Long story short my dad fried his brain with alcohol and my mom had to become his power of attorney as he was giving away all his money. He got put in a nursing home and after sometime, my mom decided she wanted a divorce which meant signing over power of attorney to someone else which she did. Well, that power of attorney died a few years ago before my mom could get her divorce and now there is a different power of attorney person again (another family member). They are trying to sue my mom saying she misused my dad's money from 9 years ago! Gotta love backstabing family members, am I right? She has not even been his power of attorney in over 8 years and the lawyer expects her to produce receipts from that time. She can't even get bank statements because that bank only holds them for 7 years. They are not even legally divorced yet and they had joint bank accounts at that time for crissake she could have used his money wether she was power of attorney or not. Can anyone offer some advice that may help?
Right now everything is in a mess, time for your Mother and/or relatives talk to an Elder Law Attorney to try to straighten everything out.
I am curious why it has taken so long for your Mother to get a divorce. Most States will allow a divorce in 6 months or 1 year if there are no minor children involved born to your parents. Now years later, it would be very difficult for your Mom to obtain a divorce as your Dad's memory issues had advanced. I have a feeling your Mom said "divorce" and to have someone else as POA out of fear of not knowing what to do.
incompetent( he has Korsakoff disease from alcohol) . At the time my mom was my dads poa of health and finances and got told if she left him he was a danger to himself and she could be charged, so he was put in an assisted living facility, tried to proceed with the divorce again only to be told that she could not divorce him unless she gave up her right as Power of attorney, My Dad had a back up power of attorney on his will( my moms brother ) who then took over.
well he died suddenly a few years ago before he got approved for guardian so that they could finish the divorce and my mom had given him all of her Poa receipts and documents.
Now my moms sister(a backstabber) petioned the courts last year to become my dads guardian promising us she would finish the divorce, is instead trying to charge my mom questioning her time as power of attorney( from 2008-2009) as mismanging my dads funds because she knows all the receipts were lost with the death of his last poa and she is also saying he is intitled to the family house which he has not lived at or contributed to in over 8 years
By the way, about the house: if your aunt is now your father's court appointed guardian, she has a legal duty to protect your father's best interests. Seen in that light, it is only proper for her to investigate what has happened previously and what assets he owns. Look on her actions as something she is doing *for* your father, not to punish or betray your mother, and I hope it will make it easier to approach the whole situation in a business-like rather than emotional way.
That doesn't mean you have to like it, of course. It's just that feeling outraged or upset isn't going to help your mother.
Does your mother have access to good legal advice?
I don't quite understand the POA bit. Is there a law that says Mom had to give up POA if she divorces? Presumably the other family member was chosen by Dad while he was still competent as the back up POA. Did he select Aunty as an alternative POA? What rights does Mom's sister have to assume Guardianship she won't even be related once the divorce goes through. Are you the only child and an adult? Can you not assume guardianship assuming you want to.
I'm just shooting in the dark here because I don't know how this all works legally. With a joint account I would have thought Mom could spend the money any way she darn well chose. As usual I say "Follow the money" is there a large amount involved that aunty has her greedy little eyes on?
You can be the POA for anyone. You do not need to be married to them....and if you cease to be married...you could still be the POA. Maybe she didn't want to be...but..it is nonsense that it would stop a divorce proceeding.
Regarding the old paper work they want the only thing i could come up with was to have my mom tell the lawyer that as legally required she transferred all her paper work to her brother( the poa that died) when she signed off as poa and what he did with it is between you and him.
What is your mother's lawyer advising her to do, I wonder? How long ago did your uncle pass away? And what happened between then and your aunt's petition for guardianship?
As far as archived records go, I suppose the only other thing your mother might do, if she felt inclined to be helpful, is ask your uncle's executor - whoever that was - what was done with his personal records. If any.
I honestly can't see what your mother can reasonably be expected to contribute to this fact-finding exercise, assuming that's what it is. How have things been left for the time being?
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I held POA for my husband. If anyone at any time had asked me to account for how money in our joint account was being spent I'd tell them to suck eggs. That was my money, too. In fact, I was the one who was employed and making much more than my husband's SS check. I had POA so I could deal with his insurance companies and such. I would have managed our joint account with or without POA.
The absence of any records or documentation doesn't make your mother guilty of anything or even the presumption of guilt. Quite the contrary - you aunt must have some evidence to proceed with any legal action against your mother.
So frankly - until something is court ordered, I think I'd tell auntie to cool her jets. I guess you could give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she is acting in your fathers best interest but I'm afraid Veronica is probably right and your aunt is attempting to somehow benefit from these actions. But do definitely make sure your mom is consulting an attorney - for peace of mind if nothing else.
Sheez. Family!