Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My mthr's hospice service comes to her in her Memory Care home. That's her place where she is familiar with the faces and her room. If I were to change her environment, I am sure she would be more confused than ever and her anxiety would soar.

Hospice service is allowing me to spend time with her as a daughter not as a nurse. It is a delight to have that freedom, and I strongly suggest that you try it longer before making such a life changing decision. Please talk to the social worker and the pastor at Hospice who will help you see the reality of the 24/7 work.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

this is accomplished often in my neighbor hood, with all eyes open to the complicated issues......... Some of us "mature nurses" still have endless compassion and time to devote to end of life familiy situations.
Ask your local MDs, home health and hospice agencies for a list of local
independent home care companion providers and check with actual referrals.
It is possible if all cooperate and the home worker does their own taxes and
passes the tests of many known local happy referrals.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Remember that your own health is vital to be the caregiver you want to be.

I agree with the others. If you bring her home you may be taking on far more than you realize. Hiring help can be hard. If she's receiving hospice care now, the facility will coordinate with hospice and you can relax and be the loving daughter that your mother needs now rather than a completely exhausted caregiver. Unless you already know someone you can count on 100% to help you at home, I think you're better off leaving her where she is.

Please keep us posted. We'd like to know how you are handling this.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

While I agree with tinatincan and judypanama -
on another hand, I've heard and seen caregiving horror stories for "agency help". And, many caregivers aren't like me - I would do ANYTHING for my parents. My dad was Not non-ambulatory or demented, and he was not a big man, and I am strong from a lifetime of handling horses and heavy hay bales, as well as I had immense CARE for my wonderful special parents. Now that my parents are gone - and my middle name is compassion and empathy - I would very much like word-of-mouth freelance caregiving positions, like thru our church, etc. It's very hard to find, in this day-n-age. God knows, I care - am compassionate, empathetic, honest, ethical, integrous - and took the caregiving classes to be a better caregiver for my parents. I do not keep up with "State requirements" for yearly fees (revenue to the State), etc. - so wouldn't be able to work thru agencies... as I said, I've seen horror stories thru agencies. Further, my dad had the good karma for a truly wonderful retired Adventist RN in 1965-8, to live-in with my grandfather, across the street from us - she was freelance and worked 24/6, just got the one day a week off. She was so terrific, my grandfather actually proposed to her (and she came to my dad and said "I think U should know..., and of course I said no.") She was just a true ethical honest gem... those were different times - but I do still reflect those ethics, and would love for word-of-mouth freelance, IF it was available.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Please, for your own health and hers, leave her in the nursing home. You can't turn her every 2 hours. When would you sleep? Getting a freelance caretaker requires you to not only be sure he/she is honest and skilled, but you will have to pay social security, workman's comp, insurance and anything else required for employees. By the time you do all of this, it would probably cost the same as bringing in someone from an agency. If you can't leave her in the home because it costs too much, do some of the care yourself and get someone from an agency for the night shift and respite for you.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

WHOA! Stop! While I admire your willingness to consider helping, the truth is her dementia and mobility will not get 100% better. You will have to provide all her help (cooking, laundry, meds, cleaning, toileting etc) while you navigate her insurance network then find and hire a caregiver. Since she is not ambulatory I don't think she can be left alone at anytime due to safety concerns. So that means 24 hour care which is very expensive. Her insurance may pay for a few services such as bath aide or respite care but the rest will probably be out of pocket. As for turning in the bed, that usually needs to happen every 2 hours to prevent skin breakdown and bedsores. If you have a job you'll have to take time off till you find the help you need. Be thankful she has improved and let her stay there so she can get the best help she deserves because it will be a frustrating journey.....are you ready for your life to change completely because it will.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter