to love and kindness that even money just can not buy, so if you are fortunate enough to come by one of them, make sure you give them an AWESOME reference when their work is done for your family. Now be careful because I have also heard of some nightmares. Again, check the references carefully, work history, etc.
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Also go with your gut feelings when hiring a caregiver. I almost always know when I hire someone and will regret it later, by the same token, I know when I've found a gem. (Still do a background check)
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I got my mother's caregiver off care website They offer background checks and my lady is live in free lance. She is WONDERFUL!!! The agencies sucked bad, but free lance is my only way to go from here on out.
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I think freelance can work out. I have been a free lancer and it worked out and the people and their families liked me. I didn't steal or do anything untoward. I just cared for the person and did what I was told in a loving way. My motto for working is that I am working for the Lord, no matter what I am doing.
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Care website saved me. Every person was great. Just hired a person full-time because I didn't want to lose them and they now have a schedule. Nothing worse then having all of your freelancers "busy" the time you need them. Yes, I'm going to go broke but I really don't have a choice do I? Not poor enough. Mortgage payments will be the first not paid! Wife's care comes first.
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What do you mean by freelance? I answered assuming it meant not connected to an agency. If freelance means get who you can one day at a time, I have no idea how that would even work.
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Go on care website for free. Put a request for what you want in a care person. They offer background checks--some do. I just went with a feeling and had people come over for a paid test to see if they like the person ( I tell them). I find that people want a minimum hours and prices should be upfront in your request. After care who else offers this service--anyone out there know?
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